So last night me and my boyfriend got into a pretty heated argument. It wasn’t anything too bad but emotions were all over the place, it’s nothing we can’t ever get through. I was pretty upset and I was crying. My boyfriend in the heat of moment suggested I call my abuser, and move back in with him. This triggered me because I know he didn’t mean it and he was just trying to be spiteful. He has admitted to doing it before. So since he said that I got really triggered. His sister then comes in our room and started inserting herself into her fight. She started saying “He’s just frustrated, He’s just upset” And talking over me when I trying to explain to him what he said was wrong. So I got angry with her and told her to “Please stop, you know what he said wasn’t right. And please stop taking sides during our fight it’s weird.” I really just wanted her to leave the room and I don’t appreciate a teenager inserting themselves into my relationship. Then she plays victim and started crying making the situation about herself. Her brother was taking her out of the room and when I snapped and said “She’s acting like a bitch anyways.” Because I felt like she was.
Me and my boyfriend of course talked and made up today like we always do. Then his sister got home today from school and was ignoring me, acting like she couldn’t stand anywhere near me and refusing to go in any room I was in. It really is bothering me because she was the one inserting herself into my relationship and now she’s acting like I did something to her. So AITA?
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So last night me and my boyfriend got into a pretty heated argument. It wasn’t anything too bad but emotions were all over the place, it’s nothing we can’t ever get through. I was pretty upset and I was crying. My boyfriend in the heat of moment suggested I call my abuser, and move back in with him. This triggered me because I know he didn’t mean it and he was just trying to be spiteful. He has admitted to doing it before. So since he said that I got really triggered. His sister then comes in our room and started inserting herself into her fight. She started saying “He’s just frustrated, He’s just upset” And talking over me when I trying to explain to him what he said was wrong. So I got angry with her and told her to “Please stop, you know what he said wasn’t right. And please stop taking sides during our fight it’s weird.” I really just wanted her to leave the room and I don’t appreciate a teenager inserting themselves into my relationship. Then she plays victim and started crying making the situation about herself. Her brother was taking her out of the room and when I snapped and said “She’s acting like a bitch anyways.” Because I felt like she was.
Me and my boyfriend of course talked and made up today like we always do. Then his sister got home today from school and was ignoring me, acting like she couldn’t stand anywhere near me and refusing to go in any room I was in. It really is bothering me because she was the one inserting herself into my relationship and now she’s acting like I did something to her. So AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called my boyfriend’s sister a bitch for inserting herself into my relationship and our fight. I feel like I could be an asshole because she is a teenager and all, but this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this. So I may have taken it a little too far.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Sounds like everyone was the asshole in this situation.
ESH-Him for saying a horrid thing like that. You for saying a horrible thing to a teenager. The sister for getting in the middle of your argument.
Emotions were clearly running high here, but honestly you all were being assholes. She shouldn’t have inserted herself into your fight. He shouldn’t have thrown your past in your face to be cruel and spiteful. And, while totally justified in being upset and wanting his sister out of the room, name calling isn’t ok. Especially once she’s already on her way out. Just sounds like everyone needs to apologize to everyone and y’all need to lay some ground rules for the sister involving herself in your relationship.
“Never mind my normalizing an extremely toxic relationship, just tell me if I shouldn’t have called a teenager a bitch.”
Edit: For clarification, ESH
ESH.
boyfriend and sister are obvious, you because you made that statement out of spite.
ESH. If I had to create a tier list your boyfriend would be at the top and his sister would be at the bottom. He’s admitted to hanging your abuser over your head during arguments and you’re just… okay with that? Anyway. You have no right to call a teenage girl out of her name in any capacity and she has no right to insert herself in the romantic life of two adults. This is honestly a dumpster fire and you either need strict boundaries or a breakup
> It wasn’t anything too bad
> I was crying. My boyfriend in the heat of moment suggested I call my abuser, and move back in with him
I’d hate to know what a serious argument leads to in this relationship if something that’s “not anything too bad” ends up like this. This is ridiculous. ESH.
ESH. Your relationship with your boyfriend sounds horrible, and you calling his sister a bitch was unnecessary. Are you all minors? Why are you calling a child a bitch? And why do you expect her to be nice to you after that?
The person you should be mad at is your boyfriend. She wouldn’t have inserted herself into your argument if he hadn’t made her privy to the details of your relationship problems. ESH
ESH. You’ll never be happy or have a successful relationship with any of you acting like that.
ESH.
>So last night me and my boyfriend got into a pretty heated argument. It wasn’t anything too bad but emotions were all over the place, it’s nothing we can’t ever get through. I was pretty upset and I was crying. My boyfriend in the heat of moment suggested I call my abuser, and move back in with him. This triggered me because I know he didn’t mean it and he was just trying to be spiteful. He has admitted to doing it before.
Both of you need to understand that those kinds of fights are not normal and they’re not ok.
His sister also needs to not get involved.
Bet you won’t make an edit and explain what the argument was about, why you were crying and what you said before… you tried to make it seem like you were a victim to see if you could get anyone to side w you… and couldn’t even get that right.
My guess is you were being toxic and then cried the victim game… when you were losing the argument. Got him frustrated and sis stupidly as a teenager she is got in to a fight where she dont belong.
You all sound awful to be around. You called a teenager a bitch, of course you’re an asshole, but luckily you aren’t the only one here. Clearly you are having arguments loud enough and around enough people that they can easily hear it, you inserted your relationship into their lives. Your arguments are obviously way worse than you say, normal arguments aren’t like that. Y’all got a lot of growing to do. ESH
ESH, emphasis on YTA.
Should the sister have gotten involved? No, but you are way out of line for your comment… If I was your boyfriend, I’d be breaking up with you over that.
ESH for sure. It sounds like you and your bf aren’t mature enough to have significant others. Of the three of you, the 16 year old girl comes out looking best here.
ESH
It’s not right for her to get defensive of him when he’s doing something wrong. However, if you two aren’t held to a standard of keeping your emotions in check and acting rationally in the heat of the moment, why is the teenager held to that standard? It is understandable how she could default to being protective of her family member in a heated situation. Doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t make her “a bitch”.
With you though…