I had a friend come visit from out of town for a long weekend. We’ve been friend over 20 years, and I was excited to see her.
She’s had cats in the past, but married someone who is highly allergic to almost anything with fur, so she hasn’t had any furred pets in many years (she has some reptiles). I have nurmerous cats, and she was also excited to get a weekend of kitties.
However, it became clear very quickly that she doesn’t live with cats. Leaving food unattended, putting cups on the edge of the coffee table/counter, etc, made it a very messy weekend. But whatever, right?
Then there was the dental floss.
For context here, one of my cats ate a string he pulled out of a rug several months ago, and I paid THOUSANDS to save him. Like, he should have died – not only was it a very long string, but he had numerous post-op complications. But he is my baby, and it was money well spent to me. My cat learned exactly nothing from the experience – he still LOVES string and hair ties, and I am hypervigilant about such things being left out where he can access them.
I told my friend she CANNOT throw dental floss in the bathroom trash – it has to go in the kitchen trash. The bathroom trash had a lid, but this cat is very smart and very determined. And in the event the lid doesn’t get closed, it’s essentially leaving string right at cat-height.
Well, she didn’t get the (very direct, not even a hint) hint. I kept finding floss in the bathroom trash, and twice I found it just laying on the counter, waiting to be swallowed. The first couple times, I tried to gently remind her. Then I directly told her again. When I found floss, yet again, just laying on the counter, I told her she needed to hand over her floss. I have the little floss picks she can use, but I cannot have long strings just being left around the house willy nilly. I cannot afford to have another major emergency vet surgery. I was not rude about it, and I did not yell or anything, but it was just too big a risk to keep allowing her to leave it lying about.
She complied, but after she went home her husband called me and said I was being totally put of line and treating her like a child, and that I should be more concerned with teaching my cat not to eat string. I do sort of see his point, but the reality is I tried to remind her not to do it, and it wasn’t sticking. It’s literally a safety issue in my home – one that could mean life or death. If she couldn’t manage to dispose of floss in the kitchen, then my only choice to protect my dumb ass cat is to remove the dangerous item. There is no “teaching” a cat to not use their insticts, and hunting/eating things is instinct.
AITA here? I feel like no, but the way her husband acted, I’m now not totally sure.
(And yes, I gave her floss back before she left. I’m not a floss thief)
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I had a friend come visit from out of town for a long weekend. We’ve been friend over 20 years, and I was excited to see her.
She’s had cats in the past, but married someone who is highly allergic to almost anything with fur, so she hasn’t had any furred pets in many years (she has some reptiles). I have nurmerous cats, and she was also excited to get a weekend of kitties.
However, it became clear very quickly that she doesn’t live with cats. Leaving food unattended, putting cups on the edge of the coffee table/counter, etc, made it a very messy weekend. But whatever, right?
Then there was the dental floss.
For context here, one of my cats ate a string he pulled out of a rug several months ago, and I paid THOUSANDS to save him. Like, he should have died – not only was it a very long string, but he had numerous post-op complications. But he is my baby, and it was money well spent to me. My cat learned exactly nothing from the experience – he still LOVES string and hair ties, and I am hypervigilant about such things being left out where he can access them.
I told my friend she CANNOT throw dental floss in the bathroom trash – it has to go in the kitchen trash. The bathroom trash had a lid, but this cat is very smart and very determined. And in the event the lid doesn’t get closed, it’s essentially leaving string right at cat-height.
Well, she didn’t get the (very direct, not even a hint) hint. I kept finding floss in the bathroom trash, and twice I found it just laying on the counter, waiting to be swallowed. The first couple times, I tried to gently remind her. Then I directly told her again. When I found floss, yet again, just laying on the counter, I told her she needed to hand over her floss. I have the little floss picks she can use, but I cannot have long strings just being left around the house willy nilly. I cannot afford to have another major emergency vet surgery. I was not rude about it, and I did not yell or anything, but it was just too big a risk to keep allowing her to leave it lying about.
She complied, but after she went home her husband called me and said I was being totally put of line and treating her like a child, and that I should be more concerned with teaching my cat not to eat string. I do sort of see his point, but the reality is I tried to remind her not to do it, and it wasn’t sticking. It’s literally a safety issue in my home – one that could mean life or death. If she couldn’t manage to dispose of floss in the kitchen, then my only choice to protect my dumb ass cat is to remove the dangerous item. There is no “teaching” a cat to not use their insticts, and hunting/eating things is instinct.
AITA here? I feel like no, but the way her husband acted, I’m now not totally sure.
(And yes, I gave her floss back before she left. I’m not a floss thief)
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You explained, they did not comply, you took action to safeguard life at the cost of what, the most minor of inconveniences? Your friend and her husband need to realise the world does not revolve around them.
NTA
“Don’t do things that can kill my cat” is a low bar for requests of a friend staying over.
Ask if you can give their future baby sharp knives and a hot poker from the fire in the future, or they’ll train the baby first.
NTA. If you went straight to confiscating her floss when she arrived at your house I’d say you overreacted, but you explained the issue to her and reminded her repeatedly and she didn’t listen.
Definately NTA
I’ve owned cats my entire life and just like human toddlers, they will do whatever they want whenever they want WITH whatever they want. This includes eating things that can kill them (button batteries, anyone?)
