More context: We were out to dinner one night at an expensive hotel. My boyfriend let me borrow his Canon G7X (1800) camera to bring to take pictures with my friends. At the conclusion of the dinner, I went up to the room and realized the camera was gone. I went back right down to the table and no one had seen it. I immediately got with hotel security and she is on video, clear as day, swiping the camera when my back was turned and shoving it in her purse. I covered for her initially with my friend, and contacted her to find a resolution. She had taken the camera with her and my other friends to a club after dinner, which I did not attend, and lost it there. For background, this is my good college friend who I know well (the camera thief). She has been taken on free trips to Coachella and St Barths on my dime (not kidding), as well as many other things. We have done a lot together and are good friends, so I expected her to feel sorry. Initially she lied, saying she did not have it. When I told her we had video, she confessed and then said yes she took it but lost it at the next bar she went to with my other friends. It is now gone. I asked her to help me replace it by going in on me with the cost. She has refused all measured or resolutions, and now I feel I have nothing left to do but file a police report and let them handle it. It is impacting my relationship, and I am furious my friend is not helping at all. Why should I be on the hook for something she stole? I have given her three weeks to help me resolve this, but she insists she is going to do nothing. I am being pressed by my boyfriend to either replace the camera or help him file a report with her info and the footage. I even asked her to just throw in half or less than half the cost to help, but she still refuses. I do not want her to get in trouble, but I am at the point where I feel she really does not care.
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More context: We were out to dinner one night at an expensive hotel. My boyfriend let me borrow his Canon G7X (1800) camera to bring to take pictures with my friends. At the conclusion of the dinner, I went up to the room and realized the camera was gone. I went back right down to the table and no one had seen it. I immediately got with hotel security and she is on video, clear as day, swiping the camera when my back was turned and shoving it in her purse. I covered for her initially with my friend, and contacted her to find a resolution. For background, this is my good college friend who I know well (the camera thief). She has been taken on free trips to Coachella and St Barths on my dime (not kidding), as well as many other things. We have done a lot together and are good friends, so I expected her to feel sorry. Initially she lied, saying she did not have it. When I told her we had video, she confessed and then said yes she took it but lost it at the next bar she went to with my other friends. It is now gone. I asked her to help me replace it by going in on me with the cost. She has refused all measured or resolutions, and now I feel I have nothing left to do but file a police report and let them handle it. It is impacting my relationship, and I am furious my friend is not helping at all. Why should I be on the hook for something she stole? I have given her three weeks to help me resolve this, but she insists she is going to do nothing. I am being pressed by my boyfriend to either replace the camera or help him file a report with her info and the footage. I even asked her to just throw in half or less than half the cost to help, but she still refuses. I do not want her to get in trouble, but I am at the point where I feel she really does not care.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I want to know if i am the ashsole for filing a polcie report and taking serious action against a good friend. I do not feel like a good friend for doing so, even though her actions hurt me I feel like an asshole. I want to know if I am an asshole for not just covering the cost myself or feeling like she needs accountability
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA the next logical step is to file that police report
NTA. Why would you want to stay friends with her knowing her character?
NTA she needs to learn that actions have consequences
NTA. She stole from you. She won’t pay you back. It’s the only thing you can do at this point.
She clearly does not care about your friendship, why should you? Report her. NTA.
YTA – Is there a reason you are choosing your thieving friend over your boyfriend? She’s made it clear she’s not your friend, and that she’s not going to make this right.
The police report should have been filed the moment she said she wasn’t going to pay for it.
If I were your boyfriend I would be reconsidering the relationship with you over this. You’re really dragging your feet to make this right. Get the report made and replace his camera.
NTA
She didn’t lose it. She either still has it or sold it.
There are two options here. Either your “friend” doesn’t actually care about you to the point she feels okay stealing from you, or she’s a compulsive thief who can’t control her urge to steal.
Regardless, she needs to face the consequences of her actions, and you can decide if you want to remain friends with her. Personally I think stealing from friends crosses a line that would ruin my friendship, even if I wasn’t the one stolen from.
She is not your friend; she is a user, and she is using you. Do not wait; file a police report!
