I (F18) graduated high school recently, and for the past two years, I’ve been working my butt off at my part-time job saving every penny for a dream trip this summer. It’s a three-week backpacking tour through Europe that I planned entirely myself – hostels, trains, specific places I want to visit based on my art history interest. My parents agreed to pay for half of the flights as a graduation gift, which was a huge help, but everything else is coming out of my own savings. I’ve been so excited, meticulously planning every detail.
The trip is just under a month away. Yesterday, I was talking to my mom (F40s) about packing, and she casually mentioned, “Oh, I already bought Mark’s flight, too.”
I completely froze. “Mark? Who’s Mark?”
She looked surprised. “Your cousin, Mark (M17)! He’s always wanted to go to Europe. Your aunt and uncle thought it would be a good experience for him, and since you’re going, it just made sense for him to join you. He’s so excited!”
My cousin Mark is… a lot. He’s my aunt’s golden child, spoiled, incredibly loud, immature for his age, and just generally obnoxious. He has absolutely zero interest in anything I’m planning (history, art, quiet cafes). He’s the type who only cares about TikTok trends, fast food, and complaining if something isn’t exactly how he wants it. We have never, ever traveled well together, even on short family vacations. I specifically designed this trip to be solo backpacking, with the freedom to explore at my own pace. The idea of him tagging along for three weeks fills me with dread. It would completely ruin the experience I’ve been dreaming of and saving for.
I told my mom there was no way that was happening. This is my trip, my money, my plans, and I was planning on going alone or maybe meeting up with my friends for a few days. I told her inviting him without telling me was a massive overstep and completely unacceptable.
My mom got really defensive. She said I was being selfish, not a “team player,” and that it’s a “family trip” now. She said I should be grateful she helped with the flights and that I was “robbing Mark of a life-changing experience.” She even tried to guilt-trip me by saying it would be “safer” with him there, even though I’ve done extensive research on solo female travel safety.
I got so upset that I told her if Mark is coming, I’m cancelling the entire trip. She scoffed and said I was being dramatic and wouldn’t really do it. But I’m serious. I’ve already looked into getting partial refunds on some of my bookings.
Now my mom is furious, Mark’s parents are upset with me, and Mark is apparently crying because his “dream trip” is ruined. My dad thinks my mom was wrong to invite him without asking me, but he’s begging me not to cancel because of the money involved and how upset everyone is.
WIBTA if I actually cancel my trip because my mom pulled this stunt?
Comments
To be clear, there is no reason you need to cancel your trip or share your accommodations. You can simply go on the trip by yourself. 🙂
NTA but your mom sure is.
NTA
She absolutely overstepped. If she’s upset? Too bad. If his parents are upset? Also too bad. They can go with him, and STFU
You can go and just not hang out with him. There’s no rule that says yall have to be together.
Nta
NTA – There might not be a large gap in your ages but he’s a minor and you’re an adult, this would be babysitting not a holiday. I also strongly suspect that your Mother knew that you wouldn’t want this and deliberately avoided telling you until after she’d booked in an attempt to force you to take Mark.
People shouldn’t be upset with you, they should be upset with your Mother. Either go without Mark if that’s possible or get what refunds you can and try to replan without your Mother’s involvement.
NTA. Why did your mother do this?
NTA. Why cancel your trip though? Just ignore him and don’t allow him to stay with you.
Oh dear. Your mom was setting you guys up as a “cousinly” romance. This is right out of James Austin!
This is so incredibly obviously AI written.
Copyleaks: “AI Content Found. Percentage of text that may be AI-generated: 100%””
Why would your aunt and uncle be okay with sending their minor son overseas without them? And if he does something stupid, you know they’ll blame you. Nta
NTA. Go on the trip and dump his butt at the airport. Your mom was the one that invited him not you. Leave him there and enjoy yourself.
Go on the trip and leave Mark in the dust. Make it absolutely clear that this is a solo trip and if they choose to sign Mark up for a Solo trip of his own then it is on their hands. Don’t share your itinerary, bookings, destinations with your mom, Mark or his parents.
It’s simple go on the trip and ditch him.
So Mark is.getting flights… ok… and?
