Usually, I wouldn’t take personal advice from strangers online, but everyone in my life seems to think I’m a petty, scorned, bitter woman (which I probably am), and I need objective advice.
My ex-husband (currently 43M) and I (43F) were college sweethearts. For me, life felt perfect. I trusted him completely.
That’s why it was so shocking when I found out he was in love with his much younger colleague. She was around 24 at the time. I won’t get into the details of how I found out, but the affair was well-known at his workplace. When I confronted him, all he said was, “I’m sorry. I tried really hard not to fall for her.” He didn’t seem sorry at all. It felt like he wanted me to leave him. So I did. That was six years ago.
Our son was four then, and it was the worst time of my life. I honestly don’t know how I got through it. And because I was desperate, I wanted him to fight for me, to fight for our family. But he didn’t. He was quick to sign the divorce papers and didn’t even fight for custody. It was as if he had started a new life and completely erased the old one.
It took years of therapy to feel normal again, to stop checking that woman’s social media and comparing myself to her. The fact that she’s very pretty and charming didn’t help. His family loved her. And as disgusting as it sounds, one of our common friends even said it out loud, ‘I don’t support cheating but I mean, look at her’, when I told her about the cheating. I guess that’s what everyone was thinking, this one was just stupid enough to voice it out. So I had to cut off that group of friends too.
They got married three years ago and now have a daughter. A picture-perfect little family.
The current arrangement is that our son stays with my ex on weekends and holidays, which works fine for the most part.
Last week, I found out my sister (28f) has been in touch with my ex all these years. That would’ve been forgivable, since they were close when we were married and she saw him as a brother. But she’s actually best friends with his new wife. And she kept it from me for six years. I only found out because she left her phone at my house, and I saw several texts from the wife. When I asked her about it, she just brushed it off and said it wasn’t a big deal.
I told her she can do what she wants, but I will be cutting her off completely (I was helping her pay her college loans lol). and going no contact. She called me unreasonable and said I’m being petty and unable to move on from something that happened a long time ago. She also said the wife is a lovely person and a good friend. She said she will be fucked, financially speaking. I told her to go fuck herself.
Somehow, my parents agree with her.
So, AITA?
Comments
So your sister only cared to have you pay her loans. That’s why she kept it a secret, and that’s why you shouldn’t feel bad cutting her off. She needs to ask your lovely ex and his wife to foot the bill from here on out.
NTA
NTA, anyone who sides with a cheater is probably a cheater themself. Maybe your sister can ask your ex and his wife to help instead seeing as how they are best friends
NTA, OP. Honestly, I’m kinda shocked your sister hid her friendship with them from you, I mean, she’s your sister. I once helped my brother hide a surprise party for his wife, but this… yeah, this is different.
Oh I’m utterly outraged for you!! The absolute nerve of your sister. No more money for her, if she’s so bothered she should ask her new bestie. Don’t feel bad at all, NTA
NTA. You were never obligated to help your sister with her student loans. I can’t imagine expecting my sibling to help me with mine. If you feel she has betrayed you, you’re certainly not obligated to continue doing her this massive favor. It’s also insane for your parents to act like you owe this to your sister, when they are the ones who should have been covering your sister’s schooling from the start – not you.
I will warn you though, if you go through with this, your sister will likely replace you with your Ex’s wife entirely. And if your folks are siding with her, they may do the same. So – this could mean your whole family on her side rather than yours in a far greater way than has already been the case.
If you’re OK with that in order to get this woman out of your life, then go ahead. If not, I would try talking to your sister again, and explain that you cannot accept her forgiving this woman for starting a relationship with the father of your child while you were still married, and that you need her to be on your side about this. Don’t attach threats – just be clear that this is what you need from her. Maybe involving your therapist could help.
Nta it’s a betrayal and your sister doesn’t deserve your help.
NTA.
Nta and I’d ask for the money back you’ve lent her, you did under the assumption she was a good sister, she isn’t
ETA and just think how much better off you’ll be financially with that leech out of your life.
NTA. Your sister can ask your ex for money since they’re so close.
Please OP do not cave, Your sister is a modern day Judas. A homewrecker is more important than her own sister and her nephew. What a despicable sister you had. The ‘lovely person and good friend’ can help her pay her debts. Let’s see how that works. Oh and fuck your parents, she probably got this shittiness from them.