NTA report her
girl wtf? If this ridiculous story is true, then please stop being a pushover. You should have reported her that night. Grow a spine and report her and give the police the tape. She is not your friend. Seems like she has not been your friend in a long time and you are too foolish to see it. She obviously uses you for free trips and things. This probably isn’t even the first time she stole from you. The fact that you even hesitated to report her for stealing your bf’s camera is very strange. I would have broken up with you if I were him for not having his back and for trying to protect someone who obviously doesn’t even like or respect you. really YTA for even waiting this long to do anything about it
She is no longer your friend. Report her.
You are enabling this awful person who is NOT your friend.
NTA
But you are an AH to your bf. YOu have dragged your feet long enough. YOU borrowed the camera. Give him the money to buy a new one NOW.
And then you can decide how to handle the situation between yourself and your friend.
NTA. She stole the camera and refuses to help. It’s not your job to cover for her. Filing a report is just protecting yourself and your boyfriend.
Sadly, you have now experienced the FAFO phase with this person.
File the police report and block her from your life.
NTA.
However, you will be if you don’t file the police report and cut her out of your life. She’s not your friend.
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I feel guilty because I gave her time to fix it and she made me look like an idiot. I also feel guilty becuause I know if I could swing it right now I would have replaced it myself. I just cannot at this moment buy a 2k camera.
OP, she doesn’t care. She stole your camera, and you don’t know she actually lost it, she could have just told you that. So here’s what you do. “Ok since you’re clearly refusing to help and I have video evidence you stole the camera, I’m just going to take that footage to the police and let them figure it out. I’ll make sure to give them all of your information so they have no problem finding you.”
NTA she’s not your friend. She stole, she lied about it, probably lied about losing it as well. Question is: Why would she lie? Maybe there is a good reason. But by the sound of it she’s just not your friend and doesn’t care enough.
NTA You can’t even file insurance without a police report
It must be horrible being you, having to ask a thief to repay for something just so she’ll be your friend. Sounds like this thief friend doesn’t give 2-shits about you and has likely been stealing other items undoubtedly.
If you lied to your bf about this, you are clearly an AH!
She is not a friend, she’s an opportunist with parasitical behavior. She will continue to do this to you and in all of her relationships until people hold her accountable. That’s the type of path that creates the type of person who steals cash from her own children.
She should take full responsibility financially and morally and everyone in a friend group you share that will ultimately hear about the situation when she blames you for attacking her should be able to see the footage if they wish so they can protect their own peace and possessions so I hope you have a copy on hand.
I’m all about forgiveness and mercy if the other person has compassion, takes accountability and wants to try to change but she can’t do the bare minimum.
Edit: Also, I don’t buy that she conveniently lost it at the club as if it magically slipped from her bag. It’s just as- if not more likely- she still had it when you confronted her, lied again, and maybe sold it off or is hiding it.
NTA and you’ve given her way more leniency than necessary already. The fact that you even offered to only have her pay part of the cost of it after stealing it is too much. Since she’s refused to help, go ahead and file the report. You have video footage of her stealing it, so that’ll help. Also, save any text messages or communications you have with her, where she’s admitting she took it and refusing to do anything about it to remediate the situation. You’ve already done more than enough to give her a chance.
NTA. Just file the police report now instead of next month. She will get in trouble, but not because of you. Those were her actions (stealing) and the consequences (getting in trouble).
Do you really want to call a thief and a liar your “good friend”?
She didn’t lose it, she either still has it or she pawned it. NTA.
INFO why are you still covering for her?
She’s made it clear she doesn’t care and won’t help because she thinks you will never act on it so… why are you still trying to make it work?
What is wrong with you, she is not your friend. Friends dont steal their friends shit. Report her and let her deal with the consequences of her crime. Besides are you sure shes not lying about losing it, she already lied about taking it.
NTA for filing a police report
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YTA for not immediately going to the police and filing a report for theft
Friend or not, she stole something expensive enough for it to be a felony and then “lost it”
Newsflash…she didn’t lose it. She either sold it or traded it for drugs. You don’t steal a camera in the age of camera phones to take photos at the club
She pawned that shit most likely or she still has it
Regardless, the friendship is over.