Keep your iternary close to your chest, and since activities and lodging seems to be paid by you, how could he crash on your reserved single booking…
Make a point of checking each of your lodging to ensure it’s either single occupancy or single sex… as for where he stays, and what he does… I suggest you introduce him to the nearest bar (depending on region of Europe drinking age is 16) and wish him good travels…
Since he’s not staying with you, why the he’ll would you even see him once you left the airport?
But NTA… point out getting lodging this late is very hard, and since all yours is single… either they pay you for yours (and you rebook or get refunds for what you can’t) or they find him his own… because you are not paying for him.
No, you wouldn’t. For your mom to do this is completely unacceptable.
NTA, but cancelling the trip is like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Just go on the trip, but go by yourself. Even if you’re on the same plane together, you don’t have to travel with him. Is there a possibility of your parents pulling their half of the funding? If so, you may have to retool your plans.
Cancel the flight, buy your own flight. Tell others you have booked a different locarion and wont be telling anyone where you are going til you are there, then just do your trip anyway.
Not at all(I’m just responding off the headline).
I have a coworker who is a super nice lady. That is her only good quality. She is one of the dumber people I have met. I legitimately get upset when I have to work alongside her.
Cancel. Your mom was wrong to invite your cousin without discussing it with you first. How can she expect him to go when he doesn’t have any accomplishments planned. He can’t just show up and expect a room. Updateme
NTA. Would it be possible for you to go, and just ignore him? Don’t give him any info about hostels, trains, etc.
Update me.
NTA. Go and ditch the shit show.
UpdateMe
NTA. But go and ditch him.
NTA. Mark can go on his own when he turns 18. Your mother overstepped big time.
NTA. It’s your trip, not a family group tour. Mom overstepped hard, cancel if it means keeping your peace.
Just rebook the trip a little shorter, less your mom’s money, and then just go. Call her when you’re boarding.
Of course you would be the AH if you cancelled.
But sometimes, you have to be an AH.
This is one of those times.
Just land and leave him
Instead of canceling your trip, find a way to pay for everything yourself and don’t tell them until you’ve left on the trip. Your mother way overstepped, possibly because she’s secretly worried about you going alone. But it was incredibly wrong of her as you won’t get a vacation but will be babysitting a cousin. Even if you have to shorten the trip by a week so you can take care of the flights, reschedule so it’s all your money.
Sit down with your mom and tell her this trip was about your independence as an adult, you’ll be paying for it all yourself now, and you’re not babysitting your cousin. If his parents went him to take a trip, they should take him. Draw a boundary here about your adulthood. She won’t like it, but it might help in the future.
NTA- but just go without him. How rude of your mother. He can go alone, too!
NTA!!! Don’t let Mark ruin your trip. Simply get on your flight and go. Don’t tell him where you’re going or qill be staying or anymore of your itinerary. I would move any places you’ve shared qith your mother to other accommodations and ghost him.
Just split at the airport. Let him know you will not be his travel agent so he needs to make his plans.
NTA. Fly over with him and dump him. Yout reservations ate for one. He probably won’t be able to get the same. I would tell anyone where you’re staying.
NTA. All you have to do is switch your flight and don’t let him know where you’re staying.
Why should you have to babysit your cousin on your trip?
If he wouldn’t do the trip alone, he shouldn’t go.
NTA. If your mom wants Mark to go so bad, then she should take him.
I don’t know if canceling the entire trip is necessary, though. You might be able to reschedule the day you fly on and just vanish. Let your family believe you canceled it, and then just dont.
NTA but don’t let them ruin it for you. You paid for everything yourself besides half the flight cost why should you miss out cuz your mom and cousin suck? Hotels, activities, trains etc are all you. They can’t force you to share your room or do things with him. Go on your trip and ignore everyone else. They’ll get over it. I took a similar trip around Europe and it was the best decision I ever made and some of my most cherished memories! You’ll regret not going. Tell the family if they try to force you to take him you’ll leave him at the airport. “This is not up for discussion. I am going alone like I planned and will not accept any trip crashers. If you guys wanna cause drama about that then it’s on you not me. No one told you to invite a brat without asking me. It’s your own fault.” If they still wanna cause a scene just block them until after your trip.
