Our grandma left my sister (31F) and me (28F) $50k each last year. I used mine to pay off debt and save for a house, while my sister immediately dumped hers into some shady “wellness coaching” selling overpriced detox teas. Six months later, she’s completely broke and hitting me up for a $10k “loan” because her “business partner” ghosted her. This is the same sister who swore her last “can’t fail” venture (that eyelash extension course she quit after three weeks) was totally different, not to mention the crypto phase where she lost $15k in Dogecoin. She still owes me $327 from when she desperately needed Beats headphones for her “podcast studio” that never materialized. When I told her no this time, she went straight to the family group chat playing victim. Now I’m getting texts from our mom about “family sticking together” and our aunt calling me selfish, even though none of them have ever given her a dime. I’m done being her safety net, if she can afford luxury spa days to “reward her hustle,” she can figure her own shit out. But the guilt trips are working, and part of me wonders if I should just give in one last time.
AITA for finally saying no?
AITA for cutting off my sister after she blew through her inheritance and came begging for more money?
r/AITAH
Comments
And to add, Ik exactly how this would go. she’d blow through the 10k in a month m, then comeback asking for “just a little more” to “get back on her feet” again
You notice how it’s always an ask until some one says “No” then it becomes an order?
NTA
Your family are though
“No” is a complete sentence.
Definitely NTA don’t give in to the pressure to give her money. Like you say she’ll be back in the future begging again set your boundaries of not giving out money so you don’t need to deal with her begging for the next few decades.
NTA. I wouldn’t let my sister be homeless but she’s definitely not getting 10k after blowing money away
NTA
You “spent” your inheritance, as well. Yours just went towards debt and investments.
“Sorry, but I spent my inheritance. Also, Sis still owes me money from the last loan I gave her.”
NTA tell all the family if it’s so important for family to help family then they can give her money.
NTA inform the enablers theyre free to step up and finance your sisters delusions…
If your aunt thinks you’re selfish, I take it she’s willing to dig deep and help your sister out?!
Family should help family, but that doesn’t extend to bankrupting yourself because your sister lost out on yet another harebrained scheme!
No NTA, but can say the same for you sister & aunt
Her financial irresponsibility is not your problem to solve, especially when she’s blowing cash on spa days. Don’t light your money on fire for her. NTA
NTA
Get on the family group chat and remind them about your sister’s history with these various schemes and that she already owes you money.
You can suggest that other family members can now step up to help her since “family sticks together”.
I’ll bet the family-helps-family is suddenly not an issue if everybody else got voluntold to fork up the money.
NTA. She blew her inheritance, owes u money, amd keeps making bad choices. You’re mot her bank. Let the family calling u selfish help her instead.
NTA. Just say no. If that’s too hard, say you don’t have any money to give. You spent it all paying off your debts and still have debt.
This is exactly why no one in my family knows if I have money or not. My answer is no to giving out money.
NTA. You are entirely within your rights to protect your own future and not fund her endless string of bad investments and “hustles.”
I’d tell Mom to give her the money and then the last message I’d send both of them would be. “Thanks for letting me know you care more about money than our relationship. I care more about money too, and it’s mine, so I’m keeping it.”
You’re only the asshole if you keep indulging her whims.
NTA, tell all your family that everyone should ‘loan’ your sister an equal amount of money because ‘family sticks together’.
No
NTA
Just deflect it back to them and watch their heads explode.
“She’s not my kid.”
“Then you give her money.”
Or the ultimate rage bait, just say “no, you.” Like a toddler until your mom has a mental breakdown, then turn your phone off.
Irrational requests and behavior don’t get to sit at the table and get treated like they’re rational, lucid thoughts. They deserved to be treated like the infantile delusions they are.
List all of those things on the group chat, then ask, ‘who would seriously lend her more money to lose?’
“No” is a full sentence. If your family and aunt are so bothered, they can fund her lifestyle.
NTA
Call out your hypocrite family and respond, “great I’ll let her know to go to you and ask for that $50k she doesn’t deserve since family sticks together”.
Don’t give her shit.
This whole “family helps family” trope is so worn out now that these posts seem made up.
On the assumption that this is real, mom should front the money since she is so invested in “family sticking together”. Conditional NTA as long as this is real.
NTA. Your sister can fuck off.
INFO: Why does she know how much of the inheritance you have left? Start keeping info to yourself and you won’t have these problems. You already know how she is. Tell her you spent it.
NTA, if family is so important to them, why aren’t they pooling their money together to help her?
Never let anyone guilt you into something they would not do themselves.
Your money is gone. And you should tell everyone that. There is nothing there to give.
NO – The end
They can spend it on her this time. Your mother and aunt are dumb asf if they think giving 10k is a small feat (and they probably know this because they won’t do it themselves).
Your sister can go on a tantrum and annoy others so go live your life. Go low contact with anyone who sides with her and completely shut her off.
Detox that toxin.
Why are you letting these people intimidate you? I would have a family group chat and tell them exactly what you told us here at Reddit. Then I would tell them if you want her to have money you loan it to her I’m done. Don’t be a fool you get money like that once in a lifetime you’ll never get that kind of money from anybody ever again most likely no don’t give it to your sister. Don’t let her intimidate you don’t let this family intimidate you you don’t owe your family. anything you’ve done enough for your sister Now it’s your turn to get what you need and what you want. Keep your money to yourself and tell her no stand strong.
NTA. Your sister is looking for a “get rich quick” scheme. She’s too lazy to build a foundation for a real career. Stop enabling her. Keep your hard-earned money to yourself. She’s a mooch.
NTA. The fact that the people guilting you about not giving her money have not themselves given her money tells you what you need to know. She’s not homeless and starving. Let her figure her own stuff out.
Does she have adhd? It sounds like she might.
But NTA. You both got the same amount and you both chose what to do with it now you both have to deal with the consequences of those choices. I wouldn’t be giving her any money.
NTA at all. She had her money and spent it. Going through similar with my sister who blew 120k in 14 months.
Do you plan on being your sister’s bank for life? Serious question. Cause if you so you know you can set it up so that a certain amount of money goes into her account every time you get paid. Guilt is nothing but manipulation with a granny dress on. Stop falling for it cause if you were in that position they wouldn’t help you. So the time someone drops that family helps family card, tell them your taking up a collection to help your sister and how many people is will to give. And when they say they don’t have and they will you use the exact same line to them well family helps family
NTA – there is no such thing as “one last time helping out” with someone like her. She’s always going to treat you like an ATM.
Just tell her you no longer have anything to spare because she’s finally burned through your extra cash the same way she burnt through hers. The cash you currently have on hand isn’t spare and is technically already spent because it’s going towards a specific goal.
If it’s so important to your mom and aunt, then they can help her because they’re family, too.
AI story! It’s good though.