Me and my gf recently bought a small apartment, quite nice but a bit of a fixxer-upper. We’re talking needing new windows and doors, new furniture, and for the purposes of my post, taking off two layers of wallpaper and giving it a fresh coat of paint. However just before she left for a month long holiday, she found two handymen who offered to strip the wallpaper and paint the walls for just €850 (we would provide supplies), all done within a week. So my gf took off and I would supervise the work.
The wallpaper stripping went well enough, but the problems started with the painting proper. Right off the bat, they asked for an additional €200 since the wall needed some plastering. They then had to be convinced to apply the primer as per manufacturer’s instructions rather than dropping it in the paint. Despite my insistence they also barely allowed time for the primer or paint to dry, applying coat after coat without stopping. I also noticed them overthinning the paint with water.
Most annoying was, they sent me on non-stop supply-runs.
I’m still working through all this and August is my busiest month. My schedule looked like this: Friday morning shift, then afternoon running for supplies, then a 12h night shift, back Saturday buying supplies all morning, the painters break for lunch, while I’m back at the store for more caulking. Add to that general unprofessionalism, as they would argue for starting the work before our building even allowed, only to show up an hour or two late anyway.
The end result was amateurish; mostly white but with some stains bleeding in from the wallpaper’s residual glue. There’s also a real mess left to clean (by me). Overall, this is fine, since we’re going to replace the flooring and most of the furniture anyway. This work is very forgiving, and we factored that in when hiring two nobodies. Still the agreed price (+supply cost) did end up doubling.
That said I did feel like sharing my general annoyance with my girlfriend, in a “get a load of these guys” sort of vibe. She basically told me that I should complain with the painters (even though I had), that she didn’t like to feel scolded and in short not to bother her on vacation. She also implied the stains were my fault for not supervising the painters better (never mind the supply-runs prevented me).
I was quite upset at this: I wasn’t pestering her with calls, and told her most of what I wrote above in a single phone call at the end of the work. I wasn’t blaming her for picking the painters, and money wasn’t a problem either. While it doesn’t bother me to be very busy with renovations I do feel that at least I should be able to share when this is a bit tiring.
tl;dr:
My gf and I hired house painters, and I agreed to stay home to supervise them while she went on holiday for the month. Their work was bordeline fine but terribly amateurish, and I was constantly on supply-runs. When sharing this with the gf she told me to stuff it with the complaints. AITA?
Edit 1: as an update the gf did call to apologise. Plus, the painters agreed to fix the stains free of charge, and it’s looking less bad now. Hurray
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Me and my gf recently bought a small apartment, quite nice but a bit of a fixxer-upper. We’re talking needing new windows and doors, new furniture, and for the purposes of my post, taking off two layers of wallpaper and giving it a fresh coat of paint. However just before she left for a month long holiday, she found two handymen who offered to strip the wallpaper and paint the walls for just €850 (we would provide supplies), all done within a week. So my gf took off and I would supervise the work.
The wallpaper stripping went well enough, but the problems started with the painting proper. Right off the bat, they asked for an additional €200 since the wall needed some plastering. They then had to be convinced to apply the primer as per manufacturer’s instructions rather than dropping it in the paint. Despite my insistence they also barely allowed time for the primer or paint to dry, applying coat after coat without stopping. I also noticed them overthinning the paint with water.
Most annoying was, they sent me on non-stop supply-runs.
I’m still working through all this and August is my busiest month. My schedule looked like this: Friday morning shift, then afternoon running for supplies, then a 12h night shift, back Saturday buying supplies all morning, the painters break for lunch, while I’m back at the store for more caulking. Add to that general unprofessionalism, as they would argue for starting the work before our building even allowed, only to show up an hour or two late anyway.
The end result was amateurish; mostly white but with some stains bleeding in from the wallpaper’s residual glue. There’s also a real mess left to clean (by me). Overall, this is fine, since we’re going to replace the flooring and most of the furniture anyway. This work is very forgiving, and we factored that in when hiring two nobodies. Still the agreed price (+supply cost) did end up doubling.
That said I did feel like sharing my general annoyance with my girlfriend, in a “get a load of these guys” sort of vibe. She basically told me that I should complain with the painters (even though I had), that she didn’t like to feel scolded and in short not to bother her on vacation. She also implied the stains were my fault for not supervising the painters better (never mind the supply-runs prevented me).
I was quite upset at this: I wasn’t pestering her with calls, and told her most of what I wrote above in a single phone call at the end of the work. I wasn’t blaming her for picking the painters, and money wasn’t a problem either. While it doesn’t bother me to be very busy with renovations I do feel that at least I should be able to share when this is a bit tiring.
tl;dr:
My gf and I hired house painters, and I agreed to stay home to supervise them while she went on holiday for the month. Their work was bordeline fine but terribly amateurish, and I was constantly on supply-runs. When sharing this with the gf she told me to stuff it with the complaints. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> In my post I complained with my gf about the shoddy job our painters were doing, and she told me I shouldn’t bother her with any complaints while on vacation. Is my complaining Asshole behaviour?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Clearly she knows she didnt do the proper job of vetting these jokers before hiring them, just to take off and make it your problem. I think she knows she messed up and just doesnt want to hear it
NTA. She messed up and you were left dealing with it. The very, VERY least she can do is listen to you vent about it.
NTA. She hired people who weren’t qualified to handle the task, so she should know about it. Perhaps for future work done, you both discuss it and get references.
NTA; this costed money, time, effort, and more money to fix it again,,, it’s normal to be upset; maybe your delivery of your concerns got her defensive, BUT she should very much acknowledge and be accountable with the fact that she was the one who got these people to do the job (that they did not do well) :’(
I think I need more info on this one.
I think your girlfriend is irritated that you seem to have a great deal of opinions on how the work should be done, and your gf has redirected you to tell the painters about it, because there is literally nothing she can do for you while she’s away. While on vacation I definitely get more irritated when people call me to complain about things being different or hard while I’m gone — it is not often expressed as gratitude for all I handle, and almost always leans more entitled about how no one does it ‘right’ except for me. That feels very manipulative to the receiver – for me personally as if I am being pressured not to go away again because of the inconvenience to others.
Who is doing all the planning for all the renos? You don’t mention helping to source painters — your gf had to scramble to arrange it while prepping to travel, and expected you to supervise. If the painters are piss poor, you’re the only person who can manage that — and I think your complaints might be coming across as bids for your gf to step in and fix it for you.
I think you need to consider if your gf feels taken-for-granted. Her responses give me the vibe she’s irritated at being pushed to be the person to step up and fix it; but maybe that is a dynamic she has at work and it’s spilling over into her life, so idk if it’s a relationship issue or if she just really needs this vacay to decompress from a toxic situation. I don’t wanna assume you always expect her to step up and solve issues for you — I don’t have enough info to decide that from your OP.
Talk to her when she gets back – not over text or phone now. And honestly — if you can, keep the complaints to your friends for the short term. Let her vacation be relaxing and a break from real life concerns, and try to get to the root of her irritation about the discussions when she’s back.
ESH
You didn’t address the multiple issues with the painters as they arose. Instead, you let them tell you how you were to help them do their jobs.
Gf made a poor choice of workers, took off during the job, then refused to listen to you complain about the mess that she made.
On the upside, you’ve learned a valuable life lesson for less than €2000. Could have been worse.
NTA. I can tell you she took the complaining as you criticizing her choice of hire, though, because you were. (Deservedly so!) The good news is that you’re in a “fixer-upper” an you’ll both have plenty of chances to try and redeem yourselves, and I promise this won’t be the last time contractors leave you feeling disappointed, haha