I (29M) married to a 29F and her behaviour/attitude toward things started irretating ms.
For example: I bought something for the house that didnt fit 100% as we expected a week ago, and since then, literally every time she uses it (several times a day) she keeps repeating the same words “omg this is so shitty how did you get it! we need another one”.. I swallowed that the first couple of times and then got angry and throw the thing away and told her to stop repeating herself over the same thing x100 times a day and that I understand the point now!
Another instance, YOUTUBE ADS.. everytime a youtube ad comes up she starts insulting youtube like “fuckin youtube you whores stop showing ads” 4 times an hour maybe (we keep background noise on youtube and of course several ads come up during the time).. I told her to stop as this attitude started exhausting me a lot mentally! Like today i was gaming and went out on her screaming and was like heyy whats going on everything okay? she replied yea its just another stupid youtube ad!!
Many other examples in my mind but lets go to the point here. Since I started critisizing and telling her to stop this behaviour, everytime she gets super angry and we end up with a big fight which concludes of course that its my bad and i cant control what she says and how she behaves on things even if x100 a day.
PS: sorry english is not my first language..
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I (29M) married to a 29F and her behaviour/attitude toward things started irretating ms.
For example: I bought something for the house that didnt fit 100% as we expected a week ago, and since then, literally every time she uses it (several times a day) she keeps repeating the same words “omg this is so shitty how did you get it! we need another one”.. I swallowed that the first couple of times and then got angry and throw the thing away and told her to stop repeating herself over the same thing x100 times a day and that I understand the point now!
Another instance, YOUTUBE ADS.. everytime a youtube ad comes up she starts insulting youtube like “fuckin youtube you whores stop showing ads” 4 times an hour maybe (we keep background noise on youtube and of course several ads come up during the time).. I told her to stop as this attitude started exhausting me a lot mentally! Like today i was gaming and went out on her screaming and was like heyy whats going on everything okay? she replied yea its just another stupid youtube ad!!
Many other examples in my mind but lets go to the point here. Since I started critisizing and telling her to stop this behaviour, everytime she gets super angry and we end up with a big fight which concludes of course that its my bad and i cant control what she says and how she behaves on things even if x100 a day.
PS: sorry english is not my first language..
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> Everytime I tell my wife to stop complaining she gets angry at me and we fight
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, and you may look for a divorce since it will only get worse from now on. Peoples bad sides are always getting worse with time into a relationship thats not working out for one or both partners.
Your wife sounds annoying, exhausting and does not know how to communicate properly since she starts arguing as soon as you criticize her. You do not need to share your life with people that make you feel like this. If you want, tell her its either her attitude thats changing or your address.
Bro just pay for premium.
NTA but you should probably work with her to fix whatever she’s complaining about.
Sounds like she has other frustrations that are manifesting through that and she isn’t talking about it . Sit down and ask her what’s been bothering her.
How long did you date before you got married? Did you look together before the wedding? Was this behaviour you didn’t know about, or was it something that you saw and figured you could deal with?
Info: Was she always like this, even in the beginning of your relationship? Have you ever sat down with her and asked her to listen to your worries?
It’s possible she’s struggling with something else and it’s manifesting as frustration and negativity. One thing is for sure: she definitely has some room to grow when it comes to communicating and processing her emotions. Over-the-top reactions to small things (like annoying ads) can be indicative of some kind of mental health problem as well.
Without more info, NTA, but I wouldn’t jump straight to divorce. If you love her, and she loves you, this is one of the many parts of married life that you’ll have to navigate and learn from together.
ESH, it sounds like you don’t like each other at all.
You are NTA, but kindly tell her how you feel; otherwise, little issues become big.
BTW Get a VPN. If you change your location to Albania, you won’t see any ads
NTA
Everyone gets shit wrong with house stuff
Likewise ime YT brings up loads of that stuff.
The question imho, you need to ask yourself is, bearing in mind that life is finite, not endless.
How much longer do you choose or want to be unhappy in this relationship & situation?
NTA. Sounds like your wife has anger and/or control issues.
INFO: What’s the household item that didn’t fit? Sounds like you picked it out, but your wife is the one who uses it. Did you both decide on it together, or did you decide for her and now she’s stuck with something that doesn’t function properly?
Someone who constantly complains about everything is irritating beyond belief, but someone with a legitimate complaint about a couple of specific things maybe deserves to be heard and/or the two of you need to solve the problem. If you watch a ton of YouTube, can you purchase the ad-free option? If you bought something that doesn’t fit/doesn’t work as expected, can you return it and get a different version or donate your current one and buy the version that fits/works?
If your wife does constantly complain, whine, or make unhappy comments, pick a time when you’re both in reasonably good moods and have a talk with her. Tell her that you’ve noticed she seems to be unhappy with a lot of things lately and that she seems to be voicing her unhappiness often. Ask if there’s something going on with her, maybe some other part of her life that’s making her stressed or upsetting her in some way. Be sure to really listen to her and not just be mentally preparing your response.
If she tells you that certain things are causing problems for her, ask if she needs to vent or if she wants to brainstorm ideas together to make things easier. (I say this because sometimes people just want to feel heard and validated, and if you jump in with unsolicited suggestions, they take it as criticism and shut down.) Hopefully, you can get to a better place where she doesn’t feel the need to complain so much.
If she denies being unhappy or uses this as a springboard to complain about or attack you, end the conversation quickly and regroup. You might try again another time or two, or even suggest short-term marital counseling to see if this can be resolved. But if she’s angry or unhappy and is unwilling to work on it, or blames you unfairly for it, then you may have to decide if you want to continue having such a draining, negative person around you all the time.
Nta. She needs to understand that adult are responsible for regulating their emotions in a healthy way and not dumping them out over everyone else unfiltered and without regard to others. She needs professional help and to be accountable for her own choices. If she doesn’t care about you or others in general, you have a bigger problem. You do not need to tolerate this behavior from anyone.
INFO: im going to be honest, you purposefully being vague with your own behavior but insisting your wife will rant and rave about minor things doesnt spark confidence in me that you’re the most reliable narrator.
what is it you bought for the house? has she always been so easily upset? is there a chance she’s joking / its minor annoyance rather than “oh my FUCKING GOD this is SO ANNOYING”?
you know your wife and your relationship better than internet people do, but why didnt you tell your wife that her negativity was bothering you? you say she gets SUPER angry often, was this a thing that happened before you got into the relationship? are all your fights blowout fights? etc etc etc.
NTA. Something else is really bugging her and these are just minor triggers.
Kinda sounds like she has anger issues.