So I (16 f) genuinely love maths and was one of the best students in my favorite teacher’s ever class. I get very anxious talking in front of a large crowd, so it was already stress inducing for me to stand in front of all my classmates. I didn’t show my nerves though, wanting to put them aside bc I genuinely spent so much time on my presentation and it was very well put together.
I had to rely on my classmates’ participation for part of my presentation since it a quiz abt what I talked abt previously. People were playing along, and it was getting fun, that was until my friend started acting obnoxious and yelling “Me! Me! Me!” for me to pick her, and she would complain and groan very loudly whenever I didn’t. For context, she is THE best student in our class. So it wouldn’t make sense for me to pick her all the time since I knew she would get it right, and I wanted to make other students participate. She is stellar in all subjects, but she does end up seeking the teachers’ attention ESPECIALLY our maths teacher because he is considered “attractive”.
I gave her a look that was asking for her to stop, but she didn’t. Everytime I picked someone else, everytime I explained the answer, she would keep making sounds and complaining. I turned to her and asked her to stop, and I was so embarrassed to do it in front of everyone since they all started laughing. Everyone could tell I was visibly getting annoyed, but she was relentless. I finish up, and don’t talk to her for the rest of the day. I was hurt.
The next day, I decided to confront her about the whole thing. I told her that I really didn’t like her behavior, that she embarrassed me and disregarded the efforts I put in for my presentation. She brushed me off and told me it was just a joke, and that she couldn’t understand me for taking it seriously and being so sensitive. I told her that she saw me not laughing, that I asked her to stop, and that if she was my friend, she should have not acted this way, even for a joke which I didn’t find funny. She snapped at me and asked me to tell her what she even did to me, and when I told her about the sounds and complaining, she rolled her eyes and told me to stop exaggerating, that I was being annoying. I got mad and told her I wasnt, and she interrupted me to say “What are you gonna do about it? Nothing.” Over and over again.
I shouldn’t have, but I was so hurt I told her she was rude and she went quiet. She ignored me for the rest of the week, until Friday where we were in forced proximity along with my best friend (maths comp). She ignored me, only talked to my friend, and interrupted me whenever I tried talking, and this went on for HOURS. She admitted to me after I asked her that same day that she ignored me bc she was being the bigger person, she wanted to insult me but opted to stay quiet. She said “Maybe you have mental problems.” I was baffled, and then she started laughing and asking me if we’re all good now. I haven’t talked to her since. AITA?
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So I (16 f) genuinely love maths and was one of the best students in my favorite teacher’s ever class. I get very anxious talking in front of a large crowd, so it was already stress inducing for me to stand in front of all my classmates. I didn’t show my nerves though, wanting to put them aside bc I genuinely spent so much time on my presentation and it was very well put together. I had to rely on my classmates’ participation for part of my presentation since it a quiz abt what I talked abt previously. People were playing along, and it was getting fun, that was until my friend started acting obnoxious and yelling “Me! Me! Me!” for me to pick her, and she would complain and groan very loudly whenever I didn’t. For context, she is THE best student in our class. So it wouldn’t make sense for me to pick her all the time since I knew she would get it right, and I wanted to make other students participate. She is stellar in all subjects, but she does end up seeking the teachers’ attention ESPECIALLY our maths teacher because he is considered “attractive”. I gave her a look that was asking for her to stop, but she didn’t. Everytime I picked someone else, everytime I explained the answer, she would keep making sounds and complaining. I turned to her and asked her to stop, and I was so embarrassed to do it in front of everyone since they all started laughing. Everyone could tell I was visibly getting annoyed, but she was relentless. I finish up, and don’t talk to her for the rest of the day. I was hurt. The next day, I decided to confront her about the whole thing. I told her that I really didn’t like her behavior, that she embarrassed me and disregarded the efforts I put in for my presentation. She brushed me off and told me it was just a joke, and that she couldn’t understand me for taking it seriously and being so sensitive. I told her that she saw me not laughing, that I asked her to stop, and that if she was my friend, she should have not acted this way, even for a joke which I didn’t find funny. She snapped at me and asked me to tell her what she even did to me, and when I told her about the sounds and complaining, she rolled her eyes and told me to stop exaggerating, that I was being annoying. I got mad and told her I wasnt, and she interrupted me to say “What are you gonna do about it? Nothing.” Over and over again. I shouldn’t have, but I was so hurt I told her she was rude and she went quiet. She ignored me for the rest of the week, until Friday where we were in forced proximity along with my best friend (maths comp). She ignored me, only talked to my friend, and interrupted me whenever I tried talking, and this went on for HOURS. She admitted to me after I asked her that same day that she ignored me bc she was being the bigger person, she wanted to insult me but opted to stay quiet. She said “Maybe you have mental problems.” I was baffled, and then she started laughing and asking me if we’re all good now. I haven’t talked to her since. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I was a bit too harsh when confronting her.
