I35f have 3 children all enrolled in extra curricular’s. My oldest daughter who’s 13, plays in softball and has for years. I live in a smaller town, so I know the other girls parents and we are well aquatinted I even consider a few of them friends. We take turns having big huge sleepovers for the girls at our homes and this weekend it was my daughters weekend.
We had never discussed what we should and should not feed the girls, just allergies and such so I didn’t think there were “rules.” My other child is also in sports and I have never had complains about this either and I’ve hosted these sleepovers before, just not this season yet and there are a few mothers newer parents to the team. Anyways, I had bought the girls pizza and breadsticks, and had pink or regular lemonade offered for dinner. I also had a lot of snacks, mostly chips, but I did bake some brownies as well. The next morning I had just got a lot of Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s 15 girls I’m feeding so I figured it was easiest because these type of things feed alot of children. My children don’t normally eat like this either, I just was excited for the first sleepover at our house this season.
Anyways, I’ve gotten some complains from the newer moms to have joined the group in our groupchat, and have said that I shouldn’t be loading their children up on sugar and junk food and how their kids don’t eat like that at home. I replied back that it was a sleepover it was suppose to be a fun event for the girls so what was the big deal? That offended them; they accused me of undermining their parenting and said there daughters wouldn’t be coming to my daughters sleepovers anymore unless I decided to feed them better food. This caused an argument because like I said no one has ever mentioned what they feed the children at these sleepovers, and there was never any “rules.” I thought it was fair game. I then again said it was just fun food, it was a slumber party, and a few of the other parents agreed with me.
A few hours later that mother replied in the gc that her daughter would no longer be coming to any events at my home since I couldn’t see that fun food was just a different word for junk. Then called me a lousy mother for feeding children up with that shit, then left the groupchat.
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I35f have 3 children all enrolled in extra curricular’s. My oldest daughter who’s 13, plays in softball and has for years. I live in a smaller town, so I know the other girls parents and we are well aquatinted I even consider a few of them friends. We take turns having big huge sleepovers for the girls at our homes and this weekend it was my daughters weekend.
We had never discussed what we should and should not feed the girls, just allergies and such so I didn’t think there were “rules.” My other child is also in sports and I have never had complains about this either and I’ve hosted these sleepovers before, just not this season yet and there are a few mothers newer parents to the team. Anyways, I had bought the girls pizza and breadsticks, and had pink or regular lemonade offered for dinner. I also had a lot of snacks, mostly chips, but I did bake some brownies as well. The next morning I had just got a lot of Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s 15 girls I’m feeding so I figured it was easiest because these type of things feed alot of children. My children don’t normally eat like this either, I just was excited for the first sleepover at our house this season.
Anyways, I’ve gotten some complains from the newer moms to have joined the group in our groupchat, and have said that I shouldn’t be loading their children up on sugar and junk food and how their kids don’t eat like that at home. I replied back that it was a sleepover it was suppose to be a fun event for the girls so what was the big deal? That offended them; they accused me of undermining their parenting and said there daughters wouldn’t be coming to my daughters sleepovers anymore unless I decided to feed them better food. This caused an argument because like I said no one has ever mentioned what they feed the children at these sleepovers, and there was never any “rules.” I thought it was fair game. I then again said it was just fun food, it was a slumber party, and a few of the other parents agreed with me.
A few hours later that mother replied in the gc that her daughter would no longer be coming to any events at my home since I couldn’t see that fun food was just a different word for junk. Then called me a lousy mother for feeding children up with that shit, then left the groupchat.
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> I fed my daughters softball team pizza and Dunkin’ Donuts while at my home, and another mother got angry. We got into an argument and said her daughter would no longer be attending events at my home then called me a lousy mother and left the groupchat. I might be the ah because the food I gave them was sweet fun foods.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
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NTA
NTA. If the parents don’t want their child to join in that’s in them and they can deal with their kid missing out.
