My husband’s cousin (my brother-in-law) and I hadn’t really talked for like 3 years. Fast forward to now , he’s suddenly super friendly. He chats with me, plays with my son, and just seems chill. Sounds nice, right? It is.
But here’s the thing, sometimes when I’m talking to someone else, I catch him looking at me. And if I move to another room, guess what? He follows.
Like, what? Is he just being friendly, or am I reading too much into this?
I like his vibes , don’t get me wrong , he’s nice, playful, and outgoing now. But this “following me around” thing is making me feel a little uneasy. Why do family members suddenly become so noticeable?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
My husband’s cousin (my brother-in-law) and I hadn’t really talked for like 3 years. Fast forward to now , he’s suddenly super friendly. He chats with me, plays with my son, and just seems chill. Sounds nice, right? It is.
But here’s the thing, sometimes when I’m talking to someone else, I catch him looking at me. And if I move to another room, guess what? He follows.
Like, what? Is he just being friendly, or am I reading too much into this?
I like his vibes , don’t get me wrong , he’s nice, playful, and outgoing now. But this “following me around” thing is making me feel a little uneasy. Why do family members suddenly become so noticeable?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because maybe I’m overreacting or misreading his friendliness. He hasn’t done anything clearly wrong, so me feeling weird or keeping my distance might seem rude or unfair to him.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
That’s weird.
Honestly, HTF would any of us know?
And is he your husband’s cousin or your BIL?
have you talked to your husband about this? let him know how this stalking behavior makes you uncomfortable
NTA
How is your husband’s cousin your BIL? Why do you see him a lot now? Are you looking at him so much he thinks you’re flirting? Did your husband show him your nudes and he’s horny? Are you a “pick me”? Who knows! There is sooooo little context here.
When in doubt, follow your gut.
You do not need to ask Reddit. You already know he has a thing for you. How you deal with this is really the question.
NTA
Listen to your gut. If something feels off, it most likely is.
However, you need to inform your husband that this person’s behavior is making you uncomfortable. Your husband should back you up if & when you tell this person off the next time it happens.
Also, don’t be apologetic or accusatory when confronting that cousin – tell him clearly and firmly that his behavior is making you uncomfortable. Tell him that if he persists, you’ll begin avoiding him completely
Have you spoken to you’re husband’s cousin and asked why it seems he follows you around when he visits? The easiest way to clear up any misunderstanding is to address it directly.
He is your cousin-in-law, not a brother-in-law.
NTA. How old is the cousin? Listen to your gut. If this happens again or he escalates, tell you husband.
It’s a family member so why are you over thinking it?
NTA – honor your intuition. Tell him to back off.
Always trust your gut. And tell your husband all he can be aware when his cousin around. Have an extra set of eyes on you.
Maybe he was in a different head space 3 years ago. Now he realizes you are an interesting person. Maybe his family doesn’t treat him well and you are respectful to him. Maybe he needs a friend. Maybe he is a creep, a stocker, a pedi and likes your son.
Stop looking at him when he changes rooms. Continue to treat him with respect and kindness. You have not given any anything nefarious for Reddit to make opinions. Your gut could be wrong.
Trust your gut. Definitely tell your husband that you’re uncomfortable with his actions, but that you can’t confirm his intentions. Be careful of you doing yourself alone with the cousin, set some clear boundaries if he starts acting up, subtle or otherwise.
NTA but talk to your husband. “I’ve noticed your cousin’s been a bit lurky round me lately and it’s making me uncomfortable. Have you noticed anything?” Don’t go straight to any action. But you need to get this behavior onto your husband’s radar, and that you don’t like it. If it’s nothing, it’s nothing. If it’s something, your husband has your initial impression and can either stop it before it is something.