I’ve never done a post like this so I apologize if I use the wrong lingo.
I 23F and my husband 23M host a Dungeons and Dragons meeting every other weekend. The last weekend we hosted, my friend, we will call her Alex 22F pulled me aside to talk one on one. Mind you she has a boyfriend 21M who is the DND master I think is what you call it. Anyways she pulls me aside into my own bedroom and tells me how she has fantasies of having a 3some with her boyfriend and my Husband…..
I am of course thrown back not expecting this to be the conversation. She tells me about these 3some fantasies and then proceeds to ask me if I would be okay with it and that she would understand if I said no. She then asks again in a different way and I’m trying to be as nice as I can by saying me and my husband will have to talk about it and that personally I’m not super comfortable with it (maybe I should have just been rude with it) so I get us off the topic so she will drop it and then her bf and my husband come into the room. She brings up the conversation and is blushing and hiding her face saying she’s just nervous about it but proceeds to bring it up anyways. So now we’re all in the room together talking about this and I stay adamant that me and my husband will talk alone after they leave. Fast forward to them leaving and we’re walking out the door and Alex whispers behind me “at least think about it” I thought I heard her wrong so I ask her to repeat and she just keeps saying never mind.
They leave my husband and I talk and he’s not comfortable with it either and doesn’t want to be part of this so called 3some idea. I wait a couple days to calm down cause I’m obviously super upset by this. I messaged Alex’s bf and asked him what his thoughts were. Basically his understandings were that she doesn’t want the 3some to happen and that it was something she just couldn’t get out of her head so she wanted to tell me so she could get over it…. but she asked me for permission …..
Idk I feel like I’m being double crossed and I do NOT trust her around my husband whatsoever but how am I supposed to respond now? We still have DND meets and although we’re at odds with the couple we love everyone else and don’t want to leave them just because of her. Reddit is always great with this stuff and I could be in the wrong here idk. Something just feels off so I’m not able to just drop the fact that she asked this stuff of me.
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Backup of the post’s body: I’ve never done a post like this so I apologize if I use the wrong lingo.
I 23F and my husband 23M host a Dungeons and Dragons meeting every other weekend. The last weekend we hosted, my friend, we will call her Alex 22F pulled me aside to talk one on one. Mind you she has a boyfriend 21M who is the DND master I think is what you call it. Anyways she pulls me aside into my own bedroom and tells me how she has fantasies of having a 3some with her boyfriend and my Husband…..
I am of course thrown back not expecting this to be the conversation. She tells me about these 3some fantasies and then proceeds to ask me if I would be okay with it and that she would understand if I said no. She then asks again in a different way and I’m trying to be as nice as I can by saying me and my husband will have to talk about it and that personally I’m not super comfortable with it (maybe I should have just been rude with it) so I get us off the topic so she will drop it and then her bf and my husband come into the room. She brings up the conversation and is blushing and hiding her face saying she’s just nervous about it but proceeds to bring it up anyways. So now we’re all in the room together talking about this and I stay adamant that me and my husband will talk alone after they leave. Fast forward to them leaving and we’re walking out the door and Alex whispers behind me “at least think about it” I thought I heard her wrong so I ask her to repeat and she just keeps saying never mind.
They leave my husband and I talk and he’s not comfortable with it either and doesn’t want to be part of this so called 3some idea. I wait a couple days to calm down cause I’m obviously super upset by this. I messaged Alex’s bf and asked him what his thoughts were. Basically his understandings were that she doesn’t want the 3some to happen and that it was something she just couldn’t get out of her head so she wanted to tell me so she could get over it…. but she asked me for permission …..
Idk I feel like I’m being double crossed and I do NOT trust her around my husband whatsoever but how am I supposed to respond now? We still have DND meets and although we’re at odds with the couple we love everyone else and don’t want to leave them just because of her. Reddit is always great with this stuff and I could be in the wrong here idk. Something just feels off so I’m not able to just drop the fact that she asked this stuff of me.
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I forgot to mention that I messaged Alex after on snap letting her know that the answer to her question was a definite NO and wasn’t an option in case she left thinking there was still a chance and her response was “okay 🥺🥺”
Idk…. if she’s propositioning his friends when he’s not really into it, i don’t their relationship will last….. just wait her out and make sure she’s not messaging your husband.Â
You should have been rude to her about it
NTA I would have thrown her out. The disrespect to ask that question in your own home. I would have said, “I’ll buy you a dildo and a vibrator with rechargeable batteries before I say yes to that”.