NTA. These dumb parents are complaining because you fed their kids (with YOUR money) sugary foods for a single sleepover? They clearly lack a good understanding of how nutrition works because two meals of pizza and donuts isn’t going to kill anyone who doesn’t have severe medical issues.
NTA but I see where they are coming from. I also have no suggestion for a better party food though.
I’m gonna go with NTA here. These moms never communicated any dietary restrictions to you and as a parent that’s their responsibility if they’re letting someone else look after their child for a night. And honestly you’re correct, sleepovers ARE supposed to be fun. These are supposed to be bonding activities for the team and stuff like this is supposed to be a treat. Also you’re feeding fifteen children, I don’t blame you for taking the easy option of pizza and chips. Maybe you shouldn’t have argued with them and simply said you’d provide different options in the future for the girls but what’s done is done now.
You are def not the asshole and Im sure the kids had the best time which is the most important thing! The other parents are just jealous because they can’t lodge that stick out their ahole and allow their kids to be kids once in a while. Like you said it was a treat and I’m sure the kids talked the night up great to their parents (much more than when they host I’m sure).
NTA they should of said something before if they were that precious about it
YTA. You fed 13-year-olds pizza, chips, lemonade, brownies, and donuts—all in one sleepover and acted shocked when parents got pissed?
You knew there were new moms, but never once thought to check if expectations changed? That’s not “fun,” that’s just not thinking.
You say your kids “don’t normally eat like this”… so why is it suddenly okay when it’s 15 other people’s kids?
And calling it “just snacks” doesn’t fix it. Also that’s not one treat, it’s a buffet of garbage. No balance, no options, just sugar and grease.
This isn’t about being the “fun mum.” It’s about respecting other parents’ standards and not assuming your version of fun is universal.
You weren’t malicious, though.
I don’t think you’re an asshole for feeding girls junk food at a sleepover. Who doesn’t expect pizza ??
A fruit or veggie tray is fun for sleepovers too.
If they want to feed the girls kale salads they can. On their turn.
We’ll see who’s going to be the favorite.
NTA if their kids can’t have pizza and donuts ONCE then they are setting them up for a lifetime of disordered eating!
NTA – Yes, it is a lot of junk food, but it’s a sleepover. Could you have offered some healthy snacks like a veggie tray? Sure. Would I expect it if i sent my kid? No.
Feeding 15 kids each a portion of baked chicken with veggies is a lot of work when you can simply order a pizza with your phone.
NTA. This seems like typical food for a softball party, especially when it’s one household feeding the entire team. If I sent my kid to a sleepover like this, this is exactly how I’d expect them to eat. It’s one night, it’s not going to do harm. Take this from a parent who obsesses over my kids getting enough fruit and veggies! Sometimes, eating “healthy” just isn’t realistic given the situation. Kuddos to you for being a nice mom by letting all these teenagers into your home and getting them all food.
NTA.
You were hosting the event. As the host, you determine the menu. If one of the girls had a dietary restrictions or if the parents had strong feelings about food, they should let you know beforehand. The topic of food was never brought up. So you were free to do what you thought best.
Pizza seems like a perfectly normal choice for a large sleep-over. Cereal may have been a better option for breakfast, but it was just one day, It’s not going to do any harm.
But, now that you know how the other parents feel, give them a heads up on the planned menu before the party.
NTA. More food for everyone else.
Soft NTA. I never love it when my daughter sleeps over at a house and they give her tons of sugar, including for breakfast, but I don’t say anything either because it isn’t every weekend. Brownies and lemonade at night and doughnuts the next morning is kind of a lot of sugar. You didn’t know at the time that the other moms would get upset, but you could’ve responded in a way that encouraged discussion and compromise.
[Edited for clarity]
NTA – Where I live, sleepovers mean "junk" food- a night eating like that won’t kill them.
INFO: Were there no fruits or vegetables offered at all?
