My (29F) boyfriend (32M) and I have been together for 6 years & living with each other the entire time (long short: I moved in as a roommate via craigslist and we started seeing each other within days). I’ve had an IUD for 6.5 years now and didn’t get a period until this past December after we got in a motorcycle accident. I’ve since been getting them monthly. This past period was way worse than normal which I’m hoping is a result of the antidepressants I was prescribed last month for my post concussion migraines. I have been complaining about it a lot over the past few days and last night started crying in the ensuite bathroom (door was open b/c we were watching a show and I didn’t want him to pause it). He asked what was wrong and I said the blood is so painful. He then said I shouldn’t be discussing my period with him and he doesn’t want to hear about. I got really upset about it and told him I should be able to talk about it but he is adamant he doesn’t have to listen and told me to make an AITA post.
So AITA for wanting to discuss my period with my boyfriend?
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My (29F) boyfriend (32M) and I have been together for 6 years & living with each other the entire time (long short: I moved in as a roommate via craigslist and we started seeing each other within days). I’ve had an IUD for 6.5 years now and didn’t get a period until this past December after we got in a motorcycle accident. I’ve since been getting them monthly. This past period was way worse than normal which I’m hoping is a result of the antidepressants I was prescribed last month for my post concussion migraines. I have been complaining about it a lot over the past few days and last night started crying in the ensuite bathroom (door was open b/c we were watching a show and I didn’t want him to pause it). He asked what was wrong and I said the blood is so painful. He then said I shouldn’t be discussing my period with him and he doesn’t want to hear about. I got really upset about it and told him I should be able to talk about it but he is adamant he doesn’t have to listen and told me to make an AITA post.
So AITA for wanting to discuss my period with my boyfriend?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I tried to push my boyfriend to discuss my period, he thinks that it is not something he wants to hear about as bathroom talk shouldn’t be part of a relationship
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, he needs to grow up
nta men should be able to hear about periods if they want to have anything to do dating women or having daughters, he’s being a baby
nta.
get a new bf
NTA. Your bf is literally over 30 acting like a little boy.
NTA. He’s 32 and he can’t stand you talking about your period? Even though he isn’t the one going through the discomfort?
🚩
NTA. A normal boyfriend who cares about you would have said, “I’m sorry you’re in pain. Is there anything I can do.”
Ask him why you shouldn’t talk about your period with him? I’m guessing he doesn’t have a valid reason; his lack of a uterus is not a valid reason.
This is a red flag. Do you want to be with someone who acts like this when you’re in pain?
He’s 32 and can’t handle period talk? That’s so immature, I got the ick
NTA. Being in a committed partnership means that you can talk about things with your committed partner. Presumably your boyfriend is into you. This is something that affects you, and it’s something he asked about. It is a dick move to ask someone what’s wrong, and then when they tell you, act like you committed a faux pas.
NTA he’s 32 and you’ve been living together for 6 years and he’s still squicked out by perfectly natural bodily functions? He should have had empathy & concern that you were bleeding abnormally heavy and were in pain.
People are allowed to set boundaries but if my partner’s boundary was “I don’t care that you’re suffering, I’m not going to help and I don’t want to hear about it” they wouldn’t be my partner for long.
Tell your BF he’s acting like an immature AH. Glad he told you to post. Hope he sees the light.
NTA
NTA. If he thinks periods are too gross to acknowledge, wait till he finds out where babies come from..
Im a few years younger than him and i will actively talk to my partner about her period. It always starts when we are about to go on vacation🤣so i gotta make sure we have extra tampins
Its 2025, how are people still weird about natural bodily things
Edit: NTA, hes a major AH
NTA he’s an immature asshole who clearly has no empathy or compassion.
NTA it is something natural happening to your body, part of your life an therefore part of his. I believe that when you are in a relationship this also means being able to talk about what makes us uncomfortable and supporting each other.
NTA. Boyfriend’s take is insane. Was he raised in a monastery?