Jesus I’m sorry your family sucks and your dad is spineless.
That is absolutely awful.
Don’t go
There are comments saying not to cancel and to go and just ignore the cousin. I disagree. This is an opportunity to establish boundaries with your parents. Your mom needs to understand that you’re 18 and she can’t make decisions on your behalf anymore. Cancelling WILL set a clear boundary for the future.
As for Mark…. if this is his dream trip why hasn’t he done any of the planning? Fuck him
UpdateMe!
NTA, but if you want to be really petty, cancel everything quietly or wait until last minute before telling them. They surprised you, no reason you can’t surprise them back.
Also, for the next few decades make sure to constantly bring up the story about how your mother ruined your graduation trip because she and your aunt wanted to get that brat Mark off their hands for a few weeks. All three of them deserve to hear about that for years.
NTA but go ahead and cancel that flight until you can pay for it all yourself. A dream trip that’s slightly delayed is 1000x better than a dream trip that’s ruined by bad vibes.
Your mom is a psycho, unfortunately. Postpone the trip until you can afford your own tickets.
This is going to get downvoted like crazy, but here goes: NAH. The reason I say this is because, as a parent, I think I know where your parents are coming from. An 18yo, especially an 18yo female, going to foreign countries to backpack and stay in hostels by herself seems very risky (well, at least in the mind of a worrisome parent). “Mark” has been sent along to accompany you so that you are not alone. I know this sucks for you, and I do not blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. However, parents are gonna parent, and as much as it may annoy you, we worry. We love you. We want you to be SAFE above all else.
Entitled men make any trip horrible. It makes it dangerous if you are a woman traveling with them.
Nta but I definitely wouldn’t cancel anything!!! Go! Enjoy your trip and tell them that mark will not be allowed to piggyback off you or your accommodations
NTA but just change your itinerary a little, maybe leave a day early or later
I would make the trip, but I wouldn’t take him with you. You’re not responsible for him and I wouldn’t tell them when you leave. It’s not your responsibility to watch their under age child
NTA –
Can you ditch him in the airport? Lol
Imagine him landing, going into the men’s room, and you haul ass
Just tell your family that you are not comfortable being legally responsible for the health and safety of a child while traveling through numerous countries on another continent. Tell your mom that it is incredibly selfish to dictate how another person receives and uses a gift. So, she is being incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.
And charge your mother the money you lost.
And when she gets defensive tell her “You have a choice, pay the difference or cancel Mark’s trip so I can still go.”
I would not cancel my plans. Go. Follow your plans. Let him either keep up or get behind and do his own thing.
Update me
Cancel. You can plan another wonderful trip for yourself at some point in the future. Without telling your family your plans until you are leaving with a suitcase Your mom is awful for doing that to you. You don’t work as hard as you have for the family to saddle you with Mark. Your dad still wants you to go, but would it be any good with your cousin along? Tell your mom she really let you down by doing this and ruining this for you.
I’d just go do my own thing. She seems to think it’s like traveling in America where you can just add an extra person to your room for free. You can’t. Especially not a hostel. Is he paying for his own accommodations? How does he even know where you’re going?
Just go and don’t engage. Switch hotels, especially for day 1. Move your seat somewhere else on the plane. Make sure your aunt knows you definitely aren’t babysitting your cousin so they should make him accommodations based on that. Make sure they haven’t signed something on your behalf saying you’re in charge of him. And go. You risk losing financial support from your parents either way. Which is the risk you take if they are paying for college or your housing etc. it means you’re not really independent from them yet. Determine if it’s worth the risk. Maybe see if they will pay more for this vacation and add an extra week or two for just yourself if worrying about losing financial support is a concern
NTA but go. Refuse to let him tag along once you reach there.
I’d put it like this: he can fly with me, then he’s on his own for the 3 weeks and we meet back up at the airport. Your parents aren’t paying for any of that, so I’d hope your dad would back you on that.
It’s your “dream trip” not Mark’s. It sounds like your entire family is insane. Tell them to pull Mark’s ticket, or you’re cancelling.
You have all the power here. Take it.
NTA I would just pay the money to change your flight and not tell anybody when you’re leaving. Adjust your places to stay and again don’t tell anybody.
