I’m 27 (female) and have two aunts on my mum’s side. This is about the younger one, let’s call her Sarah (42). For some context, Sarah and my mum have always had a rocky relationship. They’ve had good moments, but Sarah can be emotionally manipulative, stir up drama, and often blames my mum for things that aren’t her fault. But overall, our relationship with her was good, and you try to move on because you’re “family”, right?
In Jan 2021, my mum, two sisters and I rescued a dog called Owen. He had some anxiety issues, but we worked hard to train him and he was doing really well. One time, Sarah’s younger daughter, Ashley, had an ice cream and Owen tried to grab it. Sarah blew it way out of proportion and said Owen tried to attack her. Ashley wasn’t hurt. I’m not trying to take away Sarah’s worry, and I know dog swipes are serious, but four family members can confirm Owen wasn’t attacking. I think that made Sarah see Owen differently from then on.
Fast forward to May 2023. Sarah’s older daughter, June (16), came to our house. Owen was asleep on my mum’s bed, his safe space when overwhelmed. We told June repeatedly to give him space. Owen had always been lovely with her, but she didn’t listen. She kept bothering him, and he ended up nipping her on the jaw. It bled, so we took her to A&E. Thankfully, she was fine, no stitches, no scarring.
We were shaken and scared to tell Sarah, but of course we had to. As expected, she was upset and went to hospital too. Meanwhile, we took Owen to the vet to figure out our options. The vet said Owen wasn’t aggressive, just overwhelmed and needed space. He gave us three choices: 1) continue training, 2) try to rehome him (unlikely), or 3) put him down.
At first, Sarah seemed supportive. She texted saying she still loved us, wanted to stay in contact, and even told one sister she’d never expect us to put Owen down. But within days, she changed completely. She told our grandma she’d never forgive us if we kept him, and pressured my mum constantly. Even when our grandma asked her to give us space, she wouldn’t.
Then my mum got a text that was basically an ultimatum (my oldest sister is Jennifer):
“Please don’t pass this to mum, it will give her more stress than she needs.
And Jennifer too.
I don’t know why you haven’t made a decision, it’s been nearly a week. I feel sick to my stomach over what that dog did to my girls.
June hasn’t slept properly. Ashley wet the bed the night it happened. You need to take responsibility today, or I’ll have no choice but to report the dog as dangerous before he hurts anyone else. Please think about how this is impacting us.”
That message crushed us. We were heartbroken and felt backed into a corner. We didn’t want to lose Sarah or her daughters, so against our better judgement, we made the awful decision to put Owen down. We’ve regretted it ever since.
To make it worse, this was the week before Jennifer’s wedding. Our grandma wanted my mum and Sarah to talk beforehand. My mum went and stayed calm, but Sarah exploded, called her selfish, heartless and said she didn’t care about her children. My mum, devastated, said, “I killed our dog for you, what more do you want?” Sarah stormed off.
Since then, Sarah’s been cold, distant and twisted the story to make us look bad. She’s caused tension in the family. My mum has always been the one to fix things, even when not in the wrong, but this time, she didn’t. Sarah never reached out, and nothing was resolved.
That was my breaking point. I realised being family doesn’t excuse cruel or manipulative behaviour. Sarah had hurt me, my sisters and especially my mum too many times. So I blocked her on social media and cut contact.
I know cutting off family is a big deal, but after everything, especially the pressure that led to putting Owen down, I felt like I had no choice.
AITA?