So where I live there’s a neighborhood corner store that is right across the street from my apartment. I have lived here 4 years and know the local unhoused that hang out there. One of them is a woman who used to live at the complex, but is now unhoused. She does have some type of mental or intellectual disability and is super sweet, but also easily taken advantage of. I see her frequently at the store, as well as around the little town I live in.
I went to the store earlier and she was sitting near the front on a little brick stoop and when I came out there was some random man with his arm around her pulling her to kiss him. I asked her point blank ” hey, do you know this man? Do you want him to be touching you?” She looked at me and shook her head no, so I told him, in no uncertain terms, “she doesn’t know you or want you near her, back the f off.” He looked mildly irritated, but went into the store to buy whatever he came for, and I stayed with her outside and chatted a bit. He came back out and went into a rant about how I should mind my own business, he’s a Christian, I’m a bitch, he’s some.kind of leader at a church, so on and so on. I stood my ground and engaged yelling right back at him, telling him to leave, bye, don’t touch women you don’t know, etc and he finally walked off. Some random guy watching the second encounter told me I was pretty harsh. I may have been, but I didn’t want to think what might have happened if I just ignored the entire situation
AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
So where I live there’s a neighborhood corner store that is right across the street from my apartment. I have lived here 4 years and know the local unhoused that hang out there. One of them is a woman who used to live at the complex, but is now unhoused. She does have some type of mental or intellectual disability and is super sweet, but also easily taken advantage of. I see her frequently at the store, as well as around the little town I live in.
I went to the store earlier and she was sitting near the front on a little brick stoop and when I came out there was some random man with his arm around her pulling her to kiss him. I asked her point blank ” hey, do you know this man? Do you want him to be touching you?” She looked at me and shook her head no, so I told him, in no uncertain terms, “she doesn’t know you or want you near her, back the f off.” He looked mildly irritated, but went into the store to buy whatever he came for, and I stayed with her outside and chatted a bit. He came back out and went into a rant about how I should mind my own business, he’s a Christian, I’m a bitch, he’s some.kind of leader at a church, so on and so on. I stood my ground and engaged yelling right back at him, telling him to leave, bye, don’t touch women you don’t know, etc and he finally walked off. Some random guy watching the second encounter told me I was pretty harsh. I may have been, but I didn’t want to think what might have happened if I just ignored the entire situation
AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the AH because I was being aggressively nosy and got pretty rude to a random stranger
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
You went to bat for the unhoused woman, when she either could not or did not know how to fend this guy off.
Someone ranting at you by telling you he’s a “Christian” is bogus in the extreme. Ditto for the misinformation that he’s a church leader. People who legitimately do those things don’t generally try to grope members of the unhoused population. He didn’t much like you interfering in his “fun” and tried to intimidate you so he could resume being a dick.
The random guy who said you were harsh is also one. No one ever has the right to touch people or approach them without permission, and the behavior of the first one was obviously making her uncomfortable. You absolutely did the right thing in the moment, but I’m concerned about the well-being of the woman if or when she encounters him again. Not your fault, not your responsibility, except as one human being to another. I don’t know what you can do about that, either, unless you think letting the police know what happened will help.
You should definitely not have ignored the situation. Who knows what this guy had in mind? It didn’t look or sound good, and you did the right thing by stepping up. Thanks for advocating for someone who couldn’t do so herself.
NTA – He has no business being a church leader or a leader of anything if he abuses his position to harass vulnerable women. That bystander man has no business judging you when he was too spineless to do anything about it. It’s because of men like that, that it’s usually up to women to help women instead of men.
NTA – Good for you OP, you knew her intellectual situation and stepped in to make sure she was ok. She confirmed (in her way) that she needed help, and you did.
You did the right thing 🙂
NTA. You go girl. I am so proud of you.
NTA I wonder how the people in his church would feel about him harassing a disabled woman
You did a really great thing! But I’m baffled at why you felt the need to ask this on reddit, there’s no gray area in this situation regardless of what some rando said. NTA.
You’re a good person. Good job standing up for others with the power you have. Excellent praxis.
NTA
You’re braver than many could ever wish to be. Myself included.
How can we allow someone like her to live on the streets? Have you tried to talk to someone at Adult Social Services about her? Homelessness seems to be an epidemic, esp in cities, even among the disabled who are often exploited.
NTA! Thank goodness you were there. Thank you for standing up for this poor lady.
NTA. Also, that’s a whole lot of gross behavior. Yuck. Is there an outreach that the woman could go to? Not one that is hosted by the creepy church guy?