Your menu as stated in the post, in all fairness, is very imbalanced. I understand it is only for one day, but would it have killed you to put out a vegetable platter with ranch? Or a fruit salad with the donuts? Or even something like trail mix alongside the chips?
Your menu really is just loading them up on carbs and sugar. Again, I know it’s just for one day and at their age they can go mostly unaffected by it, but it is striking that there was no balance at all.
NTA
If the parents who are complaining about it actually cared as much as they are portraying, they would’ve said before the sleepover what their kid should/shouldn’t have. If it really did bother her and she genuinely wanted to get across to you to stop feeding their child that stuff she could have had a private conversation requesting politely to stop. Then if you disagreed or there was no compromise she could decide to let her child stay or go. The way about this especially the ending of her calling you a lousy mother shows her immaturity and her inability’s to have a civil conversation. However the entire conversation that took place could have definitely been handled better from both sides.
NTA. Sending your child to someone else’s home comes with the understanding that they will do things differently. The other mother is being unreasonable. The event already happened, and no clear communication was set, so you didn’t do anything wrong. I think in the future you could mix in some healthier options (like a yogurt parfait bar for breakfast, or an optional salad with dinner), but no expectation was set in advance that it be available. Also, you are feeding 15 kids on your dime and you have to find something they will all like… that’s going to be pizza. Unfortunately for that lady’s daughter, I think she is going to be sitting out a lot of sleepovers.
NTA. The other parents are being ridiculous. Kids should have nutritious, healthy meals, but a pizza party every now and then won’t hurt them. How else are you supposed to feed 15 girls? Did the other moms expect you to prepare a homecooked meal all of them?
NTA – teenagers are old enough to make their own food choices. You can serve what you choose and they can eat what they choose. If they don’t like your food choices, they can bring their own.
It takes a lot of nerve for these other parents to CRITICIZE you for hosting and feeding their children, honestly. They can host and feed the kids if their standards are so very high.
These parents sound exhausting.
YTA
One "fun" food, fine.
To make less than healthy choices for the entire night and the next morning looks like intention.
Most folks don’t eat like that.
And for fun but far healthier options:
Tacos, baked potato bar with lots of toppings,
Breakfast yogurt parfaits with fruit and granola
Good news. We all feel empowered to intervene in situations. Bad news. Politeness still counts in certain situations. See harassment? Speak up. No politeness necessary. Not comfortable with your kids eating chips? Speak to the other parent in private in a polite manner. Offer to help. Other parents may be overwhelmed, can’t afford organic fruit for 15 or any other reason.
NTA if my kid is there, I figure they are going to eat junk! As it would be (and is) at my house! This is how it was for me at friends houses growing up.
This is a fun one off. Not an everytime thing!
I mean look, no, NTA, but pizza, brownies and donuts all in a 12-hour period? That is definitely a lot.
I was with you until I read about the doughnuts for breakfast, and then I judged you hard.
But then I got my shit together and gave it some thought. Yeah, I would never consider that for any sort of meal, but I do know people who regularly have a pastry and a cup of coffee for breakfast – kids get cafe au lait or a glass of milk instead of brewed coffee or espresso, and they seem fine. So I had to check my judgeyness and look at it again. You had 15 kids to feed, no specific nutritional rules to follow, and a once only fatty breakfast isn’t going to hurt anyone.
NTA by a long shot, but that mum needs to grow up.
Those moms are setting their kids up for some serious eating disorders later in life. Eating “junk” once in a while as a treat is a much healthier approach than militant restriction.
NTA I’m super curious on what those pearl clutchers serve at their sleepovers
Huge NTA. You’re a good Mom, don’t let these bags get you down. I grew up with a girl whose parents were so strict on what their daughter could eat that she never had a fast food burger or Kraft dinner or candy or anything “junk” until she was 18 and could buy it herself. Backfired, She went crazy for it, blew right up.
NTA – as someone who grew up never being allowed to have any fun food, I have no idea how to self regulate when it comes to food now. Teaching young girls that it’s okay to have those foods occasionally as a treat is SUPER important.
