AITA for ‘denying my white heritage’?

r/

I [21m] am full, 100% Indian. Both of my parents are immigrants from India, and I’ve even taken a DNA thing that confirmed that yes, I am indian.

However, people always are surprised with this and insist I have some white in me because I have green eyes and am tall.

And when I say deny, they actively insist to my face that I’m part white and have to be because of my features. This literally isn’t the case, and I’ve showed my genetic test results to prove it, but they keep insisting.

I have an acquaintance who for some reason always brings it up, and I blew up at him for it yesterday because i’ve asked him to stop many times before. He said I was an AH for acting that way, but I’m just tired of the constant assumption.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    Original copy of post’s text by /u/Separate_Media5045:
    I [21m] am full, 100% Indian. Both of my parents are immigrants from India, and I’ve even taken a DNA thing that confirmed that yes, I am indian.

    However, people always are surprised with this and insist I have some white in me because I have green eyes and am tall.

    And when I say deny, they actively insist to my face that I’m part white and have to be because of my features. This literally isn’t the case, and I’ve showed my genetic test results to prove it, but they keep insisting.

    I have an acquaintance who for some reason always brings it up, and I blew up at him for it yesterday because i’ve asked him to stop many times before. He said I was an AH for acting that way, but I’m just tired of the constant assumption.

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  2. Red40isdeath Avatar

    NTA and your acquaintance is. He has some pre-conceived notion based on prejudice and is insisting his prejudiced idea is correct.

  3. _Helar_ Avatar

    NTA of course.

    I always find it strange, when ppl constantly bring something that others many times ask not to. Thankfully it never happened in my life.

  4. nw826 Avatar

    Tell acquaintance that he needs to go back to high school biology to learn about genetics. NTA

  5. DameofDames Avatar

    https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/1enp9mp/what_are_the_historical_and_genetic_origins_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

    Tell your buddies that you aren’t going to insult their intelligence by implying they can’t research genetic variations on their own, but you are gonna call them out for being lazy assholes who can’t stop making insinuation about who fucked who in your family.

  6. CakePhool Avatar

    NTA. Indians who are well fed can be very tall. There is a case in Sweden, 1 twin was adopted to Sweden and 1 stayed in India. The one in Sweden became 190 cm and the one stayed in India became 164 cm.

    Also Green and blue eyes exist in the indian population, it all depends on where in India you come from.

    My childhood friend was Indian and blue eyed and as adult 175 cm tall.

  7. Responsible-Side4347 Avatar

    namaste.

    Ive spent a fair amount of time in India and Ive met Indian people with green and blue eyes who genetically have zero Caucasian ancestor.

    Kashmiris have grey and green eyes so do Pashtuns, Kalash (where my ex wife family come from)

  8. Top-Spite-1288 Avatar

    NTA – Those claims of third parties trying to convince you of your “whiteness” sound quite racist to me. That acquaintance sounds like an AH, he shouldn’t deny his AH heritage. Maybe a DNA test would help him realise?

  9. JuJu-Petti Avatar

    Genetics are weird. They can skip generations. It depends a lot on your diet. What’s a dominant gene. What’s a recessive gene. A lot of people need to understand that skin color and eye color do not determine what your race is or what your genetic makeup is. The amount of melanin in your body comes a lot from your food. I was born with blue eyes and now my eyes are brown. However, it’s due to my diet. If I quit eating certain foods, my eyes get lighter and lighter and eventually they’re blue again. Which is really weird.

    I’ve seen a set of twins who did five DNA test from five different companies and they got 10 different results. So twins got different results. Then they got different results from each company that they went to. It’s why I never bothered to take the test. Either way, genetics are weird.

  10. Chefblogger Avatar

    i dont get this dna fixation thing – thats not important …
    its your life your choice
    NTA

  11. Goddamitdonut Avatar

    Weird you took a genetic test when both your parents are Indian 😂. That should be enough! 