Go to the police and let her deal with the felony theft charges. And to anyone who supports her, end that friendship as well
How can anyone believe this is real? There is no way OP actually believes this person is a friend in any capacity. Friends aren’t leeches. Friends don’t steal from each other. Friends help one another. This is so poorly written it makes me sick.
Take your friendship out of the equation- your friend obviously has.
Sounds like you’re wealthy and your “friend” feels like she doesn’t have to pay you back since you have money.
This person is not a friend and never was she’s a user. She let you pay for her to go on vacation and now she stole from you and your boyfriend. File the police report. And let them do what they’re good at.
NTA. You owe your boyfriend a camera. Your “friend” owes you that same camera. Once you borrowed it – it became your responsibility. Once she stole it – it became her responsibility. She STOLE it from you. She’s a thief. She should be grateful for the opportunity to make you whole without “more trouble” and simply rejecting reasonable measures (you’re being too generous) means you either pay for the whole thing or report her (since she rejected all,other reasonable resolutions). Regardless you can’t ever trust her AND she can’t ever be your friend (her rejecting your proposals makes NO SENSE). Without knowing her other personal circumstances – the type of work she does, her income, mental health, kids/family/husband and your relative income (how big a hit to you would this camera be?) it’s hard to simply say report her. But if you did report her you would not be the A-hole.
You are an AH and an enabler. Stop helping her be a bad person. The only things you did right were 1. confront her directly and 2. file a police report.
NTA, this is not a good friend.
File the police report.
This person is not your friend. Do not wait to file the report. NTA for that. The police will wonder why you didn’t report it right away.
You are TA for covering for her, though. Friends don’t steal from eachother. You temporarily aided in stealing from your BF. Your “friend” very clearly doesn’t care. That was crystal clear when she stole from you.
You are the bad one for asking and waiting so long, she is a thief who does not deserve a chance, file a complaint now, you should not put your relationship at risk for a scoundrel
NTA, and this story was just on here as someone having a really expensive purse which ended up in her friend’s luggage.
NTA
Report her to the police especially since she doubled down and refused to give it back.
NTA. She’s a user. You can stop her right now by filing a police report and getting a lawyer.
FILE THE REPORT. She deserves every horrible thing you can legally throw at her and since it’s obvious you had the expendable income to provide for her, she should have known you’d have the income to wreck her life.
Op, hear me now. Get petty. Revel in it. Rock her fucking world. Give her jail time. Get her fired. Make her lose her home and car over that jail time. Leave her destitute and turning tricks because she deserves a life that matches her soul and you will never sleep again while she gets away with this and fucks over the next person she can.
First thing, stop calling her a friend. She is not your friend.
NTA
That person isn’t your friend. They just like the freebees they get from you and clearly do not respect you in the slightest.
File the police report already and ditch the person. They have never been a friend, don’t lie to yourself.
She is not your friend and you have absolutely no spine, please get a grip.
This person isn’t your friend. She’s someone who uses you and expects to continue doing so because you are emotionally invested in her.
YTA. “I do not want to get her in trouble… ” Do you realize how much ego is in that statement? You are not the cause of, nor are you responsible for her having to deal with the consequences of her choices. I mean this kindly. Just file the report on with the police and let nature take its course.
Your BG a gem. Show him as much loyalty as he’s shown you with his patience. Get that report filled and start working to replace the camera, because he lent it to you and that makes it your responsibility to make it good with him.
I think you are on the right track, just adjust the lens you’re looking through when you see the problem.
Edit for 3 typos and to add that it was edited.
You don’t have a friend. You have a hang out buddy who is happy to take your gifts but doesn’t respect you. Call the cops. Press charges. Find better friends. NTA
You will be a TA with your bf if you don’t get the camera back. Because it seems to be impossible, the next step is to fill a police report. Sorry, but she isn’t a friend.
A “good” friend wouldn’t steal off you !
Total asshole you are for filing a police report on a thief.. /s
I actually had something similar happen years back. Tracked the phone to his location. Called friend and told her I was calling the police to the phones location and if that’s where her partner lived then she might want to intervene before it’s too late. She instantly called me asking me to wait, she returned the phone that evening. It was missing its case but I wrote it off when she told me she had ended things with the guy.