NTA, periods are a normal experience that almost every adult woman has. Your bf should be supportive, he’s a grown ass man who can handle some normal human physiology. Tell him that if he finds blood coming out of your vagina gross, you’re now grossed out by semen coming out of his penis – he should not talk about it, and much less ejaculate anywhere near you, ew. He’ll change his mind quickly.
NTA big red flag about his immaturity and possibly his opinions about women. I’ve been married for 20 years and my husband knows all about my periods and actively discusses things with me and helps me with stuff. Hell he’ll even wash my period underwear for me if I don’t need to do laundry yet but he does.
A mature man who is a real partner will be there for everything and will want to know because he cares about your health and experiences. Your BF is still stuck in the elementary phase of going “girls are icky and periods are gross”
nta your boyfriend is a loser for thinking he cant talk about some natural shit w his girl that shes gotta deal
NTA.. The bar is in hell with this one.
When I tell my husband I have my period, he buys me ice cream. Picks up tampons and pads if I need as well. Not trying to one up, I just want to show you that there are men out there who don’t act like children.
NTA for all the reasons listed above.
That said, if you are now getting regular periods, you may have dislodged the IUD from the uterine lining during the accident.
If you haven’t already, I would suggest visiting your OBGyn and make sure you’re sill protected.
NTA. And I’m glad he’s the one who told you to make this post as it presumably means he’ll read all these responses telling him he’s being a pathetic, childish asshole.
He’s 32 and can’t talk about your period? You probably shouldn’t sleep with him if he’s so horrified by the female body. Nta!
Hello OP’s boyfriend! You don’t know me, but I know guys like you: They’re usually called CHILDREN.
Grow up.
NTA if he is so afraid of vaginas, women’s reproductive systems and their functions, he should try dating men. He would never have to have those discussions! Problem solved.
NTA, do not continue to date men who cannot handle even TALKING about a period
Some AITA questions are finely balanced moral dilemmas that can spark interesting discussions with good points on all sides that help people to question their assumptions and really think through their worldviews and opinions.
This isn’t one of them though, because you’re very clearly completely NTA.
How on earth has he managed to make it to almost 30 years of age without being able to talk about periods? That’s not normal and it’s not ok.
Also, and I hope you’ve done this already but just in case, a change like this after an event like that is something you should get proper medical advice about.
As a man let me just say, NTA!
I get that bodily functions can be gross, but half the entire world’s population experiences periods. He should be empathetic to you and every woman in his life because practically every woman he knows including his mother, sisters, cousins, friends, and coworkers all experience periods. Kind of BS that men just get to say “meh I don’t have a uterus so keep those problems to yourselves.”
For perspective. If my 15year old cries or gets upset with her periods my 9 year old son will get her her heat pad and ask me to get her chocolate. He’ll also happily grab tampons or pads for her (there all stashed in 1 bathroom) and be extra nice. He’ll sit with her and let her pick what to watch on TV.
He’s 9.
My 9 yr old would be more compassionate and helpful with your period than your boyfriend of 6 years. While you’re also dealing with recovering from injury and depression.
Does he have any good characteristics???!!!
Dear OP’s BF, since you told her to make this post: You asked what was wrong, she answered. What was she supposed to do? Lie and say she had a headache and have you aid the wrong thing? Or just say something like “I have a lady issue” and minimize her own pain while she’s literally crying from it?
OP you’re NTA at all. Periods are as normal as feces and the complications they can cause or severity they can have are no joke. If your bf can’t handle the mere mention of something all women experience, he needs some kinda help.
He doesnt too immature to be dating a grown woman.
NTA. If he wants to date a woman, then he gets the whole complicated woman’s body mess we come with.
NTA. Honestly if one of my mates said that to his gf, I’d probably give him a kick up the arse and tell him to man up.
If he’s not mature enough to hear about perfectly normal medical issues of his partner he’s not mature enough to have a partner, end of.
NTA
Human bodies are messy things, and female bodies mess up sometimes monthly. If he cant handle a womans human body, he has no business being around it. Not to mention he can’t even summon up some empathy that someone he loves is in pain? NTA. No sex for this moron until he realises womens genitals do a satanic waterfall every now and then.