NTA- You listed what is literally served at basically every tween and teen sleepover since the beginning of time. Nothing on the menu is surprising in the least. At 13, the girls can regulate themselves and what they eat. I bet not a single girl asked for a salad or whatever to munch on instead. What are the other parents serving?
Edited for typo
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NTA – if they didn’t communicate, then it’s fair game. If they want to be that extra, tell them to send appropriate snacks/meals with them to the next sleepover. Also, their kids ffs! Parents need to stop with the BS and let them be kids. They’ll burn it off at practice or the next game..
Be sure the next sleepover your daughter is invited (if she even is) to send her with the stuff she wants to eat/snack on cause I’m sure it’s gonna be bland, bougie and lame..
NTA
Are any other parents speaking up? I have a kid that age and this type of food is completely standard at any sleepover/party they’ve gone to. Seriously it’s always either pizza or hotdogs for dinner and doughnuts or pancakes for breakfast. It’s just a given, especially when it’s such a large group.
She sounds like a lot of fun. 🙄 Kids have to eat like kids sometimes- and you shouldn’t have to steam broccoli for a bunch of other people’s children. I’d also like to see this “healthy” menu they are featuring at a sleep over. I remember my one friend’s house who had Pop Tarts when I was a kid – what a treat! 😂
NTA say thank you and go on
NTA. They didn’t communicate anything ahead of time. Your use of the word “fun food” applies in this situation because it’s a “fun event” not a regular old day. Just like when people go to an amusement park they eat funnel cake and whatever other junk is there, it’s part of the fun. Next time, keep the pizza but maybe add a veggie platter as the snack, and in the morning offer fruit in addition to the doughnuts.
NTA but whenever my daughter (soon to be 12) ever has a new friend sleepover I do tell her parents/guardian that we typically eat pizza for dinner and let the girls pick out their own snacks and drinks and that usually ends up being chips and soda that way if they don’t agree they can tell me before we go to the store. Since I’m friends with the moms I usually get “chips and soda is fine”. I just give them a heads up if it is their first time sleeping over at my house. Usually do bagels or donuts in the morning.
Pizza and doughnuts sound good to me. NTA. Like you said, sleepovers are supposed to be fun. Eating junk food is part of that.
Those mom’s can eat shit
NTA there is no such thing as junk food. That’s diet culture bs. I feel sorry for their kids.
NTA
Pizza is classic sleepover food.
NTA- unless you serve junk again next time without providing healthy alternatives per their requests. They apparently framed their displeasure as a threat in the future tense “… unless I decided to feed them better food.” So give their kids better options. Next time.
And instead of buying a bunch of Dunkin’ Donuts you could pre-bake some healthy muffins (or stop by a Whole Foods and buy them there). It doesn’t sound like you would have to go way out of your way to accommodate their concerns.
You could also suggest they provide whatever appropriate snacks they might prefer with their children.
Also, you could simply find out what they do at their sleepovers and copy some hybrid version of that.
They can drop off healthy food for their own daughter to eat. Whether the girl eats what her mom sent, or what you provide, is between them. 13 is old enough for the mom to make that rule, and it’s old enough for the daughter to jump into hormonal rage about her controlling mom. You can stay out of it.
Sorry, but that’s a lot of junk food.
NTA in any way and those overbearing, unsufferable helicopter moms need to pull the sticks out of their a$$es.
The food you served is completely typical for any kind of teenage party. It’s not like you had a sleepover for 5-year-olds and all you provided was Kool-Aid, Pop-Tarts and Skittles for 24 hours.
Obviously one doesn’t feed one’s children junk food all the time, but at a sleepover or occasionally? NTA
NTA-these moms are ridiculous. I always thought it was an unspoken rule that kids will load up on fun foods at a sleepover. Pizza is pretty much a given. Especially if it’s that many kids. Who’s gonna cook for this many kids?
Snacks are also always present at every sleepover. What did these moms expect you to offer the kids?