NTA
She’s not your friend. She stole from you and lied to you and is refusing to take responsibility for what she did. I doubt she lost it.
Do the report, hold her accountable. Mourn your friendship, whatever you thought it was, and move on. People like that don’t deserve brain space
YTA for letting it go on this long. You are not a doormat, don’t act like one.
YTA if you don’t file the police report. She’s not even sorry.
“I went up to the room and realized the camera was gone.”
Didn’t know hotel rooms had security cameras in the rooms.
YTA if you don’t file the police report and help your boyfriend get his camera back. This isn’t a matter of if your friend happened to steal from you, because while yes she did technically steal it from your possession, she stole it ultimately from your SO. Don’t be an accomplice to his stuff being stolen, and he would have EVERY right to involve you in the theft. Turn the friend in, this is NOT a friend worth keeping. Who needs enemies when you have a “friend” like that. Canons are NOT cheap cameras and she was INSANELY dumb to just steal one and expect you to roll over and take it (which is exactly what you’re doing, is just rolling over and letting her get away with it. She doesn’t need 3 weeks to try and get the camera/money together. turn her in.)
NTA, you tried to let her remedy the situation. She clearly has no interest or intent to do so. Frankly, it’s your boyfriend’s property and it’s up to him to press charges.
YTA….it looks like you are still trying to cover for your friend and would totally be okay with the situation – if it weren’t for your pesky boyfriend pressing you and asking you to file charges.
Stop helping her out and file the report already. She’s not a friend to you.
YTA for giving chances to someone who have no respect and remorse over her actions. YTA to your bf for trying to help cover your friends actions by asking her to only cover half the cost.
am surprised your bf is still with you after seeing how you’re dealing with this whole ordeal. Even if you filed the police report, if you aren’t able to get the money or camera back from the friend you should cover the full replacement cost by yourself because it’s your responsibility at the end of the day.
Absolutely file the police report. She has the camera and lying about it being lost.
And there was no friendship to be saved. The whole “friendship” was based on her free loading.
NTA
She is not your friend and uses you for trips and such. She’s knows you aren’t going to “rock the boat “ about holding g her responsible for the camera. She’s knows probably still has it. Your boyfriend needs to go ahead and file a report and bring charges against her. It’s his decision, not yours as it’s not your camera to begin with. You are essentially choosing your pseudo friend over your boyfriend. You are really at risk of losing him over her.
You don’t want to “get her in trouble”? What are you, 15? This isn’t school antics on the playground; she stole a two thousand dollar piece of equipment. Turn her I to the cops without a second thought. If she didn’t want cops involved then she shouldn’t have stolen something.
What did you possibly think was gonna happen? That she’d pay you half and you’d go back to being friends just like before? NTA but you will be an asshole if you don’t file charges.
She’s a grifter, and she sold the camera to buy drugs. File as soon as possible.
NTA
Something tells me she did this to either mess up your relationship, knowing it wasn’t yours, and assuming your bf would be mad at you. She still has this camera, and is just a thief. Orrrrr, she really did just dispose of it elsewhere, just to be malicious. She never had intentions of helping you find nor replace it, hun. Do that police report.
You need to file the police report. You need to give them the video. And you need to let the system work how it works.
A good friend would not do this
So you’re dragging your feet on making your boyfriend whole for a person who uses you for money and steals from you? Can I be your friend? I need to pay off my car and student loans.
Make the report. She’s not going to pay and your boyfriend (the actual VICTIM) doesn’t deserve this crap. NTA for filing a report. YTA because you’re not exactly trying very hard to get your boyfriend’s shit back.
She is a liar and a thief. Don’t feel bad, do it. She was never going to tell you that she was the thief and even lied to you about it when you ask her. NTA.
NTA- But she is not your friend. She feels entitled to your time and money and belongings. Free trips, etc. She is using you. She expects you to just take care of this. You will be the a-hole if you do not stop trying to coddle her. She should be paying for the replacement in full. You should not be pitching in for it. She stole from you and you boyfriend. File the police report and cut ties with her. Again, she is not your friend.
