Also posted in the Charlotte Dobre subreddit.
I am on a work trip and we are leaving today (September 19th) The girls and I (Fake names Jenni and Lana for the girls names and I am just OP.) I will refer to the 3 of us together as The Girls.
Yesterday I started to get sick with a cold. I didn’t do anything, even the main activity (dinner backstage at a concert.)
It was 3 AM and I felt like poo so I changed my flight from a 7 PM flight to a noon flight. The Girls all had the same flight.
I texted Jenni and Lana at 7 AM letting them know that I changed my flight to noon so I won’t be able to go sight see and shop. They asked how to change their flights so they could come home earlier too. I sent them screenshots on how I did it and advised that I actually ended up getting business class and got $10flight credit so as long as the flight change is within our budget they won’t have an out of pocket.
Jenni texted me “I wish you would have texted us so we could have changed our flights together” as they were having issues changing their flights. I haven’t heard anything back since my last text apologizing. I hate to hurt peoples feelings so I am kinda sad rn.
AITA for not telling Jenni and Lana about the flight change I made until the AM? I didn’t want to wake them up, especially because yesterday’s itinerary was INTENSE and I know they would have been VERY tired and grumpy had I woke them up.
I’ll accept my judgement but please be nice about it.
UPDATE: THEY JUST SHOWED UP TO MY TERMINAL ON MU FLIGHT AND THEY ARE NOT TALKING TO ME.
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Backup of the post’s body: Also posted in the Charlotte Dobre subreddit.
I am on a work trip and we are leaving today (September 19th) The girls and I (Fake names Jenni and Lana for the girls names and I am just OP.) I will refer to the 3 of us together as The Girls.
Yesterday I started to get sick with a cold. I didn’t do anything, even the main activity (dinner backstage at a concert.)
It was 3 AM and I felt like poo so I changed my flight from a 7 PM flight to a noon flight. The Girls all had the same flight.
I texted Jenni and Lana at 7 AM letting them know that I changed my flight to noon so I won’t be able to go sight see and shop. They asked how to change their flights so they could come home earlier too. I sent them screenshots on how I did it and advised that I actually ended up getting business class and got $10flight credit so as long as the flight change is within our budget they won’t have an out of pocket.
Jenni texted me “I wish you would have texted us so we could have changed our flights together” as they were having issues changing their flights. I haven’t heard anything back since my last text apologizing. I hate to hurt peoples feelings so I am kinda sad rn.
AITA for not telling Jenni and Lana about the flight change I made until the AM? I didn’t want to wake them up, especially because yesterday’s itinerary was INTENSE and I know they would have been VERY tired and grumpy had I woke them up.
I’ll accept my judgement but please be nice about it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
NTA, bro. U were sick, had to do what’s best for u, simple as that. Besides, u hit ’em up 1st thing in the mornin’ w/ the deets on how to change their flights too. Plus u weren’t exactly obligated to let ’em know right away. They’re big girls. Can manage their own travel. Chill out, got your back on this one. 💯👌
Honestly, while it would have been nice to let them know sooner… messaging at 3am would not have been nice.
Given the circumstances you did the right thing. They’re just salty cause it was a pain for them to try and adjust their flight.
NTA. You handled a crappy situation considerately. Texting at 3 AM while they’re sleeping would have been an actual jerk move. You prioritized their rest and filled them in ASAP. Their comment about wishing you’d texted is just frustration talking, not a real indictment of your character. Feel better soon.
NTA. You were sick and it was 3 AM. Waking them up to coordinate a flight change for a cold isn’t reasonable. “I didn’t want to wake them up” is completely valid, especially after an intense day. You told them first thing in the morning and even helped them try to change their own flights. Their frustration is likely about the hassle, not you.
YTA because you should have been aware that you are the King Pin in the group and they would want to go home if you werent there. Also that you need to book their new flights for them because they are useless.
NTA. You advised them and honestly they’re grown women and should be able to figure it out themselves.
INFO: Had they previously expressed any interest in leaving earlier, too, or was it only once you’d informed them that you’d arranged to?
Just out of curiosity, even if it wasn’t before you changed your flight, what was the reason they ended up giving for suddenly also wanting to leave early?
