My husband and I have been discussing this for many months and the time has finally come to give the hospital our answer. I have asked him countless times and he always says he will look into it, then doesn’t. I remind him that he needs to by this date so that we can discuss these things. I told him my decision already and was very clear about it, but said I would like him to feel educated about it and comfortable about our decision before the day. I even told him yesterday that the decision needs to be made by today. I am feeling like the mental load of having to constantly ask him is weighing on me, and I have said if he doesn’t let me know by this date I will go ahead with deciding myself.
I FEEL like TAH though! I have never lied to him, and we have a relationship heavily built on trust. This is a big thing to go ahead with without his consent. He has also been super busy at work and I know he is swamped so i have allowed him some grace on this. I love him more than almost anything. And I don’t know if he could get past this if I went ahead without his consent.
Would I be TAH if I went ahead with the decision if he hasn’t told me by then?
AITA for considering vaccinating our child without my husband’s consent?
r/AITAH
Comments
You’ve given countless opportunities for him to make a decision and he hasn’t. Just go get it your child immunized, it seems to not be a big deal to him.
NTA, you told him a date and to prepare before then, he didn’t. Childhood illnesses won’t give your kid a pass because Dad is dicking around, protect your child and others and get your kid vaccinated.
NTA, but just give him a heads up. Just tell him since you didn’t hear his answer by the deadline, you are going forward.
The fact that you all are even questioning this makes you both boneheads.
NTA, when you ask in the future, give him a deadline and if he doesn’t deal with it by then, move on. How will you feel if your kid gets sick because dad was too lazy to move forward.
NTA, your husband is taking his sweet time and his “consent” for immunization isn’t gonna save your kid when they gets sick unnecessarily
Do what’s best for your baby and listen to the doctors
NTA. The MMR vaccine has been around for a long time and is proven to work. Measles are on the rise in the US and some places in the world are having trouble with polio and the mumps. These diseases can be fatal and are painful (mumps especially). And mumps can cause sterility in males.
Your duty is to your child’s health. And the public good. Your husband is an idiot.
Did you know his stance before procreating with him
Info: why are you willing to negotiate your children’s health with a slacker?
What is there to discuss unless he’s a pediatrician or infectious disease doctor?
Do what you need to do to keep your child safe and healthy.
Your husband has had plenty of time to figure it out or he could go with you and ask the doctor questions. He has chosen to do neither.
He doesn’t want to take responsibility! So he is playing time. Hopefully he is just petrified to take a decision and will be glad you took one, because if not, he will be ready to blame you for either decision. In any case he is not playing team!
NTA. Refusal to answer equals implied consent. Get the vaccines done. The diseases they prevent can have lifelong (or fatal) consequences.
That is much more important than your husband’s ego issues.
NTA. A baby died of rabies a few days ago because he wasn’t vaccinated
Do it.
Your child’s safety is what’s important.
He’s blatantly ignoring you repeatedly on an important issue and you’re here worried about being the AH?
And based on what you’ve said here you’ve been open about everything, including that fact that you will have to move forward and make the choice yourself if he doesn’t say something by said date.
Stop making excuses for his behavior. He is not too swamped at work to deal with his child’s health. He is purposely avoiding the issue.
NTA. If he cared, he would have given you an answer long ago. I didn’t even consider asking my husband. I just told him “baby is due for his first vax, I’ve booked him in to see the doctor” and got it done
He can procrastinate but the viruses sure won’t. There’s enough childhood diseases that you can’t really avoid (looking at you hand foot mouth and pink eye!) that avoiding the ones you can is a no-brainer. I wouldn’t go without him knowing unless he’s abusive. But also, he needed to take time. If it had actually been important to him, he would have made time. I’m sure there are things you know are important to him that he squeezes in. You told him, now act.
If you decide to not vaccinate, you may as well start making funeral arrangements now.
You’ll have to get them eventually if you want your kids to participate in society 😅
Just say “today is baby’s vaccination day” and go get it done.
NTA tell your husband to read this pamphlet and that you are going to vaccinate your kid. You can either do it on the recommended schedule or you can extend it out but wither way you would rather see your kid protected then allow ignorance to harm your kid
Hubby is a dumbass conspiracy clown. Take care of your child. Turn off Fox News.
