This is my first time posting- so hopefully I’ve done it right. I’m a long time listener and love the poddy!
Anyway….
So this is kinda weird but here we go…
I (31F) had a baby 10 weeks ago. One morning, just for laughs, I squirted a bit of breastmilk into my partner’s (38M) coffee. We both cracked up — and then he drank it, looked me dead in the eye, and said it was the best coffee he’d ever had.
And so, the era of the “Titty Latte” was born.
Since then, every single morning without fail, he’s asked for his daily Titty Latte like he’s ordering from some boutique hipster café. It was funny at first, but now it’s getting a little… out of hand. I’m exclusively breastfeeding our baby, and every drop of milk really counts. I just don’t have the supply to keep making boutique boob coffees and feed our actual child.
I told him I can’t keep giving him Titty Lattes, and while he’s not angry, he’s genuinely devastated. Now every morning he drinks his boring regular coffee with big sad puppy eyes, dramatically sighing about how it “tastes like dishwater and broken dreams.”
I feel a bit bad because it did become a weird little bonding ritual for us (parenthood makes you weird, I swear), but at the same time — our baby needs it way more than his taste buds do.
So… AITA for cutting off his Titty Latte supply to prioritize feeding our baby?
(Also, I cannot believe this is my real life. Send help.)
(Yes, I know how weird this sounds. No, he’s not weird otherwise. Just very, very enthusiastic about his coffee.)
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: So this is kinda weird but here we go…
I (31F) had a baby 10 weeks ago. One morning, just for laughs, I squirted a bit of breastmilk into my partner’s (38M) coffee. We both cracked up — and then he drank it, looked me dead in the eye, and said it was the best coffee he’d ever had.
And so, the era of the “Titty Latte” was born.
Since then, every single morning without fail, he’s asked for his daily Titty Latte like he’s ordering from some boutique hipster café. It was funny at first, but now it’s getting a little… out of hand. I’m exclusively breastfeeding our baby, and every drop of milk really counts. I just don’t have the supply to keep making boutique boob coffees and feed our actual child.
I told him I can’t keep giving him Titty Lattes, and while he’s not angry, he’s genuinely devastated. Now every morning he drinks his boring regular coffee with big sad puppy eyes, dramatically sighing about how it “tastes like dishwater and broken dreams.”
I feel a bit bad because it did become a weird little bonding ritual for us (parenthood makes you weird, I swear), but at the same time — our baby needs it way more than his taste buds do.
So… AITA for cutting off his Titty Latte supply to prioritize feeding our baby?
(Also, I cannot believe this is my real life. Send help.)
(Yes, I know how weird this sounds. No, he’s not weird otherwise. Just very, very enthusiastic about his coffee.)
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Y’all have a sweet relationship, this is hilarious. But he’s gotta understand that babes comes first!
Y’all are fucking weird.
Nta. Just because he has a breast milk fetish doesn’t mean you baby should potentially go hungry so that you parent coffee taste “better” for them. If the coffee taste like dishwater they can buy better coffee, new coffee maker and bottles water to make it taste better
This is pretty funny. Hopefully your supply goes up and he can start having those lattes again lol
Turn it around on him and ask him for a cum coffee. See how willing he is to do that multiple times a day. I’m sure after a few times the novelty will wear off. I breast fed for a year and because I worked and commuted to school, every drop was precious. If I wasn’t feeding the baby , i was pumping. His fetish is less important than feeding your child.
Nah you’re cool. If you cant give him extra milk, you can’t do it.
But won’t that technically decrease a little bit of your milk, since you’re not pumping out as much milk as before. So your body might adjust and decrease the amount you’re producing overall?
I guess it depends on how much you pumping out?
I can’t believe I’m the first one here. What a post.
Uh, NTA. Your titties, your rules. Since you had some fun too, maybe you hit him with one as a random surprise once a month to keep the magic of the Titty Latte alive.
But he can’t demand it like you’re literally a cow to be milked, what’s his plan when this kid grows?
He doesn’t get to complain here, about anything.
