So I work at an apartment complex and we get a lot of stray cats that just hang around the property. Recently a few of coyotes have been spotted around the apartment and killing cats. Earlier today I came across a dead cat in the parking lot. It was a really gruesome death. It’s stomach was ripped open and it’s inside were spilling out. It was also in the view of the residence. I’m used to seeing this because I’ve picked up a few dead cats already and I couldn’t leave it on the ground for everyone to see. I took a photo and sent it to management like I’m supposed to but after no response. I threw it away because I didn’t want anyone especially the children to see the aftermath. The cat didn’t have a collar on and it looked exactly like one of the stray cats that roam around the property.
Later a tenant came in crying because her cat was missing. I had a feeling it was her cat but I didn’t want to show her the image. I describe the cat I found and she confirmed that it was hers. I had told her I had to throw it away she completely lost it on me. She called heartless and not caring about her cats death. I feel really bad but I knew I also couldn’t let everyone see it. AITA for disposing of a cat I thought was a stray, but was actually a tenant’s missing pet?
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So I work at an apartment complex and we get a lot of stray cats that just hang around the property. Recently a few of coyotes have been spotted around the apartment and killing cats. Earlier today I came across a dead cat in the parking lot. It was a really gruesome death. It’s stomach was ripped open and it’s inside were spilling out. It was also in the view of the residence. I’m used to seeing this because I’ve picked up a few dead cats already and I couldn’t leave it on the ground for everyone to see. I took a photo and sent it to management like I’m supposed to but after no response. I threw it away because I didn’t want anyone especially the children to see the aftermath. The cat didn’t have a collar on and it looked exactly like one of the stray cats that roam around the property.
Later a tenant came in crying because her cat was missing. I had a feeling it was her cat but I didn’t want to show her the image. I describe the cat I found and she confirmed that it was hers. I had told her I had to throw it away she completely lost it on me. She called heartless and not caring about her cats death. I feel really bad but I knew I also couldn’t let everyone see it. AITA for disposing of a cat I thought was a stray, but was actually a tenant’s missing pet?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I took the action of disposing of the cat because it was in the middle of the parking lot where everyone could see. I had no clue the cat belonged to a tenant living there.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Question: How long did you wait before you threw it away?
I understand not leaving it out for anyone to see but you likely could have placed it in a box and sat it aside until at least the end of the day.
NAH
you didnt realize, and their cat probably escaped the front door in a mad dash.
NAH.
She’s grieving and just found out her cat is dead – and a horrible death at that. You did nothing wrong. I’m sure she would love to have given her pet a proper burial or have some closure, but when it was found mutilated by a wild animal, you were right in making sure it wasn’t left out for everyone to see.
Let this be a lesson to those living in areas with coyote – keep your cats inside. There is a reason indoor cats live longer.
Edit: I saw that OP was at work here – so likely building management. Asking for a chip scanner from the property management company would be a really good call. They are not expensive, and if you have a problem with strays and wildlife, being able to scan for a chip quickly would be a good way to stop this from happening again. (Misidentifying as a stray, nothing to do about the coyotes except keeping pets indoors.) Also changing my vote to N A H since I don’t think this woman was an AH for being upset about her pet.
I probably would have taken it to the vets to decide what to do with it, and figure it out, and scan for a microchip, instead of taking it upon myself to throw it away. I know you had good intentions, but, because you didn’t stop to consider that this was a loved pet and didn’t think to get it scanned for a microchip at the very least, then, mild YTA. And I mean mild – because you didn’t do it maliciously…
I read the title and though “AH” because I didn’t understand the cat was dead.
NTA, you did the right thing. You can’t keep a body if you don’t have a morgue.
If this happens often, you might consider getting a microchip scanner or asking management for one. They are not very expensive, and it might help if this happens again. Mind you, not all cats will be microchipped, and the chip might not have survived the attack.
(people are different about pet’s bodies now. When my cat died in being neutered in 1991, I cried and went home. I never considered asking for the body – he was gone)
Showing them the body and them knowing the suffering their cat has gone through would probably be worse.
I guess saying you “threw it away” and “thought it was a stray” might have struck their ear a little harshly – maybe you could have said something like “the poor little thing – I disposed of it respectfully” might have been better?