NTA it’s work trip, not a girls trip. They should be able to figure out flight changes on their own
They are adults, you don’t need to hold them by the hand. NTA
NTA
Esh-ish. I mean messaging them at 7:00 a.m. is no different than messaging them at 3:00 a.m. especially considering most people have their phone on do not disturb mode until a certain time anyway at night. Although they probably don’t know what time you switched your flight unless you told them that you did it at 3:00 in the morning. Nothing stopping them from going and sightseeing until 7:00 p.m. without you. Not to mention switching at three people to an earlier flight is probably a lot harder than switching just one person because of availability.
I mean they can definitely Express their disappointment but it’s not for you to solve. You sent them the information to change their flight if they we’re able to although they probably got the information too late to be able to change their flight since it was only 3 hours before the flight anyways.
I feel like you over shared with them and that is what probably caused this problem. I feel like you probably told them that you switch your flight at 3:00 a.m. and you probably shouldn’t have done that if you messaged them at 7:00 a.m. which is 3 hours before the flight at noon. Although in this situation I probably would have just messaged them at 3:00 a.m. and told them that you weren’t feeling well so you switched your flight to noon that way if they were up or when they got up they could look into changing their flight. Although I’m the type of person that still would be up at 3:00 in the morning so there’s that.
NTA. It’s a work trip and you are leaving early because you’re getting sick. You let your coworkers know, that’s all you were obligated to do. If you were traveling together as friends in a personal trip, that would be a different story.
Tell them you are sick and stop apologizing. Shit happens. They don’t have to change their flights. Followers.
NTA, but why didn’t they want to go site seeing and shopping without you?
NTA. This is not your problem. They could change their flights. They also could’ve responded to your text at 7 AM instead of 8:30 AM. This is a work trip. It’s not like you’re on a “girls” trip. Why do you all have to be on the same flight? I think you’re smart to fly by yourself.
You’re sick. They’re adults, and they need to handle this on their own just like you did. Let it go.
You and “the girls” are co-workers, not bridesmaids heading out for the hen party. BTW, what kind of company sends teenagers on business trips? My 15 YO is really excited about getting her first job and she loves to fly. Please advise.
They were mad because they wanted you to change their flights so they wouldn’t have to do the work.
Is there a reason they want to change their flight now? You’re leaving early because you’re sick. Why are they leaving early?
I would have just explained sorry, I changed my flight in the middle of the night and texted you first thing in the morning.
NTA. This is a work trip, not a girls weekend where everything must be planned together.
Sorry, don’t know what to tell you about your actions except there was nothing wrong with what you did. How were you to know during the night they would want to leave with you.
I think that comment from Jenni was not a negative thing. She just figured it would had been easier to do together.
This is a work trip, not a vacation. You did what was reasonable. Especially given that the remaining purpose of the trip was to “sightsee and shop”.
NTA
‘I wish you had’ is a manipulative phrase and designed to make you feel bad. Forget them.
YTA. Even being sick, that’s so rude to just leave your friends and make that decision.
A text at 3am simply saying “I’m so sorry, I’m not feeling any better and am looking for earlier flights home. Here is what I found. Have so much fun on the rest of your trip” would have been called for.
I don’t know how tight you three are, but since this was a business trip I don’t see any issue. Either way, texting them so they wouldn’t worry was appropriate.
If y’all are a besties sandwich outside of work, I can see how they might have expected you to work together in the early departure. But, since you were sick and needed to leave early, you did what you had to do. It was considerate of you not to assume they’d want to leave early just because you had to.
Based on your description, NTA.
ETA: seems like you might be the leader and the other two the followers in your trio. That can be a burden and put you in a tough spot sometimes. But it’s real— try not to take it lightly.
Honestly they’re just salty they couldn’t change their flights as easy as you did
If the roles were reversed they probably would’ve done the same thing and not woken u up
If there was only one other person I might think you were the asshole a little bit just for leaving someone alone but they had eachother to travel back/sightsee with anyways so I don’t see why they are clinging to you. You were sick, you made an adult decision to take care of yourself sooner than later. NTA
You didn’t do anything wrong and realistically if you’d message them at three in the morning, they wouldn’t have seen it till they woke up anyways.
They need to put on their big girl pants and grow up
You were feeling ill and you took care of you.
NTA. It’s not like you left someone alone in a foreign country. They were still going to be together. So I don’t see what the big deal is.