NTA and start right now in doing what you say you’ll do. If they don’t back down, cancel the trip. Every time you let them roll right over you, it gets easier for them to do it again. It also gets easier for you to LET them keep doing it. Don’t even start down that road.
I read a very similar version of this but it was a sister…
Tell your parents that’s fine Mark can take the flight there. But once you get there he’s on his own. Go ahead with your plans. Leave him at the airport. Mark can figure out where to stay and what he is going to do.
“If Mark wants to tag along, that’s on him. But I’m doing my thing on my schedule in my places.”
NTA
DO NOT cancel anything! Why should your trip suffer?? Just don’t tell anyone where you’ll be.
Stand your ground. If you cave in here, you will be expected to just do their bidding.
yta, for derivative fiction
Tell her you canceled, but go anyways
say sure and go. You aren’t his babysitter so you go do your thing and leave him on his own. he is a big boy . leaving him in his TicTok glory at the airport when you get off the plane is on him.. he can do his dream trip all by himself right?
NTA you could have a conversation with Mark though. Tell him you planned a solo trip for yourself, doing things you wanted to do and you have no interest in changing it to a trip for two.
I would also say that it was a complete surprise to you when your mother pulled this stunt of inviting him.
If he wants to go, fine. You’ll fly to Europe on the same flight and you will meet at the airport for the flight home and not see each other in between except by chance.
If he is ok with that, and starts doing his own research and budgeting, great.
Otherwise you should see if you can change your flight to a day earlier and don’t tell anyone you’ve done it.
NTA. Get your tickets. Change your flight. Just leave. Your mother has a heck of a nerve trying this. Why would she do this?? Is she really that clueless?
Tell your mom. If she loves Mark so much. She can take him.
NTA. Keep your money where she cannot touch it. Then go on your trip when you turn 18.
Has he got a passport? Sounds fake. If true, then do ur thing. U cannot b forced to b responsible for ur cousin.
They want space and you to babysit him.
I would just tell my mum that in future you won’t be telling her about any plans you have a clearly she doesn’t respect you as an individual not an adult.
Nta
Mark is not your responsibility. Im not sure why your only option was to cancel. Tell them youre still going but are not responsible for Mark and will not be soending time with him if they foolishly decide to put him on a flight.
NTA
As a matter of fact, don’t cancel the trip BUT rather move the trip either a few days before or after. Don’t tell anyone and just leave.
As for your aunt/uncle/cousin, it’s high time someone told them that them that Mark is hard to get along with and state your reasons. They don’t have to agree or like it. It’s your truth and that’s what matters.
DO NOT FOLD GIRL!! 10 toes down.
NTA I’m sorry to say but with people like that in your life, might be best to start putting that money aside for Moving Out.
He’s 17, that’s an unaccompanied minor flying internationally. You would have to act as his guardian for him to go. Just tell your family you refuse to be responsible for him and if he tries to get on the flight you will deny being his guardian.
By the way, you know your mom picked him on purpose because he’s a boy and doesn’t think you will be safe as a girl travelling alone. She will continue to push you until she cracks and admits she invited him because she doesn’t want you to travel alone.
Just ditch him once you get there!
Take Mark through the first flight, then say Bye! Make him a res at a different hostel and move on. Change up your itinerary as much as you can. If he has issues point him to an embassy. It’s ridiculous when parents act as if cousins are automatically good companions. It’s that or Mark’s mom and dad subsidize your whole trip plus add on for babysitting their son… and I mean cash up front.
Maybe your mom can take Mark to Europe for 3 weeks
Change the first part of your trip and let them know it but don’t tell them where. Let your Mom know what she did was irresponsible because it places a burden on you to be in charge of a minor and it was absolutely over stepping your plans without consulting you. This way they can’t blab to your cousin on where you are going. Someone else will have to figure it out what to do with him and his plans. It’s not your responsibility! NTA
Tell your dad to work it out that you can go by yourself. Or tell the family he’s not tagging along with you and keep your plans and don’t allow the cousin to join your travels.
Mom doesn’t want you alone. Which is understandable, but she went about this all wrong.
She should have talked about it with you. Giving you the opportunity to maybe find someone to tag along that you approve of. And if you’re dead set on doing it alone, you could have sat down and planned it and talk etc.