NTA. Sooner or later one of those perfect people will cheat again and you can eat some popcorn while all their friends take sides.
NTA. Your sister has the right to be friends with whom she chooses to and you have the right to do with your money as you wish. Take the money you have been contributing to her and put it in your son’s college fund. Let your ex, his wife, and your parents pay for her school loans.
This pettiness is completely justified. I wonder if she was double dipping? Getting money from the ex too.
Well, then, your ex’s new wife and your ex can just pay for your sister student loans. And your ex and his wife can comfort your poor mother, who is so upset about your behavior. F them all. Oh, and NTA.
Why the hell do your parents agree with your sister?
I hope you get some therapy to deal with all the users in your life.
NTA.
I have hope.. That she becomes the new younger side piece, breaks up marriage 2, and then becomes his 3rd baby mama before she too gets cheated on.
NTA. Sister should as her ‘best friend’ to help pay off the loans. Your sister kept the relationship from you because she knew she was risking your financial help.
NTA. She befriended the homewrecker of her sister….definitely no bro code in your family.
Wow. I know from personal experience that divorce involving another person is horrible to manage at best, because your own self worth becomes damaged and you doubt everything about the whole relationship. If he is capable of being with 2 women at the same time and acts like it was something that just happened to him rather than something he chose, what else didn’t you know. The spiral down is deep and painful and takes a lot of time to sort out. I feel for you OP. But if it wasn’t bad enough, your own sister is doing the exact same thing. Using you for what she can get out of you while simultaneously bring besties with the woman who decided she didn’t care that she was destroying your marriage and hurting your child as long as she got what she wanted. Your sister fucked herself. She made a choice and these are the consequences. I’m astonished that she has the nerve to act like the victim when she stomped on your feelings, chose the other woman over you yet expected your continued financial support. Hell no. Let the adulterers pay her bills. She chose them over your feelings and they can have her selfish behind. And don’t get me started on “it happened a long time ago”. That kind of betrayal has no expiration date. NTA.
NTA
It was out of sisterly kindness you chose to help your sister with student loans. It should be understandable that some sisterly kindness, or at least some decent respect should be reciprocated. But remaining friends with the woman that took part in destroying your family, knowing how much it hurt you, and purposefully hiding such relationship: that is betrayal. You owe her nothing after such betrayal.
Your sister sided with the cheater and expects you to pay for her college!!!!! Not only is she ungrateful she thinks she’s entitled to your money. NTA let them pay.
The wife isn’t a good friend and your sister is supporting sin. Shalom you’re loved 💔
NTA for deciding not to help pay her college loans. I find it weird that this is even a thing that’s expected of siblings anyway. Your parents chose to have their kids, it should be on them to help their kids financially. And even if they can’t, it shouldn’t be on one kid to help the others.
If your sister can’t see why staying close friends with the man who cheated on you and hurt you so badly is a shitty thing to do, why on earth would she expect you to continue to help her financially???
Bet your sister also went to their wedding, bet she helped that new wife get a job at husbands work also. Is she your sister’s college friend.
FAFO. NTA
NTA. Do not pay and let her know she can ask your ex and her new bestie to pay.
All these people, your parents and sister included, don’t give a shit about you and only value you for what you can do for them.
She only kept the relationship secret to continue milking you for cash. She “cheated” on you no differently than your ex did. (Well differently but a betrayal of loyalty and trust.)
I’d cut her CLEAN and tell your family to put THEIR money where their mouths are and support her! My guess your “family” has known all along and helped hide the relationship. Or your ex and his new wife can cowboy up her tuition since they are all so close!
NTA. let your ex and new best friend help with her loan payment
NTA. Let “Like a Brother” and “New Best Friend” fund her college. I’m sure they’d love to, right?
I suspect you’re going to get the last laugh once New Wife ages out of that marriage. Best of luck to you.
She hid it because she knew you’d have a problem with it. She didn’t care how much it hurt you, so she shouldn’t be cashing in on the benefits of having you as her sister. FAFO. Her besties can help.
Im so sorry your family sucks. Nobody gets to dictate how you heal, how long it takes or the continued trauma that happens when people justify and excuse the shitty behavior. I bet she’d be singing a different tune if it was her.
NTA, her “good friend” and “brother” can help her pay for the loans. She knew it would hurt you, that’s why she never said anything. Also, I’d check to see if your parents are still in contact with him.