I dont think you were being heartless, but in situations like this, it could help to pause and check with someone before disposing of the body. I mean whats done is done, please dont beat yourself up too much bcz of this. I hope you helped the lady get back her pet. 🙃
Info: How exactly did you word it? When you described the cat you saw and she confirmed it was her cat, did you just tell her that you threw him away? No further explanation of what happened, no empathy, literally just told her you threw her pet away? Because that does sound really heartless and uncaring.
Never tell emotionally wound up people you dumped the dead cat in trash without a next of kin notice and a full state funeral.
BTW………..most predators, like coyotes will eat the soft entrails first. Easier chewing and already half digested
NTA, that’s just an awful situation to find yourself in. You couldn’t have known the cat was somebody’s pet. You did what you could to make sure nobody else saw what was a very tragic occurrence. Don’t fault yourself for that
NAH but I hope you didn’t actually say “threw away”. That’s a good time for a white lie to ease the blow. If you actually said that, man you need to work on your emotional IQ
I have two dogs and three cats and i something like that happened to my cat, I’d be incredibly sad I didn’t get to say goodbye BUT there’s also no way I would have been able to handle seeing any of my animals like this.
The tenant is at fault if they intentionally let their cat out, but overall I’m going NAH.
NAH
They were wrong to berate you but it’s understandable since they were upset.
NTA, that cat could EASILY have been one of the strays. How tf are you supposed to know that?!
NTA. She’s the heartless one; letting her cat roam freely outdoors in coyote country. You could have said nothing and let her wonder whatever happened to her cat.
At least this way, she knows how to be a better pet owner if she gets a new cat.
NTA, but I might reach out to the tenant and tell her that you’re sorry for her loss, and explain further exactly what happened. She’s probably upset at the phrase “throw it away” wording because she’s grieving. Tell her exactly your thought process – the way kitty was found in the parking lot was gruesome/upsetting and you wanted to prevent that from scarring the tenants (including her) so you took care of the body quickly. If it were me, I can’t think of anything worse than finding my pet like that.
NTA, but if this happens again, put the cat in a bag or something and call your local Animal Control and they will come pick up the remains and dispose of it properly.
NTA. There’s no way you could have know it was a pet. Even so, it’s the owners job to ensure the safety of their pet, not yours. Your job is to manage the apartment complex, and in this situation, that’s all you were doing.
If anything, I’d wager the owner probably felt a strong sense of guilt (among other things) and used you to project and vent that guilt. Hopefully in time they will come to understand this was the result of their own actions, and you were just doing your job.
i feel while your action was considerate, your verbiage is unnecessarily shocking and harsh as i receive it. “i had to throw it away” referring to the body of someone’s beloved animal companion sounds insane to me. each time i read “throw it away” in your post i recoil and it’s not even my cat. a lot i think would be solved by adjusting your use of language to something that makes the pet sound less like literal trash for the garbage. even ‘remove the body’ is better.
NTA. Having lost my boy to a coyote, she has no idea how fortunate she was not to have seen the aftermath. Even if she is never grateful, I appreciate what you spared her from.
NTA.
You have a job to do and you did it according to your employer’s expectations. The only thing you could have done better would be to used words like, “I’m sorry, but I have already disposed of the remains.” Saying you “threw it away” is what makes it sound like you don’t care.
The tenant is the AH here. Not for being upset, but for letting their cat go outside. You say the cat looked “exactly like” one of the strays, and had no collar. So it’s possible that she let the cat go outside so much, you thought it was a stray.
NTA
You did the right thing.
People who allow 5eir. Ate to roam outside, don’t seem to really care for them and heir safety.
She had to know that there was a strong possibility that wildlife may be looking for domesticated animals to prey on. She was irresponsible.
NTA I’m surprised you even checked before doing it. Like yea you can’t just leave that sitting around and you don’t work at a morgue.
If you literally said “threw away” – I am going to have to say a soft YTA because that is a very cruel way to communicate what happened to someone’s beloved pet.
Disposing of the cat is not an AH move, though, I imagine you don’t have the facilities to safely hold a dead body. A lot of really nasty bacteria start growing after something dies. You cannot safely leave it out in the open, and if you don’t have a place to properly store it then you can’t safely keep it.
If you were gentle NAH. I think there should probably be a conversation with management about these situations since it’s an on going issue. I like other folks’ suggestion of getting a microchip scanner, but otherwise if there’s a vet clinic where drop offs of animals can be done, they would have microchip scanners and would allow the owner the possibility of cremation or other death rituals. It’s hard because you were absolutely doing what was in the best interest of the community by removing a graphic tragedy, but this person likely needed more closure. If there was a way to get the pet back after disposal, that might also make sense but I imagine at this point it’s too late.