NTA- Guessing he doesn’t care if you have orgasms either, as long as he gets his
Wow that’s such a giant baby!
Everyone has covered that you need to dump your child boyfriend, but also have you gone to see your gynecologist? I’d be concerned about something having happened to the IUD, especially if it was after a traumatic event and now you’re suddenly having periods again. It may not be working anymore and it may be potentially causing other problems.
My husband and I met at 11/12. Even back then if I was hurting on my period, he would ask what was wrong and if there was anything he could do to help. When we married at 19, he knew roughly when my cycle was happening and would make sure the house was stocked with what I needed. Once it started he would ask what he could do to help and avoided any pressure near my belly while cuddling. He was so cautious and sweet that even in a dead sleep, he would avoid my belly area. Now in our mid twenties, he asks me how my cycle is and anticipates what i may need. He watched me go through miscarriages, birth, recovery, and many periods without ever once making me feel like a burden. That is what a real man does. A man who loves you would go above and beyond to ensure your comfort.
NTA
If a man can’t have a discussion about periods, he has no business being with someone who menstruates.
My husband buys period supplies for me when he notices I’m low without me saying a word. He just does it because part of being in a relationship is seeing each other’s needs and responding accordingly.
So he’s fine with being inside your vagina but not with talking about your vagina?
NTA
He’s an adult. If he can handle hearing and supporting you with the migraines he can handle hearing about period pain, particularly when it’s unusual and frightening. He needs to grow up.
NTA, at all.
Your boyfriend is the immature AH. You were in a lot of pain and he just said “don’t talk about that.” Remember that and the next time he complains, just tell him you don’t want to hear about it and walk away. He’s an AH and super immature.
NTA 🚩🚩
Girl
NTA. This is a huge red flag declaring his immaturity.
What a dick. Of course NTA
He’s 32? He can’t talk about a woman’s basic bodily functions? Good God, you have a child there, not a man.
Seems like a good candidate for that cramp simulator.
NTA (edit)
NTA. Regarding your IUD, I suggest going to the gynae for a check up. Maybe it’s moved out of place, maybe it’s time to get a new one. Your boyfriend is acting like a weird child.
Nta, tell him 30 going on 10 is a bad look.
NTA, I hate to be that person that says “break up”, but why are you with someone you can’t even discuss both basic bodily functions with? You deserve better than a Craigslist boyfriend.
NTA – go back to being just roommates. He’s not partner material. A partner will get you an ice pack or heating pad or Midol or ice cream or whatever you damn well need. Not tell you stop talking about it.
I can understand not wanting details of bodily functions, but that isn’t what you were doing. You were discussing YOUR PAIN AND DISCOMFORT. Does he not have any concern for you as a person?
NYA.
If he is unconcerned about your reproductive tract he needn’t be bothered to go near yours.
The boyfriend ITA. What would he do if you needed treatment for fibroids, or hemorrhoids, a lump in your breast? This guy doesn’t seem like partner material at all.
You have lived with a man-boy for six years. NTA
NTA. Very funny he told you to make this post. Hope he likes the results lol.
He is absolutely right. He doesn’t have to listen to you when you’re on your period. He can leave and go start dating guys or women who no longer have periods! HE is TA
NTA For you though!
NTA, I hope you’re seeing a doctor who is able to reassure or investigate your post-accident health issues. Unexpected bleeding should probably be checked, even if it is monthly.
BF is an idiot.
NTA. Your bf needs to grow the fuck up.
NTA, no man should fear a period discussion. like wtf??
NTA. Any guy who can’t handle discussing the normal functions of the vagina shouldn’t be allowed to stick his dick in one. Also, he sees you crying in pain and his first instinct is to go “eww, girl stuff”? Doesn’t seem like the sign of a good partner to me.
>He asked what was wrong and I said the blood is so painful.