Your friend probably still has the camera fwiw
NTA to that woman but you’re being a huge asshole to your partner! She’s a Leech, not a friend. Your partner deserves you to stand up for them. The least you should do is tell that woman that if she doesn’t reimburse the full amount for the camera by end of day you will be filing a police report and providing video evidence of her theft. Let her decide her own fate but don’t let her decide whether or not to remain your “friend”. That option left the table when she stole, lied, and disrespected you and your partner.
This is not how friends behave, she is a user, you are her golden goose. Your boyfriend should file the police report whether you support the decision or not, his camera. Curious to why you would want her as a friend, probably not the first thing she has stolen from you or her other “friends”.
She has found an easy Mark. You are a sucker who not only gives her free stuff, but will help her steal stuff from you by offering to cover half the cost. She almost certainly did not lose it. Why would you ever believe a liar? She sold it And will steal from you and take your free offers as long as you’re dumb enough to keep doing it.
NTA.
Report The thief who used to masquerade as a friend.
ESH. Your friend for stealing is not a true friend. You for not helping get your bf fully made whole on this right away and filling the police report right away.
that is NOT your friend wth
Nah, this is when you go scorched earth on someone. You gave her every opportunity to make it right but she refused. She isn’t a friend, she is a leech.
Also, your other mutual friends need to know about this from you. She will twist it to make you look bad.
Scorched Earth!
She deliberately hurt you and lied about it, she showed her true colors and you wanted to protect her. YTA for putting your friend above your boyfriend.
This isn’t your friend, this is your entitled parasite.
What’s with all the dumb questions on this sub. You know damn well you’re not.
This is you’re good friend who stole your boyfriend’s camera, lied, lied again about losing camera (most likely), and is refusing to help fix it? NTA. You will be though if you file the police report and drop her. She’d have no problem dropping you. Also, she doesn’t care
ESH. You’re not acting fast enough.
Get the police report and sue her in small claims Court
NTA Did you tell her you would be filing a police report? If not, be upfront and tell her that you are going to the police if she doesn’t give you the full amount by X date. Plan on the friendship being over. Remember this is just the first time you caught her stealing. There’s no way this was the first time. She has likely stolen from you or others before. I would also give your friends a heads up and even show them the footage. People should know that their valuables aren’t safe around her.
NTA. Who knows how many other things she has stolen from her fiends that they thought they’d just lost? Who knows how many things she will continue to steal if she doesn’t learn that robbery is a crime?
NTA
And I’m sorry you’re experiencing this with who you thought was a close friend. HOwever:
1 – they are not your friend if they steal from you
2 – they are not your friend if they steal from you and lie about it
3 – they are not your firend if they steal from you, lie about it, and refuse to apologize or ‘give it back’ (item or replacement value)
Tell this person you will be filing charges if they do not provide you with the camera or replacement value (you can show comparitives online, maybe agree she pays a percentage). Then you apologize to your bf, provide him with a new camera (talk to him first, he may want to replace with something else).
Then from now on – unfortunately – take much better care of your/borrowed property, even around ‘friends’.
I also think this might no come as a huge shock to you…so maybe think better of the people you keep company with. Moochers who never give back are not good friends.
That’s not your friend, she’s a leech, a parasite, a liar and a thief. No one half decent wants to go on free holidays at their friends expense and not do anything to tip the scales back towards not feeling like they owe anything, and no one who calls themselves a friend would steal from another unless they were a piece of poop.
I had a friend steal a few quid off of me back when we were teenagers which I turned a blind eye to because they grew up poor as shit and I wouldn’t miss it, but soon kicked them to the curb when they tried to steal my gameboy and pass it off as their own.
Definitely file a police report and hold their behavior accountable, either they’ll grow as a person and thank you (because filing a police report etc isn’t exactly as bad as stealing from a friend either, right?) so either she’s then admitting that there’s things that friends shouldn’t do, or this is something you can both move past.
File the report.
NTA. How much you want to bet it is not really lost and she still has it? File the police report.
NTA! Wow. You have a strange definition of a friend. A friend? Cut ties with her and file a police report. Friends do not steal from friends.
The fact that you didn’t already file a police report shows that you care more about your friend than your relationship. This isn’t even a hard choice that you have to make. Do you value a friendship with a thief? or do you value the relationship you currently have?