If there’s a next time just also include an obligatory veggie tray nobody will touch and call it a day.
NTA exactly but I do think you should have included some healthy food in the mix too. One thing I always do when I have kids around is make a veggie tray with ranch dressing. Usually I set that out first and it is ALWAYS eaten. Easy to do and the kids love anything with ranch dressing. Yogurt/peanut butter dip with apples is another hit (if no peanut allergies in the group). There are things you could have easily added that, honestly, would have been a good idea.
This was a sports group so health and nutrition should matter, IMHO. Definitely allow the treat food too but I would always look to balance something really sugary, like donuts, with a solid protein (scrambled eggs with cheese and maybe some sausage too?).
This conversation in gc should have been kinder and gentler without rancor, but you have to know you are in charge of nutrition for some young athletes and could have done better without too much more effort.
NTA. Have any of these newer moms who are complaining hosted yet? I’d be petty and thank them in the group chat for all the healthy food they’ll be buying with their own money when it’s their turn. Your sleepover sounds like a great time! They’re kids! They should be eating pizza and having fun!
NTA. I understand that there are so many easily accessible junk foods out there and that the movement to eat healthier is a strong, necessary one. However, at fun events like a team sleepover, the kids want these foods because it’s for one weekend, and isn’t everyday food for most of them.
These moms need to chill out. What do they plan on serving? Probably grilled chicken breast with zero seasoning and plain lettuce? Watch how many kids so up for their sleepovers.
You had guests, and you tried to give them a fun time. NTA.
NTA but that poor child, her mother sounds like a nightmare. Sure, kids shouldn’t eat like that every day but every once in awhile isn’t gonna hurt them especially if they’re active & in sports.
NTA
NTA – I get both sides but this should have been discussed before hand and she seems a little hot headed and rude so you’re probably dodging a bullet but I would keep an ear out to make sure this mom isn’t the cause of her child being isolated. Sometimes the kids suffer because none of the regular parents want to deal with the problem parents.
I wouldn’t be mad if my kid had that at someone else’s house. If I felt it was excessive I would cut out sugary stuff for my kid the rest of the day. Maybe next time you could set some bananas and gogurt out so there are some “healthier” options available so no one can come after you (yogurt also has a lot of sugar but most people consider it to be healthier – no one come for me or debate it with me please 😂). Or whatever you would buy for your family that is deemed healthier. That way if it’s not eaten by attendees it’s not going to waste (bagels and cream cheese, cereal, etc).
I guess another option is to communicate with parents beforehand what you’ll be serving so they have the option to decline attendance or send what they want their kid to eat with them.
NTA. But…how often are these sleepovers happening? What are the other parents who have been doing this regularly been offering the kids? Because if it’s everyone feeding party food every weekend then I think it could be a problem in the grand scheme. While you didn’t mean any harm, and it’s pretty common practice to serve those foods to kids at slumber parties, maybe it’s time to have some discussions around nutrition at the slumber parties. There are lots of foods that are fun yet still have more nutrients and less sugars and fats.
NTA: other mom is making it about her wishes not the kids. Sad parenting.
NTA. Choosing healthier snacks is more or less a thing when kids are toddlers and yes, we all would offer fruit and water at playdates so as to not rock the boat. But once they hit teens, the girls know what they should or should not eat. I hosted 10 twelve year old girls at my house Friday and a few other moms actually sent their girls WITH junk food as a “thank you” to me for being the host. My daughter doesn’t drink Sprite during the week, but for sleepover I bought a case. The moms who didn’t send snacks had nothing to say to me except “thanks for hosting, you’re a saint.” Our girls are also all athletes and healthy eaters all week long. In your case, I’d consider it a blessing these moms wont let their girls come to your house anymore. I wouldn’t want anyone coming over whose parents criticize food choices. It shows they can’t trust their girls to make decisions for themselves or they want to control everything about them and IMO this leads to unnecessary power struggles (not to mention possible eating disorders down the road). One time I offered to get my son’s 14yo friend a milkshake and his response was “oh my parents wouldn’t approve of that.” So I respected his choice and their rules. It’s not that hard. These moms are being petty and only hurting their daughters.