NTA. What are your parents going to do? Ground you for not paying the loans that aren’t yours? They all want to think this is okay, they can go off into the sunset with the guy who hurt you and his wifey.
NTA Tell her new best friend and her parents(I wouldn’t consider them my parents any longer)can pay for her loans. I’d block all of them, nothing like having filthy traitors surrounding you, bunch of backstabbing a$$holes.
NTA she can ask the cheating couple.to cover her loans
NTA. So she’s lied to you, I guess at a stretch you could say it was by omission perhaps, and still thinks you should help her out? Errrrrr no, where is her loyalty to you, her sister. And she knows it was disloyal, otherwise she’d have told you. Seen as her loyalty is to your ex and his new wife, THEY can help her with her student loans 😏
She knew she was bogus. she’s just trying to gaslight you.id cut off more than the money, that’s for sure. I cut off every single person in my life other than my dad 5 years ago because everyone knew my ex cheated on me, and their excuse was they didn’t wanna hurt me. Cut out anyone you feel is necessary to move forward. Anyone tgat doesn’t like it get rid of them, too.
NTA. Your sister and parents are hideous for thinking this is ok. Your ex and that woman literally tore your family up and is the reason your son doesn’t live with nothing parents. How the fuck is that forgiveable?
If she and your parents thought this was okay, why didn’t they tell you?
NTAH. Your ex sucks and so does his new wife. So does your sister and your parents. Cut them all off and spend time with your friends who value and love you because all of these other people are picking a horrible interloper who is a cheater, and a homewrecker. Just because your sister shares DNA does not make her a sister, it just means she has blood related to you. Her actions show who she is, believe her. If grandma and grandpa want to live on that delusional boat too, well they can join your sister in being uninvited to you life. Also in regards to your sister, why would you pay anything for someone who is stabbing you in the back and smiling in your face over it?
NTA- let your ex and his wifey pay her way. She would be dead to me, dead and buried. What a back-stabbing asshole.
NTA. That said, you sound like you’re living on hate fuel from something that happened long ago.
NTA it feels like the closest you can get to justice for this betrayal I just wish you could take the 6 years of financial aid back
Helping pay her student loans! WOW! Stop that immediately and consider claiming the payments you have made as a loan and sue for the full amount!
Updateme
NTA.
Her taking money from you while hiding her friendship with them is shady.
She should have been honest with you.
NTA
“Since clearly you love Ex and his wife more than you love me, you don’t need my help or money. You chose your side. Go ask them to pay your loans.”
Maybe your ex and his wife should help her instead
Nta
Wow, this must be crushing. She obviously knew it was wrong and you would not be OK with it or she would have been open about how close they are. She was clearly using you as her bank while using them for her image. Fuck them all.
NTA.
NTA cut her off and block her. Ask her for any money back that you gave her. She tricked that money out of you
NTA. Spend that money on yourself and your kid.
Tell her the ex’s wife can pay her shit since she is such a good person. NTA
I mean you can do whatever you want with your own money so NTA
I think you need more therapy as you clearly aren’t over the situation
NTA
Financial help comes with expectations that are often unsaid. It’s shaddy of your sister to maintain a relationship with someone who deeply wronged you and still expect your financial assistance like it’s perfectly normal.
>She also said the wife is a lovely person
Home wreckers are not lovely people.
NTA. She kept it from you for 6 years so you would keep giving her money. She’s not a great person. It’s one thing to think an ex brother in law is still like a brother but becoming bffs with the new wife that he cheated with is gross.
NTA. They are cheaters they should be ashamed of themselves and people who are supporting them and expecting you to help them should be to.
I think it would be best if you quietly and slowly cut off or go LC with everyone who is siding with ex don’t confront them it will only cause drama and you will be labelled as jealous bitter ex.Protect your peace, love yourself, invest your time energy and money in hobbies and healthy habits.Try not to give info about your financial condition to others.Be private and surround yourself with people who support you.
NTA
If she was a lovely person, she wouldn’t have had an affair with a married man.
NTA, I’d be going low contact with your parents too if they also knew and because they’re siding with her and clearly downplaying the situation.
NTA. Your sister is a bth and you should go full no contact with her & anyone who is in contact with your ex. Keep your contact limited to your son, keep up with your therapy sessions and know that you didn’t deserve one minute of this betrayal from anyone in your life.
You deserve happiness, peace and support. Your sister can kick rocks.
