I was going grocery shopping with my mom and her husband, and we passed by some bread. He mentioned that he had already bought a loaf of that bread and it was at home, and said that he was planning to use the loaf of bread for dinner the next day. I had eaten some of that bread.
We have a shelf in the pantry in our house where the bread is stored. My mom and her husband don’t really eat that bread so it’s free game for the “kids”. Usually the bread on that shelf is just grocery store bread, but sometimes there will be some better bread when our local grocery store has some on discount. When I saw the loaf of sourdough bread with the 50% off sticker, and had not been informed that the bread was being saved for something, I assumed it was fine to have some of it for lunch.
I did eat 4 pieces of the bread, because each slice of bread was about the size of half a piece of regular bread, so I made two small sandwiches instead of one large sandwich, so I wouldn’t be hungry. There was other bread on the shelf, but when given the choice between grocery store bread, and a nice sourdough loaf, I chose the sourdough. It’s my favorite type of bread, and I don’t usually get the opportunity to eat it, so I was really happy that it seemed there had been some on clearance.
When I mentioned that I had eaten some of the bread because I hadn’t known that it was being saved for something specific, he got kind of angry. My mom said that if he had wanted to save the bread that he had to tell everyone not to eat the bread, or store the bread in a different place where people wouldn’t eat it. It’s a rule in the house that if there is food in the house and no one has said anything specific, people are allowed to eat the food. If you’re saving food you have to specifically let people know that it’s your food, or you’re going to be using it later. I tell people when I’m going to be using something when baking, so I don’t see why he would be any different.
My mom’s husband is new to the family. He and my mom got married about a year and a half ago, so he might not have known or thought about it, but everyone else in the family does it. He’s done it before too. He tells the rest of us that he’s planning on using some leftovers to make breakfast/dinner/etc., like the time when he told us that he was going to use some bread he made for sandwiches. I don’t see why this bread was an exception.
I apologized, because I didn’t mean to mess up his plans, but he was kind of passive aggressive after that, and made a few comments about how it shouldn’t have been his job to tell other people not to eat food that they shouldn’t have been eating, and that I could have just eaten some of the other bread that was open on the shelf. I feel bad, but I didn’t know that there was a plan for the bread. He hasn’t talked to me since getting home from the grocery store. AITA for eating the bread?
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I was going grocery shopping with my mom and her husband, and we passed by some bread. He mentioned that he had already bought a loaf of that bread and it was at home, and said that he was planning to use the loaf of bread for dinner the next day. I had eaten some of that bread.
We have a shelf in the pantry in our house where the bread is stored. My mom and her husband don’t really eat that bread so it’s free game for the “kids”. Usually the bread on that shelf is just grocery store bread, but sometimes there will be some better bread when our local grocery store has some on discount. When I saw the loaf of sourdough bread with the 50% off sticker, and had not been informed that the bread was being saved for something, I assumed it was fine to have some of it for lunch.
I did eat 4 pieces of the bread, because each slice of bread was about the size of half a piece of regular bread, so I made two small sandwiches instead of one large sandwich, so I wouldn’t be hungry. There was other bread on the shelf, but when given the choice between grocery store bread, and a nice sourdough loaf, I chose the sourdough. It’s my favorite type of bread, and I don’t usually get the opportunity to eat it, so I was really happy that it seemed there had been some on clearance.
When I mentioned that I had eaten some of the bread because I hadn’t known that it was being saved for something specific, he got kind of angry. My mom said that if he had wanted to save the bread that he had to tell everyone not to eat the bread, or store the bread in a different place where people wouldn’t eat it. It’s a rule in the house that if there is food in the house and no one has said anything specific, people are allowed to eat the food. If you’re saving food you have to specifically let people know that it’s your food, or you’re going to be using it later. I tell people when I’m going to be using something when baking, so I don’t see why he would be any different.
My mom’s husband is new to the family. He and my mom got married about a year and a half ago, so he might not have known or thought about it, but everyone else in the family does it. He’s done it before too. He tells the rest of us that he’s planning on using some leftovers to make breakfast/dinner/etc., like the time when he told us that he was going to use some bread he made for sandwiches. I don’t see why this bread was an exception.
I apologized, because I didn’t mean to mess up his plans, but he was kind of passive aggressive after that, and made a few comments about how it shouldn’t have been his job to tell other people not to eat food that they shouldn’t have been eating, and that I could have just eaten some of the other bread that was open on the shelf. I feel bad, but I didn’t know that there was a plan for the bread. He hasn’t talked to me since getting home from the grocery store. AITA for eating the bread?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action that I took was eating some bread that my mom’s husband was saving for dinner the next day. I think I might be the asshole because he’s really upset that he has to change his plans, and I probably should have realized that the bread was there for a reason.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Sounds like your mom’s husband seemed to forget the rule and is now being petty/angry about it because he doesn’t wanna admit it’s his own fault.
INFO
> My mom and her husband don’t really eat that bread so it’s free game for the “kids”.
What the heck is the family dynamic here? Are you an adult or not?