Not blindside you with someone you don’t even like being around for a day.
Yeah, cancel- save some more and go another time- but don’t tell anyone- until the day or two before.
nTA btw
He’s 17?
He can’t travel just with a passport. The airlines would require paperwork. Call your airlines.
Tell your dad that if he knew these plans and didn’t warn you, this is partially on him. That you will NOT be responsible for an underage individual – he’s 17! You will also not set yourself on fire to keep your father warm – he wants you to cave because otherwise he has to live with the complaints.
You tell Mark that you will send him info on planning his own solo trip when he turns 18, that YOUR dream trip involves traveling solo and your dream did not involve being the guardian of a minor..
Apologize to the aunt and uncle by saying “I’m really sorry that mom lied to you. I’m an adult and the plan all along was for this to be a solo trip coupled with meeting up with friends who do not know him at all. I do not want to babysit him or adapt my plans – some which include staying at a hostel for women only (Lie). I had no idea until mom accidentally let it slip. Perhaps if he had been involved in the dream all along… but that isn’t the case.”
Also…. you tell your mother and your relatives that if you go and see him at the airport – you will abandon him AFTER you report him to appropriate authorities as an unaccompanied, undocumented minor child.
Look over your itinerary – what places can you switch around? Flying into London and spending a few days there then moving on to Paris? Still fly into London, but go to Paris first, then double back to London. Tell your mother if she has your itinerary that you have completely changed it and you will not be sharing it with her. Give it to a trusted friend that will only share in case of emergency.
I’d still go and ditch mark as soon as you arrive and just do you own thing, mark can look after himself, my brother left home at 14 and travelled around our country solo. Time Mark stepped up and put his big boy pants on…
I’d cancel it…
NTA. You don’t need to cancel your trip. If you can change your flight, do it. If you can’t, just change one or two of your hostels. He won’t follow you that long.
In your shoes I would go. Mark could surprise you, and if he doesn’t you can just split up for the day.
Dafuq? NTA. Who are these people that they think they can crash someone else’s trip? I’m convinced that COVID is responsible for a continued shrinking of the brain, as it appears people are becoming more and more stupid.
NTA – Go on the trip and lose Mark at the airport.
You’re mom is either delusional or she’s hoping you’ll get hassled, if not jailed, while over there – your cousin’s behavior will almost guarantee it.
You are not his babysitter. If he wants to go on his “dream trip” then he needs to either learn how to behave, or go by himself.
Dear old dad should have nipped this in the bud when your mom started her planning and shenanigans. This is not a “family trip” as the rest of the family is not going, therefore, you have the right to draw a line.
Your aunt and uncle need a reality check.
NTA.
NTA I wouldn’t go with him either. Your parents wouldn’t like to go on a trip with an annoying ass hat. You don’t either, it doesn’t matter that he’s family he’s still a obstacle to your enjoyment and you shouldn’t put up with it.
One option is to tell them that you aren’t cancelling the flights, but you’re NOT spending any time with Mark. If he wants to go to Europe, he may be on the same airplanes, but you’re not sharing hotels with him or sitting next to him on the planes, or going anywhere with him. Then he can go or not, as he prefers.
Or, you can talk to him about this directly, and feel free to tell him “But OMG, Mark, we don’t even like each other! What the hell would we talk about for three weeks! So, how do we each get a solo trip out of your parents…”
NTA. You had Two options:
Sadly, for me, your mom backed you to option one when she said,”you won’t do that” um, excuse me? Wanna play chicken w me between ruining my trip or just cancelling and doing it later 100% funded on my own. Done.
Your dad sounds like a wimp, seriously stand up for your kid!!!!! Girls at 18 are more mature than boys, normal boys. He’s also a year younger, I’m not sure legal age in different countries your visiting but it could limit where you can travel.
Look at how much of your own money you’d lose. And I mean YOU. Ie if you spent 500 +500 if moms money, and get 500 back. Well, any money your mom doesn’t get back is the “interfering parent that cares more about other children than her own” tax.
And not to mention, she paid half your ticket price, for your grad present, and she paid for the entire ticket for your cousin. The one she didn’t give birth to and is already spoiled.