NTA. You felt crappy and changed your flight. Texting them earlier than you did wouldn’t have changed anything. I wouldn’t have mentioned the business class seat just to avoid that headache but seriously all they had to do was call the airline if they wanted to change their flight.
Let’s say at 3am you start calling and calling them to inform them you will be changing your flight.
They would be royally upset and probably tell you they don’t care etc etc.
So not sure why they are upset you waited until 7 when they woke up much later around 8:30(As mentioned in a comment).
You did nothing wrong.
The only thing that might be * is saying you got a business seat and $10. I do hope you wore a mask in the airport & plane
NTA sometimes things just happen and the 2 of them can still enjoy the day together and leave at 7pm. This is a nothing burger.
They’re just cranky. Women be like that.
Text them you made changes at 3 am…and you know they wouldn’t have appreciated being woken up at that time.
Wtf? How do you even think things like this?
NTA
They seem more like frenemies than friends. Why do they need to leave early as well? Why can’t they finish up the trip as planned and catch the original flight? People are so weird.
My guess is they’d be PO’d you text them at 3 am and disturbed their sleep. Might be time to rethink the friendship
Your friends are idiots they’re not really friends their coworkers and stop connecting with them socially. They can go do their own thing, this is a job, not your sisters
You didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t want to wake them up while they slept and you let them know as soon as it was 7 am. You are sick and wanted to leave early, if they wanted to leave earlier they could have brought it up on their own. Seems like they only thought to do that when you did it.
” I don’t feel well and I changed my flights at 3 a m and didn’t want to wake you up for that.”
They sound childish and needy. Not your problem at all.
NTA. They are adults and can figure out this out on their own. You were sick and if they can’t understand that then it’s their problem even though they are trying to make it your problem.
Are you their boss? Do they not have money? Why are they mad?
NTA why does it even matter? Why didn’t they stay anyway, it’s not like they were alone?
They are severely overreacting.
Are they grown adults? /s
You told them you switched your flight. You aren’t responsible for them changing theirs.
NTA
NTA They could have stayed and shopped or whatever. They are grown ups on a business trip.
You aren’t their mom, but they are acting like children.
Are they 12? They don’t know how to change a freakin’ flight?? NTA.
I don’t understand. Why did they want to change flights? You didn’t ask them to change plans, did you? So like…wtf what are they mad about?
Do they not like eachother? I don’t understand why they couldn’t just stick to the original plan and stay on to shop and sightsee? If it’s a nice city, that sounds fun if you’re not sick. It’s not as if you were leaving one of them on their own. Also, it’s crazy to me that they changed their flights to be on the same one as you but then didn’t speak to you 🤦🏻♀️😂
“I don’t want to text you at 3pm just because I was feeling poorly. I’m
sorry, next time I will know better.”
(next time do the same thing you did this time)
They’re behaving like high Schoolers. You’re sick, you want to go home and you messaged them at 7am. You did nothing wrong.
I would confront them and ask exactly what you did wrong. You could have messaged them at 3am. You could have trudged along the next day and made the day miserable. Or, they could have enjoyed the whole day without your sick a@#se ruining their day.
NTA. When a friend texts you saying they changed their flight because they feel awful, the correct response is “Oh no, are you okay to fly by yourself? Do you need anything?” The silent treatment is childish af.
NTA. They’re mad because you didn’t wake them up at 3am to ask them if they also wanted to change their flights? That makes no sense. You texted them at 7am. You told them how to do it when they asked. They successfully changed their flights. What’s the problem? That they had to make the change themselves. They must be really immature and insecure.
Coworkers change flights all the time this is so dumb. Your coworkers are immature and not professional at all. I don’t notify anyone when I change a flight. Who cares?
NTA. You are not traveling together, just at the same time and same destination. You did not owe them any explanation, but was courteous to bow out of sightseeing plans. Beyond that, you did nothing wrong.
Feel better.
They could just stayed and shopped or whatever…They’re grown ups on a business trip
NTA it’s not your responsibility to let them know anything, a true friend would understand that you’re sick and be ok with it
It sounds like they could have carried on with their day – they had eachother? NTA. If you wanted to fly alone and weren’t leaving anyone else alone or stranded then you can do what you want.