Who pays for grocery items in the household?
NTA. You were literally at the grocery store. Why couldn’t he just buy another loaf of that bread to use??
NTA. Why are you apologizing. The bread was in a location where bread that is freely available to eat is kept and no one told you it was being reserved for something. Were you supposed to read their minds? Pluck this info out of thin air? You did nothing wrong.
NTA
You acted according to your house rules and it doesn’t sound like he has to starve now.
He’s the asshole. He’s new to the family, the family has always informed others of their plan for specific food, he should not live by different rules. He will get over it. Don’t beat yourself up over this, you didn’t do anything wrong.
NTA
Your mother’s husband evidently needs to learn the fine art of writing a little note to say
“This food is being saved for a purpose, please don’t help yourself!”
My guess is he’s not used to living in a family house, where the general rule is that food is generally available unless specifically saved.
NTA. Your mom’s husband is TA and your mom as well if she doesn’t call him out on his petty behavior.
NTA. You’re not a mind-reader, and he’s being an ah.
NTA
Apparently you were supposed to read his mind.
Simple solution: Apologize for eating the bread and buy a fresh loaf. Did you buy the fresh loaf?
Complicated solution: Ask Reddit if you’re the asshole.
NTA. He knows the protocol, he told you when he was saving leftovers. He made the mistake of putting saved bread in the available bread location. I’m guessing that he is angry at himself and shifting the blame to someone else. Before living with your family, did he live with children? Does he know the difference between being a family and being roommates?
That sourdough is going to be stale by tomorrow. It was already on sale when he bought it yesterday.
It’s an effing loaf of bread. You were at the store and could easily get another loaf. He sounds like a bit of an AH.
Unless I read the story wrong, you told him you ate some of it while IN A GROCERY STORE, right? Why didn’t he just grab another loaf?
OO the only way for him to be happy is for you to be a mind reader.
That’s an unreasonable ask, so your mom’s husband needs to get better at projecting his thoughts
NTA-how were you to know he’d want to serve 4 day old clearance bread for dinner
NTA
You guys have a protocol in the house. Your mom confirmed it. You followed the rules, he didn’t. He has followed them in the past, so he is aware of them.
Plus, it’s bread. He could have just picked more up when you were there. And bread isn’t that expensive, why not just keep a stock of sourdough around if that’s what people prefer. Get it at the end of the day when they mark it down.
NTA and idk how old you are but is he giving a CHILD the silent treatment? Your mom needs to set him straight.
ESH. If you see bread that you all don’t normally but in the house you should ask if it’s for something special. You said normally they bread is for the kids but you should expect things to change with a new person in the house.
Your stepdad is also wrong if he’s upset that you ate bread but you need to find out if that’s truly the reason. Based on this story and your mom not backing him up I think he feels like he’s not being heard in the house. That he’s expected to just fall in line with whatever was going on before and that your mother isn’t helping him integrate into the household.
NTA. How old are you, and how old is he?
But it’s…. bread. And it’s 50% off bread. Seems like bread is a form of currency in this house or something? It’s just bread!
NTA it’s bread and he didn’t even buy it. Why is your mom buying the groceries for everyone does her new husband work and pay bills? All of the adults in the household need to be buying groceries, you included.
NTA.
NTA
This is why we have a designated spot for the ‘free for all’ food. Dinner stuff goes in it’s own spot as well, same for personals. If he really wanted to save it, you don’t put it where everyone can eat it.
He needs to follow the long-standing family rule of telling everyone not to eat X cuz he has plans for X.
You’re NTA.
NTA, as OP wasn’t informed that the bread was going to be used for a specific meal, and there are house rules regarding food that weren’t followed, there’s no need for an apology.
I can’t believe there are this many words about eating bread. I’ve never considered special bread or any bread being off-limits, but I obviously understand the concept of someone purchasing or saving something with specific plans. The new husband didn’t follow the house rules so you are NTA.
Still, new husband seems like he could benefit from chilling out. It’s bread. I am curious as to what amazing plans were in store for this sacred bread.
I mean no matter how frustrating it is to have something you needed be used it’s not that hard to communicate when multiple people are cooking in the same house. If he failed to communicate he can’t get mad that you couldn’t read his mind.
Especially if his plan goes against how you traditionally do things in your family.
NTA (and he is a child for giving you the silent treatment. He needs to grow up)
your stepdad/ moms new husband sounds like a real control freak, not sure if it’s just about food or indicative of wider controlling tendencies
I would genuinely not worry about it, it was grocery store bread, not some expensive and hard to get ingredients
I talked to him, and he said that it was fine. He was just upset and didn’t want to get really angry at the grocery store, and then we just didn’t really interact after we all came home. He said that he was grateful for the apology, but it was okay.
Nta, there are rules in place and he didn’t follow them.
Him being passive aggressive about it isn’t ok at all. Tell your mom how you feel. She was on your side so she’ll talk to him. This is behaviour you want to stop NOW before he gets even worse for stupider shit. Not ok.