hey guys. i can’t stop mentioning this crazy thing that happened when i was a teen if the person who did the crazy stuff is mentioned. as it says in the title, it was over 7 years ago, so it doesn’t get mentioned a lot. but on the off chance it is brought up in conversation, i launch into a full monologue. i’ve noticed myself doing it and i just want your genuine opinion of of it all?
it all started when me (21M) and my family friend started going to a youth group at 13. we got along with a lot of people and bonded over musical theatre which me and my family performed in around the city i live in. after going to this youth group forra bit + mingling with a lot of likeminded people, my family and i got really close with some youth leaders. specifically a woman we’ll call K. K (33F) also performed in musicals and we all became quite close. she worked as a nurse and a youth leader/worker. she used to take me to arcades + go to trivia with her partner. she was even my youth worker for a bit, helping me navigate identity stuff. sometimes it helped her talk through some family issues surrounding a serious illness she dealt with for years.
around 2019, years had passed of being family friends and K’s partner proposed. we all went to the wedding. my family friend that i went to youth group with sung and i recited a poem she picked out. i was only a teenager at the time but i noticed weird stuff around her wedding day. like a day before the wedding K notified her wedding party and a few members of my family that her parents couldn’t make it because her father had a fall. her maid of honour (a youth leader i knew) was also leaving the wedding table a lot during the reception to speak with my family friends mum (call her Jojo).
soon after the wedding, a bombshell of info came out that K had been lying for ages. apparently K blocked all her family (her parents didn’t even know she was having a wedding), she wasn’t a nurse (but a receptionist at a doctors office) and she never had any illness. we found out when Jojo grew suspicious of info that didn’t add up. it turns out that K had munchausen’s. a disorder where she derived attention + sympathy from others by lying about being sick and creating more intricate lies. it went on for years until Jojo contacted a facebook profile she assumed was K’s dad and said something like “i’m K’s friend, so sorry to hear about your fall. wish to have seen you at the wedding”. thats when she found out K’s dad hadn’t spoken to her for years.
K’s facebook + number were gone after the truth spread. i never saw her again. for the rest of that year i was stuck thinking i was in a crazy elaborate prank. coz i kinda was?
so when K’s name is ever mentioned somewhere (especially if it’s mentioned by someone who didn’t see all the shit go down) i tell a more detailed story of how i knew her, but also to stay away. AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
hey guys. i can’t stop mentioning this crazy thing that happened when i was a teen if the person who did the crazy stuff is mentioned. as it says in the title, it was over 7 years ago, so it doesn’t get mentioned a lot. but on the off chance it is brought up in conversation, i launch into a full monologue. i’ve noticed myself doing it and i just want your genuine opinion of of it all?
it all started when me (21M) and my family friend started going to a youth group at 13. we got along with a lot of people and bonded over musical theatre which me and my family performed in around the city i live in. after going to this youth group forra bit + mingling with a lot of likeminded people, my family and i got really close with some youth leaders. specifically a woman we’ll call K. K (33F) also performed in musicals and we all became quite close. she worked as a nurse and a youth leader/worker. she used to take me to arcades + go to trivia with her partner. she was even my youth worker for a bit, helping me navigate identity stuff. sometimes it helped her talk through some family issues surrounding a serious illness she dealt with for years.
around 2019, years had passed of being family friends and K’s partner proposed. we all went to the wedding. my family friend that i went to youth group with sung and i recited a poem she picked out. i was only a teenager at the time but i noticed weird stuff around her wedding day. like a day before the wedding K notified her wedding party and a few members of my family that her parents couldn’t make it because her father had a fall. her maid of honour (a youth leader i knew) was also leaving the wedding table a lot during the reception to speak with my family friends mum (call her J).
soon after the wedding, a bombshell of info came out that K had been lying for ages. apparently K blocked all her family (her parents didn’t even know she was having a wedding), she wasn’t a nurse (but a receptionist at a doctors office) and she never had any illness. we found out when J grew suspicious of info that didn’t add up. it turns out that K had munchausen’s. a disorder where she derived attention + sympathy from others by lying about being sick and creating more intricate lies. it went on for years until J contacted a facebook profile she assumed was K’s dad and said something like “i’m K’s friend, so sorry to hear about your fall. wish to have seen you at the wedding”. thats when she found out K’s dad hadn’t spoken to her for years.
K’s facebook + number were gone after the truth spread. i never saw her again. for the rest of that year i was stuck thinking i was in a crazy elaborate prank. coz i kinda was?
so when K’s name is ever mentioned somewhere (especially if it’s mentioned by someone who didn’t see all the shit go down) i tell a more detailed story of how i knew her, but also to stay away. AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i could be the asshole because i talk about something that was crazy but did happen a bit of time ago, so people might think im the asshole for not letting it go or being too excessive towards something that was crazy at the time but maybe there was an explanation ?
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
That’s some lifetime-movie level deception. I’d be telling that story for the next 20 years if it happened to me at 13. If people don’t wanna hear it, they can not bring her up
I’m sure people get weary of hearing your story; it sounds a bit like an obsession. “This is my one interesting story and I’ll tell it every chance I get” type of thing. It really does sound very gossipy.
YWBTA if you keep doing it obsessively.
Soft YTA? What they did was pretty wild and some people wouldn’t be able to forgive it. I wouldn’t. I also imagine at some point retelling this story is less about what happened and more about gossip. It’s up to you to decide what grace they deserve, just try to be aware of how it would feel to hear gossip about yourself get back to you.
NAH exactly, but what you’re doing is traumadumping on people. You haven’t processed what happened with K (because it sounds wild as hell) and you’re trying to process it by sharing it with others to gauge whether your reaction is appropriate. There’s nothing wrong with processing it, but you don’t really need to process it with every person who happens to mention this ex-friend’s name. You might want to find a therapist or close friend you can discuss this with instead.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing your stories but if you’re doing this every single time the name is mentioned, I suspect the name is triggering to you. It’s making you feel the need to rehash all those memories, and whoever you’re talking to might not be open to doing that on the spot just because they said the name “K”
Softly, YTA. It clearly was a traumatic experience and it’s acceptable to acknowledge and feel that. However if any mention of it requires you to launch into the full story, then you need to find support and help to stop doing that.
drama served with extra fries!
>i can’t stop mentioning this crazy thing that happened when i was a teen if the person who did the crazy stuff is mentioned.
I’m gonna stop you right there. YTA.
Yeah, I’m sure it’s an interesting story and all that but it’s time to let it go.