2. Well, calling your friend “rude” is pretty much an asshole thing to do.
One of my other friends told me i shouldn’t have confronted her, that I shouldn’t have been an asshole and sensitive. When I thought about it, I realized I was overreacting and shouldn’t have confronted my other friend. And that calling her rude was a horrible thing to do.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. She WAS rude, horribly so, and afterwards she tried to gaslight you into believing you were the one behaving badly. This is not a healthy friendship.
NTA, you don’t have to be friends with people who make you feel bad.
NTA.
This girl is toxic. She ruined the experience for you, ruined a learning experience for the other students in the class, and the continued to be petty and vindictive. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Cut her out of it, be happy, and take pleasure that you not giving her attention will hurt her more than you being upset.
NTA. She wasn’t joking, she was deliberately undermining you when she knew you were anxious. Friends don’t embarrass friends for laughs.
I was originally feeling like you were taking her too seriously and should have just played it off like saying “does anyone ELSE have the answer?” and then everyone can laugh about it, and I still think that while she was being annoying, it wasn’t that big of a deal. You guys are kids, she’s not going to be an adult because she’s not an adult. It’s better to let stuff like this slide because it’s just not that big of a deal.
But if she’s telling you you have mental problems, that sucks. I’d say if she wants to be cool, she needs to cut that out. You guys are 16 so again, most of this is minor sins, things you just get over, but if she’s straight-up insulting you, that’s not a friend. NTA.
Nta, but your “friend” certainly is one!
She’s been incredibly rude and childish. Sabotaging your presentation, mocking you, relentlessly interrupting, cold shoulder, and then gaslighting you into thinking you might be the ah?
She doesn’t sound like any sort of “friend” I’d want to have.
NTA. She is an attention seeker and she’s incredibly rude and dismissive. She’s not friend material, but also don’t let her walk all over you. Speak up when she tries to interrupt you. Otherwise ignore her. No one likes a know it all which is exactly what’s she’s being.
NTA You already did the mature thing and told her how she was making you feel. She decided to get defensive instead of listen to you. That’s not what a friend does.
When it comes to posts like this, I feel like a lot of irrelevant details are given (you liking math, the teacher being attractive, the word by word she said – I said, etc), while the relevant ones (like what the relationship between you two is like, whether she is always like this, whether she is only like this to you, etc) aren’t given.
I think you guys already didn’t get along. I think this is about more than just what you wrote. This doesn’t sound like it’s the first time she does something disregards your feelings. She doesn’t even really sound like she’s your friend.
NTA. This girl has that main character thing going on where she thinks her intellect should give her all the attention. She’s not your friend if she isn’t concerned that she’s hurting your feelings and calling you names.
Also, the teacher should have stepped in here and told her to chill.
she literally asked what you were gonna do about it then got mad when you did something lol
NTA she is not your friend and does not want you to be impressive or successful. A real pick me. You’re young enough to make new and better friends. A real friend would have lifted you up appropriately.
NTA. It’s time to realize SHE IS NOT A TRUE FRIEND. Cut her from your life.
Thats tough. NTAH. I have the same problem too. I feel like im more of a walking-talking joke when Im with that person and it effects the people around me and how they percieve me too. Honestly spending less time with them or avoiding them entirely is the best thing i couldve done.
I am guessing you’re introverted? Most people confuse that with being shy and an excuse to put you down.
Let me assure you, introverts get things done. Most thinkers, scientists, philosophers and yes, many business leaders, including Bill Gates, are introverted.
She was not being rude. She was being a bully. Probably thinks of you as her punching bag.
Putting you down and making you miserable makes her feel good about herself. So don’t engage. Use the gray rock method. Look it up.
NTA.
Absolutely not she’s a bytch and you did right to confront her as it seems she’s not used to that. I hope you never speak to her again. She was being rude and inconsiderate and can’t see her wrong. You did right