Basically my driving instructor gave me a calendar where lessons will vary in date and time, one day may be Tuesday at 2:00 and another may be Sunday at 6:15. I’ve just finished school and am working two part time jobs, both these jobs work on a two week routa which changes so I don’t work at a particular day and time every week. I’ve had to cancel a couple of lessons because of these scheduling conflicts and he called me up today about me cancelling them.
I tried to explain to him that without a regular date and time it’s hard to schedule them into my week I can’t just reject shifts every week because of a randomly placed driving lesson. If I had a regular day and time every week I could tell work I couldn’t work at that time and day but he won’t so it’s not like I can schedule them in easily. It got to the point where my mum took the phone off me and talked to him because she didn’t like the way he was talking to me and called it bullying behaviour.
As someone with anxiety I kind of try and see the best in people’s behaviour and can’t rlly stand up for myself. This sounds kind of pathetic but I was crying by the end of it because I don’t like confrontation.
For the next month on the schedule I have a regular time and day that suits me but after that it changes to being a bit erratic again. Most people I know have a regular day and time with their driving instructor surely what I’m asking for is not that demanding??
I block booked ten lessons and when my mum said if it’s too much trouble I could just get a refund and go somewhere else but he said he’s already booked them in- she just wants to try and cancel them. We’ve talked to him but it doesn’t really look like much is going to change but I feel like in this situation he just sees me as a nightmare student. Am I the asshole?
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Basically my driving instructor gave me a calendar where lessons will vary in date and time, one day may be Tuesday at 2:00 and another may be Sunday at 6:15. I’ve just finished school and am working two part time jobs, both these jobs work on a two week routa which changes so I don’t work at a particular day and time every week. I’ve had to cancel a couple of lessons because of these scheduling conflicts and he called me up today about me cancelling them.
I tried to explain to him that without a regular date and time it’s hard to schedule them into my week I can’t just reject shifts every week because of a randomly placed driving lesson. If I had a regular day and time every week I could tell work I couldn’t work at that time and day but he won’t so it’s not like I can schedule them in easily. It got to the point where my mum took the phone off me and talked to him because she didn’t like the way he was talking to me and called it bullying behaviour.
As someone with anxiety I kind of try and see the best in people’s behaviour and can’t rlly stand up for myself. This sounds kind of pathetic but I was crying by the end of it because I don’t like confrontation.
For the next month on the schedule I have a regular time and day that suits me but after that it changes to being a bit erratic again. Most people I know have a regular day and time with their driving instructor surely what I’m asking for is not that demanding??
I block booked ten lessons and when my mum said if it’s too much trouble I could just get a refund and go somewhere else but he said he’s already booked them in- she just wants to try and cancel them. We’ve talked to him but it doesn’t really look like much is going to change but I feel like in this situation he just sees me as a nightmare student. Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I cancelled driving lessons, because my instructor won’t give me a regular day and time every week so I can’t schedule them in with work
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Oh no, how dare you want a predictable schedule like 90% of learners. The audacity.
If he can’t accommodate basic structure, maybe he shouldn’t be taking block bookings
NTA but next time it might be worth checking with new instructors that they have the capability to commit to a specific day/time each week before you book in any lessons with them. A lot of instructors are still super busy after COVID so this might not be possible for all of them, but the majority should be able to commit to something regular that fits in your schedule.
NTA It’s almost like he forgot that you are paying him for a service. You are not asking for anything unreasonable. Follow your mum’s lead.
With tricky situations like this, it helps to have them on speaker when your mum deals with it so you can hear the conversation. Then next time you have the conversation on speakerphone with her there to help. Then the next time you have the conversation by yourself.
You can also organize with your mum to have a script with a few options. Like you will say x if he says y. You will say B if he says C etc.
This is how I teach my junior colleagues to speak with clients. A lot of young people have anxiety about speaking on the phone.
ESH – If you’re paying for a service and you’d like a regular date and time, that’s a reasonable ask.
However, if you block book multiple lessons before asking the instructor whether this is doable, then it’s kind of on you. A lot of driving instructors become driving instructors so they can fit their work around their own difficult schedules. Plus he’s got all the other shifting and changing schedules of the other students to contend with. If you need a regular date and time I’d suggest seeing if you can get a refund for the remaining lessons. But even if you can’t, take the hit and find an instructor who can accommodate your request before paying up front.
The instructor should be more accommodating. Regular scheduling is reasonable, given your work demands.
NTA. Cancel and find an instructor that better suits your needs.
NTA, you are paying for this service. If it doesn’t fit for you, then you are within reason to cancel.
NTA. Are you sure this guy is a professional driving instructor that is certified to do this? I would think if this was his full time job, having a regular schedule to accommodate you should be no problem.
The fact that his schedule is all over the place, would lead me to believe that this is just some dude, who also works multiple jobs and is just trying to do this as a hustle for some side money. Idk if I’d trust this guy. Regardless, I think you have every right to find a different instructor if this isn’t working out.
NTA.
He’s a driving instructor. He must deal with people your age all the time. And most people your age have chaotic schedules because of exams and part-time jobs.
You have explained your situation. He has gone ahead and scheduled you at random times even though he is aware you may have to cancel if your job rota changes. This means he has accepted your situation. To be clear, he knew what he was getting into. If he couldn’t handle your schedule, he should have said, “sorry, but I can only accept students who can meet at these times.”
He clearly doesn’t want to give you a refund. So it will be stressful to get your money back. My advice is to take the 10 lessons you have already booked with him and then re-evaluate the situation (i.e., whether you want to find a new instructor).
Don’t worry. It’s completely normal for driving instructors to have to deal with rescheduling (either their own schedules or their students’). You are not doing anything unusual or wrong.
I also wouldn’t worry about the anxiety. It’s pretty common among younger people because younger people don’t have enough life experience to realize how normal they are. You will relax as you get older and get more practice in dealing with people. Good luck.
Yeah, for some reason driver instructors are a group of people who forget that their students are paying customers and that they should accomodate to their customer like every other service professional.
You are not the asshole here lol.