Please just get them vaccinated. Your kids don’t deserve preventable childhood illnesses because dad wants to “do his own research“ but also at the same time can’t even be bothered to do it.
Why on EARTH is this even a discussion.
“Honey our kid needs to be vaccinated by mid July so I made an appointment”.
That’s it. Period.
It’s not a circumcision it’s a lifesaving vaccine. I cannot even.
NTA get your child vaccinated. your hubby had enough time to make up his mind, so it obviously doesn’t matter to him.
NTA. You have reminded him multiple times, you can’t wait any longer. Get your kid vaccinated.
If you are “in charge” of day to day childcare…off ya go…
NTA
You’re never the asshole for preventing illness, even against the other parent’s wishes.
She gave a deadline and he missed it. NTA. Do what you feel is best for your child and the child’s health and safety. He is being TAH for not taking your genuine interest in his opinion to heart. His lack of response IS a response. Get your child vaccinated and move on. If he had strong feelings he would have said something. My feeling is he doesn’t care one way or another.
NTA you’ve given him enough time to look into it and he hasn’t. Get your child vaccinated so they don’t end up being really poorly in the future because your husband didn’t think it was important enough to do the research. Your child’s health should always come first he missed your set deadline that’s not your fault that’s on him. Just tell him you’ve made the decision by yourself because he didn’t give you his decision by the deadline.
You are NEVER the AH for vaccinating your child! That’s just what parents who love their children do.
NTA You would NOT be lying to him as you have already informed him you would be making the final say if he didn’t provide input by a certain date! It’s understandable he is busy with work but he has to choose to prioritize his family! You are his partner and if he can’t allocate that time right now then he should be able to trust you to make an informed decision regarding the child! If he complains then calmly provide receipts! Reminder him when you asked how many times you reminded and provided the cut off time frame! And remind him that he chose you as a partner in life and as the mother of his children and he should be able to trust the decisions you make if he wants to remove himself from the process! And if he doesn’t/can’t/ won’t trust you then that is a different issue entirely
You asked him multiple times and then even with a deadline, made it clear you’d go ahead with or without him. Sounds like he doesn’t want to make The decision. Not sure but definitely get the vaccines and protect your precious baby. To many things like measles which are highly preventable, are going around right now and could be deadly. Why risk it? Best of luck to you and maybe afterward, have a sit down with the hubs when he’s relaxed about why the foot drag in this.
If it was important to him, he would have done it. He didn’t so do what you think is best.
Nta what’s more important here? Your child’s health or your husbands opinion? Get the kid vaxed and tell your husband you can’t put off your child’s medical needs for his inability to prioritize his want of “research”.
Also, let’s be honest, he was going to probably google it and that’s not how one should make medical choices
NTA. You’re protecting your child.
NTA, if he cared he would put in the effort. He clearly doesn’t. That said, not vaccinating is neglect and there should be no debate.
I ran the immunization clinic at Ft. Leavenworth Army base in the early 2000’s: NTA, but you will be if you don’t protect your baby from preventable diseases. (Have you ever seen a baby with whooping cough? It will scare the life out of you.) If he’s “too busy” to do the research, you have to make the decision solo. Don’t leave your baby in the lurch.
NTA listen to doctors not your husband who probably gets his vaccine information from Joe Rogan
NTA He has put no thought into it so why should he have a say? Just vaccinate your child. It’s important to your child.
Your child and their safety comes first, go get that shot
You’ve given him plenty of chance to express his opinion. You are the parent, too, and if you feel your child needs vaccinations, just do it. You will be sparing your child the possibility of getting really sick with diseases that can be prevented. Just take your child and get the shots.
NTA
Those are YOUR children too.
Make an executive decision.
Your foot dragging husband will get over it.
You gave him so many opportunities and you also said if he doesn’t
Give you an answer you will make the decision yourself so if you go ahead and do it – there is no lie
I wouldn’t even do it behind his back, I’d tell him because he has been unable to make a decision within ample time you have been forced to make a decision on the behalf of him as the other legal parent. Make sure you document his indecisiveness and your messages incase this turns ugly.