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NTA – that is not a friend. Losing an item she stole and refusing to help remedy it is next level 💩
You should keep your distance from her, not only that report it to police and insurance maybe you’ll be able to recover something through them
UpdateMe
OK, you said this is a friend that you footed the bill for to go and do things together and now she’s refusing to help she stole from you and your boyfriend lied about it and you don’t want to get her in trouble? Do you enjoy being a doormat? She’s not your friend, but she sure found a good person to use. Friends don’t steal from you friends don’t lie and friends. Definitely help when they are responsible for doing something. Help your boyfriend file police report and sue her for the cost. She’s not your friend.
Why are you asking for half the cost of the camera? You need to sue her for the full cost. SHE stole it from you and SHE lost it. It’s HER fault that it’s gone. SUE HER!
She definitely sold it, or still has it. She wouldn’t swipe it just to “lose” it
Girl report her!! She stole from you and isn’t even remorseful. You’re being way too kind to her when she can’t even help pay for half when SHES the one who stole it and lost it. She wasn’t a good friend when she stole from you and won’t even help you, so don’t worry about not being a good friend for reporting her cause it’s deserved. Those cameras aren’t cheap to just “lose”.
You can sue her in small claims court (or something similar if you’re not in the US).
You have all the evidence, and you’ll at least be awarded the value or limit of the claim.
You’re NTA, at all. Not the least little bit.
Don’t tell her you’re suing her, just do it. THEN tell her and give her the chance to settled before the court date.
YTA for waiting this long and bending over backwards.
grow a spine and report her. imagine how you must look to your BF right now.
i’d consider dumping you over this kind of behaviour.
NTA, not your friend, file the report; that’s a $1500 camera and she literally stole it.
She is a thief so YES REPORT HER!
NTA but why the hell are you covering for her? Offering to pay HALF?! Give yourself a massive slap as WHY ARE YOU ENABLING A THIEF?!
She is not your friend and I am surprised your boyfriend is giving you any grace here with your shenanigans at giving her three weeks. File the report, sue her in small claims and get your boyfriend his money to get his camera back!
Doesn’t make sense. Why would someone steal a bulky (compared to a phone) camera and not just use their phone? Especially if going clubbing.
You probably need to sue her in small claims court, which is relatively simple, and should recover its cost. NTA
Your friend isn’t actually your friend. She is thoroughly busted stealing from you and basically giving you double middle fingers when confronted with it.
Go to the cops, and you may want to get in front of the inevitable narcissistic backlash with her smearing you to all and sundry for how mean and a bad friend you are.
Let her know you’ll be taking her to small claims court where she will also be sued for attorney fees along with full price of the camera. Give her 24hours to comply then call a lawyer. This is not someone you should call a friend. NTA
NTA.
File a police report and sue her in small claims court. When you win, she’ll have to repay the value of the depreciated camera and filing fees.
I’m not sure why you refer to it as ‘helping’, bc she needs to fully reimburse. Not ‘help’.
Call the po po.
NTA
NTA. That behavior is brazen. She’s not the friend you think she is. I would be curious to know if the police eventually find that she sold the camera instead of losing it. She’s a thieving mooch.
Didn’t she already ruin the friendship by stealing from you? What are you saving at this point. Report her.
She’s not a good friend. She’s a user and a thief and she used you for access to shit she could steal. And she didn’t lose it, she sold it and is counting on the fact that you have no backbone so she won’t get arrested. Why would you go halfs? Tell her you have her dead to rights on video stealing it, and she has 5 days to replace it, return it or give you the money for you to do so before you contact the police. Then contact the police. Nta stop being a pushover, she’s not your friend.
Have you told her your bf is going to the police if she refuses to replace the full cost.
Has she ever done something like this before? Is she in trouble? Is she using you to get access to your lifestyle? Ask yourself these questions honestly.
Stop giving her a pass. While it’s tragic that she has been willing to fragrantly deceive you, given your long history, she decided to use your trust, lie and refuses to care.
You care more about the consequences to both yourself, your bf and even your friend. Than she does.
You need to be realistic as you could lose your relationship if you refuse to firmly stand on bf’s right to now choose how he wants to proceed. You gave her multiple chances and she doesn’t care and/ or want to face her actions.