“genuinely devastated”
Adding titty latte to my bucket list now
I’d ask him if it’s more the intimate connection of this and not the actual lacking breastmilk that he’s sad about. It’s so hard with a new baby and maybe this was the first bit of your intimate relationship he’s seeing come back (because another human is 100% dependent on you) and he likes that.
Get him some condensed milk. Might be a good substitute. (Never had titty latte so can’t say for sure but just a hypothesis)
Wtf is wrong with men. I cannot.
Lol he’ll get over it wtf
NTA and I’m sure this is all in good fun. He’ll survive. 😂
If you’re a drinker and your production lasts to the pump and dump phase, offer to save that for him. I’m pretty sure he’s just using it to see your boobs more. Particularly if you’re still in the post natal abstinence phase.
Obviously, NTA. Just popping by to say this is hilarious. Wrap a jar of Ovaltine as a gag gift. It tripled my supply 😆.
It’s not necessarily a fetish it just honestly tastes better than any milk you can find in any store. It comes with a natural sweetness and doesn’t upset your stomach if you’re lactose. NTA but those sad eyes are genuine.
NTA and honestly I just want to be a part of this post… because 😂😂😂.
I used mine as a weapon while I BF’d my girls. DH would get cranky or what have you and I’d whip one out and squirt him in the eye. My aim was impeccable with these bad bitches…and they could diffuse a bad mood like magic for babies and husband.
NTA, this is actually really funny.
Put baby formula in the coffee instead. Say oops I guess my milk is going bad lol
I don’t think I’d want to have sex with him ever again.
Nta. Gross.
No, you’re not the asshole. Your husband is for acting like a petulant child about his baby’s food source. It’s not for him. He’s not in competition with the baby and he’s not entitled to your body.
I’d put $5 on him getting off on this thing with how immature he’s acting about being cut off from it.
NTA, the milk is for he baby.
>I squirted a bit of breastmilk into my partner’s (38M) coffee. We both cracked up — and then he drank it, looked me dead in the eye, and said it was the best coffee he’d ever had. And so, the era of the “Titty Latte” was born.
This is hilarious, as an avid coffee drinker I’m genuinely curious just how GOOD the coffee is.
>“tastes like dishwater and broken dreams.”
A bit dramatic but I get it, when you find really good coffee your day just don’t feel right without it.
Lol, I ran out of milk and I needed a half cup for cornbread. I used breastmilk cause I really wanted that cornbread. My husband raved that it was the best cornbread ever. 🤣 I don’t think it’s weird, I’m sure both of you have had worse things in your mouth. I honestly had too much supply after about 5 months, I sometimes just wasted it taking a hot shower.
Imagine pouting cus you want to have fun more than you want your baby fed. NTA.
Heavy cream might be the answer.
Obvious AI bullshit. God is this what Reddit is now?
I hate your husband so much and I hate you for enabling this. NTA, but also EIGAFH.
As a woman breastfeeding my 1.5 year old, who’s also recently gone through the struggles of establishing a supply … I highly recommend the Haakaa (original) or Medela (cheaper but good) passive breastfeeding pump. NO battery. It’s a clear silicone one-piece thing, you kinda flip the top inside out and put it on the breast that baby is NOT drinking from, and it passively sucks/collects milk so you can store it. For baby or for whatever other purpose. I got more out of it than I got when I pumped, and it’s done at the same time as feeding babe, so no wasted extra time! Great to toss in freezer bags or whatever also.
There are other cheaper brands but having the right texture of silicone is important to get ENOUGH but not PAINFUL suction.
Anyways, I mention this because it’s my most loved “gadget” from feeding my peanut and I hope it can make your life easier in some way.
Sending care and support. Best of luck.
Also, NTA.
NTA but he’s a jerk!! “Sad eyes” grow up for God’s sake!!
That is not what I thought this was going to be about lol. From the title I assumed he was going to bikini coffee shops daily or something.
No, obviously your baby’s needs come first. He needs to maybe look into trying other types of milk if he doesn’t like the one he’s using.