Why the heck are you asking your husband? This is not his decision to make. It’s yours.
And if he doesn’t consent what then? You gonna trust your husband over decades of scientific research and put your child at risk of serious disease?
NTA
If you love your kid, vaccination is the way to go. My great grandparents had young kids who died of diphtheria … a disease preventable by vaccines. Children in America have died from measles this year.
NTA. It shouldn’t take more than the 12 seconds of your spiel for him to know that vaccinating is the proper healthy safe path. There’s no need for “research” at this point because unless he’s going to embark on a multi-year study, get it peer-reviewed and then published by an accredited medical journal, that “research” is just going to feed whatever biases he might have (versus scientific facts.)
Get the kid vaccinated. Time is up and the conspiracy theory rabbit hole research doesn’t help.
NTA the child needs to come first.
It’s an even bigger thing to expose your baby to diseases that could kill or permanently disable your child for life! Follow your gut. Vaccines save lives! Other people, in other countries would kill to have access to what we have!
If your husband cared about you or your child at all, he would’ve given you the answers you needed.
I would think less of it like doing it without your husband’s consent and more of it being proactive about your child’s health. Because fuck your husband for not putting his child’s health above every single other thing in his life. I don’t know why you care what your husband thinks about vaccinating your child unless he’s a pediatrician. You protect your kids at all costs always.
Theres not a snowballs chance in hell that I would have asked my husband about vaccinations nor would he ask me. Get your kids vaccinated.
Signed: A Boomer who experienced those childhood diseases and had a sister that died at the age of 5
Make an appointment, tell your husband “on this date I am taking Junior for his vaccinations.” Then do it. You are doing nothing to violate trust. If he is really that concerned, he will know when he needs to have whatever research done.
NTA. You don’t have to do it behind his back. Just text him or call him and tell him that since he hasn’t given you his consent you’ll follow the doctor’s recommendations (the doctor will most likely tell you to go through wit it). It doesn’t need to be confrontational. You’ve told him that if he doesn’t give you his answer you’d go ahead and decide yourself so now you’ll be just following through with it. And he can hardly blame you for trusting a doctor on a health related matter. The doctor who had to study years so he’d be able to give advice.
NTA get your child immunised. He has had ample opportunity to converse about it and has so far chosen not to.
NTA. This isn’t the same as doing it when he’s against it— he hasn’t prioritized making a decision on it. You gave him a date to give a decision by & if he doesn’t, then It’s your decision. That’s perfectly reasonable.
NTA
Protect your child. Your husband can’t be bothered to read up on decades of research, that’s his problem.
Neglecting to participate in a discussion is his answer. If he can’t refute it, he obviously doesn’t mind you making the decision
I don’t really understand what you are waiting for him to decide. The default is following the recommended vaccination schedule, so if he never brought up concerns backed by research then why even open the door for him to disagree? It sounds like he would’ve just gone along with whatever was recommended so just… do that?
NTA.
You’re not lying to him if you’ve told him you plan to make the decision without him. If he cared that much, he would have prioritized his participation in the process and preparation, regardless of how busy he is with work. He has opted out, and you are free to proceed as you will.
There’s a measles cluster happening here .. at least one child has died. NTA
He may never forgive you for this but if your child gets severely ill will you be able to stand looking at him? NTA get your kid immunized. We’re all vaccinated anyways because it used to be a requirement for school. At the end of the day your child needs to matter more.
Just do it. Vaccines have been well proven to be safe and the health of your kid is more important than the possibility of your husband being left out of the decision. This really shouldn’t even have to be a discussion to be honest. NTA.
Nta. He has a deadline after numerous reminders and chances.
Just be aware that should anything happen with your child at any time in their lives eg: a diagnosis of dyslexia/autism/adhd, anxiety, flat feet, recurring ear infection (being a bit facetious here) , you husband will most likely blame the vaccine and blame you.
It seems he’s OK with the child being vaccinated, he just wants to be absolved of any responsibility.