This is fake. While there are a lot of things that suck about periods and could lead anyone to tears, “the blood” is not painful. I feel like this is a cheap knockoff of the recent post where a girl was berated by her boyfriend for letting him sleep in a bed she leaked a couple drops of blood on while she was sleeping.
(Of course NTA)
NTA. Your bf is TA. “I don’t want to hear about it” – hear this, asshole: F. U.
Nta. Your partner should care about your health. Full stop, no arguments.,
Christ, bro is 32 and can’t discuss periods? Yikes.
He needs to grow tf up. It’s a normal part of life and on top of that when it’s the person you love it’s important to know about it. It’s not gross, it’s not taboo, it’s part of being in a relationship with a woman.
NTA. If he can’t handle listening to his partner talk about their period, then he shouldn’t date someone with a uterus. Grow tf up.
NTA. He’s an ADULT and he ASKED. If you can’t discuss normal bodily functions with him, he doesn’t deserve access to your time much less your vagina.
Also PLEASE get your IUD checked. It may have shifted during the accident and if that happens it can be dangerous. There have been cases of them poking/perforating the uterine wall after accidents like that. He should’ve been taking you to the ER not acting like a prudish toddler worried about cooties.
Please also make sure your neck bones are aligned via X-ray. I’ve had issues with my Atlas bone at the top of the spine being out of place that caused massive migraines, and if things aren’t put back into alignment they can heal wrong. Concussions also just SUCK and he needs to realize that and have some compassion.
I wish you all the best. Good vibes if you want them.
NTA
Disgusting behavior on his part.
Periods suck. I’m sorry he’s not supportive
NTA.
Boyfriend sucks. Please talk to a doctor about the pain if you aren’t already.
NTA.
And you should reconsider being in a relationship with any man with this level of immaturity.
NTA
Your bf is pathetic. Sorry not sorry, but he is immature and acting like a child. Most women have periods it is a natural thing, also HE asked YOU what was wrong, all you did was answer. You should be able to talk to your partner about anything.
What if some day you decide to have kids and one of them is a girl, if you’re not available or something happens to you and you die or something what is he gonna do? Just tell her EW and to go to someone else whenever she asks questions or needs pads/tampons.
What if you are in unbarable pain or something is wrong and you can’t ask him for help because “you shouldn’t talk to him about that”?
Your man needs to either grow up and act his age or you need to find someone new.
NTA, he is. if he doesn’t want to deal with women’s natural bodily functions, he shouldn’t screw them, but stay out of their lives.
NTA. Your boyfriend is not mature enough to be dating anyone who gets a period if he can’t even handle to subject in conversation.
NTA, periods are part of life. If he wants to live with a biological female at any point in his life he needs to get used to discussing basic biological functions. What is he expecting to do if he has daughters and something happens to their mother before puberty??? Or does he just not have any kind of plan for that???
NTA
I can’t imagine a relationship where you can’t discuss medical issues.
What does he expect you to do? Lie? Just not talk about pain, symptoms, medicine?
If he thinks periods are bad he’s not prepared for a long term, adult relationship where you’re supposed to look after each other. Definitely won’t be able to handle pregnancy and childcare.
Plus it’s just deeply embarrassing of him.
He sucks and is viewing you as a FWB
When he gets a kidney stone tell him “ew don’t talk about that with me. I don’t need to hear it. “
Okay. Don’t jump on me here. But are you and your BF generally open about bodily functions? Like, if you had a stomach bug would he be okay listening to you talk about vomiting or about diarrhea? Do you talk about other pain you have (eg would he be okay if you started talking about having leg cramps or stomach cramps?)
Some people do not want to hear about bodily stuff at all. If that’s your boyfriend, that’s sucks but it’s okay. If your boyfriend ONLY does not want to discuss your period, then that’s a different story
NTA, you need to find another bf
Your bf is pathetic. If he’s too squeamish to hear about your period he’s too squeamish to be dating a woman who has periods.
NTA.
Find someone d thoughtful, considerate, and empathic. He ain’t it.