She should have your ex and her wonderful best friend pay for her tuition. Since they r so great. Keep her out of your life. She is also probably gossiping to them on your life and personal business.
NTA
And you shouldn’t pay her loans regardless of whether or not you ever forgive her. People don’t understand that actions have consequences. Your parents are so disappointing to me regarding this. They willingly kept this massive secret from you.
NTA
NTA – she betrayed family for “her” family. She can ask them for help.
NTA. Tell her to Ask her fucken friend for help. Wth is wrong with some families… loyalty doesn’t matter????
Your sister lied to you for years because she knew she was betraying you. I can’t believe anyone would think you should shrug it off. I think you should sue her for the money you’ve already given her. have your parents pay it.
She’s 28 she can help herself. She was just using you as an ATM. You don’t have any obligation towards her if she can’t respect you.
I don’t want to comment on your family but I feel pitty for you especially when your sister and parents sided your EX.
Your ex and his wife can pay her loans.
NTA. Stay NC. Sister betrayed you and lied. Get rid of toxic people in your life.
Were you the “oops” baby and your sister the one your parents had once they had their sh*t together 15years later? Cause that may have screwed up how they prioritize their daughters: one they spoil because she is associated with doing it “right” and one that reminds them of whatever baggage they had as too-young parents. That’s not your fault and I would consider if there are other areas they are not treating you fairly. For instance, why are you paying for your sisters education instead of them!? It seems like they are still pretty immature as parents and need to get over themselves to be better ones for you.
The secrecy of the friendship is rotten. If it wasn’t a big deal why not tell you? So if your sister and new wife are best friends, your parents knew? I’d cut the loan payments too. But def work on your own grief and anger so this doesn’t eat you up and keep you even more tied to your ex and his life. You are stuck coparenting with him and her.
Your ex’s wife can pay her loans if that’s how your sister feels. NTA.
I’m so sorry. Stop the help immediately – She used you. Your parents and her bestie can pay her loan
If your sister didn’t feel her continued contact with your ex wasn’t a problem then she should have been transparent. She knew it was an issue hence keeping it hidden. She made an adult decision so now it’s time to deal with the adult consequences.
NTA. Her new bestie can help her out.
NTA – your sister has every right to whatever friends or family she wants. Parents are correct in that. That doesn’t mean she didn’t betray you and that you are RESPONSIBLE for her bills.
NTA. She screwed herself over. Like others, I don’t understand why you’re paying for her loans. She’s an adult, and she was an adult when she assumed the loan. It’s her debt, not yours. It says a lot about her character that she’s willing to side with a couple of cheaters.
Updateme
FAFO for your sister.
Have her new bestie pay the loans. Have your parents pay the loans.
She’ll come back and beg. Don’t give in.
Out of respect she should have stayed away.
And as one person said, she didn’t tell you because she knew you would cut her off.
I’m sorry.
I, as a complete stranger, can understand why your sister‘s betrayal of you hurts very much. That your family doesn’t is on them. Sometimes it’s healthier to go low contact with people who don’t mind hurting you
If the new wife is such a lovely person and good friend, she can help her pay her loans lmao. NTA
Tell your parents to make sure she’s okay since they are on her side. She is their daughter anyway.
NTA when I read the title I had misgivings. It sounded like you were actively trying to ruin her financially, but all you are doing is withholding financial support. She took those loans on her own. She can pay them on her own.
NTA.
Unless you are very well off, why is your sister asking you, a single mom, to financially support her?
I mean, yeah, sucks that she’s friends with the ex’s AP. But even if that didn’t happen, why is she depending on you when you should be focusing on supporting your kid?
NTA
You aren’t screwing her over. These are her loans. You are just returning the level of loyalty she showed you.
Go NC with her – and anyone else who wants to take issue with your response to that betrayal. Your sister developed that friendship with her after all the pain those two caused you. You shouldn’t make financial sacrifices for someone like that. Use that money to treat yourself to a nice vacation instead.
Maybe her “wonderful friend” can help pay the loans.
NTA – You have the right to control your own money. That being said, you’ve already cut off friends over this, you’re planning on cutting off your sister, and your parents siding with her. You’re looking at years of seeing family get togethers on Facebook where your entire family, including your son, is hanging out with your ex and his wife. I get your anger towards the sister, but you’re seemingly on a path to being boxed out of the family.