  12. QueenAmarella Avatar

    NTA cause it’s clearly a personal thing for people to talk about and you obviously don’t want to. Plus why do people care so much? I know absolutely no one that gives a f*ck about anyone’s race and heritage. However no one is 100% something. It’s just not possible so if your test says 100%, your test isn’t accurate. Just cause your parents are from India, doesn’t make you 100% Indian. Looking at genetics and historical backgrounds from earlier generations that have moved around etc, it’s just not possible. But even if it’s 60%, even if it’s 30%, you’d still be Indian. Why is that person so invested in your DNA?

  13. Gary_Garibaldi Avatar

    Your friends sound stupid. If you go to the mountains in India you will see people with blue, yellow, green eyes. Humans migrated all over this earth taking genetic features. Maybe your white friends are part Indian.

  14. Successful_Gate4678 Avatar

    As a fellow fair-skinned desi (half Persian to boot), I’m finding it hard to believe this happens to you.

    My family are all racially ambiguous, and we’re mistaken for everything from Italian to Columbian to Turkish to Spanish etc, but no one outside of stormfront thinks or speaks this way.

    Sorry 🤨

  15. Infinite_Garbage_467 Avatar

    Dolt who said that was only taught Eugenics. NTA.

  16. vturn1 Avatar

    I’ve had people yell at me for denying my Hispanic heritage (I’m half) because I don’t speak Spanish. I can understand some because I grew up in So Cal and took classes so I can respond to some in English. But I didn’t grow up knowing that culture or language because my dad abandoned me and my mom when I was two months old. People are weird and you are NTA for getting tired of the constant nagging about it.

  17. ComfortableCicada611 Avatar

    So it’s a case of “I’m nothing to do with you country apart from the fact my parents came to live here to extortort your economy”

  18. skateboreder Avatar

    There are a lot of Indians with your features.

    If you’re from Punjab or up north …it’s not really even uncommon.

    NTA.

  19. skateboreder Avatar

    Ask your friends if they feel the same way about Persians from Iran?

    They’re pretty white.

  20. ArmGroundbreaking115 Avatar

    Acquaintances shouldn’t even feel comfortable enough to call you an AH or say things about your skin color. Drop the acquaintance.

  21. FLmom67 Avatar

    Sheesh. Your “friend” knows nothing about human evolution or migration. Yes, there are Indians–and Afghans and plenty of other people–who have lighter skin and eyes. You do not need to have any colonial heritage for that. Race is a social, not a biological, construct. Traits like skin color change in “clines,” like a topographical map. There’s no rigid lines.

  22. Impossible_Smile4113 Avatar

    NTA

    That is such a weird thing for people to comment on and be obsessed with. Who cares? Even if you were half white, half Indian, it’s none of their business unless you opt to share and discuss it with them.

  23. GoddessZaraThustra Avatar

    NTA. Whiteness is a construct. There was a time when Scottish and Irish people weren’t “white” in America. Now white people want to claim features they feel are superior as their own rather than just nationalities. It’s, frankly, fucking stupid.

    But it’s probably happening because you look awesome tall with Indian features and green eyes, so they’re trying to either claim you if they’re white, or other you if they’re not.

    Whiteness is, and always has been, an absurdity. Reject it all day. I wish I didn’t have to get lumped in with these assholes either.

  24. KWS1461 Avatar

    You showed him the genetics report, that is it! No more discussion should be needed.

  25. Secure_Radio3324 Avatar

    Who the fuck even cares?

    Given the obsession you and your friend have with genetics I’d say you’re both 100% American

  26. lisalef Avatar

    NTA. That acquaintance is, though. What’s it to him anyway. Tell him to shut up and mind his own business. Yikes.

  27. Ancient-Meal-5465 Avatar

    Green eyes are absolutely beautiful.

    Also people are stupid.

    I don’t understand why people have some pointless arguments with you.

    I had an Indian friend who was very very dark.  She was the genetic anomaly because her sisters were very pale skinned.   

    It’s genetics – it happens.  