NTA. What is he going to do if you ever have a baby? Have some serious female complications? I’m sorry but my husband has absolutely bought me tampons, wiped blood off my legs after surgery, and cleaned clots out of the shower post childbirth. Is it sexy? No. But it’s part of life and he needs to learn to support you.
NTA. You should b able to talk about your period, of course, it’s not taboo anymore.
>not something he wants to hear about as bathroom talk shouldn’t be part of a relationship
After 6 years? So if you had food poisoning, you can’t say diarrhoea? You both have bodily functions; neither’s should be taboo.
Tell him to grow up.
Also, make sure you still have contraceptive cover – you don’t want to scramble your DNA with this man right now.
NTA. I get that some people can be squeamish when it comes to talking about blood (from any source, not just menstrual) or are not keen on talking about bowel movements or whatever. But it’s not like you were both enjoying a lovely dinner at the table when you, out of nowhere, began graphically describing your period while he was chewing his food. You were in pain, in a vulnerable moment and position, and HE asked YOU what was wrong. This goes into a couple of different areas partners should be comfortable discussing as well as being compassionate and helpful in.
If he can’t get beyond “ew, lady bit functions that have nothing to do with meeting my sexual needs,” he’s not a keeper. He’s TA.
If this man can’t handle periods, please don’t have a baby with him.
No, you are NTA but he needs to grow up.
If he isn’t willing to accept all of you, including the fact hat you are a woman who menstruates, he doesn’t deserve you. Hopefully communication can help solve things between the two of you, but invalidating your issues and telling you to stop talking because he doesn’t want to hear about it is actually a rather relationship breaking kind of thing.
NTA. If he can’t handle what comes out of a vagina, he shouldn’t be putting anything in one.
NTA. He needs to grow the hell up.
Guy here. NTA. My wife and I are ENM, so we date other women and couples together. I hear about periods from multiple women. Your bf needs to get over it, be supportive, and grow a pair.
NTA
Dear OP’s boyfriend. My boyfriend talks about it, sympathizes, and last month when I couldn’t get my menstrual cup out, he reached up inside of me up to about where my cervix is to pull it out for me. His hands obviously came out covered in blood and holding a little cup of blood and he didn’t bat an eye.
NTA. Your BF is an immature, inconsiderate baby.
NTA and this is a clear sign its time to move on. At 6 YEARS into a relationship if you can’t discuss bodily functions especially if they are abnormal, painful and worrying then the relationship has failed.
He shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near you if he’s uncomfortable/ disgusted with something so normal.
NTA, boyfriend’s behaviour is pathetic. I’d listen (and have listened many times in the past) to a friend talk about periods if they were having a really rough time with them, that’s what being supportive is all about. It’s not like you’re asking him to change your fucking tampon for you, you’re just in pain and he’s a loved one.
He’s right that he ‘doesn’t have to listen’, in the same way that he doesn’t have to date you, comfort you when you’re sad or care about you. Nothing is forcing him to do these things, but you don’t have to be around him if he doesn’t do them.
Edit:
Also, in lieu of your bf’s supportive chat, if your next period is bad enough to make you cry again, I’d go in and see a doctor if you can. No matter what you’re told, excruciatingly painful periods actually aren’t really all that normal (common =/= normal and healthy, you don’t need to put up with pain if you don’t want to). Painful periods can sometimes be a sign that something’s up with your health. Hopefully it is just an adjustment due to the meds as you say, but keeping track of symptoms is probably a good idea anyways.
NTA my bf of almost 8 years cant even handle catching a glimpse of my pad when theres barely any blood on it but i can still TALK about it with him (hes squeamish)
NTA. He asked you what’s wrong and you told him. You didn’t push him. Also if a 32 year old man can’t talk about a period with his long term relationship that’s embarrassing for him. He’s a child.
INFO- have you discussed this with your general practitioner doctor and your OB/GYN? I’m inclined to say NTA, however, if you haven’t checked in with your medical team about this sudden painful onset of menses and you’re only complaining to your boyfriend, then I could go the other way.
Periods are a normal part of life and if he can’t handle hearing about it then he has no business dating women.
