Hi guys,
I honestly have been feeling really shitty about this and the people around me have been making me feel shitty too, so I need to know if I’m the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend.
So, for context, I (24F) have been dating someone for the past two years (30M). It has honestly been great for the most part, he’s really sweet and supportive and I definitely saw myself spending my life with him, but lately something changed.
Every couple of weeks he get these new interests that take up his entire time when he’s not working, and usually I think it’s really cute but his latest interest was MarioKart. Now, I’m not a big gamer myself, but I enjoyed MarioKart when I grew up so I have been playing with him every now and then.
Every. Single. Game. He beats me. And it’s not even like cute and competitive like you see sometimes. It’s almost embarrassing and he enjoys shoving it in my face that i’m not as good as him and just making me feel like shit for losing. I am quite competitive myself, and I keep on trying to beat him just once but I have absolutely no shot at doing so.
It has gotten to a point where we’d play almost every day, and even when we don’t play he brings it up in conversations. When we’re with friends, he enjoys gloating about his achievements while absolutely ridiculing me. I tried talking to him about it, since this obsession has been going on for a while and he hasn’t shown any signs of stopping it yet. He just told me that it was a game and I shouldn’t take it so serious.
I broke up with him after I had just gotten home from a shitty day at work. I work in childcare so I think y’all can imagine how stressful a day can be. I was just looking for some compassion but he was playing MarioKart again and was trying to get me to play. I tried telling him I just wanted to eat and go to bed but he kept on pestering me about playing and I just snapped. I told him I couldn’t do this anymore and if he didn’t stop playing I would break up. He told me again how I shouldn’t overreact and that it was just a game, so I packed a small bag and have been staying over at one of my best friends place.
She is the only person who understands my point of view, since she didn’t know my bf before I did, but the rest of our friends and both my and his family have been texting me constantly telling me I shouldn’t have overreacted and just take him back.
So, AITA?
Comments
It was never about the game. It was about him consistently choosing to be cruel and dismissive of your feelings. That is not partnership.
NTA
YTA, he just wants to involve you in his hobbies, you should be used to this by now
This wasn’t about Mariokart it was about constantly feeling unheard, disrespected and turned into the punchline when all you wanted was a partner not a competitor.
The game wasn’t the issue, it was just the last straw. It sounds like he wasn’t giving you the emotional support you needed. NTA.
Cool fake story ..
NTA. MarioKart doesn’t end relationships. Men who turn into smug 12 year olds over a blue shell and won’t hear their partner out do
First off your ex BF might be Autistic, this sounds like hyper fixation. Next its not the losing that is bothering you its him being a piss poor winner and acting like he solved world hunger when he won a stupid fucking round of Mario kart. Im autistic, I get hyper fixated on things I talk about my hyper fixation until im blue in the face, and I do try to be aware of how I say things so its not insensitive but it is easy to miss things. That said if my partner points it out and says “hey this hurt” I do my damndest to be aware of not repeating what I said and always apologize and try to think of how to avoid hurtin them.
NTA
But the way he used the game to humiliate you, ignore your feelings, and disrespect your boundaries is not just playful competition. It became persistent belittling
I appreciate this happened, because I laughed out loud 😂
There is no shame in getting beat by someone better . Just say don’t know why he takes so much pride in winning. he is so good, and im really bad, it would be a surprise if I won.
But if it makes you feel bad to play, then stop playing, and find something else to do.
As a gamer, gaming brings out sides of people they can otherwise keep hidden for a really long time. You can learn a LOT about what kind of person someone really is in a very short time by how they treat other people while they’re gaming.
You just learned your boyfriend is a bullying asshole. He just FAFOd. You said you would remove yourself from the relationship if his behavior didn’t change and you did.
Anyone who witnessed him belittle and bully you over games and is telling you to go back to him are not your friends.
> It’s almost embarrassing and he enjoys shoving it in my face that i’m not as good as him and just making me feel like shit for losing
it’s not about Mario kart. NTA
my partner is like leagues better then me at super smash, it’s like watching somebody get out in a trash compactor over and over. it sucks ! i told them once that it wasn’t fun playing with them on that game and we have since found other games we both enjoy planning together at different skill levels. that’s the normal way to go about this.
your EX bf is an ass whos probably never going to understand it’s not the game that caused the issue, it’s him. you’re better off without him b
ESH
Git gud.
I’ll beat him at Mario kart for you❤️
Haha, you’re the worst loser :))
People saying it was about Mario Kart are silly. You are most definitely NTAH. My partner and I play that and Mario Party and we both grew up playing video games and can get mildly competitive, but we are kind to each other about it, and even joke about “letting each other win”. If my partner behaved like this after I have expressed how it made me feel, especially with the gaslighting by saying “it’s just a game” I would leave too.
Yes people can change, but I feel like a lot of times if you give them the opportunity to they won’t. It’s the hard lessons that teach us something, and losing a solid relationship over invalidating your partners feelings may teach him to do better next time.
It’s not about Mario Kart it’s about him being a bad winner. I would be very curious to see what happens if you beat him. I bet he loses his shit because usually bad winners are all so bad losers
Did you try and actually get good at the game?
NTA!!! you were driven to your breaking point because of his lack of consideration for your feelings, completely!
I’ve had a similar experience with my partner, and it can be really really frustrating to lose over and over again when there’s a skill gap and the other person refuses to ever go easy on you- plain and simple it just doesn’t feel good!
But add in his bad attitude, gloating and mocking you to your friends?? That is AWFUL behavior and would push anyone over the edge. If he really cared about you and your feelings he wouldn’t treat you that way.
Maybe this is something you guys could have a serious conversation about, and work through if he changes his behavior and attitude in how he treats you in regards to this game.
Its obviously more than “just a game” to him if he feels so much pride about it that he can mock you for not being good enough to beat him.
It’s not about the Iranian yoghurt
First tell him the real reason for the breakup is he’s lousy in bed, has a small unit and smells weird and is a loser going nowhere. And you’ve told all your friends about this. Then ask how it feels to be degraded and publicly humiliated. Jk. But seriously, gaming is supposed to be fun with your partner and pushing people to their breaking point shouldn’t be your partners amusement. That’s twisted. After a tough day gaming should be a destressor not a stressor. Curbside worthy guy. Imagine if you have kids, he’d most likely suck the fun out of gaming with them, or sport activities, etc. Be the loudmouth dad at little league games berating his kids for not scoring.
Does he play online with friends and they razz each other to the extreme? Perhaps hes having trouble differentiating between gaming with you and gaming with them. Me and my friends would do so, but I never did so to my son or wife. Though she calls me a cheating bitch when I beat her at something.
sounds like a story you’d hear in the Cell Block Tango
you didn’t break up with him over MarioKart (it’s annoying y’all would word it like that, it’s really not the issue at hand). You broke up with him over a repeated pattern of callousness, disrespect, and immaturity. Goading is part of a functional relationship, what he did was extreme.
Plus, you DID communicate with him and he decided to dismiss you. What were you supposed to do? Stay there and stay unhappy and annoyed day in day out?
Up to him to find, court, and date the plethora of women that will love his sense of humour (I assume he thinks you’re being difficult and that anyone else would have found him hilarious, right?).
The rest of your friends and relatives can date him if they like him so much. Why is it always up to the prankee to not “overreact”? Why is it never to the prankster to tone down and shut the fuck up for once?
NTA. You’re free. Find yourself a mature man who is your age.
NTA.
But just out of curiosity, has he been diagnosed with anything? These periodic obsessions sound like a mental health issue.