After the 2nd time you have to remind her about the floss, you should have showed her the vet bill and asked her if SHE wanted to pay the next one because your fur baby ate the floss she left lying around.
nta i love my kitties they should never be hurt because of someone being careless about their stuff in the kitties house, keep it up with ur kitties give em treats they deserve em 🤤
i think both points of view are valid in this instance 🙂 she has always had cats and so she probably doesn’t understand that your cat eats string, while you’re trying to protect your beloved pet and save him from another expensive surgery. while it is unfortunate that you had to take her dental floss away, i think it’s perfectly fine that you want to protect both your friend and your cat! you were also very kind to offer to give back her dental floss after she stayed with you.
NTA. I wouldn’t even consider it really
Teaching any pet NOT to eat something that is intriguing to them is like teaching a baby not to hit their head on corners because they should know it will hurt them after the first time. Lol
You are NTA
NTA. I’d think the prospect of a huge vet bill would be enough but some people don’t have any sense.
NTA. Sounds like you treated her like a child because she acted like one.
NTA. Your place, your pet, your rules 🤷🏻♀️
Do you not have rugs or blankets or anything with thread/string anymore? ESH. Her for leaving floss on the counter, but you’re also TA for digging thru the bathroom trash (with lid) to make sure she hadn’t thrown it in what seems like a perfectly reasonable place to most people. Most like to do their grooming in the bathroom & not tote their floss to a kitchen trash. This could have been handled better, perhaps offering bags that can be closed up to put the floss in. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about her doing it again, she won’t be back.
NTA, also, if this floss has any kind of mint on it, it can cause your cats to foam at the mouth if they eat on it. Floss has been all together banned from my home due to my fiance doing the same as your friend and making it impossible to keep the cats out of it. It’s 900% easier to train a PERSON to just not use one item than it is to try and train a cat to leave their favorite thing alone.
I think you ought to invest in a bag of single use flossers. They’re not great for the environment, but providing them to guests as an alternative to long strings and prevent your kitty from doing harm to himself would save everyone a lot of hassle.
NTA. As if you can “teach” a cat ANYTHING. Your friend sucks, her husband sucks worse.
SHE was disrespecting your home. She was a guest, you gave her a rule, and she blatantly ignored it – over and over again. Once might have been a mistake. But she continued to do it – it honestly sounds like she was doing it on purpose after a point.
And honestly… she was only there for a long weekend. How many times did this lady floss? You’re finding it MULTIPLE times in the trash, MULTIPLE times on the sink… over the course of a couple days? What a psycho.
NTA …. my little Yorkie almost died after eating one of the mini dental flosses you get from the dentist… dental floss is very dangerous to little fur babies!!!
NTA.
Pets cannot understand logic with as much as people like to think. Yes, they can be trained to not do stuff, but they also are still this thing called…what’s the word??….oh right an ANIMAL. They will still do stupid stuff. They still eat things they shouldn’t. You’re not watching them 24/7 and when emergencies come up, it’s costly. We
I think your ask and reminders were more than sufficient for her to comply with. Confiscation was the right step. She clearly couldn’t respect your boundaries or house rules. As a guest that’s the least she could do.
How long was she there. I can’t believe she left used floss on the counter. What a slob
NTA
Ask your friend why her husband is calling you about something between you and her. Is she not willing or able to talk things out with you directly?
Ask her if her husband was saying that it’s easier for you to train a CAT to learn to distinguish between their play toys and floss AND ignore their natural instincts than it is for her (your friend) to learns to dispose of her floss in a specific trash can.
Even if a cat could be trained and should be trained to leave floss alone, yours was not. Is throwing floss in the kitchen trash to much to ask to keep your cat safe?!?
You even provided a cat-safe flossing solution!
You can tell your friend you understand it embarrassed her to have you confiscate her floss but you really need to ask her to consider the risk to your cat from her carelessness. And ask her to consider what she would do if your repeated carelessness kept putting her or her loved one at risk.
>after she went home her husband called me and said I was being totally out of line
Her husband called you!? What’s the deal with that?
What makes him think he has license to chastise you?
That goes way too far for normalcy.
NTA
NTA. and tell Jimbob “she was acting like a CHILD. refusing to follow even the simplest of rules, even after gentle correction.”
Your friend’s husband just implied that his wife is both dumber and a bigger asshole than a cat. He thinks training the cat is easier than getting his wife to just choose not to be a dick for a few days. NTA.
So according to the husband it’s much easier to train a cat than his wife. That’s definitely plausible considering.
NTA, cats can be trained on some things, but things like dental floss, well that’s not going to happen!
NTA. Cats aren’t trainable the same way a dog is. And he needs to learn his place. He can absolutely be a listening ear for his venting partner but he has no right to reach out to you about it. You were in your home and all he has done is turned this into an issue. Your friend would’ve likely gotten over it and then you guys would be fine but now it’s an issue.
NTA and people saying they “see both sides” are ridiculous. She put your pet at risk and resent capable of doing a VERY simple ask while in your home. The other option would have been to kick her out to a hotel, I think taking the dental floss was pretty tame in comparison.
Nta
You treated her like a cold because she acted like one.
NTA: Cats understand the concept of supervision. You cannot train a cat to not do things while they’re unsupervised. Apparently you can’t train your friend to not do things while they’re unsupervised either.
Sounds like the cat is smarter than your friend frankly.
Why is it that you’re the one who has to teach your cat but she thinks you’re out of line for trying to teach her something?
NTA. Full stop.
NTA
In this situation, I removed the bathroom trash bin so the guest had to use the closed kitchen one.
Has he ever tried teaching a cat? Lol
NTA! If you figure out how to teach your cats not to do things detrimental to their health, you better let us know!
You went above and beyond the level of niceness that person deserved, considering they are literally putting your cat in harm’s way!