NTA. You’ve given him multiple chances to read up and decide and to verbalise his choices, and you have said if he doesn’t decide then you’ll be doing the vaccines – you can’t be expected to chase an answer forever, and if he then turns around and says he didn’t want vaccines, well then he should’ve used his big boy voice and TOLD you.
I would let him know that since he has repeatedly put off discussing it with you you are going to make an appointment to have them done on x date because you don’t want your child to potentially suffer due to his indecisiveness (and make the appointment) tell him that if he has not discussed it with you by then you will take it as his compliance to the decision.
Get your child vaccinated and don’t bring up the topic again. Your husband is an idiot. NTA.
“Should I save my child from an agonizing death? I feel like TAH for maybe saving them instead of letting them die in the future from something totally preventable because my husband hasn’t given me the ok yet!” – your post in a nutshell.
NTA, but you’d be among the worst if you don’t vaccinate your kid – regardless of if your husband values their life enough to consent to it or not. Tell him you’ve done it, but do it.
NTA – He knew the date and that was his deadline for input.
NTA. Get your kids vaccinated. Honesty and respecting him as an equal parent is important but not as important as a healthy kid. A baby just passed from the measles because they were too young to get vaccinated.
He has not come out strongly against vaccines and has ignored you, so just vaccinate your child. I would do this even if he does not want to vaccinate. I would just do it and never bring it up again.
He hasn’t said no, so step up and protect your child’s health.
nta
NTA. Read these comments OP. Everyone is coming here to say the same things.
We didn’t even have a discussion. I just got our children vaccinated. If he had a strong opinion on this he would’ve looked into it and talked to you about it already. You gave him a deadline / the doctor’s appointment and he’s done nothing. He probably doesn’t care. Just get the kid vaccinated and move on. He probably won’t talk about it again unless you do.
His lack of decision is indeed a decision. Go ahead and get your child their vaccinations. NTA.
Having him vaccinated is in your child’s best interests. I don’t even think it should be up for discussion. If he was really against it, he would’ve let you know by now. Go ahead and get him protected and don’t even mention it again. If he asks, inform him you did as agreed and went ahead with your decision because he couldn’t make up his mind in time.
Even if he said no, I’d still be tempted to do it because it’d be the child at risk because of an uninformed parent’s choice.
Give him your pediatrician’s phone number and tell him he can complete his research with just one phone call
NTA. Everyone should be vaccinated. Nevermind him getting past anything, your child’s health is more important, how would you feel if they caught something that could have been prevented?
NTA. You gave him plenty of chances and clear deadlines. If he won’t decide, you have to — especially for your child’s health. This isn’t betrayal; it’s responsibility.
Imo if he hasn’t looked into something as important as this its because he just doesn’t care to.
Its not important to him, it clearly is to you so your decision is the only one that really matters
Get your child immunized. He may consider you an asshole but if that’s his hill to die on, courts won’t.
Why does he need time to “look into it”? Why doesn’t he just come with you and ask the doctor any questions he has? No amount of Internet research is going to allow him to make a decision on vaccinations. There’s way too much anti-vaccine BS on here. Just go talk to a professional who spends their life dedicated to this kinda thing.
NTA for getting your child vaccinated without his approval. You SHOULD be getting them vaccinated. Measles is on the rise because vaccine rates are on the decline.
NTA. Please get your child vaccinated. I bet if he wanted a new TV or game system or something he was into, he would be looking into everything he could because that’s something he actually cares about. He isn’t prioritizing you or your child at all. Please make the decision for your child’s health and safety.
Just do it you don’t need him
He is giving you consent. You told him if you don’t have an answer by x date you will do x.
Why are women having children with men who won’t vaccinate their children? Absolutely not!
Please listen to me. I was married to a chiropractor for 13 years. I was admittedly young, dumb, and a bit brainwashed. By the time I came out of my delusion, it was too late. And now if I got my children vaccinated, I would be in contempt of court. I regret every day that I didn’t just get it done at those well baby checks that he didn’t come to anyway. It literally haunts me. Please don’t make the same mistake. I did. Just get it done while you still can. Much easier to ask forgiveness than permission in this case. ( not that I really think you should need forgiveness, but that’s the expression lol) and edited to add… NTA.