If you let skim milk soak in Frosted Flakes for ten minutes and absorb the sweet and vitamin flavors /strain. That’s what breast milk tastes like. Have him try my recipe and let me know what he thinks. No he can’t demand milk. That’s unheard of. It’s nice that he likes it. You never know. I still make milk if I’m around a crying baby too long. You also might never completely stop either. Nta
Nta, but I think he’s a very light ah. He’s gotta stop guilting you. Especially if you don’t have a super plentiful supply.
Put the pump on him and let him see on bad it feels
This is great! NTA but if you produce enough than why not?
Try some fresh goat milk from a farm, it’s seriously superior to cows milk. Store bought goat milk isn’t the same, has to be farm fresh.
As an atheists, it’s weirding even ME out that the knee-jerk reaction is has was “yall mothafuckas need Jesus”
My fiancé and I read the title and we both locked in what we thought this post would be about. I won.
That being said, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. My aunt, when she was breast feeding and having supply issues, breast fed her two kids at the same time or switching boobs which increased her flow. Not sure if it’ll work for you, but you can try it if it’s safe for you or if you’re inclined to. Otherwise, hubby has to prioritise the baby. Maybe later on you can resume his specialty lattes. 💀
Woah.
Is your partner Homelander?
Logistically, the more you express, the more milk you’ll make. If your issue is supply, then rest assured you’ll make enough to accommodate the Titty Latte.
Someone once told me all milk is the same but it just has different percentages of what it’s comprised of…. Not relevant but maybe
Breastmilk tastes like the milk left over after you eat a sugary cereal. Just tell him to add some extra sugar to his coffee and it should be similar. NAH since he’s not being mean about it
Just tell him to add more sugar. Breast milk is sweeter tasting than regular.
If you’re titties are anything like my wife’s, you’ll be able to resume the tittie lattes in a few months. You’ll have more than you’ll know what to do with.
That said, this is a bit weird. But, hey! You do you.
NTA baby gets all the milk and needs back up supply. He is a grown man who should understand feeding his child takes priority to whatever you call his fixation on your breast milk in his coffee
Buy a coffee syrup for his morning, I swear it will taste like heaven and sweet dreams
So, maybe it’s time you and your husband have a long talk about kinks. Because his sadness and begging over such a trivial and easily dealt with thing as coffee flavour makes zero sense unless it’s a kink thing. Not shaming, just saying.
fetish post
So let me ask, how much titty milk are we talking about here?
Like…a latte? Homie getting a 1/2 cup?
Plop a box of Mothers Milk tea in front of him and tell him if he can’t go without it then he should get growin’
NTA
He’s had his fun but he is kinda acting like a douche bag. Guilt tripping you and stealing from your baby…
Better tape up your nips at night, never can trust a man after booby milk!
NTA. Even if it tastes good, he doesn’t need those nutrients, your baby does
Let’s call it Boob Lattes instead of Titty Lattes! Boob Lattes sounds so much classier. Literally rolls of your tongue…. Boob Lattes, Boob Lattes, Boob latté, Boob laa_tte!
Tell him it’s expensive so he’ll appreciate them more. Not like every coffee shop has them. ☕😉😄
NTA!
This is adorable. You are not an AH first. Second, as a mamma whose baby was exclusively fed breast milk. (I pumped) it’s also your job to make sure you baby has all they need. Maybe one day you have more production than others, and that day, he gets a cup of joy and titty milk. But until then, he will have to deal. He can be upset, and still supoort the fact that you have to feed your baby. Both can be true. But you make the rules of your body. You are doing fabulous, Mamma.
Y’all are weird and sweet. Please stay that way.
Just tell him to trade his coffee with the child. Boom.
You’re definitely NTA as baby should get first priority, but man this made me laugh. Reminds me when I threatened my brothers to one day have them over and provide an all dairy made spread of foods made from my breast milk. The uncomfortable look on their face was priceless.
“I’m sorry, but since when is your coffee more important than feeding OUR child?”
NTA
This is so funny, I can’t believe this is real. Obviously NTA. Has he tried any other kinds of milk? Like maybe goat milk or something might taste more similar? Since it was so revolutionary for him, he should try to find some other new additive he likes.