Hello, I’m writing this out of frustration, and I came here because I know adults and even young adults will give me honest advice.
Me and my boyfriend are going to college together(our college is 6 hours away) The thing is, I’m starting a month earlier than him, and everybody in my family and his family knew this. I’ve been saying for weeks that he’s going to drive me there after work and to help me move in. (Nobody in my family drives.)
So today, my mom calls me with my dad sitting in the living room and tells me, “Oh, your dad can come with you and take you and your boyfriend to college, so he doesn’t get tired driving back after dropping you off.” (Mind you, my boyfriend is driving me after work, so it’s a late 6-hour drive, and we already planned to stop halfway so he could sleep.) I kinda assumed my family would think oh he need sleep?
I immediately got upset. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. If we were going to do anything, it would’ve happened in those 3 f-ing years. And now we’re literally going to college together. It frustrates me so much that they still have zero trust in me.
My mom has called me awful names in the past just for having a boyfriend like slut whore and more. And my dad has never stepped in to stop her. I think that’s why I’m so angry. It doesn’t feel like they’re trying to “help” or “make things easier.” It feels like they don’t trust me or think I’m responsible enough to be alone with someone I’ve been with for years.
So I just left the room and said im going to ask my bf and told my sister how I felt. I have so much guilt in some parts because I feel like I say no they’ll treat me like a slut or see me as one.
Please let me know what you think and if I’m the AITA?
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Hello, I’m writing this out of frustration, and I came here because I know adults and even young adults will give me honest advice.
Me and my boyfriend are going to college together(our college is 6 hours away) The thing is, I’m starting a month earlier than him, and everybody in my family and his family knew this. I’ve been saying for weeks that he’s going to drive me there after work and to help me move in. (Nobody in my family drives.)
So today, my mom calls me with my dad sitting in the living room and tells me, “Oh, your dad can come with you and take you and your boyfriend to college, so he doesn’t get tired driving back after dropping you off.” (Mind you, my boyfriend is driving me after work, so it’s a late 6-hour drive, and we already planned to stop halfway so he could sleep.) I kinda assumed my family would think oh he need sleep?
I immediately got upset. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. If we were going to do anything, it would’ve happened in those 3 f-ing years. And now we’re literally going to college together. It frustrates me so much that they still have zero trust in me.
My mom has called me awful names in the past just for having a boyfriend like slut whore and more. And my dad has never stepped in to stop her. I think that’s why I’m so angry. It doesn’t feel like they’re trying to “help” or “make things easier.” It feels like they don’t trust me or think I’m responsible enough to be alone with someone I’ve been with for years.
So I just left the room and said im going to ask my bf and told my sister how I felt. I have so much guilt in some parts because I feel like I say no they’ll treat me like a slut or see me as one.
Please let me know what you think and if I’m the AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Well I actually found out they planned my dad going with me because they wanted to surprise me with my uncle also going? I told them how I felt upset still because when I told them oh I didn’t know I felt like you guys didn’t trust me my dad yelled “you can go with ur men” “you have a nasty mind” and i screamed at him
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
If you’re going to college, you’re an adult. Tell them no, he’s not coming
NTA, and your family needs to stay the the out of your love life because what you and your boyfriend do/don’t do is absolutely none of their business.
Them calling you a slut is appalling and it’s not normal or acceptable behaviour. I’m glad you’re going to college a healthy distance away from them.
You’re NTA. Ostensibly, you’re an adult, and you can make your own choices. That said, if you are financially dependent on your parents for college, you may need to decide just how far you want to go in pissing them off, if they are inclined to withhold financial support.
Your sex life and relationship are your own business and not theirs, but you may need to handle those things quietly and acquiesce to their mental gymnastics around it. The two of you are going to college together, so you will obviously have freedom away from home. You may need to play the game for a few more years til you’re through college.
Then again, if they’re not financially supporting you, and you have a place to go on school breaks, feel free to tell them to kick rocks.
Eh? Seems like your dad might be over protective but instead of going passive aggressive just say “no thanks, we already have plans.”
NTA If your going to college then your at least 18. Tell them no, you wanna soften the blow say there ain’t room since your moving. I’m sorry your parents think it’s cool to call you names but it’s not. Also just saying if your boyfriend needs to rest on the return trip there are literally rest stops everywhere and if he can’t find one he could go somewhere like a gas station or Walmart parking lot to sleep for a few hours, my mom used to do that when we had to drive long trips
NTA but I don’t think you should have gotten mad…When your mom said that you should have just corrected her and said, ‘sorry mom, plans are already made’. Done.
You really should plan the long drive on a day when your bf has not already worked a long shift.
Since you are apparently planning on cutting the trip in two, why not simply let him get a good night’s sleep and do the drive the next day? If you leave fairly early, and take a break or two along the way, the trip will be safer.
As for your father…why don’t you ask him why he wants to come with you? If he says it’s because he doesn’t want you to be alone with your bf in a motel room, then tell him that his chaperoning is not necessary.
If he says he’d like to help you move in at your college, then think about accepting his presence.
NTA but your mother has issues, so enjoy being away from her at college.
NTA but try to see it from a different perspective. You’re leaving their home for college now, could it be empty nest syndrome? It’s pretty common when young people move out for the first time. Maybe they just want to spend that time with you? But if it’s what you’re saying it is, then your parents are wrong in talking to you that way. You can make your own choices as an adult. Good luck with your freshman year!