In my office it’s super common for people to bring in food or snacks and leave them in the kitchen for everyone to share. There’s usually donuts, chips, or random stuff that gets put out, and no one ever labels anything. Last week I walked in, saw a box of cookies sitting on the counter, and thought it was another one of those situations. I grabbed a couple and went back to my desk. Later that day one of my coworkers confronted me and said those were actually hers, and she had just left them there temporarily while she went to grab her lunch. She told me it should have been obvious they weren’t for sharing, but honestly, how was I supposed to know? She didn’t put her name on it, and it was sitting in the exact same spot people always leave the communal stuff. Now she’s upset and telling people I stole her food, and a few coworkers are looking at me like I crossed a line.
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In my office it’s super common for people to bring in food or snacks and leave them in the kitchen for everyone to share. There’s usually donuts, chips, or random stuff that gets put out, and no one ever labels anything. Last week I walked in, saw a box of cookies sitting on the counter, and thought it was another one of those situations. I grabbed a couple and went back to my desk. Later that day one of my coworkers confronted me and said those were actually hers, and she had just left them there temporarily while she went to grab her lunch. She told me it should have been obvious they weren’t for sharing, but honestly, how was I supposed to know? She didn’t put her name on it, and it was sitting in the exact same spot people always leave the communal stuff. Now she’s upset and telling people I stole her food, and a few coworkers are looking at me like I crossed a line.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA leave a note next time.
Your co-worker left a box of cookies in a communal area, without her name on said box, and then got mad when you took them. I mean, I think any reasonable person would have thought “Oh hey! Someone brought in cookies!”
So, yeah, NTA.
I might have said N A H if your co-worker hadn’t been going around saying you stole her food. It was her mistake in the first place.
NTA if she left them in the same communal area…but, for two cookies, might it be worth apologizing for the misunderstanding and offering to replace them? Not that it’s your fault but just to avoid a really awkward work environment and be the bigger person?
NTA. How are you supposed to know if the norm is that anything left out is up for grabs?
She’s the one who deviated from the system, not you.
You are NTA. She shouldn’t leave food out if she doesn’t want to share it.
If this is a normal thing, if it made sense for you to think they were for sharing, why would your coworkers think you crossed a line?
I work in that type of office, where people bring things to share. And I have a coworker who crosses the line and takes people’s food from the refrigerator.
So why are your coworkers giving you the eye? Was it a single serving package of cookies or a full sized box?
NTA. Not to be paranoid, but this seems to be some sort of trap she made.
Low-key YTA. You ate someone’s food when they didn’t want to share, that’s AH behavior. Your coworker also messed up a little bit but she was a bonehead not an asshole. Apologize and ask next time!
I would have put a bow on a sharpie and left it on her desk
That’s on your colleague, not on you. NTA
YTA
There is more to this story that you are not disclosing, otherwise your coworkers would have your back.
NTA but for the price of a packet of cookies, buy the same again, give her two and put the rest out for sharing. Office harmony will be restored.
NTA she put it in the communal space.
Any time I’ve had to do anything like that, I put a big post-it note on it.
NTA. Our break room has the same thing. If food is left on a certain counter it’s a universal sign that it’s communal.
Replace her cookies.
Yta for not even checking. I work in an environment that parties and pot lucks are common. People still ask before they take food that DOES NOT BELONG TO THEM. Just because it’s sitting out does not mean it’s fair game. Your coworkers reactions indicate you might definitely be a problem.
NTA, it was an honest mistake that probably was her fault. But in this setting it’s probably best to just apologize, bring her some cookies or similiar snack and move on.
INFO: when shared snacks are “put out”, are they put on a table or a specific place? Were the cookies in said space or just somewhere where people usually DON’T put shared snacks? And what kind of packaging were cookies in? A full bag or one of the tiny single portion ones?
NAH, YWBTA if you don’t buy her replacement cookies.
NTA but I’d be nice and offer to replace them
How many cookies were in the box?
INFO: how many cookies were originally in the box? was it a dozen?
NAH. Just apologize and replace them.
YTA. There’s always communal food in my office as well, and we still have the couth to make sure we’re eating what’s meant for us and not someone’s gift or lunch or special treat.
NTA – send an email to everyone. Tell them you are sorry, but they had no name on them, no type of indication they were not to be shared. They were just sitting there with no one around. (if you can, replace the cookies) Put manager’s name on the email also, because I’m sure they heard it by now.
Then ask in the email, what can be done in the future to keep all of us from making that same mistake?
ESH. You always ask if you don’t know, and apologize/replace when you screw up. But also don’t leave your box of cookies on the counter in the break room if you’re not sharing with the office.
NTA unless you took too many
NTA
She should have put her name on it, or a note, or not left it in a place where people frequently leave food that’s for sharing.
I think this is 100% on her, but for the sake of congenial coworkers I might apologize anyway.
How many were in the box and how many did you take?
NTA your co-worker is though.
NTA. her fault for leaving them there haha. I’d put sticky notes on the counter with one side designated for “communal snacks” and another for “personal food – do not eat”. put it in the wrong zone and it’s fair game lol
Info: what did you say to your coworker?
It was an innocent mistake, but I think a defensive response would have escalated the situation more, so it would be good to know what she’s responding to.
It kind of depends on how you responded when she confronted you. If you said “Your fault for where you put them”, yta, but if you apologized and expressed you misunderstood, you’re nta
NTA
But bring in a box of the exact same cookies as an apology.
NTA. It seems to have been an honest mistake, but did you offer to buy some more cookies to rectify the error?
NTA
I work in a similar office. If people bring things to share, they just leave them on a specific counter and people go for it. No one really asks because this same spot is used for communal and shared foods by everyone. I would still apologize and explain the confusion and maybe offer to buy this coworker more cookies or a coffee or lunch or something, but she’s going overboard by circulating this drama over a clear and simple misunderstanding.
NTA. It was a mistake. You did not purposely steal them. Report her to your manager that she spreading lies about you.
lol. Is this post about cookies or driving a friend to the airport at 7 am?
NTA but i would buy her a box of those cookies as goodwill just to FULLY diffuse any drama.
Were these some fancy $5 bucks a piece cookies or supermarket kind $5 for a dozen??
NTA but apologize and offer to replace them.
Situation at work. A team bought doughnuts, we were told by some of the management that there were doughnuts. There were loads, one of my team went and grabbed 4.
Later, get emailed to say “your team member stole 3 bags of doughnuts, they weren’t for sharing with the wider audience”
Now this team member had checked when going for them with 2 team leads in the room, one even said “yeah there’s heaps help yourself ”
So in a retaliation of sorts, I went and bought 3 bags (custard doughnuts) took my team member into the room a, put them in the middle of the room and loudly said “here are 3 bags to replace the 4 doughnuts you’ve accused him of stealing “
Sometimes people just want to make a big deal out of nothing. It’s a them problem.
It’s a year later and doughnutgate still gets brought up as one of the few times anyone has actually seen me mad.
Sure, people do that in every office, and sometimes mistakes happen. If you’re being 100% honest and you really felt like that was left in the communal space, you should have immediately apologized and offered to reimburse. Maybe going forward you ask about food sitting out to make sure.
I’d say NTA unless it was a small box that’s obviously meant for 1-2 people, not an entire office. In that case, YTA.
Oink.
NTA, how are you supposed to know that they were hers if she didn’t put her name on it and it’s sitting in a communal space where other office shared food sits regularly?
Something is missing. I have a feeling these were special cookies. FYI, do you ever bring anything in to share?