So, I (22F) live with two roommates (one 22F, the other 23F), and we’ve had some tension lately. I’ve always been a private person, so I make it a point to keep my room door closed when I’m not there. The trouble started a few weeks ago when one of my roommates, let’s call her Rachel, started borrowing my things without asking. I don’t mind sharing occasionally, but Rachel would take stuff without telling me, and when I confronted her about it, she’d either deny it or get defensive.
After a couple of weeks of this, I decided to check with our landlord to make sure it was okay to put a lock on my bedroom door. He said it was fine as long as it wasn’t an issue with the door frame, so I went ahead and installed it. I felt like it was the only way to keep my things safe, especially after I noticed some of my personal items were moved or misplaced.
Fast forward to a few days ago, I came home from work and noticed that the door to my room was wide open. Immediately, I got this sinking feeling. My laptop, which I had left on my desk, was missing, as well as my Nintendo switch. I called Rachel and my other roommate, and asked if they had been in my room. Rachel acted surprised but also defensive, and the just seemed concerned, asking if everything was okay.
I was furious. I knew that the only way my door would be open was if someone had broken in, and at this point, I was pretty sure I knew who it was. I went into my room and searched for my laptop and switch, but they were gone. After some back-and-forth with Rachel, I realised that she had taken them without permission. When I confronted her, she admitted to borrowing them for “a few days” but didn’t think it was a big deal.
At that point, I was beyond frustrated. I told Rachel that I didn’t appreciate her violating my privacy, and I was done trying to sort things out on my own. I called the police to report that my property had been stolen and that I felt unsafe in my own home.
The police showed up, and after hearing my side of things and talking to Rachel, they advised her to return the laptop and switch and apologised for the inconvenience. The laptop was returned but the switch wasn’t, and she claimed that she “didn’t know I owned a switch.” She seemed to think I was overreacting, and some of my friends have also been saying that I might have taken things too far by involving the cops.
Now, I’m feeling conflicted. I honestly didn’t expect things to escalate this much, but I felt like I had no choice. I’m just so tired of being taken advantage of in my own home. But at the same time, I feel bad because now things are super awkward with Rachel, and the police involvement might have been too dramatic.
So, AITA for calling the police on my roommate after she went into my room without permission and took my devices?
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So, I (22F) live with two roommates (one 22F, the other 23F), and we’ve had some tension lately. I’ve always been a private person, so I make it a point to keep my room door closed when I’m not there. The trouble started a few weeks ago when one of my roommates, let’s call her Rachel, started borrowing my things without asking. I don’t mind sharing occasionally, but Rachel would take stuff without telling me, and when I confronted her about it, she’d either deny it or get defensive.
After a couple of weeks of this, I decided to check with our landlord to make sure it was okay to put a lock on my bedroom door. He said it was fine as long as it wasn’t an issue with the door frame, so I went ahead and installed it. I felt like it was the only way to keep my things safe, especially after I noticed some of my personal items were moved or misplaced.
Fast forward to a few days ago, I came home from work and noticed that the door to my room was wide open. Immediately, I got this sinking feeling. My laptop, which I had left on my desk, was missing, as well as my Nintendo switch. I called Rachel and my other roommate, and asked if they had been in my room. Rachel acted surprised but also defensive, and the just seemed concerned, asking if everything was okay.
I was furious. I knew that the only way my door would be open was if someone had broken in, and at this point, I was pretty sure I knew who it was. I went into my room and searched for my laptop and switch, but they were gone. After some back-and-forth with Rachel, I realised that she had taken them without permission. When I confronted her, she admitted to borrowing them for “a few days” but didn’t think it was a big deal.
At that point, I was beyond frustrated. I told Rachel that I didn’t appreciate her violating my privacy, and I was done trying to sort things out on my own. I called the police to report that my property had been stolen and that I felt unsafe in my own home.
The police showed up, and after hearing my side of things and talking to Rachel, they advised her to return the laptop and switch and apologised for the inconvenience. The laptop was returned but the switch wasn’t, and she claimed that she “didn’t know I owned a switch.” She seemed to think I was overreacting, and some of my friends have also been saying that I might have taken things too far by involving the cops.
Now, I’m feeling conflicted. I honestly didn’t expect things to escalate this much, but I felt like I had no choice. I’m just so tired of being taken advantage of in my own home. But at the same time, I feel bad because now things are super awkward with Rachel, and the police involvement might have been too dramatic.
So, AITA for calling the police on my roommate after she went into my room without permission and took my devices?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I could be due to the reaction from my friends, it has made me question whether I made the right decision or not 🙁
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA! This girl has a perpetual problem of taking/stealing your belongings. She has been doing it despite all the measures you have taken. You are definitely not wrong, neither are you overreacting.
Info – Does she also do the same with your other roommate?
NTA, she straight-up burgled you. If that Switch doesn’t turn up immediately, you need to get yourself down to the station and make sure they do file a report. This ain’t just some petty flatmate drama, she broke in and nicked your stuff.
If she’s getting away with this, what’s stopping her from doing it again? Nah, she’s taking the piss. Get your Switch back and seriously reconsider living with her.
NTA. She needs to be ejected from the household and held accountable. Police involvement is not dramatic if that’s the only way she’ll learn (that, and being tossed from the house).
Call the landlord. Read your lease. One of you needs to leave ASAP.
You’re not safe there.
Have you checked her room (with the other roommate present?) If the Switch isn’t there, I’m guessing she sold it. I would not feel safe with a roommate like that.
If you can’t get her to move out, it’s time to move out yourself. Frankly, how on earth does she justify breaking into your room? It’s insane.
Until one or the other of you moves out, consider hiding a web cam in your room so at least if anything else goes missing, you’ll have proof. And it sounds like you need a better lock on your door. I wonder if she would have repaired the door frame if she’d damaged it to get in?
Personally I don’t think you took it far enough. Your other roommate may have your switch. Ask her if she has it but if she denies she does go file a police report for the theft. Then call pawn shops in the area to see if anyone has sold them your switch.
You also need a better lock on your door.
NTA
ETA: Rachel may have broken your switch by accident too, which is why she didn’t give it back.
NTA. Anyone who thinks you didn’t handle it correctly has to get your switch back.
I’m sure they have a magic way that will work without cops /s
NTA – have the police come back and file a theft report for the switch
NTA, Rachel is a thief. She did not have your permission to break into your room and take your items. It is time to find new roommates or move out. Also, tell her to return the Switch or pay for it.
NTA. Press charges for the switch
NTA, things are super awkward with Rachel BECAUSE SHE IS TAKING AND USING THINGS THAT AREN’T HERS AND DOESN’T HAVE UNDERSTANDING OF PRIVATE PROPERTY. Your room is not shared space or communal property. If your Switch isn’t returned, keep the report as stolen and check if the serial number can be traced in a different way. I would also consider looking for alternative accommodation, since you are valid in not feeling safe in your own home.
This is not over, you need to loop the landlord in ASAP and get eviction processes going, as well as file a police report for the forced entry and stolen Switch. Consider your relationship with her over (and consider that your other roommate may have the Switch and be just as bad.) You can’t be forced to live with criminals, you are the victim of a serious crime. Get it on the record. Forcing the lock into your room is beyond the pale and needs to have serious consequences. Don’t let it end here.
Updateme
NTA. You did the right thing.
NTA, and I do not know your financial situation, but once the police are called it’s time for other living arrangements