Good luck
Nta
Total betrayal. Sorry Op. Tell her to get the slithering new bestie to foot her bill. I mean, really, it takes a real low life to be friends with the home wrecker and take money from the wrecked home.
Leave the muckers in your dust and their own mire. There is still time to live your best life. Before you place any value in someone’s opinion. Consider the source carefully and judge the opinion accordingly.
I’m sorry, you rightly feel screwed over by many you loved and trusted. I think you did the right thing & hopefully now, you’ve flushed out those who aren’t supporting you fully. I understand your distress over the marriage breakdown it’s very difficult to overcome the rejection and pain but we do get there anew, you offered kindness and support to your sister and she couldn’t see the wrong in accepting money from a single mother while being attached to the man and woman who put her in that position. I hope you find peace in your choice and strength & true love in the years to come
Updateme
NTA your sister sucks. The cheater and the affair partner can help her out if they’re so great.
If your ex’s new wife is so lovely she can pay your sisters student loans.
Nta. Cutting her off, IS moving on.
Parents are on her side, because they don’t want to pay for her college.
They’ll live.
Nta. Becoming best friend with the other women means she is a pos person and sister. And she glances go to her best friend for handouts
She wasnt a good person as she got with a married man. And your parents ca. Pay for the student loans then. They would all be LC/NC. I get being on friendly terms with ex as he is the father of thier nephew/grandson.
As someone that was also cheated on, hell no! And sister can pay her own loans. That was never your responsibility and your parents can do that instead.
If that woman knew he was married then she is as much at fault as he is and I would never befriend her if you were my friend just on principle. Hell when my ex cheated his extended family kept me until his mother made it unbearable and I let them go because HE WAS IN THE WRONG. You did nothing wrong, he did.
NTA you don’t owe her your hard worked money. She sounds entitled I would even consider to not meet her that often. She can go to her best friend and ask her for support if she so lovely she will do it
Good for you stay strong
NTA!
Your sister made her choice!! You owe her no loyalty since she showed you so little. Nothing but disrespect from your sister!
Seriously: a lovely person about a person that pursues a married man with a child. She is not a lovely person.
Your sister first hand saw the hurt and pain in you and say fuck you, I’m going to be besties with the people who hurt my sister😋, but she is selfish and cunning so she didn’t tell you so she could continue to take advantage of your generosity,
Honestly the best you could do is stop paying,save the money for retirement and go no contact with her
If anyone can’t see the issue maybe they also hate you. Because let me tell you if my brothers wife cheated and abandoned the family I’ll never outer a single word for her ,she would get nothing but disguste from me. And the people who cheated with,I’ll dig every corner of the world to see what other dirty things they have done and posted everywhere for the world to see the garbage walking on the earth.
Updateme
NTA sorry but she’s your sister, it’s unconscionable in my opinion, she has shown zero loyalty to you so why in any universe would you show any familial concern for her or her finances.
To be aquainted with this woman would perhaps be tolerable but to actual form a friendship and become ‘best friends’ is just gross, and I’m guessing your parents probably also knew and lied to you about it.
She only cares because financially you’re cutting her off if you were simple going NC I doubt she’d actually care!
Now your ex and his new wife can support her!
I the AP is such a LOVELY person and a GOOD friend whay dosen´t your sister ask her for financial suport
So, the lovely new wife is absolved of CHEATING, and destroying OPs life, because “Well look at her”, “she’s very charming”?! Yea, Sis owned that faux pax, let the EX pay her Student loans, You need your money for empowering yourself OP. Your parents can make the pavement rattle also!
NTA.
I’m going to start with the easy part first…
>Somehow, my parents agree with her.
Then they are more than welcome to start helping her with her loans too.
And now for the really hard part. Unfortunately, I strongly suspect this means they’ve continued to be in touch with your ex and his affair partner all this time too. This will truly be devastating, but I fear you’re going to lose your family over this too.
If your sister comes back begging for the money again, tell her that you can’t afford it anymore. You need the money to pay for more therapy to help you deal with a second massive betrayal in your life by someone you thought loved, cared for, and supported you. And then block her.
NTA. Since she decided to keep it a secret to keep getting your money, and your parents see nothing wrong with that, your patents & ex & his wife can help her out now.