Sheesh.
Actually, I’d still rock number 2. Tell her yeah, you’re right I won’t cancel my dream trip because you don’t care how much I’ve put into it and look forward to it. Ditch him at the airport. Send him a text once you get away then shut off the phone.
Updateme! 2 days
Mark is 17 – underage. He wouldn’t be anele to get into places you could
NTA but still go on the trip. You’ve booked accommodations for yourself, not you and Mark. Tell your relatives you’ll not be changing anything or allowing Mark to crash your plans. Don’t share your itinerary with them either.
NTA. Don’t cancel. Just go alone and don’t allow him to come with you. You can’t stop him from flying over but you can ditch him upon arrival.
Nope. Cancel it. No need knowingly spending 3 weeks in misery. YWNBTA
Why the bleep would you care if he tags along? You don’t have to take him with you anywhere; just say good bye at the airport.
Updateme
Go and lose him first chance you get
Your mother is the AH.
Esh
Just. Don’t. Hang. Around. With. Him!!! Yes you worked your butt off but you are getting cash from your mom. Just tell him you’ll meet up with hom every few days- have dinner- but nonway are you hanging around him all the time.
Your mom is just terrible
Your aunt uncle and mark – terrible
Absolutely not! What a AH move on your Mom’s part; rude disrespect and thoughtlessness is unbelievable. Can you reschedule, without telling anyone, without losing as much money? I am so sorry they ruined your dream trip like this.
Your parents are beyond overreaching, and they must know how much your cousin is the opposite of if you and you hate traveling with him.
I would cancel the trip, save some more and go while you I college.
No way should you ruin your once in a lifetime journey of exploration.
Ditch him once yous get there
Can your father figure out how to keep the immature 17 yr old from being inflicted upon you for -your- trip? If he can help, then you absolutely should go. You have earned this trip in more than one way.
If your father can’t make this happen, and their portion of the money is pulled out, then cancel it. Cancel as a last resort.
You can hold this over the heads of your idiot mother, the immature 17 yr old and his equally idiot parents [who just want someone else to babysit the immature 17 yr old for the summer].
You can always go later after you have more money saved. It would really suck swamp water if you had to cancel. I can’t imagine how long it would take to get the other half of the money. Life gets in the way of things like this.
Go if at all possible. And tell us about it when you get back.
NTA. Say you cancelled it and go anyways
Your mom decided that she didn’t want you traipsing about Europe all unescorted. She has saddled you with an underaged and undertrained (but male) chaperone. You will be his baby sitter. He will be expected to be your mom’s informant. Put the whole thing off until you can afford to buy your own ticket. Then do NOT tell anyone that you are leaving until it’s too late for them to lumber you with a child. Shortly after the plane lands would be good.
Don’t cancel and lose money.. just leave him when you get there
No, your mom is an idiot. Or clueless. Either way, you’re NTA. Any way you can scrap up the money to cover the rest of the airfare yourself? If so, just pay them back what they contributed, tell them not to call you for those week, and hit the road.
Info, who would be paying for Mark once he’s there? Hostels, food, trains/buses are not free… could you just fly together and ditch him once you’re there? I can’t imagine he’d want to join you for everything.
So they only covered half of your flight expenses, but covered ALL of his? When this was for YOUR dream trip? The audacity of him to cry over “his dream trip”?? Oh my god. OP, I would scorch the earth. Absolutely NTA.
Your father can direct all of his frustration about the situation to your mother. This is her mess to clean up, not yours. Cancel it all. Get as many refunds as you can. Keep saving and pay for it all yourself when you can. I’ve traveled a lot and as fun and nice as it would have been right now as a graduation gift to yourself, I promise it’ll be just as if it even more fun in a year or two when you’ve gotten a little more independence under your belt.
You’re an adult now, and they need to understand they don’t get to dictate your life like that.
OP, go on this solo trip! Your mom absolutely overstepped but just tune that bullshit out. You clearly know how to save and budget to cover your flights yourself. Don’t rob yourself of this experience that you’ve worked so hard for. I promise you it will change your life! Backpacking in my early 20s was life changing. Solo backpacking as a female is relatively safe in Europe, just be smart and keep your wits about you.
