I (24F) have been friends with this girl for 6 years.Even in college,we have always shared clothes-same size,similar style ,and often borrow each other `s clothes without asking.
Recently,she has been spending a lot of time with this guy.The are not actually togheter since he wants to kepp it casual.That surprise me since she always wanted a traditional family,but if she is happy,who cares?
The problem is ,he is constantly around,comes with her anywhere she goes and intrerrupts people.He makes me extremly uncomfortable and have change our dynamic.
Like for couple weeks ago there was a incident that really weirded me out.Me and my friend had plans to meet up and of course was he there even tho she promised me that he wouldn`n come.He was being his usaly self until he noticed that i was wearing one of my friends shirt.She explained to him that we always share clothes and showed him my boots that she had on.He then asked if we really shared everthing,emphasizing everthing. Maybe it was just a question but the way he smiled while saying that and his tone gave me the chills. My friend didn`n notice anything and at the time i though i was overeacting so i didn`t say anthing.
But a few days ago,I come over to drop some of her clothes.I have a key. He was there and i didn`t know that so we kinda starlted eachother when i walked in.I was going to put her clothes in her closet but he kept trying to talk to me so i just put the bag in her room and left.
A few hours later my friend called me and ask where the clothes where.She has just gotten home and couldn`t find them.I told her that it was a white bag that i put in her room but she still couldn`t find them.She was gettting annoyed since she apparently needed on of the dress for their date later on .
I kinda had a feeling that he took them so i ask her to call him. She refused at first but later did.At first he denied,but then he admitted he had taken them becauuse he was going to do laundry at his home that day and though he could save her some time by doing hers too.That would been sweet if i hadn`t already washed them since we always do that before we returned them to eachother.
When she asked him to bring them back,he said ok but then didn`t show up until 3 hours later.He only lives 30 minutes away.And when he returned they were wet and smell strongly of soap. I dont understand why they still were wet if he took them hours ago.
She had been texting me all this and also apolagized for snapping at me earlier.I called her to ask why the clothes were wet and why he decided to wash them just before bringing them.She got angry and ask if i was implying something.Before i could say anything he took the phone and called me paranoid bitch and other things .I just hung up
Now i wonder if i overeacted ,but at the same time ,i am hesitant to share clothes with her as long as he is around.Also sorry for my english
Aita?
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I (24F) have been friends with this girl for 6 years.Even in college,we have always shared clothes-same size,similar style ,and often borrow each other `s clothes without asking.
Recently,she has been spending a lot of time with this guy.The are not actually togheter since he wants to kepp it casual.That surprise me since she always wanted a traditional family,but if she is happy,who cares?
The problem is ,he is constantly around,comes with her anywhere she goes and intrerrupts people.He makes me extremly uncomfortable and have change our dynamic.
Like for couple weeks ago there was a incident that really weirded me out.Me and my friend had plans to meet up and of course was he there even tho she promised me that he wouldn`n come.He was being his usaly self until he noticed that i was wearing one of my friends shirt.She explained to him that we always share clothes and showed him my boots that she had on.He then asked if we really shared everthing,emphasizing everthing. Maybe it was just a question but the way he smiled while saying that and his tone gave me the chills. My friend didn`n notice anything and at the time i though i was overeacting so i didn`t say anthing.
But a few days ago,I come over to drop some of her clothes.I have a key. He was there and i didn`t know that so we kinda starlted eachother when i walked in.I was going to put her clothes in her closet but he kept trying to talk to me so i just put the bag in her room and left.
A few hours later my friend called me and ask where the clothes where.She has just gotten home and couldn`t find them.I told her that it was a white bag that i put in her room but she still couldn`t find them.She was gettting annoyed since she apparently needed on of the dress for their date later on .
I kinda had a feeling that he took them so i ask her to call him. She refused at first but later did.At first he denied,but then he admitted he had taken them becauuse he was going to do laundry at his home that day and though he could save her some time by doing hers too.That would been sweet if i hadn`t already washed them since we always do that before we returned them to eachother.
When she asked him to bring them back,he said ok but then didn`t show up until 3 hours later.He only lives 30 minutes away.And when he returned they were wet and smell strongly of soap. I dont understand why they still were wet if he took them hours ago.
She had been texting me all this and also apolagized for snapping at me earlier.I called her to ask why the clothes were wet and why he decided to wash them just before bringing them.She got angry and ask if i was implying something.Before i could say anything he took the phone and called me paranoid bitch and other things .I just hung up
Now i wonder if i overeacted ,but at the same time ,i am hesitant to share clothes with her as long as he is around.Also sorry for my english
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i asked my friend about her “bf” taking and washing the clothes i lent when i already done that.I might be the asshole since i come across as accusing him of something ,especially since i don`t want to share clothes with her as long as he is around
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Well from the perspective of a middle aged man this guy sounds pretty gross. The sharing comment was creepy, the taking the clothes also feels creepy. Dude seems off to me based on how you described him. NTA
NTA – He’s definitely being a creep and his reaction kind of solidifies it, because normal have the self awareness to understand when they’ve done something weird and creepy and either laugh it off or try to explain.
There’s no reason for him to deny taking the clothes if he wasn’t being shady. There’s no reason for them to be returned half washed. There’s definitely no reason for him to launch into name calling.
It’s all a bit much if there’s nothing deeper.
NTA. Dude is a CREEP! He 100% was asking for a Threesome with that “You share EVERYTHING?” question. Lord only knows what he was doing with your clothes.
It’s too bad this guy is always with your friend. Since you don’t like him for obvious reasons it seems best to see less of your friend. If she doesn’t recognize that he’s not such a great guy, she won’t understand why you stop lending clothes and hanging out so much. You don’t have to be completely honest with her. Because she probably won’t appreciate that. Just accept that your friendship has changed. Maybe she’ll dump him at some point but it needs to be something that she feels is necessary.
NTA Yeah the “share everything” remark was super gross and the taking the clothes is super shady considering his reaction. I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.
What’s with the weird hyperlinks? Why is that a thing chargpt keeps including? Anyone know?
NTA – I love when I can share with my friends! You two are lucky to have each other and he needs to fuck off