Hello! This happened about a month ago but I cant stop thinking about it so I will ask you guys about it.
So for context, my mother is from a country outside the US and has a heavy accent, my father also has an accent from the country he is from. (I keep both of them secret just for my own privacy) I was born in America but of course have been raised by both of my parents my whole life, and even got taught my fathers first language on the side of English. All the while I go to public and private schools grouping up with different types of children throughout the years, but all of them spoke English. I also have done acting for around 9 years and sometimes other accents were involved.
Now me and my mother were having a small disagreement over our cats, and then she suddenly says this “and stop copying my accent! You aren’t fucking |her culture|!!”
This honestly caught me off guard-
“what? sorry, I didn’t mean to talk like that- I really didn’t notice”
“You do! You know what you are doing! You are mocking me!”
She never commented on this before until now, I genuine don’t notice when I do and when I do notice no one usually cares or I get teased for it (lovingly). But I honestly feel bad, so internet AITA for copying my mothers accent?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
Hello! This happened about a month ago but I cant stop thinking about it so I will ask you guys about it.
So for context, my mother is from a country outside the US and has a heavy accent, my father also has an accent from the country he is from. (I keep both of them secret just for my own privacy) I was born in America but of course have been raised by both of my parents my whole life, and even got taught my fathers first language on the side of English. All the while I go to public and private schools grouping up with different types of children throughout the years, but all of them spoke English. I also have done acting for around 9 years and sometimes other accents were involved.
Now me and my mother were having a small disagreement over our cats, and then she suddenly says this “and stop copying my accent! You aren’t fucking |her culture|!!”
This honestly caught me off guard-
“what? sorry, I didn’t mean to talk like that- I really didn’t notice”
“You do! You know what you are doing! You are mocking me!”
She never commented on this before until now, I genuine don’t notice when I do and when I do notice no one usually cares or I get teased for it (lovingly). But I honestly feel bad, so internet AITA for copying my mothers accent?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Clearly I appeared to be having the same accent as my mothers culture, yet I wasn’t born there.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
How are you copying your mother‘s accent if you guys are from the same culture?
Im assuming she feels that’s way because, you have a natural American accent? But you’re are not the asshole. You are your mother’s kid. So her saying her culture is not you’re is kind of silly
NTA. My father was from Galveston, Texas, so sometimes I’ll start speaking in a Texas twang even though I have lived in California since 1971.
What you hear, you repeat, so if you hear a certain accent a lot, you’ll speak with that accent.
NTA.
OP, your mother is quite literally gaslighting you. Like, dictionary definition gaslighting. You picked up that accent from your mother and don’t always notice when you switch into that accent. Don’t let your mother make you question your sanity when you know your own truth.
NTA at all!! If this outburst is out of character for her, maybe she’s going through something but also that’s so not fair to you but I’m shocked she would say that in the first place if you grew up around her accent obviously you’ll pick it up as I did with my parents
I’ve known a couple people who had their parents’ accent instead of the local accent, or at least a blend of the local accent with their parents’ accent. This is a thing that happens, and our accents can even shift depending on mood, situation, memories, etc. Since a lot of people don’t ever notice their own accent, NTA.
From what she said, it sounds like this has been bugging her for a while. Your best bet to resolve it is probably to ask her to talk at a time when you’re both calm. I’d suggest apologizing along the lines of, “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I don’t really understand what I was doing that hurt you, could you please help me so I can not do it again?” Note that this has to come from, “I want to understand,” and not, “Let me explain how you’re wrong.”
It also sounds like she doesn’t feel like you’re very connected to her culture. Asking her to share more of her culture with you could help resolve that side of things while giving the two of you something to bond over.
… nta. i grew up in california but my accent is a mix of californian, canadian, french, spanish, and new yorker because of who i grew up around. you will naturally mimic the accent of those around you. it’s normal.
NAH perhaps you unwittingly pick up some of your mom’s accent while speaking with her?
My accent shifts. My family isn’t from where I grew up and I got mainly their accent with a bit of local. But if I’m talking to my extended family I shift to more like them and when I’m with my friends I probably have a more local with hints of foreign accent. It’s normal for people who have parents with different accents to where they are. And you shift without realising it. Like I didn’t realise how much more of my family’s accent I take when talking to them until a friend heard it and I was like oh that makes sense. Also for me I go more my mums accent around pets or children because I’m doing child speak voice and to me that’s my mums accent.
Nta how are you not her culture if she is. And people pick up accents of those around them.