I live in a state that gets cold winters and hot, humid summers. I have never been lucky enough to live somewhere with central AC and my current house is no different. It gets very very hot. The only rooms with air conditioning are the bedrooms, one is for sleeping and the other is an office. We have lived here for 4 years now.
Every summer I have the same problem, it gets too hot for me to cook. Right now, my kitchen is 85°f (~29.5c) In the past summers, it gets up to 90°f (32c). It is so hot that when I cook, even quick meals like spaghetti, I overheat. I get dizzy, my head hurts, I feel weak. It is awful. My husband knows about this.
I finally got fed up. After another episode of overheating while cooking, I broke down and ordered an air conditioner for the kitchen. It’s small and cheap, about $200 and it will keep the kitchen cool. My plan is to use it when I am cooking or cleaning in the kitchen.
My husband wasn’t home when I ordered it and I honestly forgot to tell him I ordered it until it arrived 2 days later. He saw me bring it inside and asked what it was and I told him it was an air conditioner for the kitchen.
He is mad that I didn’t consult him before buying it. That is true, I didn’t. And I forgot to tell him I did. He told me it was a waste of money, too expensive to run, and I can just use a fan when I cook or just not cook at all. He wanted me to return it.
I don’t want to go the whole summer never being able to cook because the kitchen won’t cool off. I also paid for it with my own money, I don’t expect him to split the cost with me, and I pay the electric bill! I can afford the added cost of running it a few times per week to cool down the kitchen so I can cook without getting sick.
I didn’t return it like he wanted and I installed the air conditioner myself and have used it twice since I got it, once to cook and once to do a deep clean in the kitchen. When it’s been on, he scoffs and rolls his eyes and acts all passive aggressive because he thinks it was a waste of money and frivolous spending.
So AITA for buying an air conditioner without consulting my husband?
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I live in a state that gets cold winters and hot, humid summers. I have never been lucky enough to live somewhere with central AC and my current house is no different. It gets very very hot. The only rooms with air conditioning are the bedrooms, one is for sleeping and the other is an office. We have lived here for 4 years now.
Every summer I have the same problem, it gets too hot for me to cook. Right now, my kitchen is 85°f (~29.5c) In the past summers, it gets up to 90°f (32c). It is so hot that when I cook, even quick meals like spaghetti, I overheat. I get dizzy, my head hurts, I feel weak. It is awful. My husband knows about this.
I finally got fed up. After another episode of overheating while cooking, I broke down and ordered an air conditioner for the kitchen. It’s small and cheap, about $200 and it will keep the kitchen cool. My plan is to use it when I am cooking or cleaning in the kitchen.
My husband wasn’t home when I ordered it and I honestly forgot to tell him I ordered it until it arrived 2 days later. He saw me bring it inside and asked what it was and I told him it was an air conditioner for the kitchen.
He is mad that I didn’t consult him before buying it. That is true, I didn’t. And I forgot to tell him I did. He told me it was a waste of money, too expensive to run, and I can just use a fan when I cook or just not cook at all. He wanted me to return it.
I don’t want to go the whole summer never being able to cook because the kitchen won’t cool off. I also paid for it with my own money, I don’t expect him to split the cost with me, and I pay the electric bill! I can afford the added cost of running it a few times per week to cool down the kitchen so I can cook without getting sick.
I didn’t return it like he wanted and I installed the air conditioner myself and have used it twice since I got it, once to cook and once to do a deep clean in the kitchen. When it’s been on, he scoffs and rolls his eyes and acts all passive aggressive because he thinks it was a waste of money and frivolous spending.
So AITA for buying an air conditioner without consulting my husband?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I bought an air conditioner without consulting my husband because I was too hot when I cooked and he got mad. I also did not return it when he said I should.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, sounds like your husband should be doing all the cooking this summer as the heat doesn’t bother him.
NTA. You spent your own money so that you can accomplish tasks that benefit both of you. He owes you both an apology and a thank you.
NTA. Tell him you’ll return it but he’s now responsible for cooking all meals.
Updateme
NTA. You had a problem and took care of it. With your own money. Being dizzy is a bad sign and you don’t want heat stroke. I lived in the desert for many years. Make absolutely sure you’re drinking enough water. That will help with the dizziness . But NTA for taking charge of your health.
It’s hard to imagine a scenario where one spouse can drop hundreds of dollars on an appliance without telling the other, and not be an AH.
In this case, I think ESH. This should have been discussed beforehand – all major purchases and changes to the home should be discussed. But hubby also doesn’t get to just veto the idea, especially if he isn’t the one paying for it.
So OP sucks for doing this unilaterally without discussion. Hubby sucks more for being pissy about his wife not wanting to have heatstroke in her own kitchen.
NTA
You bought it with your own money and you pay for the electric bill so what he’s complaining about ? He is in no way is paying for the AC
NTA. But before we got married, my spouse and I had a questionnaire that encompassed everything from religion, to finances, to childcare styles. One of the questions we had to answer was “What dollar amount would you consider as a ‘big ticket item’, where you’d want a discussion before either makes a purchase?”
Look up the short story, “The Revolt of Mother”. Get it. Then read it out loud while you’re cooking and he’s within earshot. The man should be protecting you, not hindering you.
> or just not cook at all
Great! He can take on the task of cooking for you without the AC running. Maybe he’ll gain some empathy for his overheating wife who is kind enough to cook for him in stupid hot weather.
If he’s bitching about the cost to run an AC unit for the kitchen, I wonder how he’ll feel about the cost of doing takeout or delivery multiple times every day when it’s hot.
NTA.
NTA tell he can cook without it then.
NTA. Let him sleep outside
NTA. You bought it with your own money. You pay the electric bill. You installed the air conditioner. He has nothing to gripe about. You have every right to be able to use your kitchen in comfort during the summer months. His suggestions of just use a fan or don’t cook are impractical.
NTA. Not a major purchase. And with your own money. He just wants you to do things his way. Too bad. Stay cool.