Context- me (18f) and my friend (18m) have been friends since primary school very on and off where we should chat a lot and then don’t speak at all but never awkward. When we were about 15/16 we started talking more and calling every night we both started catching feelings and after about 6 months we went out on a date. The date was fine nothing bad happened but it did make me feel like I only saw him as a friend I made this clear to him and said I still want to be friends and that I was really sorry. He sent a rude message back and we didnt rlly ever talk. He messaged me maybe a year later saying he thinks that we could work but I again said I only see you as a friend. This year we started talking again and calling occasionally but I had reiterated that I only saw him as a friend and he said he aswell saw me as a friend. Because we had known each other for so long I do feel very comfortable around him and I find him very easy to talk to. We joke around a lot and are usually never serious. Anyway one night we got onto the conversation of what have done intimately with other people and that kind of topic it was a lighthearted conversation that was mainly jokey. in the middle of the call he said to me check what I sent you and it was a picture of his you know what I did feel rlly uncomfortable especially because he kept asking me to send him something, I don’t do that so I kept saying no absolutely not. After a while he felt bad and was apologising I said it’s fine don’t worry there’s nothing to stress about. After I ended the call I was very anxious and overthinking I messaged him and said don’t worry about it but please know this doesn’t change anything for me I only see you as a friend and that won’t change he agreed but I didn’t rlly believe him. The worst part is I was meant to meet him the next week around his house and the thought of that made me sick it worried me what the conversation would lead to and if he thought I was going to do anything with him. He didn’t try and message me and I was busy with work so I didn’t message him and I was physically disgusted at the thought of messaging him and so after the day I was meant to meet him he messaged me saying ‘bro’ I just didn’t wanna deal with it so I blocked him. I did feel better that I blocked him but I know Im a terrible person for doing that without explaining anything. Please do keep in mind that there have been a lot of times that he would message me (before this) saying he will always have feelings for me and basically begging me to give him another chance romantically. I do feel bad because I feel like maybe I lead him on by calling him and stuff and maybe I am overthinking and he does just think of me as a friend but I can’t even message him without the thought of being sick sick. Am I overreacting?
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Context- me (18f) and my friend (18m) have been friends since primary school very on and off where we should chat a lot and then don’t speak at all but never awkward. When we were about 15/16 we started talking more and calling every night we both started catching feelings and after about 6 months we went out on a date. The date was fine nothing bad happened but it did make me feel like I only saw him as a friend I made this clear to him and said I still want to be friends and that I was really sorry. He sent a rude message back and we didnt rlly ever talk. He messaged me maybe a year later saying he thinks that we could work but I again said I only see you as a friend. This year we started talking again and calling occasionally but I had reiterated that I only saw him as a friend and he said he aswell saw me as a friend. Because we had known each other for so long I do feel very comfortable around him and I find him very easy to talk to. We joke around a lot and are usually never serious. Anyway one night we got onto the conversation of what have done intimately with other people and that kind of topic it was a lighthearted conversation that was mainly jokey. in the middle of the call he said to me check what I sent you and it was a picture of his you know what I did feel rlly uncomfortable especially because he kept asking me to send him something, I don’t do that so I kept saying no absolutely not. After a while he felt bad and was apologising I said it’s fine don’t worry there’s nothing to stress about. After I ended the call I was very anxious and overthinking I messaged him and said don’t worry about it but please know this doesn’t change anything for me I only see you as a friend and that won’t change he agreed but I didn’t rlly believe him. The worst part is I was meant to meet him the next week around his house and the thought of that made me sick it worried me what the conversation would lead to and if he thought I was going to do anything with him. He didn’t try and message me and I was busy with work so I didn’t message him and I was physically disgusted at the thought of messaging him and so after the day I was meant to meet him he messaged me saying ‘bro’ I just didn’t wanna deal with it so I blocked him. I did feel better that I blocked him but I know Im a terrible person for doing that without explaining anything. Please do keep in mind that there have been a lot of times that he would message me (before this) saying he will always have feelings for me and basically begging me to give him another chance romantically. I do feel bad because I feel like maybe I lead him on by calling him and stuff and maybe I am overthinking and he does just think of me as a friend but I can’t even message him without the thought of being sick sick. Am I overreacting?
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> I blocked a long time friend of mine without any explanation.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Sending nudes randomly is harassment. I said what I said. NTA.
You’re NTA but just blocking him probably won’t solve the problem. : Consistent no-contact may help. If he continues to press your boundaries you may have to tell him he crossed the line and there’s no going back to “just friends” for you. You’re done. And then you really have to be done.
He’s definitely TA (for obvious reasons but also) because he tells you he only sees you as a friend when in reality, there is a long history to the contrary. He has only ever seen you as a romantic partner that has friend-zoned him but if he keeps trying…maybe you’ll come around. You did once before.
He’s probably pretty frustrated about that but is that your problem? No…you’ve told him he has no hope there but he persists.