NTA
WHY are you trying to cover for her when she STOLE your bf’s 1500$ camera?! You have EVIDENCE! She’s not a friend cause she never cared in the first place! She needs to be reported and replaces the FULL value of the camera. STOP BEING A DOORMAT AND FILE A REPORT.
NTA she’s not your friend. She doesn’t care what it’s doing to you at all.
Dragging this on for 3 weeks is extremely disrespectful and despicable to your boyfriend – shows that you value a thief who doesn’t view you as a friend over your boyfriend. You value not getting her in trouble as more important than him – get your priorities straight. I’d dump you for taking more than 3 days, 3 weeks? 3 weeks?
She stole something worth several thousand dollars and plans on selling it. Not only is she not your friend at all but she is a manipulative thief. In what world would you be an asshole for calling the police on someone who stole something so expensive, lie about it, and make it absolutely clear she does not intend to remedy this situation at all. NTA but you need to grow up.
Omfg file a police report! She’s not your friend if she’s willing to steal from you! She’s not even sorry she ‘lost’ it. Your boyfriend is not going to trust you again because you’re too busy trying to accommodate your friend, the THIEF.
NTA if you file the police report, NTA if you hold her accountable.
YWBTA if you do nothing and continue to drag your heels just to keep the thief comfortable.
You also need to find a way to apologise to your boyfriend.
NTA. She’s given you no other options, considering she refuses to take accountability for her actions. She has clearly taken advantage of your kindness and now she needs to pay. If the state won’t file charges, then I’d take her to small claims court to be compensated.
File already ! NTA
File the police report, you can drop the charges if she agrees to reimburse IN FULL
YTA for letting this go as long as it had! 3 weeks?!!? That’s far too long for her to either return it or pay it back. She has no intention of doing anything about it and you’re lucky your boyfriend is still your boyfriend! If I were him, I’d dump you and sue you for the cost of the camera since you were the one who initially borrowed it! Then once the verdict is read, you can sue her for the cost of the camera plus whatever else you had to pay, but only if you file the police report should you stand a fighting chance to be whole.
Stop wasting time by begging her to act right and go file a police report. Include that she confessed to taking the camera. Depending on the cost of the an era you can also take her to small claims court.
YTA. You’re giving this person who’s clearly not your friend way too much slack on this. You need to file a police report and take her to small claims court. She doesn’t give a shit about you or your boyfriend, she stole from you, lied about it, then when she was caught basically said fuck off I’m not paying you shit. And even after all that you still asked her to pay less than half? Fuck that, she owes you for a whole camera, throw tow book at her.
It seems that 2 thousand dollars is not much for you, if they stole that amount from me I would be crazy. But beyond the cost, the fact that he ignores and doesn’t take responsibility despite knowing that it would damage his relationship with you simply means that he doesn’t care that much. Report as soon as possible.
YTA
You were kind enough to give her a chance to replace the camera, she refused. Now your only priority is to make things right with the victim of the crime.
File a police report, this person isn’t your friend.
Grow a spine.
this person is not your friend. she is using you for free stuff.
She stole, not asked, and likely kept it, and is just in “deny everything mode”.
File a police report, cut of all contact IMO. she will continue to take from you.
Make that police report IMMEDIATELY.
She is a THIEF. I would be telling all your friends and her family members what she did. Shame her into replacing it or returning it.
NTA.
SHE.IS.NOT.YOUR.FRIEND. Go file a police report immediately and let her deal with the consequences
She is not a friend. She stole, lied about it, is unrepentant when shown the proof, refuses to pay for it or even go half for it. Absolutely disgusting behavior. NTA
She is a huge AH. File the police report and take her to small claims.
Nta. I would send a text now saying you have until tomorrow to purchase and new camera or set a plan to pay him back or we are contacting the police. And filing charges and a civil suit.
YTA for not pressing the charges and losing the camera.
My ex-friend did similar thing (stole my iPhone which even showed on find my phone location at his place) and refused to return it until he got prosecuted and sentenced for jail (after I filed the report and it went full loop to court) and was forced to repay me full price.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that you have significantly more money than the thief. You’ve paid for her to come with you on vacations because you enjoyed her company, but I wonder if part of her always resented you for being able to do that. If so, she’s been telling herself for years that you’re rich and spoiled, so it was easy to justify both stealing the camera and refusing to pay for it.
