My brother and his ‘friends’ was laughing at my wife, it was his birthday party and his guests but because he’s family my wife said she wants to come with me and wants to be in her bil’s party, she was on her periods and she bleeds alot during her periods and I asked her to rest but she wanted to join.
We took extra precautions, we would cautiously go to washroom change the pads but it wasn’t enough, my wife ended up staining her dress and we were clueless and my brother and his friends were laughing at my wife and they said ‘they can see my wife’s blood on her dress’
My wife was embarrassed and I was following her to cover it up, we both left and my wife is embarrassed and she’s traumatized, I told my parents that I will never talk to my ‘brother’, he was laughing at my wife and his friends were laughing her.
My brother said that he’s sorry and my Mom says that I should forgive him, I told my mom that I will never forgive him and he’s literally dead to me I asked her how would she feel if she was bleeding and someone would laugh at her?
My mom said that I should forgive my brother, aita if I do not? My wife MIGHT but I wouldn’t ever
Comments
Are your brother and his friends 12 or something?
You’re not the asshole for standing up for your wife—what your brother and his friends did was cruel and humiliating. Whether you forgive him is entirely your choice, but protecting your wife’s dignity and setting boundaries is reasonable.
Is your brother and his friends teenagers? There’s no way he’s a grown adult.
Why should you forgive him? Has he even given a sincere apology? Is he 7 years old?
He’s a AH and she did a shit job of raising him
NTa
Before the question of forgiving him or not is considered, has he sincerely apologized to you wife yet? Nothing should be done until he’s done that. If he’s really sorry, he should have called or reached out to her personally and apologized. If he hasn’t taken it upon himself to say he’s sorry to your wife, I’d say NTA for cutting his stupid ass off.
If he has apologized, I’d let your wife take the lead.
I’m a HUGE fan of forgiveness and reconciliation but what your brother is even HUGER. I would likely never speak to him or of hm ever again. But if you want to be kind, if, and only if, your brother apologizes to your wife and your wife is convinced of his seriousness then you might speak to him again with a polite indifference. But let seven years pass before you let bygones be bygones as the say.
YTA.
Are you and your wife 12 year olds? It makes me want to throw up the way your wife, presumably an adult, needs your help managing her period. At her big age? You need to “tell her to rest”, you need to say “we” went to bathroom to change pads? And she can’t freaking laugh at herself when she stains her dress and you guys get so offended you will cut off your brother who already apologized? This is insane.
Repeat after me:
👏 menstruation isn’t a disability
👏 women aren’t invalid one week per month
👏 a grown woman doesn’t need support taking care of her period
This is learned helplessness, manipulative women get you to care for them using the argument that you don’t menstruate therefore they can tell you it’s an incredible burden and you eat that up.
Any woman past her teenage years knows how to manage her period without requiring your help, without needing you to check for her, without needing you to buy her pads, without needing you to tuck her in bed and bring her chocolate. You shouldn’t even KNOW when a woman is on her period, other than the fact that you would be aware when you have sex with her.
Staining her clothes at her age is embarrassing and it’s okay to mock it.
Honestly you did what you needed to do to support your wife. Follow your wife’s lead on this and support her in her decisions. I am just worried she might feel guilty (knowingly or not) for breaking up your lifelong relationship with your sibling. You and your brother obviously need to have a serious talk.
Is your brother 12???? Because this is extremely juvenile behavior.