For context, me and my mom are white. She has 5 kids, including me. Her youngest 3 are mixed and their dad is black. I am 17 and the oldest. I also do not live with my mom, however it is not due to this situation.
Anyways, my mom came over about a month ago to help me complete some paperwork. She brought up how trashy it is when black women would go out in public in bonnets. This caught me off guard, as I grew up on a majority black neighborhood and so did she. I told her I didn’t have a problem with that, but I asked her why she did. She told me that it looks bad and lazy and makes them look trashy. I knew that arguing wouldn’t end well, so I tried to end the conversation and change it to something else. She then started complaining how they looked like bunch of trashy….(N words).
I told her that she shouldn’t say that because she was white, however she justified her saying the word because she has mixed kids. I told her that that doesn’t justify anything, and that she was racist for using that word. She then started arguing with me that she was justified for saying it for having baby daddies that are black and that she has black kids, and therefore she should say this. I argued back that that doesn’t mean anything and that she’s not black.
We argued back and forth and then she had to leave to cook dinner for her kids. Its been a month and she hasn’t came over. When we have spoken over the phone, it was usually for business or when I need something from her. I’m starting to wonder if I was too harsh, however I still believe that she shouldn’t say the n word, under no circumstances.
So, AITA?
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For context, me and my mom are white. She has 5 kids, including me. Her youngest 3 are mixed and their dad is black. I am 17 and the oldest. I also do not live with my mom, however it is not due to this situation.
Anyways, my mom came over about a month ago to help me complete some paperwork. She brought up how trashy it is when black women would go out in public in bonnets. This caught me off guard, as I grew up on a majority black neighborhood and so did she. I told her I didn’t have a problem with that, but I asked her why she did. She told me that it looks bad and lazy and makes them look trashy. I knew that arguing wouldn’t end well, so I tried to end the conversation and change it to something else. She then started complaining how they looked like bunch of trashy….(N words).
I told her that she shouldn’t say that because she was white, however she justified her saying the word because she has mixed kids. I told her that that doesn’t justify anything, and that she was racist for using that word. She then started arguing with me that she was justified for saying it for having baby daddies that are black and that she has black kids, and therefore she should say this. I argued back that that doesn’t mean anything and that she’s not black.
We argued back and forth and then she had to leave to cook dinner for her kids. Its been a month and she hasn’t came over. When we have spoken over the phone, it was usually for business or when I need something from her. I’m starting to wonder if I was too harsh, however I still believe that she shouldn’t say the n word, under no circumstances.
So, AITA?
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> I called out my mom for using the n word when she is white and I yelled at her for using it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA.
Your mom is wrong, plain and simple.
NTA. Having mixed kids doesn’t mean earned the right to insult people with the N word.
NtA but she is absolutely a racist
How shitty a feeling it’ll be for those children to grow up in a house where their own mother thinks it’s okay to degrade them for their color.
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I think your Mom is woefully mistaken.
Next time she says it, just say, “Mom, I don’t want to hear you swearing please.” And leave it at that. You don’t have to argue, you both already did. Just ask her nicely and hopefully she’ll stop. You don’t want to completely cut off your Mom, but you also don’t want to just let it slide either. It’s not right.
NTA. You did the right thing to bring it up in a private setting, instead of embarrassing her in public. You did well. See something, say something.
Mom doesn’t have the right to use racist language in her community, with her kids, or even singing along to a rap song that uses the “n” word.
The worst part is that your stepsiblings are hearing this language from their own mother.
This seems to be a theme tonight. You told your mother it bothered you. She went off on an entitled tangent. NTA for telling her what you thought of that.
NTA, this is racist
Obvious NTA. Your poor siblings, having to hear this language…
Let me guess, she’s never gone on a rant about a white person wearing pajama pants out in public?
NTA. I’m worried that her kids are exposed to that.
NTA and I don’t understand the logic that because you have biracial children it’s acceptable to use slurs which directly affect them. Surely having biracial children should mean you make more effort to not be racist.
I don’t understand why you’re even questioning this. Obviously NTA
NTA. Keep calling her out. You’re doing the right thing.
It’s not even about her “right” to say any word she wants. It’s the fact that she, as a non-black person, has any desire to say THAT specific word, for any reason, which is atrocious. Plenty of people live our entire lives without wanting to use racist slurs. That she has black kids makes it even more disturbing- what are they hearing behind closed doors.?