NTA. Everyone in your life sucks I’m sorry to say
I would go no contact. NTA
Your sister is a horrible person who is ok with lying and cheating, even if it destroys her own sister and impacts her nephew. She doesn’t even have the basic human decency to be honest with her sister when she makes a crappy decision to continue a friendship with dispensable people. She doesn’t deserve any kind of support from you, and your parents are assholes for thinking that she does just because she’s been friends with your cheating ex for a long time. 🙄
NTA… cut her off asap and tell her to pay u back for what u spent and to take it from her brother and his wife
Just as you said she can do what she wants, you too can do what you want. That doesn’t have to mean that you continue to pay her college loans.
I think you’re entitled to spend your money wherever you want to – and it doesn’t have to be to the college that your sister attended in the form of loan repayments.
She’s going to have to get a better paying job now isn’t she!
NTAH
nta her financial problems arent youre no matter the situation. the parents can help her
Wow… what a betrayal. Not only did she betray you, but also her nephew.
Your ex and his wife/her bestie can help them.
Your parents can help them. It’s their job anyway.
Edit: If it isn’t so bad, she would have told you.
Your parents just don’t want to pay for her and no drama. That why they lied to you and want you to pay.
Nta. Jesus, everyone in your life is okay not only with the cheating but with being best friends with your replacement. You need a whole new support system and a spine of steel. Best of luck to you.
NTA
I don’t really understand why you’d compare yourself or be jealous of a woman prepared to be an affair partner and break up a marriage with kids. The woman has issues, however “charming” she is, and she’ll have to cope with her now-husband sleeping with the next generation in a couple of years’ time.
So your sister is just providing her all the information about how you rise your son too am I right…..
No one becomes friends with your ex family maybe the wife becomes her friend to get info about you and your son…
NTA and you can do whatever you want with your money. That being said, you have to do whatever it takes to disempower this woman from deciding your life while she isn’t even trying. You are only hurting yourself. I don’t know why you are jealous of a woman who is married to a known cheater, but stop it. She lost, you won a chance to find something real. Do that instead.
Updateme
NTA this is unforgivable imo. It sounds like your sister was using you for payments to her student loans. I would cut her off and possibly cut ties with anyone who is telling you to get over this.
You’re not ‘screwing her over financially’, you’re just refusing to bankroll her life, after you found out she doesn’t give a shit about you.
NTA
Nta. The fact that she is friends with her is whatever but she kept it from you for 6 years that is deceit and lack of respect.
Updateme
Shes not a lovely person if she’s a homewreaker. She knowingly slept with a married man who has a child. If your sister wants to put a homewreaker above her own sister she can’t expect to have you pay her bills NTA
Referring to someone who played a massive role in breaking up your family as “a lovely person” is an insane thing to say…especially when it happens to your sibling. Your sister clearly doesn’t care about you at all and should be removed from your life.
NTA. You didn’t screw her over. She screwed herself over. This is all about her character or lack thereof. She could easily have been honest and upfront with you from the beginning but she chose to lie to you. The biggest betrayal by far was her dishonesty. You don’t owe your sister anything. You were giving her a gift and now you have chosen to end the gift giving. Disappointed in your parents response and if they think she needs the financial help why don’t they start paying some her bills. You absolutely rock! You drew a healthy boundary for someone who was using and abusing you. Her response simply proves how right you were to draw the boundary! Good for you!!! Updateme
She already did go fuck herself. NTA
NTA his new wife can help her trifling ass. Does she have an ex you can fuck?
Updateme
If it wasn’t a big deal she would have told you.
You are absolutely not the asshole here. Your sister’s betrayal is unbelievable, being best friends with your ex’s new wife for six years and hiding it from you is disgusting. It’s a total slap in the face after everything you’ve been through.
What’s even worse is your parents siding with her. How can they just brush this off like it is nothing? After all your pain and heartbreak, they choose to support someone who stabbed you in the back. That is cruel and shows a serious lack of respect for your feelings.
Honestly, it sounds like your sister is the golden child here. She gets away with this huge betrayal, keeps it secret, and then has your family’s backing while you’re left feeling hurt and gaslit. Classic golden child behaviour, being favoured despite being in the wrong and making you feel like you’re the problem. NTA
You’re right to cut her off, especially if you’re the one helping her financially. If she thinks she can guilt trip you after this, she’s dead wrong. And your parents, they need to open their eyes or stay out of it because their support is just adding salt to the wound.
You deserve loyalty and respect, not betrayal and gaslighting. Stand your ground and protect yourself.