Hi, I have a 2010 Jeep Liberty that looks how you’d expect it to look. It has sun spots on it from when the dealership left it out in the sun whilst working on a new engine for me. So I’ve never really cared too much about the looks. The car drives just fine.
Recently my wife took my kids over to hangout with their grandma, and my wife not mentioning that they decided it was a great idea to spray car primer all over the sun spots on my car. Nobody consulted me on this, nobody told me they were going to do this. Nothing. In fact I found out when I was going to Qdoba before work. So imagine how livid I was.
My wife took part in it, but this is something similar that my MIL had done in the past to her car as well. So I knew it was my MIL idea. As I found out, she was the person who started it. Neither of these ppl work, and to do something like that is just mind boggling. I fault my wife for not having that communication with me and telling me in the first place. But I also blame MIL for acting out a literal crime and having her daughter join in her shenanigans because I truly believe she didn’t want to be the only one blamed for it.
To me there’s no “silver lining”. I don’t see as “trying to help” I see at MIL used this as a moment to deface something I own while dragging her daughter in on it. I’m just at a loss of words right now and could use anything to cheer me up….
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Hi, I have a 2010 Jeep Liberty that looks how you’d expect it to look. It has sun spots on it from when the dealership left it out in the sun whilst working on a new engine for me. So I’ve never really cared too much about the looks. The car drives just fine.
Recently my wife took my kids over to hangout with their grandma, and my wife not mentioning that they decided it was a great idea to spray car primer all over the sun spots on my car. Nobody consulted me on this, nobody told me they were going to do this. Nothing. In fact I found out when I was going to Qdoba before work. So imagine how livid I was.
My wife took part in it, but this is something similar that my MIL had done in the past to her car as well. So I knew it was my MIL idea. As I found out, she was the person who started it. Neither of these ppl work, and to do something like that is just mind boggling. I fault my wife for not having that communication with me and telling me in the first place. But I also blame MIL for acting out a literal crime and having her daughter join in her shenanigans because I truly believe she didn’t want to be the only one blamed for it.
To me there’s no “silver lining”. I don’t see as “trying to help” I see at MIL used this as a moment to deface something I own while dragging her daughter in on it. I’m just at a loss of words right now and could use anything to cheer me up….
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) I messaged her mom a very lengthy message stating that either she can get this fixed or I’ll simply take her to small claims court. This lady takes out of her ssc so she clearly doesn’t have the funds, and my wife is 9 months the pregnant so nobodg has the funds. So am i the asshole for expecting payment knowing they don’t even havee a way to pay me back?
2.) clearly since they don’t have a job am I an asshole for expecting “too much” almost??
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1.) I messaged her mom a very lengthy message stating that either she can get this fixed or I’ll simply take her to small claims court. This lady takes out of her ssc so she clearly doesn’t have the funds, and my wife is 9 months the pregnant so nobody has the funds. So am i the asshole for expecting payment knowing they don’t even have a way to pay me back?
NTA. That’s your car, not a community art project. They should absolutely cover the cost of fixing it
It might have been MILs idea, but your wife allowed it. So yeah, YTA if you think MIL owes you a paint job.
Info: Why didn’t the dealership fix the sunspots?
You are married and your WIFE was involved with this. Unless your wife was screaming no while your MIL did this alone, you cannot expect your MIL to pay to paint your car.
YTA. Your wife is a grown woman who chose to participate in this. Your MIL didn’t hold a gun to her head. Your wife is the one who took the car, allowed her mother to possibly start the process, and then joined in. The only person to blame here is your wife. Your MIL doesn’t owe you anything.
Yta. Is it shitty? Yes. Are you married? Yes. Your wife participated and didn’t stop her. I would be mad. I wouldn’t expect to force mil to pay. We would be setting up some boundaries and I would be having a talk with my wife though. I would feel disrespected and frustrated.
ESH. Wife and mom are ah for painting your car. You are the ah for not recognizing your wife’s agency in this and solely blaming your mil.
YTA
this is ALL your wife’s fault. YOUR Wife borrowed your car, SHE was responsible for it. Your WIFE sprayed it (or allowed it to be sprayed), while she was responsible for it.
So: YOur wife needs to pay for the damage. SHE could have simply not done it, or said NO.
YTA. Your wife was there. In the end she allowed it to happen and helped. So, even if your MIL had the idea, in the end your wife agreed. And why are you so upset about this if you don’t care how it looks and it’s a 15 year old car?
NTA
But your wife is and so is your mother in law. Tell your wife its up to her to get it sorted as she was complicit in what was going on and if she wants to get her mum to pay then that’s up to her. As far as you are concerned its your wife’s fault so she can get it fixed.
YTA. YOUR WIFE, YOUR CHILDREN, and then your MIL did this. So somehow you think your MIL is solely responsible? You can’t afford to paint the car but your wife is pregnant again? I mean man come on you guys have kids (plural) you can’t afford to repaint a car but you can afford another kid? Bro please get a vasectomy and stop having children you can’t afford.
YTA
Your MIL has nothing to do with this story. Your wife is the one you need to talk to here. Doesn’t matter how much you don’t like your MIL, your wife is the one who knows you, and is responsible for considering what you’re feeling.