100% NTA. This is silly. Eating “junk food” is what sleepovers are for!! Pizza, lemonade, and donuts for breakfast are what I associate with classic sleepover and birthday party food. What did she expect, salads at the sleepover? Then her kid wouldn’t wanna come back lol. That bums me out for her kids. Eating healthy is important, but personally, I’m teaching my kids it’s ok to treat yourself and have fun!
Don’t let her get to you. I imagine all the other parents thought her actions were off base too. Sounds like she’s not off to a great start. If she wanted to prevent her kid from eating pizza, the most common food to serve at a sleepover for teenage girls, she should’ve said something.
You’re a great mom and parent, keep doing you!
NTA
Let all the moms who want healthier food that next time you’ll be sending each of them an itemized bill for each child and your Venmo/Cash App number to cover the extra expense of healthy food for their kids. NTA.
NTA and excluding her daughter from future sleepovers over a matter the mother herself failed to communicate is a dick move.
NTA. It’s polite to bring something to share at sleepover, so the entitled parent should have sent her child with a veggie platter or whatever, if she absolutely needed to have a well-rounded snack selection for that, 12 hour period, most of which is spent sleeping.
Holy, give a girl an eating disorder!!! There is a time and place for junk food, and that’s a sleep-over. I can almost bet those mothers are hitting the wine nightly too. I wouldn’t sweat it, I also wouldn’t want my kid hanging out with a bunch of girls that are so unhung up on food 24/7. NTA, having a healthy relationship with food is so important.
NTA that’s what sleepovers are for.
That’s a big NTA. If those parents have restrictions on their kid’s food, that’s fine for them. I even think it is fine for them to want you to serve them healthier food. HOWEVER, these parents should have talked to you first before they send their child to someone else’s home and figured out if this sleepover would fit their parenting style.
Anyone saying y t a has never been to a sleepover.
If yall think brownies and then donuts is too much, wait till you find out about all the candy that’s eaten overnight during the sleepover that the kids bring for themselves.
NTA literally eating junk food for 24 hours is half the point of a sleepover
NTA it’s one thing to worry about kids eating healthy but the occasional pizza and donuts isn’t going to hurt. That other mother expecting a full ban on any sort of junk food is likely slowly setting her daughter up for disordered eating in future.
Has she hosted yet? What do the other Mom’s that have been around the block serve when it’s their turn?
NTA
Obsession with heathy eating is also an eating disorder that many don‘t know. Indulging yourself every now and then is healthier than following a completely restrictive diet. Now ofcourse it is impossible to know if that mother has ED from one post but had she any preference for her kid she should have packed some food or informed you.
nta. You should see the food my son and his friends would buy when they had sleepovers. it’s a SLEEPOVER there is nothing healhy occurring here and now. It’s not like you fed them sewage water and roasted subway rats.
NTA, but it’s probably a good idea to at least have something healthy in some way available for snacking in the future. One day of low nutrition, high carb, high fat food isn’t going to kill them, but they are young athletes, yes? Depending on their level of activity, a few meals in a row without proper nutrition can throw off recovery and performance for a few days. It can also encourage bad eating habits at home, which seems to be the issue with those complaining.
That said, you asked. They didn’t say anything to that effect and apparently just assumed you were asking if they had a lettuce allergy or something. That’s certainly on them.
If your kid has a strict regimen and they’re staying at someone’s home for a few meantimes, you need to tell the person in charge of meals there about that diet in detail or it’s your own fault when it isn’t followed. You aren’t a psychic.
NTA. Any of those parents could have just called and asked what you were serving the kids. With that many kids pizza is easier.