  28. Few_Drink_1632 Avatar

    NTA. It is obviously very frustrating for your heritage to be misrepresented, but you’re giving people what they want, which is your energy. I think your acquaintance especially is just being disrespectful. Next time it’s brought up you should just say, “My heritage is Indian and that’s not up for debate or speculation.” Just shut the whole conversation down. It’s okay to set boundaries, especially when people disrespect your personhood. You’re not an AH for respecting yourself and your culture.

  29. ComfortNo408 Avatar

    I lived in India for many years. Northern Indians at times had to start talking before I realised they weren’t white as they had very European features, some even look Asian not South Asian. All Indians don’t look the same and depends what part of the country you are from as it’s a big place.

  30. Eyad2020a Avatar

    I’m Middle Eastern and my eyes are hazel with grey, green and brown and I have a fair complexion

    If someone says you can’t be due to my skin tone and eye colour I tell them well having fair skin and hazel eyes isn’t limited to being white

  31. BeginningBullfrog154 Avatar

    The world is full of ignorant people. When you come across another person who insists you are part white, don’t show them your genetic test results because IT IS NONE of THEIR BUSINESS. As for your acquaintance, who is not only ignorant but also rude and disrespectful, I would get as far away from him as possible.

    There are numerous examples of Indians with light skin and green eyes who do not have significant European ancestry. 

    “Lightening Alleles”:Some studies suggest that certain “lightening alleles” can have a multiplicative effect in South Asians, meaning that combinations of these alleles can result in lighter skin and eye color even without European admixture. 

  32. mangongo Avatar

    Let me guess, when you meet new people and finally break the ice, they all of a sudden just blurt out “Where are you from?”, then when they don’t get the answer they want, they respond with “No, where are you reaaaally from?”. 

    Yeah that shit gets old, and I don’t care if I answer bluntly or sarcastically to make them feel like a douche.

    NTA.

  33. Mald1z1 Avatar

    Lots of white people have the preconceived notion that non white people can’t naturally have light eyes. They put people in boxes in their minds and when they don’t fit instead of expanding their mind and rethinking their assumptions they think that person must be part white instead. 

    In my home country, in Africa, lots of people have light eyes. Its not super common but it’s not soooo rare that you never see it either. My uncle and cousin both have green eyes. 

  34. Senator_Bink Avatar

    NTA. Tell him you’re not interested in any more of his racist conversation. If he wants to talk about something else, fine.

  35. buntopolis Avatar

    Your friend should do some research on Proto-Indo-Europeans…

  36. mynameisnotsparta Avatar

    He’s the AH not you. What can’t people listen to a person when they say stop.. NTA.

  37. Famous-Restaurant875 Avatar

    Nta where I live there are a lot of blonde Mexicans and they get a lot of the same treatment. Most people do not understand how genetic works and not understanding something has never stopped them

  38. HRHValkyrie Avatar

    NTA. You benefit from white supremacy on a surface level because you are passing, but that isn’t the same as “being white.”

  39. soc2021 Avatar

    NTA. I actually think it’s insulting that your friend assumes that because you are tall with green eyes… you must be white. This is pure ignorance. It’s actually quite common to see Indians and south asians with green/blue eyes, also tall. I see and know Indians with green eyes all the time. Colored eyes aren’t exclusive to only white people lol

  40. OkManufacturer767 Avatar

    NTA

    “I’m not going to discuss my heritage with you. How was your weekend/your hobby/your sports team/latest tv movie you watched, etc.?”

    Next time

    “I said I wasn’t going to discuss this.” Leave if you have to. Block if it’s via text, etc.

  41. Excellent_Valuable92 Avatar

    Aishwarya Rai is one of the most internationally famous Indians

  42. greenbananaroach Avatar

    NTA. People can look like other races and not be that race. There was a Hispanic guy in my class (7th grade) who I thought was white but he wasn’t lmao. It happens.

  43. CaptainFartHole Avatar

    NTA. Sounds like your friend needs to quit denying his racist asshole heritage