I (28F) and my fiancé (27M) are currently living in his parents’ basement to save money for a house. We’ve been here for about a year. At first, everything was great. His family seemed genuinely happy to get to know me, would invite me to dinner often, and it felt like our relationship was growing in a really positive way.

Lately though, things have shifted. I feel like they’re just completely uninterested in anything I say now. One of the ongoing issues involves his sister (25F), who is bipolar and very OCD. She uses the laundry constantly. One time, I moved her laundry because we needed to do ours, and I put it in a hamper that was already in the laundry room. She got upset and said it was a “dirty hamper” — which I didn’t know at the time. We agreed after that to put her laundry in a plastic bag if we needed to move it. Fair enough. But her laundry is constantly in there.

Another thing: she often comes into the basement to take “tobacco chops” — basically bowls of tobacco in a bong — and since I’ve moved in, she’s started leaving piles of clothes, blankets, and shoes all over the couch. A lot of the clothes are actually ones I gave her, but she’s never taken them back upstairs. Lately, I’ve noticed it’s started to smell like smoke down here.

Yesterday, I got into one of those “cleaning moods.” My fiancé and I had been housesitting for my coworker this week, so none of the mess in the house was ours. When we got back, the kitchen was disgusting. It took me two hours to clean it. There were dead flies, trash in the sinks, both sinks and both dishwashers completely full, and food that smelled awful. His dad (who’s been out of town) is usually the one who does the cleaning, and I didn’t want him to come home to that.

We don’t pay rent or contribute financially here — they’ve refused it — so I try to contribute by helping out however I can. After cleaning the kitchen, I was still in the cleaning zone and went down to our basement space. I decided to clean up the couch and put all the clothes, blankets that smelled like smoke, and seven pairs of shoes into a bag and placed it by her door — just like my fiancé’s dad had told me to do before. My fiancé had just washed the blankets for me.

Two hours later, his sister came storming downstairs, slamming doors, throwing her shoes at the wall, and loudly talking on the phone to her mom — clearly on purpose so I’d hear. She was cussing and talking shit about me very openly. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard her or his mom talk about me behind my back.

I didn’t tell my fiancé right away because he was at work. In the past, when I brought up drama (like the laundry issue), he got annoyed that I “bothered him” while he was working. So I kept quiet. Later that day, he called me to say his mom wanted to go out to dinner and asked me to go upstairs and ask about the plans. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable going upstairs at that moment and calmly explained why.

He was pissed. He called his mom and sister, yelling at them. When he got home, it escalated even more — I heard yelling that was out of control. His mom said it was “petty” for me to move her stuff. But I’m sorry… it’s been down here for months and it smells like smoke in my living space?

She also said, “You just work my son up and get him mad at us” which wasn’t my intention at all. I even told my fiance to calm down and go downstairs. I’ve gone from living alone to being around a whole family — it’s been a hard adjustment for me.

Then I overheard his mom say I’m a “hoarder” and that “people who come into the house have to look at that shit.” When I moved in, the basement was an absolute mess. I’ve kept it clean and decorated it super cute. I also furnished a full apartment before this — I’ve just got more stuff than my fiancé because I lived alone.

I’m thankful my fiancé defended me, but now I feel like somehow this is all my fault. Like I’m the reason there’s now a giant fight in the family. It really hurts that they think I’m petty or trying to stir up drama when that’s just not who I am. I have zero drama with anyone else in my life.

Anyway, we’re all supposed to have a talk when his dad gets back. I’m dreading it. AITA for how I handled the situation? And what should I even say when we talk?