NTA. She sent her kid to sleep over at your house without inquiring about food, so she kind of signed up to be fine with whatever you were feeding them. If she is so particular on how her kid eats for ONE DAY, then she should have taken more initiative before dropping her kid off. Also, i don’t know WTF kind of sleepovers she attended as a kid, but pizza and goodies was the norm at sleepovers in my day and also what i’ve seen at my niece’s sleepovers. Sure, there’s often fruits and veggies, but a lot of the kids don’t even touch it.
I feel bad her daughter is the one that will suffer for this, and i’m sure yours won’t be the only house she won’t be allowed to go to.
These moms probably don’t realize that their kids get their hands on this “junk food” at school too. NTA, you were doing a nice and fun thing as you said
That’s Exactly what I expect my child will be eating if they go to a sleepover. If their child has specifics they aren’t allowed to eat, then that should have been brought up beforehand. You are NTA.
When are women going to start treating each other better and problem solving instead of cancelling each other. NTA
NTA. These parents need to lighten up. Being this restrictive with food can lead to disordered eating later on. The kids were at a party! Let them live a little.
Also, bringing it up in the group chat was catty. If they had a problem with something you were doing, they should have brought it up to you directly.
NTA – no "rules" were in place, and they told you nothing in advance.
Some parents REALLY like to micromanage their kids’ athletics and/or live vicariously through them. Sadly, you’ll run into these parents in every athletic setting – youth leagues, elementary/middle/high school, AAU/travel teams, even collegiate sports.
If they had dietary restrictions then they should have mentioned it. NTA the occasional day of junk food isn’t going to harm anyone.
NTA you fed 15 pre-teens, that’s a lot of money! They should be grateful and definitely not commenting on your parenting. It’s a sleepover, of course there’s junk food!
NTA. My mom always cooked healthy food for our family while I was growing up. But whenever I had a sleepover? It was all pizza, Doritos, and cookie cake because that’s a great time for fun, special occasion food.
NTA- this is typical and expected sleepover food we all had growing up. If they need to control their children’s diet THAT much they should have sent them with food they approve of or communicated it prior to see if you’d be able to accommodate. These parents need to lighten up and live a little.
NAH, I think AH is too strong here, but I do think with that much junk food in half a day you did not make only good choices… Sure, pizza is expected at a sleepover, but I would have at least offered fruit, yogurt and eggs for breakfast I think, to balance out the pizza AND brownies AND chips and and and of the night before. That said, the other parents can’t expect you to stick to a diet that wasn’t communicated. But your response equaling junk food to having fun wasn’t a strong one in my opinion. I don’t think anyone really sucks here but I think y’all could communicate more effectively to avoid some girls being left out due to fights in the parental level, that would be such a shame, as presumably everyone wants best for their kids…
NTA but those other parents definitely are. I feel so bad for their girls. Imagine never being allowed that food in your childhood?
NTA, this is standard party food and these kids are 13. If you are worried about your 13 year old getting exposed to pizza and lemonade at parties then you are (1) over-controlling of your own kids and others and (2) hopelessly naive about the types of things that 13 year olds get exposed to in general
Nta. Has she hosted one? Did she make a “good” dinner for 15 teenagers? Did the girls enjoy it? You mentioned it hasn’t been discussed before… ask your daughter what they normally eat? I find it EXTREMELY hard to believe it’s the norm for other parents to be providing healthy meals for a huge sleepover. I can see lame veggie snacks but again, lame.
If your parenting is “undermined” by your kid having pizza and party snacks during a special occasion, your parenting is extremely weak. Judging from her reaction, betting she’s a shut-in control freak.
One thing that’s important is did the girls have a game the day after the sleepover/junk food fest? They definitely should never eat all that junk if they are playing the next day.