Research into the efficacy of childhood vaccinations should take roughly three minutes. Unless your husband needs the information translated into some obscure dialect, this could have been done during a commercial break while watching TV. Given that you’re married to an idiot, get your kid vaccinated.
Get it done, protect your child.
You’ll feel worse when your kid dies from a vaccine preventable disease. Vaccinate your kid.
It’s your child’s LIFE here! Childhood diseases can kill, fgs. Just get ‘er done STAT. NTA
You cannot trust him to educate himself on something important like that in time, despite warnings. If also on his side the relationship is build on trust, that is on his side a big AH move. You cannot trust him enough for important decisions, so it is your call. NTA.
You WBTA if you didn’t vaccinate your child. Personally, if my husband were like that, I’d leave him out of the loop. Vaccinations are a life or death conversation. If someone is not willing to have a productive exchange, then they forfeit their right to participate.
NTA vaccines prevent deadly diseases. He’s the AH for avoiding the subject. There’s currently a measles outbreak, that can end your child’s life. That wouldn’t be happening again if the anti-vax idiots would shut the hell up. What’s more important? Fostering a healthy and long life for your child, or making sure your lazy husband is comfy?
If he was openly refusing then that would be a whole different issue (one I’m really not sure what the answer would be because even if you broke up he would have equal say and who knows which way the courts would come down)
However simply not expressing any opinion at all, well he had the opportunity to refuse so just get it done and honestly I wouldn’t even bring it up again. If he complained at that point I would say “we have been discussing this for months, I told you when it was booked for”
NTA, get that baby vaccinated! What does he need to “research” beyond the fact that vaccines had effectively erraticated several deadly illnesses right up until people stopped giving them to their kids???
go do it hun, its the right thing to do
NTA
I don’t think I ever asked my X if he was okay with vaccinating our kids – it was just an expectation and a basic step in good parenting care back then.
Having had a massive bout of whooping cough last year, probably picked up from one of the unvaccinated kids I teach, I would say, just go ahead and do it. I cannot imagine having a child have to deal with it. It was horrendous, frightening and debilitating. I thought I was going to die from being unable to catch my breath several times. And I know that you know measles can be fatal? Does he?
Just do it.
You’ve given him plenty of reminders and he’s not interested in actually looking into it and giving you a direct answer. I think that is your answer.
You’re not being an asshole by not getting consent and you don’t need to lie about it. Just say “tomorrow is baby’s doctors appointment for vaccinations.” Or “we had baby’s vaccinations today.”
NTA
If he still hasn’t told you, it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t care all that much. So go ahead and get appropriate healthcare for your child.
Your children’s health is much more important than his willful incompetence.
If he’s too stubborn, selfish and stupid to vaccinate his child then he shouldn’t be a parent. Your child won’t live a full life without the proper vaccinations.
NTA. Just get it done. He obviously doesn’t care about this in any sort of meaningful way.
My husband never raised the issue with me and then acted horrified when I got my son the HPV vaccine. As a woman, I felt it was the responsible thing to do in consideration of my son’s future partners—my decision at the time.
Yes, it is a mental load question. I absolutely did not mind taking on the mental load on this front. But taking on the mental load also has, implicit, “I am the person taking care of business.” if my husband had been the one taking my son to his doctors’ appointments, I would have respected his decision in that moment.
If your husband wants to complicate things with a different set of vaccination approvals than would be your choice, then he should take over the task of taking your kid in to those appointments.
How do you have a child with someone without making sure you’re on the same page on these topics first?!?
Your husband has made his decision by refusing to follow-up. He doesn’t actually care, he’s just choosing to be stubborn. The health and well-being of your child is far more important. Vaccinate and move on.
He dropped the ball he forfeits his right to an opinion.
Nta- he doesn’t want to make the call because if someone goes wrong he can now blame you because he didn’t tell you what he thought. Do what’s best for your kid.