If you want any solo backpacking tips, please feel free to DM me! Go on this trip I promise you’ll never regret it!!!
Tell your mom if Mark is coming she has to pay for your whole trip? Everything! Down to sunscreen. And make sure on your last night you stay in a luxury hotel. Or cancel and get all your money back from your mom. Your dad should have given you a heads up.
He can go on his own Europe trip. Why does he have tag along with you?
NTA. That’s a huge overstep. Mom only paid for half of your flights. If I have to be a babysitter on an international vacation that I was supposed to go solo for, mom had better cough up the money for my flights as well as all of my spending money. And even that might not be enough.
Stand your ground. The absolute audacity of your mother and Mark’s parents to just inform you he’s coming with!!!
NTA
I would cancel – this is no longer your “dream trip” but rather a babysitting assignment for an immature 17 year old.
Don’t cancel . Just make it clear that though you may be both on the same airplane going to and returning from your trip, you will NOT be traveling with Mark. Once you get there, he is on his own. And you are free to enjoy your dream vay-cay!
I wouldn’t cancel the trip, if he shows up when you’re leaving, ignore him. If he somehow ends up on the flight, ignore him. If you see him at your destination, ignore him. Don’t let these people ruin something you’ve worked hard for.
Do it and let him do his thing, once you land your on your own good luck, hey c-block you got 3 weeks to back at the airport for the return flight, Italy, Greece, Spain all good times
UpdateMe
NTA.
This is your trip, which you spent your money, to follow your plans.
Point blank, if your parents genuinely want you to go at this point they owe you a complete refund of all money you’ve put down on this (so you can then rebook a vacation you want at a later date). This is no longer your vacation. This is some trip that Mark is going to end up co-opting.
And quite frankly -if you let them pay your way on this trip (and Mark’s as well) then you’re going to have to deal with being a good sport about it all (so it may not even be worth it).
At the end of the day? Cancel your trip, get the money back that you’re able to, and then rebook something you actually want.
And maybe don’t clue your mom in next time.
This is a crazy violation of boundaries and your mom doesn’t seem to be acknowledging any mis-step here.
Ummm so what if he has tickets, I’m sure their not next to you. You don’t need to even have him stay with you. And probably can’t at this late date. You paid for your accommodations he’s not your responsibility let everyone know that. Also if you’ve already paid for hostels and such how is Marc supposed to stay? Those are not shared spaces unless booked at the same time. Does your mom and aunt have all of your itinerary and every place you’re staying? Did they already pay for his trains? No this isn’t even feasible if all they did was get him his flights. What a nightmare. Just go and tell them he is not your responsibility and they were not thinking when they made this irresponsible decision.
NTA does he have accommodation booked or are they expecting you to look after him. He’s a minor and you shouldn’t have to baby sit a man child during your vacation. No means no. Don’t cancel. Change flights, leave early or later than Mark, and don’t tell anyone.
I mean it’s not a family trip because all your paid for plans and accommodations are simply that Yours.
Gonna be hard for Mark to join you when he has no clue what you are doing when. Hope his parents have planned his accommodations and trip.
Nta & UpdateMe!
Not only did your mom completely overstep, but Mark is actually crying because “his dream trip is ruined?” Whose money was he gonna spend? Whose plan Was he going to work around? This whole scenario is such BS for you. I’m so sorry! no one had the right to do that, especially not your mom who should know better. I know it’s rough to cancel, but you’ll be better off. You can always reschedule it and then don’t tell them when you’re going, just go. You put a lot of work into these plans. You can always reschedule them. if you give in to family pressure and go with him now you’ll be miserable. That’s for sure. Stay strong! You are NTA at all!
Just go, and leave him at first convenient time
NTA. But please don’t cancel, find a way to go solo. You’re right, you can do it and do it safely. I’ve done it many times and plan to go many more. The best decision I ever made was going and I truly hope you find a way to go. You’re also right in that he will ruin this trip for you. I’ve gone traveling with a friend once and frankly, it almost ended a 20 year friendship because at the end of the day, she’s just like your cousin.
NTA – your mom sucks sorry. I wouldn’t cancel the trip though. I would go then promptly ditch him. Maybe he’ll learn something.