Unsolicited nudes = block the asshole who sent them. No explanation necessary. He knows what he did. Talking to someone doesn’t give them permission to send you dick pics.
I’m glad you’re learning early, and you were smart and strong enough not to send anything back.
NTA you shouldnt feel bad, you dont owe him anything after he committed a crime against you.
NTA, you did well. He crossed a boundary that you clearly set several times before. If being with him doesn’t make you feel well, then you are doing the right thing. You already explained yourself a lot of times.
NTA, you didn’t need to explain why you blocked him, he knows. Sending unsolicited nude pictures to someone who has said over and over that they see you as a friend is an AH move. He doesn’t think of you as a friend if he’s begging you for romantic chances and sending you dick pics. Keep him blocked and move on.
You don’t have to explain anything but, I do recommend you that if someone has feeling for you the best you can do is leave if you’re not interested
Not because friendship is not possible, but because he clearly wasn’t taking a no as answer
So, in my opinion, nta but you need to be more aware about those things, sadly that how society is rn
Sending unsolicited nudes is absolutely unacceptable and you are NTA for blocking him. You should have been done with him after he was rude to you for telling him that you only wanted to be friends but better late than never. Don’t give him another chance. He’s shown you who he is.
NTA. I’ve been friends with a guy like this. It’s best to just cut contact. He isn’t gonna let it go. Just being friendly to him is gonna be a come on to him. He broke your boundaries multiple times. It’s time to let him go.
You are completely right to block him without talking about it, because you already have talked about it, at great length, for years, and instead of taking your no for an answer, he is escalating to sexual harassment. I’m proud of you for taking this step. Be strong, and hold to it. Just because you were friends in the past, doesn’t mean you are friends now, or ever have to be friends again. NTA
You can’t help how you react viscerally to what happened. But I will say blocking him without any conversation is an overreaction just in that it doesn’t actually fix anything. Have the hard conversation with him. “Hey, the other night actually made me uncomfortable as it made me realized maybe you don’t respect the boundary between us. I love being your friend but that’s the limit for me. I do not see you as more than that I know you’ve said you’ll always have feelings but if you can’t respect my boundaries because of your feelings maybe it is best for us to go separate ways.” It’s gonna suck either way but he should at least know how it made you feel because as of right now you said it was fine and then went radio silent. Unsolicited pics aren’t okay but that may be a lesson he needs to learn. It’s not your job to teach him but it’s your job to be open and honest about your feelings in the situation.
NTA and don’t feel bad for not giving him “closure” this person is toxic and not someone you want in your life. You’ve been very clear about your boundaries and it sounds like he’s the “I can change them” type of dude which gives me the ick.
NTA This isn’t even a question. Unsolicited dick picks is at best a tremendous misread. You owe him nothing and should not resume communication.
NTA. He was trying the long game to make you give in. Makes me laugh though, he must have thought that ‘ahem’ pic was going to make you think ‘omg I need me some of that’
No. I had lady friends that I’ve cut ties with as soon as the fun and jokes were interpreted as serious.
It is harsh and makes you feel bad, but it’s a much faster healing process for everyone.
NTA. This young man chose to send you an inappropriate picture and you are rightfully uncomfortable with that. You set your boundaries and he knows them clearly now.
He took the innocence out of your relationship by doing what he did. It offended you then and you are still offended and now distrustful of him. You are not obligated in any way to continue a relationship with someone who makes you feel this way, so please let go of any guilty feelings.
Keep him blocked as you have for as long, even forever, as you need. You do not have to look past this inappropriate behavior nor feel at all responsible for it. This was his decision, not yours. You’ve tried to make it clear you only see him as a friend and yet he chose to push that boundary.
Stop worrying about what this guy thinks or feels. You don’t need his antics in your life, and you don’t owe him any sort of regard or forgiveness for what he chose to do. You’re creeped out for good reason and not at all interested in continuing a connection with a guy who acts like this. His “friendship” is not the kind you need.
NTA. This guy doesn’t want to be friends. He’s a creep.
Sorry to tell you, but he will always see you as lore than a friend. As you get older, if you decide to start dating for marriage, you’ll learn you can’t have a best friend of the opposite sex, especially one that is fond of you. Never out yourself in a situation where seeds of infedelity can grow. Point being, just let this one out of your life and move on.
NTA
I have a rule for unsolicited d*ck pics. If you are fine with me seeing them, even though I don’t want to, then you are fine with all your male friends and all family seeing them. Along with your boss. Clearly you wanted this image shared with everybody since you are just sharing it to people who have not asked to see it. If it was wrong for me to send it around, it was wrong for you.
“Here is a random picture your son/brother/grandson sent me. I have no idea why he sent me this. I sure as heck did not ask to see it. Clearly they must want to show everybody.” D*ck pic.
Only way they will learn is by being fired, cussed out by mom, dad, and grandma, and all their friends making fun of them
NTA. He won’t take no for an answer, and that is harassment.
NTA but it’s time for you to move on, your “boy bestfriend” or whatever is not going to settle into being friendzoned.