All I (M19) wanted to do is to just make new friends. But I was such an idiot for falling into a trap and lost about RM3K and have to pay another RM2K in the next 12 hours
I wanted to over come my introvert self and decided to download a dating app called TanTa. Just to see if I could talk to people and you know, maybe find a girlfriend. I’ve never really interacted with girls throughout my life so I was going into this blind with no expectations. A few days goes by and nothing bad, until literally 3 hours ago I matched with a 23 year old female. We chatted a bit on the app before moving over to telegram and chatted even more. Then things started to take a turn when her messages started to get spicy. And then we went into a video call and I only showed my face for like half a second before turning the camera off and I started telling her not to do these kinds of stuff cause there will be someone out there for them
Man I was such an idiot. The next thing I know, they sent a picture of my face along with my Instagram account showing off all of my followers and even took it too far to almost sending a fake video of me to my university’s account and started to demand some money. I was really scared at the moment as I pictured my life flashing before my eyes thinking the amount of damage he’ll put on me and my poor family. Out of horror, I negotiated with him down to RM5K and followed his steps like a fucking asshole. I was only able to transfer RM3K to him and he gave me 12 hours to get the rest of the money ready. Man I felt so scared, stupid and ashamed of myself for falling for a trap like that.
Idk how I’m even going to open up to my parents about this. How I used the money for my uni fees on a fucking scammer. I really, truly can use any of your advices right now. Call me an idiot, an asshole for falling for this stupid shit, I just need some help and advice. Please, I’m so fucking scared.
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All I (M19) wanted to do is to just make new friends. But I was such an idiot for falling into a trap and lost about RM3K and have to pay another RM2K in the next 12 hours
I wanted to over come my introvert self and decided to download a dating app called TanTa. Just to see if I could talk to people and you know, maybe find a girlfriend. I’ve never really interacted with girls throughout my life so I was going into this blind with no expectations. A few days goes by and nothing bad, until literally 3 hours ago I matched with a 23 year old female. We chatted a bit on the app before moving over to telegram and chatted even more. Then things started to take a turn when her messages started to get spicy. And then we went into a video call and I only showed my face for like half a second before turning the camera off and I started telling her not to do these kinds of stuff cause there will be someone out there for them
Man I was such an idiot. The next thing I know, they sent a picture of my face along with my Instagram account showing off all of my followers and even took it too far to almost sending a fake video of me to my university’s account and started to demand some money. I was really scared at the moment as I pictured my life flashing before my eyes thinking the amount of damage he’ll put on me and my poor family. Out of horror, I negotiated with him down to RM5K and followed his steps like a fucking asshole. I was only able to transfer RM3K to him and he gave me 12 hours to get the rest of the money ready. Man I felt so scared, stupid and ashamed of myself for falling for a trap like that.
Idk how I’m even going to open up to my parents about this. How I used the money for my uni fees on a fucking scammer. I really, truly can use any of your advices right now. Call me an idiot, an asshole for falling for this stupid shit, I just need some help and advice. Please, I’m so fucking scared.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> For falling into a scam trap. I’m an IT student and should’ve saw it coming but I didn’t
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You’ve just been weak, and that’s bad, this scammer likely will ask for more money. Get the police involved.
NTA If you give them the money, they will only ask for more. If you can, get your old money back by doing a chargeback of some sort. Also get the police involved.
Don’t pay. These scammers just like to threaten but dont follow up. They go to the next victim. These scammers are professionals. They know how to scare people and it’s against the law. Once again, don’t pay. They will continue to chase after you but it’s all talk. It’s a common scam. Don’t feel stupid. It happens.
Go to r/scams
Asshole? no, naive? probably. For future reference these kinds of scams rely on making you panic and pay up because of it. You’ll be surprised how quickly they lose interest and stop threatening if you don’t pay them anything and dont panic. If they can’t get money from you they have nothing to gain from posting anything and their threats usually go away, ive experienced it myself. They’re after the ppl that instantly panic and pay. Report them on any platforms you have ties to them and close any social media/dating accounts if you have to.
Just say tell parents/school etc anything sent as blackmail is fake/AI generated and stop giving scammers/blackmailers money?
They rely on shame and time pressure to get them to send them money. I know Malaysia is a conservative society but what really do they have blackmail on you for? especially if you just says its fake.
NAH, I think, though I understand why people might disagree. Your behavior strike me as thoroughly idiotic, but not assholery. Your biggest mistake is deciding to pay your blackmailers. Let me point you to r/Scams
Do not pay. I have jerked off on zoom for years. (With face) have posted hella nude pics and videos of myself online and you wanna know the truth? No one gives a shit. NOR your friends not your parents a dick is just a dick. Who cares if they send a pic of it to your Friends just deny that shit. No one in your life cares. Your an adult
The scammers are the AH here for taking advantage of a young kid. There’s no shame in being on a dating site.
Were you an idiot? No shade but yeah.. but you live and learn.
My advice is don’t put off talking to your parents, and although it probably won’t get your money back, report it to the police.
Also see if you can report the transaction to the payment provider, saying it was blackmail and get the money back. A couple of months back I got an email relating to a project I support asking for donations to keep going. I made quite a generous donation but realised something was off when I got a message asking me to send again for reasons I won’t go into. Turns out the legitimate email of the project had been hijacked by scammers. I reported to paypal with a link where the head of the project acknowledged the hijacking and got a full refund.
The scammers actually tried phoning me to see what was up but I didn’t bother answering.
The first clue is telegram, not sure there is anything legit on that app,
Dont pay anymore. There is no end to blackmail. If you get caught flushing your money away, you confirm it. Its not like your parents wont find out you’re out 3 grand, thats better than 5 grand. And if youre out 5 grand, what will you then tell your parents when you have to fess you lost your funding? And in a few days or weeks, another demand with the same threat will come. Are you going to pay 10 grand? 20? 100?