Met up with this girl from one of my classes for a date last night, pretty classic dinner and walk type situation. We got along fairly well, nothing amazing but also not horrible, and I would definitely have taken her out again. I drove us back to campus and walked her to her dorm, and she said I should come back up with her.
I laughed it off and said I usually wait until we’re officially dating before I do anything like that, but she kept insisting it would be fun. I told her no thanks and went home.
I’m not the type to sleep with somebody on the first date, and if she’s so open to that, I can’t help but feel like she’s done it a bit amount of times before, or at least is open to doing so, both of which aren’t qualities I’m looking for in a partner. So because of that, I decided to end things and politely texted her that I had fun but don’t think it’ll work out.
She asked if it was about her wanting to sleep with me, and I said yes, and she got angry and said I was misogynistic and punishing her for having desires.
AITA?
Comments
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, comrade.
Kind of. Like, it’s a preference, I feel like it’s a bit misogynistic in the sense of “oh she will sleep with anyone then?”, but at the same time it’s your preference on saving sex and such and it’s not like you are being a hypocrite.
Ummmm…..no you’re not the asshole for having standards….
If you don’t sleep with someone on the first date then it is what it is. If she had said that, you would’ve been expected to respect it. There’s nothing that pisses me off more than a woman who holds holds herself to a different standard than she would to a man….but then over here shouting ‘misogyny and equality’. Girl, sit tf down.
NO YOU ARE NOT THE ASSHOLE.
NTA. You aren’t into that and she didnt respect your no. Thats a red flag
Yup
NTA – if that’s not how you roll, that’s not how you roll. No one’s entitled to date you, and you don’t* owe anyone a chance to do so either.
*Edit, missing word
NTA
It’s not misogyny if you’re treating the gender you’re interested in (women) by the same rules you seem to apply to yourself (not just casually having sex)
That’s just fairness. Whatever I or anyone else thinks of your specific judgement is irrelevant, you’re being consistent.
You’re a little bit TA for the way you all but call her a sl-t in describing how you came to the conclusion that you’re incompatible, but NTA for deciding you’re not compatible. That’s what dating is for.
Wow. Baggage, OP! NTA. Keep dodging those bullets.
Lmfaoo sure buddy. Then when you left everyone clapped for you?
NTA I bet she would say that taking you not wanting her and calling it punishment is incel behavior, if the roles were reversed.
🤨
You dodged a bullet son. Only a wh0r3 sleeps with you on the 1st date.
I dont get it… you could have plowed and then ended it and decided not to? I question your sense of rationality
Nta and you know it, you just want some strangers approval…
NTA – if you don’t like rushing things then don’t
NTA, most men want to fuck on the first date but that doesnt stop me from holding my boundaries. Its a great way to weed out the hoes lol. At least with women you dont usually have to worry they’re going to physically harm you. You did the right thing, dont second guess yourself
She called you misogynistic for NOT sleeping with her on the first date?
Some of them are really wired backwards.
NTA.
You aren’t an asshole but you are probably gay.
I agree you are not the asshole. Not everyone feels free to enjoy their body in that way.
And It’s not misogynistic, but it is puritanical, which is misogyny adjacent.
You’re NTA but you passed on a beautiful night. Foolish
NTAH, you have certain morals, and you are not letting some ass change that, to be honest it is admirable, most dudes would have gone through with it.
NTA. It is funny how the first word out misandry’s mouth is usually misogyny.
You set a pretty clear boundary and she took it and turned it into a victim complex. An incorrect one at that, I fail to see how a guy not wanting to sleep with you on a first date is misogynistic.
She’s waving a red flag, take it as the warning it is; you dodged a bullet…and probably several STD’s…
NTA.
Had the roles been reversed she would have expected you to respect her “no”. Nothing changes here. She didn’t respect your boundaries so you left and cut contact. Nothing wrong there.
You could have been the AH by sleeping with her and then ghosting her afterwards but you were very respectful. Don’t let anyone make u feel bad for that.
You seem like a great time…
Can you imagine the comments if it was the other way around. NTA.
Send her number
NTAH, you respected your own boundaries while she couldn’t handle rejection. You’re not the asshole but rather respectable and true to yourself. Furthermore, I wasn’t going to comment until I saw the comments disrespecting you for not sleeping with her then calling it off. You’re a respectable person, and you should hold your head up high.
Please don’t listen to the ignorant fools who are so insecure they can’t handle another man not sleeping with a woman. They’re projecting their insecurity of never being able to have sex onto you. They’re what misogyny looks like, not you.
Good for you stay away from the 304s there’s too many of them out there
Not sleeping with her is misogyny? That’s a first. 🤦🏽♂️
Nta. No means no. It would be misogynistic if you slept with her and then dumped her for sleeping with you on the first date. You did nothing wrong.
NTA – a guy refusing sex is misogynistic, lol
You have a preference for the type of woman you want to date.
She thinking that you having some standards is misogynistic is just further proof that she’s not the one for you and you dodged a bullet.
There’s a reason why people have standards. They are filtering mechanism and she’s just being mad that she was filtered out.
My guess is she feels shamed. And so she’s blaming you for shaming her. But you didn’t shame her, she shamed herself.
Nta but definietely an idiot🤣wtf man? U can arrive to the same conclusion after some fun time. R u waiting until after marriage?
Not the asshole if the roles are reversed, they would call you a creeper and a rapist
welcome to the Magnificent world of being gasoline no matter what end of the argument you’re on…. anyways my friend, if you’re looking to join the rest of the men… they are currently congregating down in the basement because the penthouse is for the women
But it’s not all bad. I hear there is a glass ceiling up there 🤣
YTA, and a misogynistic
She might have slept with another guy? Oh noooo! Men fucking whine when women sleep with “too many” men, then whine when a woman won’t sleep with them.
Not if you’re looking for a wife
NTA, but also you’re in college, get use to people being like that.
NTA. You’re allowed to have your standards, however, it’s weird to judge people based on how sexually forward they are. It’s 2025 brother. Girls aren’t lesser for fuckin when they want.
NTA, I suppose. You do you, SpongeRobert.
NTA. Simple as that.
so she’s mad you didn’t respect her desires, but she is free to disrespect your boundaries.
No one’s thoughts or feelings are more important than anyone else’s.
NTA
nta for saying no. its your prerogative and someone trying to convince you after you’ve said no is weird.
but yk, i hope youre not judging people for having sex on first dates.