NTA. You weren’t even describing the flow, the products or anything. You said you’re in pain and he 1. Completely dismissed your pain because 2. Those are feminine issues I don’t have to know 3. Why is he not worried that you might have an issue due to the accident? Sure it was a few months ago, but I’m still worried anytime my husband’s chest hurts I think of sth that happened in 2020 and hurt his sternum and ribs.
NTA to an advanced degree.
You should be able to talk about it as any health issue that might come up. But this is particularly egregious. He saw you in distress, he asked why, and when you answered, he shamed you for it being period related. And he’s 32!? That’s pretty egregious.
Also, that’s an odd way to go from 0 periods to painful ones if you didn’t get your IUD removed so I hope you’re talking to your doctor.
OMG — what is wrong with him? What a jerk. Of course you should be able to discuss this with him. It takes a pretty weak guy to be so put off by this. If that’s the case, he’s not ready for sex. Tell him to grow up!
NTA Run.
NTA. You’ve been together long enough that you should be able to discuss these sort of things.
NTA, it’s a natural function of your body that is known to cause some women minor to extreme pain. The correct reaction is something in the realm of comforting you, getting you period products/food/snacks/water or whatever else might help you feel a bit better. It’s very immature when a grown man refuses to talk about periods with his partner
Of course he doesn’t want to hear about it (I’m sure you don’t either). But you didn’t have to be so graphic. I’m not going to pass judgement because I come from a different generation and view it differently. I may mention that I’m cramping or not feeling well but I would never go into detail until I was worried something was wrong. Yes it’s natural but It’s still gross. He would absolutely listen if I brought it up but to me, nah. We don’t have to share every detail.
NTA. Other commenters are saying he’s immature, and I agree to a point. It may be that he was raised in a way where women’s medical concerns were simply off limits. But he’s old enough to learn and step up as a man in a relationship.
If he truly wants to be part of your life, he needs to support you. Medical issues with reproductive organs can be serious and he needs to understand what’s going on with you so he can support you.
NTA. If he can’t deal with periods in the abstract he doesn’t merit female companionship.
Nta. A mature adult male with an ounce of compassion could talk about this. 20 plus years ago when I was 19 my boyfriend would talk to me about them and buy me supplies without batting an eye.
NTA. He’s not mature enough to be in a relationship and you deserve better.
NTA
Nta. Your bf is a loser baby man. Real men can handle talking about periods, buying pads/tamps, and being there for you when your pain is loud
Also, I had a year of painful periods after getting my first IUD out. It sucks and I’m sorry you’re going thru that! It gets better, and I have my second IUD and am period free again!
How has this man been brought up? When my son was 10 at school, a girl in his primary class had a leakage onto clothing and he gave up his jumper for her to wrap it around herself whilst she went to sort it, seems like he showed more maturity.
If you are in the US, I will say, 16years ago my husband and I visited NY, I had an unplanned flow whilst walking back to the hotel, I, having nothing with me, had to dart back to the hotel whilst my husband went into the convenience store to buy me some products, he returned and said the looks people in the queue and the shop assistant were giving him was insane! He couldn’t care less though, it’s a part of life and caring/supporting each other and as a couple, we each are safe places for each other to be our very most vulnerable and are as one. NTA
If my “bf” said that to me he would be an “ex-bf” immediately. Why are you dating emotionally immature man?
Nah he is too grown to be grossed out by periods. Little boy behavior.
He sounds real mature. Jfc
/s
If he’s not mature enough to hear about his partners period then he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship.
Your bf needs to grow up. If he wants to live with someone who menstruates, then he’s going to hear about it. Perhaps he needs to think why it makes him uncomfortable
Your boyfriend is TA.
You’re not, but guess who is!
Have you seen your gynae as your iud may have shifted due to the accident. Normally if you don’t get periods when the iud is first put in, you won’t for the entire time. If your iud had shifted, it wouldn’t be effective. Not that I can imagine having sex with a man with such a ridiculous attitude to a normal function that happens to half of humanity.