Alex is off her rocker cut her off
This is insane I would have not been polite. I would have told her to get the fuck out of my house, and to never contact me again. I would suggest either they leave the DND group or you and you husband leave. If you want to be polite text her she and her bf made you extremely uncomfortable and you have decided to go NC
I don’t why people are downvoting this post. You didn’t do anything wrong. I am also glad to hear that your husband don’t like the idea as well.
Nta.
No contact immediately. Your husband should understand that there’s no way you or he should have any contact with her ever again.
Not directly or indirectly. She is to be blocked on all forms of social media, phone number. She is never ever allowed to come over nor will you or your husband ever be over at her place under any circumstances.
That thirsty ho3 kept pushing literally non stop, after you said NO, multiple times.
That’s not understand if you say no, or respecting your boundaries.
Time to stop being nice you tell her there will no way it’s going to happen only hang out in public no homes
I would have needed to hold back my hood side from having her face land on my fist after her tenacity.
If you’re trying to preserve the friendship/their place in the DND group, and it sounds like you are, you say, “Neither of us are comfortable with your proposal. Please don’t ask again. Ready for some DND?”
Do not consider this under any circumstances with her, even if you and your husband are ever into the idea. She either lied to her partner about her intentions, or she shifted her intent after that conversation – on something extremely significant to her relationship – and didn’t talk to her partner first. That’s a sign of things to come and a recipe for disaster. At a minimum, she is not demonstrating the high level of communication and transparency required to have any hope of success in such an arrangement.
Imagine it from her boyfriend’s – your friend’s – POV. He just found out his gf (1) wants to bang your husband, (2) is willing to deceive him or not inform him about it ahead of time. She may not be around that long.
This is a time to be rude and more, WTF that is brazen of her to ask to borrow your husband for a threesome.
This is a no coming back kind of situation and the friendship is over, It was super inappropriate and she knows it. I would not trust her in my life and around my husband, it’s even weirder that her bf is comfortable with the situation.
> Dungeons and Dragons
> 3some
I remember when we used to just be nerds.Â
YOLO
Holy shit. That’s wildly inappropriate on so many levels.
I’ll be direct, protect your relationship, this friend of yours (she should be an ex at the moment) wants your husband and invented this threesome. Cut her out of your life
You were a lot kinder than I would have been.
NTA, go no contact immediately. She is not to be trusted at all.
Your husband said no. You said no. No is no. Alex need to get out of your life. Because she really want your husband.
Easy
You’re better than me, I’d have smacked a bitch so hard
Girl, first of all she is not a friend of yours. Secondly learn the word “NO”. You are being way too nice about this. And why even ask her boyfriend? It doesn’t matter how he feels about the 3some because is about how you feel about it. And make sure you DH is not talking to her behind your back, just saying 🤷🏻‍♀️
Should have been rude about it.
Paragraphs please.
She needs a very firm hell NO from both of you.
You have to go no contact with her. She seems immature and may try again later. She also might try talking to your husband directly.
Do not let that woman back in your house. She wants your husband and the only reason she’s backtracking now is because it’s obvious your husband doesn’t want her and she looks absolutely stupid. It would be wise to check your husbands phone just in case though
Why would you tell her you would talk to your husband about it instead of just saying no?
Why didn’t your husband immediately tell her no he was not interested?
Did you have her roll for initiative?
I thought that everyone who played dungeons and dragons were virgins,I didn’t realize they were so freaky.
Girl you’re so polite. I would have had to drop her off at the restorative dentist if she said that at my house. In my room. Girl was looking for you to catch a charge.
Wowzers…… guess people have no restraint cut her off because she won’t be satisfied until it happens and she won’t mind going behind your back
Hard no!!! These things don’t ever seem to end well.
The way I would have immediately lost it…. tf did you just say? Did you just ask To fuck my husband…
I would have tossed her out of my house when she asked. Nope. Not okay.
The lady balls on this chick. Asking you that in your home…not only that, but she pulls you aside into your own bedroom to discuss wanting to have sex with your husband!
I’d tell her boyfriend that it wasn’t Alex just telling you about her fantasy so she could “get over it”, but that she basically badgered you for your permission repeatedly. (Also, HE WAS THERE when she brought it up in front of your husband – how did he NOT know she was serious about this??).
Me? I’d tell the whole group that you and your husband have jointly agreed you will no longer be hosting Alex in your home, nor will you and your husband be attending events where Alex is present, as she thought it was okay to blindside you with a private request for permission to sleep with your husband, then decided to proposition your husband in front of you. Neither of you is comfortable in her presence. Let the group sort out how they feel about her presence going forward.