I’ve noticed a few times that my husband has beenn stealing my prescription medicine. He believes he has a right to them so he just takes them. He’s also admitted to taking them because he’s “mad” at me. That was Wed so yesterday, my new safe arrived!!! I can keep not only my medicine in it, but also cash that he might take and mine and my children’s important documents.
He’s been super pissy at me since the moment it arrived. I feel a peace of mind. Hea already threatened to take it and cut it open. I will be bolting it down but I don’t think that’ll stop him.
Am I the asshole for getting the safe? I’m just tired of being stolen from and lied to. I’m thrilled I can keep a little cash in the house now too since he likes to get “mad” and take my money
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I’ve noticed a few times that my husband has beenn stealing my prescription medicine. He believes he has a right to them so he just takes them. He’s also admitted to taking them because he’s “mad” at me. That was Wed so yesterday, my new safe arrived!!! I can keep not only my medicine in it, but also cash that he might take and mine and my children’s important documents.
He’s been super pissy at me since the moment it arrived. I feel a peace of mind. Hea already threatened to take it and cut it open. I will be bolting it down but I don’t think that’ll stop him.
Am I the asshole for getting the safe? I’m just tired of being stolen from and lied to. I’m thrilled I can keep a little cash in the house now too since he likes to get “mad” and take my money
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> We are married and I don’t trust him so I got a safe to keep him out of things he likes to steal from me. Money and my medication..I feel like an asshole because he’s mad but I feel better
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
This is significantly less about being an asshole and more a serious need for a marriage counselor situation… or divorce attorney. Either your husband is taking your meds because he’s an addict, or he simply doesn’t give a flop about your health and thinks you suffering is him somehow getting revenge.
NTA of course not. Taking your meds!! I do hope he doesn’t get threatening though ….
YTA for staying with him.
If you need to bolt down a safe due to your husband, then its game over
This is scary OP, stay safe.
NTA for getting a safe, but I think you need to think very carefully about whether, and why, you want to be with someone who has so little regrd for you – he steals from you, inviafes your privacy, puts your health at risk by stealing your medications, you are scared bhe might tke or destroy your essential documents – all of these things suggest that you are in an abusive relationship.
He’s angry becasue you are challenging heis control and abusive beahviour towards you, that puts you at greater risk,
I know it can be scary and diffiuclt, but please, start making plans to get away from him . In the mean time, I’d recommend that you consder talking to a freind or family member and start moving essntials such as your and your kids docuements, any paperwork you have related to your bank account etc to store at their home so he can’t get at them even if he steals or breaks into your safe.
Check for support services for victims of domestic abuse in your area https://refuge.org.uk/ is useful if you are in the UK
You’re NTA but buying a safe isn’t going to fix what is shattered in this marriage.
It would take a ton of money and a lot of counseling or a really good divorce lawyer.
Clear NTA, and Redditor, you need to consider the strength and safety of the relationship, not just the safe.
Why do you persist on living with a thief that not only steals your medicine but sometimes just takes it to stop you having it? A man who (in your mind at the very least) will potentially steal you and your kid’s identification and your money?
NTA and if it happened to me I’d be phoning police and a solicitor
Eta – maybe the documents aren’t (just) ID but as OP states they are important.
NTA for getting the safe.
Why are you still with a thief?
NTA at all. You’re protecting yourself, your kids, and your belongings from someone who’s shown he’ll steal from you when he’s “mad.” That’s not just being petty, that’s abusive and dangerous behavior. The fact that he’s threatening to cut open the safe proves exactly why you needed it in the first place. Honestly, this isn’t just abou, it’s a huge red flag about control, respect, and your safety in this relationship.
NTA. I hope you are taking steps to get out of this marriage safely. Your husband is abusing drugs and stealing money.
It’s not ok to feel unsafe in your home. You need to solve this problem. He is not mad at you and taking your medication. He is abusing medication and using that as an excuse.
Why are you still there? Do what it takes to leave.
You know you’re not the asshole.
You also probably know that you can and should Toronto the police.
What a horrible man you’re married to.
Yikes. This is going to escalate. Tell someone you trust about this, please. And start making plans to leave.
It’s actually a federal crime to steal someone’s prescription medicine. I’d quietly post cameras to document his behavior. The fact that you feel a need to lock down money, etc. tells me it’s time for you and your kids to find a safer place. I’m very worried. I’ve seen the results of angry entitled drug addicts taking out their fury on those around them. Please have a go bag ready, even if you have to stash it with a friend, with some money, documents, meds, for when this escalates. My experience working with addicts/MH patients is that these behaviors escalate until the addict is forced to stop.
It sounds like he has an addiction. It won’t get better.
The marriage ended long ago..
GET OUT NOW!!!
YTA for staying with someone who steals from you and lies to you and giving the message to the kids that it’s all acceptable.
Keep the safe get rid of the husband. If you can’t trust him why are you with him
NTA. This relationship sounds very, very concerning. If you are unsure about how to judge the behaviors in this relationship, I encourage you to speak with a counselor.
It sounds like he might just take the whole safe to make a point.
You need to get out of this situation.
Given he expects you to use the safe, are there other places you can hide things for now? Taped to the underside of drawers, back of wardrobes or pictures, under a corner of carpet? In a dusty five year old bag of flour at the back of your cupboard, behind kitchen kickboards, inside the sofa etc?
YWBTA if you don’t get a divorce like yesterday and sue for full custody and child support to the max.
Living with someone who steals your money and prescription medicines? And he might take your and kids documents (passports? visas?) too? Seriously, why aren’t you running already instead of posting to the interwebbs?
Nta. I hope this is part of your plan to get yourself and your kids safe and away from him.
Nta
Are you safe? OP this is deeply concerning and illegal.
NTA – I don’t know what the medication it is, but if your doctor prescribed it for you, he has no business touching them. This behavior, all that you mentioned is just wrong. You should talk to a counselor because his actions and threats are serious problems. You may need for you and your children to get to a safe place.
As someone already mentioned, you should probably get your important documents away from him, like a safety deposit box. I don’t know what the rule is about putting cash in the box, so ask the banker. If it’s not allowed, give it to someone you can trust. Good luck and stay safe!!
NTA and I have to believe that this is just the tip of the iceberg here. Dude sounds unstable.
Why are you married to someone you can’t trust? Relationship is already done for. NTA.
Everyone should have a fireproof box for important documents.
It’s a little weird that this is your only action in response to ridiculous behaviour by your husband, but you do you.
NTA
This sounds like an abusive relationship. You should get yourself and your kids out as soon as you can.
A safe is a solution to a small part of a much larger problem.
Keep the safe. Divorce him.
Do the same back to him. Take his stuff. I know that they never seem to understand when you do exactly what they do back to them, but it does make me feel better lol.
What sort of prescriptions are these? Are they pain medications? Maybe your husband has a substance abuse problem, otherwise why steal someone else’s prescribed medication?
Total Red Flag. NTA
NTA. Honey, please leave this man. He is making your life miserable. It’s only going to get worse! This is a form of abuse.
Kratom is also very addictive for some people.
NTA why are you living with him
NTA One suggestion, medical and financial abuse is a thing. It’s something that is a form of control. You and your children’s safety needs to be your first priority.
NTA
Why is he still your husband? That’s absolutely ridiculous and putting up with shit like that is insane
Wtf am I reading. NTA
When it gets to the point you need a safe to keep medication and documents safe from your husband, this relationship is over.
You can’t trust your spouse anymore.