NTA. If you’re going to let your cats wander outside knowing full well others have been killed by wildlife, you’re going to have to deal with the consequences… in this case, never seeing your cat again. It would probably make things worse, anyway.
NTA. A dead animal could be carrying all sorts of diseases – you gotta get rid of that, especially if it’s near where people live… I have a feeling she called you heartless because she was upset and hurting, not because you actually are.
Edited to give a vote for NTA
NTA. That happened to my cat years ago. He was killed by a coyote. My neighbor found his body in their yard and told me they had disposed it. Their reasoning was I wouldn’t want to see his half-eaten remains and they were right.
NTA and this is why you don’t have a fucking outdoor cat. if you wanna make sure your cats gonna be alive at the end of the day, keep them indoors. an outdoor cat is a danger to themselves and the wildlife ecosystem around you
NTA
What exactly did she expect you to do with a dead and shredded cat with no visible identification?
Where were you supposed to store it until you figured out if it belonged to someone?
The title made it sound like op killed the cat. I’m glad I read further to find that it was a wild animal attack. It’s sad when someone loses a pet but in a way you probably spared them some emotional damage from having to see their cherished pet ripped apart. I’m gonna go with Nta.
NTA. It’s just misplaced grief driving her to be angry at you.
NTA. People shouldn’t be letting their cats outside in generally but ESPECIALLY in an area where there are known predators. It’s sad what happened but is much rather not see my cat in that state. You did the right thing OP
I don’t thing you are TA. But I’m wondering about how you presented the info. If someone said they threw my cat in the trash, I would freak (even if I was the person who let them out in a known coyote area to begin with). So maybe work on customer -friendly vagueries. “I must be honest, he was not looking good, and it’s a hazard, so I had to remove his remains. I’m very sorry, it is the policy of the complex.”
NAH. You didn’t realize, and it’s understandable you didn’t want to leave it there. It’s also understandable for her to be upset.
NTA, and I’d suggest you not take it personally. She’s grieving a dead family member, and lashes out at the messenger. This is normal, and understandable. Just do your best to handle it properly and maybe give it a bit more time next time (which I hope never comes).
NTA. I guess I’d consider the fact that she just lost her pet. One tends to not be in a great state of mind when that happens.
NTA
If SHE had cared about her cat she wouldn’t have let it roam outside where the poor baby met a gruesome end. There are too many dangers outside from cars to wildlife that could harm them. They could also hunt and harm the bird population of the area. As a cat parent I feel so sad that this kitty didn’t have better humans in their life and ended up like this.
NTA. If you had shown her the picture, THAT would have been heartless.
What you did was to dispose of a rotting corpse which almost everyone would recognize as being a health hazard. She’s being unreasonable to expect you to leave it where others could encounter it until she had come around to claim it.
NTA. You told the truth. I might have lied and said I saw a coyote carry it off into the woods. If she lets her cat outside on purpose, she knew that there were certain risks. It’s far better than if it had been hit by a car and she saw it as roadkill on her way to work.
NTA. What were you supposed to do with it? If she wanted to keep her cat safe, she would have kept it indoors.
NTA, you were literally doing your job. You had to remove the carcass before it upset people and became a health hazard. Taking the photos was a great idea because even if she’s unhappy, she at least got closure.
Also, indoor/outdoor cat owners often assume that the entire community is equally responsible for the care of their personal pets. This assumption is not the reality, and ultimately only the pet owner is responsible for the animal.
NTA. Being angry at you is apparently easier than being angry at herself for letting her poor cat outside.
NTA you did the right thing and she is just shooting the messenger in grief. You saved her so much trauma from seeing her cat like that.
NTA. If you had called animal control they would have thrown it in the trash as well (I was a 911 dispatcher). As far as I know, most pet corpses actually just get thrown away if they die in a vet clinic and the owner doesn’t don’t pay for cremation.
If you want your pets to stay alive, you gotta keep them within your control, unfortunately. But believe me I completely understand grief reactions. I’d be getting cussed out the entire time I was giving CPR instructions, sometimes with threats as well. People lash out in their grief, even to people actively trying to help them.
NTA whatsoever. This is a great opportunity to make postings in the community to urge people to keep their cats indoors to protect them from a similar fate
well, that escalated quickly. poor tenant tho 😬