I met a nice girl Sarah(46f) im 21f, with a toddler around my son’s age. They get along well. We went to the park a few times locally, this girl doesn’t drive so I do. I’m pretty generous, I took her and her child to Chuck E. Cheese, the trampoline park, six flags and a couple cafes on my dime. As well as, doing an amazing Easter celebration for the kids and I also got very nice Easter baskets like 300$ a basket. Yes it’s extensive and stupidly spent but the kids had fun. I don’t care about spending the money to see the kids smile. They even had a paint station, everyone made a bunny. Regardless, the point is I had paid for literally everything we had been doing the past two months.
I planned to go to a local theme park with my son and a friend of mine and Sarah calls me asking hat I’m doing for the day. I tell Sarah she can join but would have to purchase her own tickets. Sarah says of course. I pick Sarah up and tell her to get her tickets online or I have an extra season pass with a food add and drink add on for the year she can have for 200$. I originally paid 370$. It wasn’t gonna get used, I offered it to her for a discount price. Tickets would have been 150$ for her and her son so if she planned on coming back or buying food that day it was a good deal. She said of course she would take the pass. I never got my money back and when I asked her about it she told me she had bought a new pass already and didn’t want mine & said she would eventually pay me if it was that big of a deal. That was in June of this year.
I haven’t asked her or her son to go anywhere else. Me and my son go everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I feel bad because he misses his friend but I don’t appreciate being treated like that. Couple weeks later she texts me asking me to pick something up for her for 50$, well I kept the 50$
- mind you she asked me for a ride to buy a car a few weeks after she took my money as well. She has the car now. But mouse silent on the money she owed me but had the audacity to ask to for a ride two hours away.
Am I the asshole?
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I met a nice girl Sarah, with a toddler around my son’s age. They get along well. We went to the park a few times locally, this girl doesn’t drive so I do. I’m pretty generous, I took her and her child to Chuck E. Cheese, the trampoline park, six flags and a couple cafes on my dime. As well as, doing an amazing Easter celebration for the kids and I also got very nice Easter baskets like 300$ a basket. Yes it’s extensive and stupidly spent but the kids had fun. I don’t care about spending the money to see the kids smile. They even had a paint station, everyone made a bunny. Regardless, the point is I had paid for literally everything we had been doing the past two months.
I haven’t asked her or her son to go anywhere else. Me and my son go everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I feel bad because he misses his friend but I don’t appreciate being treated like that. Couple weeks later she texts me asking me to pick something up for her for 50$, well I kept the 50$ and we haven’t really talked since. Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I took her 50& that was meant to go to groceries because she took my 200$ so should I refund her or just keep my money
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Be more cautious with people. And save for college for the kids and retirement, if you aren’t already.
YTA for not setting up boundaries from the onset and having a financial discussion with her earlier.
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I think you need to take her to small claims court. You obviously aren’t dating her anymore and she definitely took advantage of you more than once so get the receipts to get a small claims get your money back.
NTA But you got played my friend.
Well, unfortunately you learned a hard lesson that cost you a lot of money. The money you want to spend on others, take that money & put it in an education fund for your kid. Rule of thumb: if you buy/lend money to anyone, don’t expect it to be returned.
NTA. Going forward please be more careful. Being generous is fine, but it can easily spiral into getting taken advantage of.