So we were recently at beach party, and my girlfriend sort of went off on her own w her friends and hugged a few guys that she may or may not have known, was taking pictures with other guys, and letting random guys feed her drinks etc.. you get the point.
So I kinda just started to do my own thing and met these people playing a frisbee game, I got partnered up with another girl (2v2 game) and we played for a little bit. Out of no where my girlfriend comes stomping over and killing the vibe by questioning me, “who is this?” “Did you seriously just high five her?” She then kept bringing it up for entire day.
Later that day I kinda snapped and called her a hypocrite and some not so nice things.
I’m I the A hole?
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So we were recently at beach party, and my girlfriend sort of went off on her own w her friends and hugged a few guys that she may or may not have known, was taking pictures with other guys, and letting random guys feed her drinks etc.. you get the point.
So I kinda just started to do my own thing and met these people playing a frisbee game, I got partnered up with another girl (2v2 game) and we played for a little bit. Out of no where my girlfriend comes stomping over and killing the vibe by questioning me, “who is this?” “Did you seriously just high five her?” She then kept bringing it up for entire day.
Later that day I kinda snapped and called her a hypocrite and some not so nice things.
I’m I the A hole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I yelled at my girlfriend and called her a hypocrite. Instead of talking to her, and just asking a question I got mad and called her a hypocrite.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Hypocrite, no, but “not so nice things”, maybe? Regardless y’all need to communicate because this does noooot sound healthy
Wow, dude, how dare you high-five another girl when you are in a committed relationship?!! I would say NTA, but I don’t know enough info on what went on before, during, and after.
NTA
If she behaved like you describe you should dump her. Huge red flags.
NTA
you were one not being jealous (me personally I would’ve been quite upset) and two you didn’t do anything wrong and she is a hypocrite
NTA, she sounds like a hypocrite. She shouldn’t have even mentioned it if she was off doing her own thing all night.
NTA but maybe you and your girl need to have a serious discussion about comfort and boundaries (with other people).
YTA. You are pathetic. You resented her for talking to other men so you did some passive aggressive sh*t by chumming up to other women. She was straight forward in her response. No she didn’t like. I will be downvoted for this. But I think if you didn’t like what she was doing then you should have told rather than play games.
Hypocrite was obviously a pretty accurate statement. “Jealous” would have been, too. But INFO: what “not so nice things” did you call her?
She’s obviously TA, the only question is whether you are as well, for what you called her.
NTA – your girlfriend thinks she still has something to prove to herself with the attention she is seeking. It was incredibly rude and disrespectful of her to not stop the random guys giving her that attention. She seems to be very immature. Are you sure you want to be with that?
INFO: what were the “not so nice things”?
That’s the hinge between N-T-A and E-S-H. “Hypocrite” is accurate. Calling her out of her name (for example) would be a bridge too far.
calling her some not very nice things does make you an AH, but in regards to the situation I don’t think you are. you guys need to have a serious chat and start communicating more because obviously communication isn’t going the best at the mo
NTA
Her behavior will only get worse over time. Walk away and dont look back or plan on being miserable
NTA, she was doing way more, then got mad over a high five? That’s honestly not okay.
NTAH
NTA. She sounds extremely immature and hypocritical. She was getting a bunch of attention from guys and reveled in it whilst you high-fived people you were gaming with.
NTA . run bro u don’t want a girl like that. Before long u come home to other dudes piping her
Nta until you started calling her not so nice things. She is indeed a hypocrite, but those not so nice things were probably uncalled for. You could’ve left it at calling her a hypocrite
NTA. You guys sound young af. She also sounds guilty. Get outta there- it’s going to get worse.
Sounds like you acted jealous and she played with that, then you retaliated and she got mad, and both of you are still too immature for a relationship. ESH
ESH, though my sympathies are with you. You probably should have let her know that if she wanted to hang out in a friendly manner with other guys, she shouldn’t have a problem with you hanging out with other girls in a friendly manner, and then talked it out rather than letting it fester until you snapped. But ‘hypocrite’ sounds about right.
Did she know them, or not? That’s the difference between YTA and NTA. If she’s hanging out with her friends, and you go find a random broad in order to make her jealous… Come on.
NTA – seriously, hi fiving??? Imagine trying to show photos of people hi fiving in divorce court as evidence!!
lol wonder what the not so nice things were
NTA
So she left you alone to hang out with some random guys, and then got mad when you did more or less the same? NTA for calling her a hypocrite.
NTA. She was going off hanging out with people, and you did the same. Her interactions were platonic, and your interactions were platonic. You both overreacted IMO
NTA, that’s scary
NTA. She is crossing obvious boundaries and trying to force you to comply with her self serving double standard.
Dump while you can dude, she does not respect you.
NTA. F that hypocrisy. She can’t even see it when it just happens on the same trip.
Not at all. I constantly have to remind my girl that if the shoe were on the other foot would she be okay with me doing the same things. It’s called mutual respect and only took her 10 years to figure out she can say no and it’s okay. So either say no thanks or have a pissy partner not a hard choice imo.
As a very jealous fiancée, NTA. If she wasn’t ok with you high-fiving a random girl, then she was absolutely a hypocrite in this situation.
It’s OK for her to crawl all over other guys, but God forbid you give another woman a high five. I don’t think she’s mature enough to be in their actual relationship.
I’ve learned a seriously important lesson in relationships, if your partner starts wildly accusing you of things you aren’t even doing, they’re most likely just projecting their own actions/feelings back onto you.
I had this girl I was dating for 2 months , she was a nymphomaniac, and we’d have sex literally at least once every day. So for a solid week, I told her I was tired of always having sex and doing nothing else. Immediately, she starts saying “you don’t want to fuck me because you’re already fucking another girl” and “you’re cheating on me” . Come to find out a few months later after I broke up with her that day, I ended up getting Chlamydia from her. SHE was the one cheating, but projected it back onto me hoping she’d be right.