Hello. I (f22) still live with my parents (f44, m52), as they need my support taking care of my little brother (6). He is a special needs kid, and while I do love and take care of him on a daily basis, I have to admit that he’s quite a handful, as he doesn’t verbally communicate and doesn’t like to listen to adults.
I’m a nurse, often working 12 or 24h shifts, which can be incredibly exhausting. This morning I came back from work at around 7:30am, when my mother asked me to care for my little brother while she went out. I said yes, saw my brother was still sleeping, and being dead tired I snuggled up to him and went to sleep myself.
I woke up at noon, and that’s when I noticed that he had trashed the whole house while I was snoozing. I’m taking chocolate on furniture, kitchen utensils in the couch cushions, toilet paper and other little things thrown about across the whole house. I got out of bed, found him, made some breakfast for him and me and set about cleaning the house.
My mother came back about half an hour later, while I was still busy cleaning, and she was livid. After cleaning the house, I went out for a smoke break, at which point she called me and cried over the phone about how she can’t trust me anymore and that I was a bad sister for sleeping while he wrecked the house (we keep the front door always locked and all the dangerous chemicals out of reach, so he wasn’t ever in any real danger). I told her that I couldn’t keep my eyes open if I tried and hung up.
Now, I feel like an ass because I probably should’ve told her so this morning, but I also think it wasn’t that big of a deal—we cleaned the house up by about 3pm. So.. AITA?
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Hello. I (f22) still live with my parents (f44, m52), as they need my support taking care of my little brother (6). He is a special needs kid, and while I do love and take care of him on a daily basis, I have to admit that he’s quite a handful, as he doesn’t verbally communicate and doesn’t like to listen to adults.
I’m a nurse, often working 12 or 24h shifts, which can be incredibly exhausting. This morning I came back from work at around 7:30am, when my mother asked me to care for my little brother while she went out. I said yes, saw my brother was still sleeping, and being dead tired I snuggled up to him and went to sleep myself.
I woke up at noon, and that’s when I noticed that he had trashed the whole house while I was snoozing. I’m taking chocolate on furniture, kitchen utensils in the couch cushions, toilet paper and other little things thrown about across the whole house. I got out of bed, found him, made some breakfast for him and me and set about cleaning the house.
My mother came back about half an hour later, while I was still busy cleaning, and she was livid. After cleaning the house, I went out for a smoke break, at which point she called me and cried over the phone about how she can’t trust me anymore and that I was a bad sister for sleeping while he wrecked the house (we keep the front door always locked and all the dangerous chemicals out of reach, so he wasn’t ever in any real danger). I told her that I couldn’t keep my eyes open if I tried and hung up.
Now, I feel like an ass because I probably should’ve told her so this morning, but I also think it wasn’t that big of a deal—we cleaned the house up by about 3pm. So.. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I slept while babysitting.
(2) He messed up the whole house while I was supposed to take care of him.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
> I told her that I couldn’t keep my eyes open if I tried and hung up.
Then why did you agree to watch your brother in the first place?
Your not granted u live at home so u should help around but u have your own life u should be able to go to work busting your butt and then come home and relax u already have a hard job I know I could not do it at least u helped clean up so I think u are not an ass
You’re NTA. She should not have asked you to watch your brother for several hours the moment you were coming off a 12-24 hour shift.
And don’t your parents sleep at night when they’re supposed to be watching their child?
NTA
Hopefully the home is safe for your brother in general, child proof.
You’re not an asshole, you’re human.
As parents we all go to the bathroom, take showers and sometimes sleep. There are times when we are sick too and it’s just us.
You lock
The doors so they can’t open them, you have baby proofing everywhere so they can’t open cabinets etc.
Life happens.
Next time tell your mom, hey, I just came off a long shift and I don’t feel safe watching him. So no.
It’s pretty unreasonable for her to expect you to work all night and stay up all day looking after your brother. How would she have reacted if you refused to
And now you don’t help anymore. That’s it done.
She can’t trust you, she’d better not ask. Ever again. Oh, and you’ll be moving out.
NTA. It’s time to move out. That sentence about staying to help is so wrong. They had another child. He is their child. Not you.
Imagine this, you are at work and you make a mistake as you’re exhausted. What are the repercussions of this?
Please don’t let your parents manipulate you. If they need help then they need to look for it elsewhere whilst they let you grow up. Is their plan for you to look after your brother when they are older?
NTA. You’re doing them a favour by helping but doing it immediately after a nursing shift of ANY timeframe? Hell no.
Your mom saw you’d just come home from work, where your shifts are a minimum of 12 hours, and then disappeared for six hours? NTA, but you should probably look for your own place that doesn’t require you to stay awake 24/7 to provide free babysitting. Your parents need to figure this out on their own,.