This is wild speculation on my part, of course, but I think she’s resented you on the DL for awhile now. NTA, and she sucks.
NTA for reporting YTA for waiting
You would not be an AH for filling a report however you would be an AH if you chose to not help your bf in doing so because you think she’s your friend and will help cut the cost. Honestly, you shouldn’t have even given her a chance to make it right, considering she lied to you until you told her that you had proof. She’s not your friend, it’s all one sided, she uses you and that’s not a friendship.
Camera was your responsibility. You pay your boyfriend back then collect from your friend. Not the other way around.
You can just walk up to any restaurant and they will bring you into their secret back room where you can spend an hour reviewing security camera footage that is pointed right at your table.
NTA
I don’t think many people know the definition of ‘friend.’
The second she stole the camera she stopped being your friend. Friends don’t steal +$1000 worth of stuff from you. Filing a police report is good, but YTA because you covered for her.
NTA. File the police report and watch how quick the camera shows up.
The fact that you are even considering giving her the out of only helping to pay to replace it is staggering.
She’s a thief. She stole it. She knew she stole it, and she knew she fucked up.
Report her ass, and then drop her from your life.
I’m surprised you still have a bf to be honest
NTA Sounds like, since you can afford to take her on pricey vacations, she assumed you wouldn’t mind if she took the camera. Lousy friend, I know this hurts but do you really want a friend who believes it is OK to steal from you cuz you’re rich? Let her know she must return or reimburse you for the camera immediately (not her problem if she doesn’t have the funds) or you will take action. Maybe she will discover “another friend” that night picked up the camera and forgot to tell her. You may report her to the police, and/or sue her in Small Claims Court for the depreciated cost of the camera.
NTA you tried to confront without involving the law, and she didn’t acquiesce. You then, rightfully, took the next step, after giving her ample chance to do the right thing first.
The police may consider this a civil matter. You both can sue her in small claims court. Often once the claim is filed they will cough up the money without the court
She is not your friend, a real friend wouldn’t do any of this. File the police report now. That’s what she deserves.
File the report. This woman is not your friend and she should no longer be given the benefit of the doubt.
YWNBTA
NTA. Not a friend. She definitely still has the camera and is lying about losing it. File the police report asap before she has a chance to pawn the camera.
This is not a good friend. She is someone who uses you and thinks you’re just going to roll over again and give her even more. File the report.
You need to file a report right away. Give the footage to the police, your “friends” details, etc. It’s probably expensive enough to be considered a felony. She should be smart enough to realize that and probably doesn’t care like she doesn’t care about your friendship or things. Hopefully there was insurance in the camera.
NTA, your friend is the asshole (and a thief) here
She is a thief and a liar. She does not care that you will suffer because of her actions. She’s definitely not your friend.
File the police report for theft. It may reach felony level depending on your state.
With all due respect, you’re being a pushover and need to be strong enough to not only defend yourself but your partner. YTA if you don’t file a report and publicly blast her (in your friend group) like yesterday.
File the report- she isn’t your friend.
You absolutely get the police involved here. She committed a crime while standing right next to you and then lied to you about it.
She obviously cares zero about your friendship. Imagine what else she’s stolen from you or fine to you that you don’t know about? She pulled this off so easily and didn’t think twice about it, that leads me to believe this isn’t the first time she’s done this.
If she cares zero about your friendship, then you don’t have a friendship problem. You have a leech problem.
NTA
NTA, she stole completely, had total disregard for your relationship as well as friendship, and she’ll definitely do it again, if you don’t file!
This post is either fake rage-bait or you’re incredibly stupid. Pick one.
YTA. And not for the reason you think.
Your “friend” was very willing to not only STEAL from you, but lose your shit and LIE to you. She does not care about you. Read that again. She DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.
You’re doing a disservice to your boyfriend by dragging your feet on filing the report. He should go ahead and do it without you.
NTA. This is probably not the first time she’s stolen something, you are probably not the only one she’s stolen from, and she probably didn’t “lose” it. You gave her a chance to return it, replace it, or pay for it and she refused. I would go to the police.
NTA, she is a thief.