Game = YTA
NO Game = NTA
NTA. She sounds unhinged and like she’s WAY too worried of her daughter’s weight. This reminds me of Jennette McCurdy’s mother in her book I’m Glad My Mom Died tbh, because she limited what she could eat so much that it was a huge deal if she ever ever ate junk food and her mom gave her an ED by doing that to her. I feel so bad for her kid, you did nothing wrong especially if it was literally a one time treat for the slumber party. If she has a strict diet she should have made that clear before sending her kid to your house and expecting you to give the kid 0 snacks.
NTA and it’s hilarious that they ASSumed you have the same food ideas
NTA
The complaining mom is rude bc it is bad manners for a guest (or their mother) to complain about the food offered by their host and criticize your parenting in the process.
NTA – these new moms sound like terrors. If I was hosting 15 teenage girls, you can bet your ass it would be pizza. Sleepovers are supposed to be fun. You are supposed to stay up too late and eat junk food.
Mind you, I grew up in a granola household. Like my mom does bean brownies for sweet treats (highly recommend btw). My parents never once said shit about all the junk we ate at other houses. Maybe you can ask the new moms to provide a packed meal for their kids if they really care that much. Regardless they are excluding their kids in some way.. either from the sleepover or from eating what everyone is eating.
You could try to incorporate a veggie plate. Although I can’t say the teens are going to actually eat healthier options.
What you served all sounds fine to me. I suppose you could have some veggies or a salad with the pizza and maybe some fruit with the breakfast or something If you wanted to add some options. But when I’ve had kids over the basic menu has been exactly what you had! If anyone worried about the menu ahead of time they could ask or just pack the things they want for their child if they are that particular.
Nta
NTA. Events with kids inside junk food. That’s a standard part of parenting. Of course they don’t eat like the day to day but this is an occasional thing. What an odd thing to be upset about
To me it sounds like someone’s kid had a great time at your house and she feels bad that she restricts them and wants you to be not fun like her instead of her unclenching just a little bit. NTA
NTA – and sounds like the lousy parents are those that didn’t communicate “food rules” to the parent or their children! Further more, good luck on that parent and trying to not give their kids an eating disorder by being overly restrictive! Some foods, even “junk foods” have a place in moderation, and “fun foods and special parties” should be taught to go together, to make times special AND teach self control – if that isn’t at a children’s sleepover, then when?! If this parent is trying g to teach “abstinence from all “unhealthy things”” is this a parent you want influencing your child?!
NTA, they’re disordered
NTA and I have been both moms. I have tried to feed teenagers healthy food and gotten complaints and have feed them junk and gotten complaints. There is no winning with that many kids. If you care enough, you can offer a healthy option next time, but in my experience the kids won’t eat it. It’s just there so you can say you tried!
NTA
I understand the importance of eating healthy but a sleepover should be a cheat day.
That mother can set whatever rules she wants for her own daughter (although I personally think she’s making a mistake with hers) but claiming that you having different rules in your own home makes you a lousy mother is absurd and narrow-minded.
Nta. That’s fine my daughter won’t host anymore then
My first reaction is that if these girls had dietary restrictions, they should’ve told you. They know what they should eat and should not eat. Totally NTA. I’m glad you came to Reddit cause at least you got some support. Sounds like a bunch of uncompromising people who helicopter care for their kids or maybe lawnmower parents. for Christ sakes what a ridiculous thing to get upset over and then to be punitive on their kids when they had a good time. Next time, maybe the parent should send a snack and a sack dinner.
If the assholes don’t want you feeding them pizza then they need to say something before, not after. NTA
NTA, they’re all a bit jealous as you just got all the cool mom points and they know it’s going to be impossible to compete now! Petty and jealous.
My granddaughter has a friend with a mother like that. Never let her her kids eat anything she considered bad. As a result, whenever the daughter went to camp, overnight a friend’s house etc she would eat everything she wasn’t allowed at home. She actually ended up in the emergency room a few times from so much binging at camp.
That mother is not doing any favors for her daughter. She’s just going to teach her daughter how to be secretive and binge.
NTA. It’s a sleepover, pizza and such is expected. If Mommy has a problem, she can send her girl over with carrot sticks.