So, for context, I (m26) had a bad childhood, my father is a strong alcoholic, my mother a narcissist. My mother has always been abusive towards me, both physically and mentally. I did some bad things in my youth, for which I went to juvenile. I turned my life around, stop doing drugs and drinking and got an apprenticeship which I am about to attend.
For that, I need some documents. I sent out a letter to them, requesting them in a polite manner, telling them I don’t want to have any contact after. They refused to and started insulting me and my now girlfriend.
Then they blocked me, making obtaining said documents a real pain and potentially risking my apprenticeship.
My younger brother (16) currently lives with them. I haven’t seen him since 3 or 4 years, I cant remember exactly.
I don’t know if it’s my “justice sense” or just revenge, but I sent out multiple emails to the youth wellfare office, my brothers school, etc. talking about how my life has been with my parents and I fear, that they do the same to my brother. They will now investigate this matter. This is all in Germany, and they take that kind of stuff very seriously.
So, should I have done this? Or maybe sooner? I actually don’t know.
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So, for context, I (m26) had a bad childhood, my father is a strong alcoholic, my mother a narcissist. My mother has always been abusive towards me, both physically and mentally. I did some bad things in my youth, for which I went to juvenile. I turned my life around, stop doing drugs and drinking and got an apprenticeship which I am about to attend.
For that, I need some documents. I sent out a letter to them, requesting them in a polite manner, telling them I don’t want to have any contact after. They refused to and started insulting me and my now girlfriend.
Then they blocked me, making obtaining said documents a real pain and potentially risking my apprenticeship.
My younger brother (16) currently lives with them. I haven’t seen him since 3 or 4 years, I cant remember exactly.
I don’t know if it’s my “justice sense” or just revenge, but I sent out multiple emails to the youth wellfare office, my brothers school, etc. talking about how my life has been with my parents and I fear, that they do the same to my brother. They will now investigate this matter. This is all in Germany, and they take that kind of stuff very seriously.
So, should I have done this? Or maybe sooner? I actually don’t know.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I reported my parents to the youth wellfare office and I think it might seem “evil”, kinda like revenge or a wrong sense of justice.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Overall, you’re NTA. But there are some questionble things. If you’re truely concerned about your brother’s welfare, you should have done this sooner. Waiting until you had a reason that made it convenient for you is quite selfish.
I would concentrate on getting your documents without their help. Get in touch with whatever office you need. Go in person, if necessary. You should have done that at 18, so you wouldn’t be dependent on them.
I suspect you make it less likely they will help you, by bringing up the past disagreements. That probably made them resentful and less likely to comply with your request. I would have said nothing about the past. But now that you’ve already offended them. Concentrate on getting the documents you need. Not on getting even with them.
YTA. It is clearly just revenge. You didn’t gave a sh1t about your little brother in the last 3-4 years. You are just using him now to piss of your parents. Talk to the police and tell them that your parents are witholding your docoments and if there is anything you can do. Or go to the magistrat to get new ones (yeah it will cost something)