In very few political systems do non-voters get a say. You’re NTA. Also, as a hospital microbiologist, just get your kids fucking vaccinated. It sucks ass when I have to diagnose a cohort of siblings with the same fucking preventable disease. One kid gets sick? Sure, occasionally vaccines fail or an individual has a condition that prevents them from getting vaccinated, I don’t blame anyone for that. But when a 6, a 4, and a 1 year old with the same last name all test positive for something preventable… Frankly it just upsets me that the poor kids have to suffer through that.
just do it
You would be the AH if you didn’t vaccinate your child.
His “vote” is to abstain.
Then, by default, you win. Nothing sneaky about it. Has he said he’s anti-vac?
It’s not a lie. You gave him every opportunity to look into this and he hasn’t. You told him you’re going to go ahead with it, so do that. Your child’s health is non-negotiable. Just because he’s being a lazy slacker, uninterested in his own child’s health, doesn’t mean you should not take care of that child’s health.
You are an AH for considering not to vaccinate your child.
Even if he said “absolutely not or we’re over”, you should get your child vaccinated. Not doing so if giving in to conspiracy theories and junk science and could be construed as child abuse. Stop thinking about it and talking about it and just do it.
NTA
The deadline has arrived, you’ve made it clear and gave him time.
People who think a deaf, blind or dead child is preferable to an autistic child (even tho there is zero proof, there), have no business making any decisions for a child
NTA. You fight for your kids Momma Bear!
NTA. Medical care is not an opinion.
Get them vaccinated and ALSO don’t try to have a huge discussion afterward. I simply wouldn’t mention it. You told him you would do it after x date, there’s no need to go and try to justify the decision either before or after.
NTA you made it very clear what would happen and also don’t get your kid killed
He has very clearly abdicated this decision to you, so you should get your child vaccinated and feel good about it. It’s not acceptable that your child’s health and welfare are coming in second to your husband’s procrastination just so he can feel he has a voice. NTA.
It’s mind boggling today that people even have to have these discussions about “looking into it and deciding”.
Keep your kids safe. It’s not your fault your husband is not doing his part.
> we have a relationship heavily built on trust.
Like how you trusted him to act like an adult and he didn’t?
> I told him my decision already and was very clear about it. I have said if he doesn’t let me know by this date I will go ahead with deciding myself.
You made your plan clear. Please vaccinate your child.
> > I am feeling like the mental load of having to constantly ask him is weighing on me
You were crystal clear, stop begging him to participate.
> He has also been super busy at work and I know he is swamped so i have allowed him some grace on this.
If he can’t manage a task this minor, y’all are going to have trouble.
> And I don’t know if he could get past this if I went ahead without his consent.
Are you sure that isn’t exactly what he wants you to do? Make the decision so it isn’t his “fault” if kiddo has a reaction or something. If he cared that much about the topic, seems like he could have spent 5 minutes on it by now.
Please vaccinate your child.
As of July 17, 2025, there have been three reported measles deaths in the United States. Two of these deaths occurred in Texas, while the third occurred in New Mexico. The deaths were all in unvaccinated individuals.
The measles outbreak in the United States began in late 2024 and has primarily affected Texas and New Mexico. As of June 2025, there have been over 800 confirmed cases of measles in the country.
Just show him this this is as it is happening right now! Get your kids vaccinated
My mother was born in 1962, she was part of a vital testing group for vaccines because she was born early and severly jaundiced. Her medical records state that by time she was 5 she’d had over 80 jabs, guess who’s still fine now….
Vaccines are nonnegotiable. It’s people not getting their kids vaccinated that has caused a resurgence of some of these terrible diseases
NTA. I commend you for wanting to allow him the time to research and give his point of view so that you can have an educated discussion on the vaccines, but it would seem it is not at the top of his list and not as important as he’s making it out if he has not done the research and given you a response. I would tell him you value his opinion, and you want to be respectful of his feelings as a parent of this child, but you’re out of time. You’re going to vaccinate and he will need to be more proactive going forward because it is not fair to put you in this position when you’re trying to be respectful of his thoughts and feelings
Your child’s health comes first. My friend’s neighbor refused to give her child the polio vaccine. And guess what happened! Yep, crippled for life
NTA. Get the child immunised!!
I have an ASD 13yo. He has 3 we have custody of. WE have a 3yo.
He thinks vaccines cause ASD, no matter what research and proof I give him.
