English is not my first language, I tried my best, but sorry if they’re still some mistakes.
My parents were watching my kids(6M and 7F) for a few days, Sunday till Wednesday, while my partner and I were working. They were staying with my parents at a camping ground in an other city (120 Km away – about 75 miles) . On Monday, my dad (kids’ grandpa) had a sudden medical emergency and had to be taken to the hospital. During that time, my mom (kids’ grandma) left our kids in the care of two of their camping friends (let’s call them M & S) for about an hour.
We learned about the medical situation on Tuesday afternoon. While we receive a lot of pictures of the kids on tuesday morning, my mom assured us everything was going fine, and never mentionned the hospitalisation.
Here’s the problem: we don’t know M & S, and my parents never told us this happened. We only found out over 24 hours later, when I started asking specific questions about who was watching the kids during the hospital trip.
When I confronted them, they said it was a “force majeure” situation and assumed we’d understand. I told them I would have understood if they had told us at the time, but finding out afterward meant that if there had been an emergency, we wouldn’t even know who had our kids.
When asked how long our kids were in M & S care, they kept downplaying it (first saying “about an hour,” later “only 5 minutes at the hospital”). When I told I wanted the kids back immediatly, the emotional pressure started : “Don’t do this to your kids, they’ll be so sad” and “You’ll ruin their fun.” I told them to stop the emotional blackmail and that we wanted the kids back.
They refused at first, saying they’d bring them back the next day as planned. I warned that if they didn’t return the kids that night, I would contact the authorities. Only then did they agree, and we picked up our kids that evening from the campground. We don’t own a vehicle, so we had to take an Uber to the camping ground which cost us over $300 CAD. Not a problem, my kids safety is far more important than 300 bucks, but still, it carves a hole in our budget.
Now they say I “overreacted” and “hurt the kids” by ending the visit early. From my perspective, they violated a major boundary we had already discussed in the past and withheld important information for more than a day.
AITA for insisting on getting my kids back right away instead of letting them stay one more night?
*Edit: typo
*Edit #2: added the age of the kids
Comments
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English is not my first language, I tried by best, but sorry if they’re still some mistakes.
My parents were watching my kids for a few days, Sunday till Wednesday, while my partner and I were working. They were staying with my parents at a camping ground in an other city (120 Km away – about 75 miles) . On Monday, my dad (kids’ grandpa) had a sudden medical emergency and had to be taken to the hospital. During that time, my mom (kids’ grandma) left our kids in the care of two of their camping friends (let’s call them M & S) for about an hour.
We learned about the medical situation on Tuesday afternoon. While we receive a lot of pictures of the kids on tuesday morning, my mom assured us everything was going fine, and never mentionned the hospitalisation.
Here’s the problem: we don’t know M & S, and my parents never told us this happened. We only found out over 24 hours later, when I started asking specific questions about who was watching the kids during the hospital trip.
When I confronted them, they said it was a “force majeure” situation and assumed we’d understand. I told them I would have understood if they had told us at the time, but finding out afterward meant that if there had been an emergency, we wouldn’t even know who had our kids.
When asked how long our kids were in M & S care, they kept downplaying it (first saying “about an hour,” later “only 5 minutes at the hospital”). When I told I wanted the kids back immediatly, the emotional pressure started : “Don’t do this to your kids, they’ll be so sad” and “You’ll ruin their fun.” I told them to stop the emotional blackmail and that we wanted the kids back.
They refused at first, saying they’d bring them back the next day as planned. I warned that if they didn’t return the kids that night, I would contact the authorities. Only then did they agree, and we picked up our kids that evening from the campground. We don’t own a vehicle, so we had to take an Uber to the camping ground which cost us over $300 CAD. Not a problem, my kids safety is far more important than 300 bucks, but still, it carves a hole in our budget.
Now they say I “overreacted” and “hurt the kids” by ending the visit early. From my perspective, they violated a major boundary we had already discussed in the past and withheld important information for more than a day.
AITA for insisting on getting my kids back right away instead of letting them stay one more night?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole for overreacting, being overdramatic and cutting short the camping trip.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA-Even in an emergency someone should have taken a few minutes to let you know who had your children. Leaving them with strangers has consequences.
INFO: do your parents know M&S from before this trip?
INFO: You mentioned that you set that boundary before. Was it something that they would assume that you would blow up hearing all that and by that delaying your father’s visit to the hospital?
M&S were friends of your parents so I think, leaving them by them isn’t that big of a deal in an emergency. But I agree that not informing you (at least after the emergency scare) was a violation of your trust to them
INFO: How old are the kids??
Not informing you is the issue. Nta
NTA at the moment, what grandparents did was what they had to do but the second they lied about it to you- that is the problem.
I personally would take a break from them for a bit and work on communication and boundaries because it sounds like they are using the children’s happiness to manipulate you.
YTA but in some cases that’s exactly what parenting calls for. Your kids, your rules.
I can see if it eas emergency they had no choice yo leave them with friends buy they should contact u let you know so u can plan on getting them
What’s the important boundary you discussed before because without that info I’m going with YTA
Yes, it’s not favourable that your children ere left with people you don’t know, but your parents did know them and it was a medical emergency? Was it the type of emergency that’s very time sensitive, like a stroke or a heart attack? Would you rather they spend 5 minutes contacting you and risking someone dying?