My and our children are fully vaxxed. I take them to the ped, not him.
This actually is NOT a big thing to go ahead with without his consent – it’s extremely routine. Most parents do not think of this as a decision but simply as a normal task that needs to be done to keep their children healthy and safe. If you have no reason to think that your husband doesn’t want to vaccinate your children, why are you hung up on it?
Immunizations for children are not up for discussion. At all.
would you even want to be with someone who doesn’t trust science enough to get their child vaccinated???
Ffs. You owe it to your child to vaccinate
ESH. My child would already be long vaccinated.
You need to figure out why exactly you are with someone who is so dense that they are willing to risk your child’s life
It’s bad enough that you have a child with him, the least you can do is protect that child as best you can
But don’t do anything illegal, there are laws that could strip you of your parental time which would leave your poor innocent child in the hands of someone who is going to risk their health and life
Check to see if it’s illegal to vaccinate without your partners consent in your state
YTA. Not because you want to vaccinate your children; or that you want him to “research” the issue (does he have a medical background or is he going to look it up on Google?)
It’s because you asked an impossible ask:
“I told him my decision already and was very clear about it, but said I would like him to feel educated about it and comfortable about our decision before the day.”
You want agreement and comfort. That’s the controlling behavior. As a legal guardian, you can get the children vaccinated by yourself. But now you want your spouse not only to agree to the decision, but be comfortable with it?
We can disagree with our partners; live with the discomfort. He might come to appreciate it down the road when they don’t die of measles.
Vaccinate your baby!!! They need all of the vaccinations!!!
What is wrong with you?
Why the fuck is it even a question? Vaccinate your child asap
For fks sake immunize your child.
Of course, NTA. First of all… it’s NOT a “big thing” to do without his consent. For decades, moms took their kids to the pediatricians and got them all their vaccinations without so much as a conversation with the dad, because moms were the main caregivers/healthcare deciders, and vaccines were totally accepted as a completely safe, normal thing to do for your kids (which they are). Dads didn’t even know the kid had a doctor’s appointment most of the time, nor did they care.
Vaccines aren’t a “big thing” unless you’re an antivaxxer. They’re a totally normal, routine thing to do – unless you believe strongly that they’re not. Your husband doesn’t seem to be an anti-vaxxer, he seems to be someone who really doesn’t care.
So… make the decision for him. Get the vaccines. If he cared that strongly, he’d have said something by now.
And honestly… if he “did his research” and the answer was “no vaccines” – I’d LEAVE HIM. Because I would not risk the lives of my children and stay with someone so woefully uninformed. He’d be a danger to my children. Anti-vax is a red line.
NTA. This isn’t a big thing to do without his consent. You’re preventing deadly illnesses. That’s a no brainer. There is NO evidence that vaccines cause autism. NONE.
You have full consent to do it as a parent and if he objects to vaccines, he’s an unfit parent. Just do it and tell him after the fact.
Do it. Vaccinations are necessary to avoid death and disease. That is more important.
NTA. You are making the medically and scientifically-sound decision, and neglecting to vaccinate your kids could have lethal consequences.
Don’t be an AH, go get your kids vaccinated. Your husband is lazy and possibly stupid.
Not vaccinating your children is tantamount to child abuse (medical exceptions apply)
YTA for not getting them done on the recommended schedule and even considering permitting them to not be done.
Nta. Just vax your kids. There’s no reason not to. Studies prove again and again how beneficial they are.
NTA. Keep your child healthy. That’s what’s important
Forget seeking his consent and just inform him. “You’ve had time to do your research, the time for you to object has come and gone. I am now informing you that this is happening, for the sake of our child’s health, and you’re just going to deal with it.”
Yes you are the AH but not because of the reason you’re worried about.
I trust my child’s doctor more than I would trust a google search from my husband on vaccines. If my child’s doctor says the baby needs it, then the baby is going to get it regardless. This is just weird behavior to think that people with no medical experience are going to make a better and more informed decision, than a medical provider that specializes in taking care of children.
Yes. You should both read the inserts together, just like you would for any medicine. Then decide. You don’t actively talk to your husband about your child?