So I got home from work today with a big ass bag of frozen french fries and I put about a fourth of the bag in the air fryer. Important to note, it was enough for everyone to have some because I was planning to share.
I go to my room for a while to change and let them cook and then when I go back out to check on them I notice about half are missing. I go to ask who took some and I see my dad with a plate of fries, to which I said “Hey, I’m the future can you please just ask before taking some?”
He got incredibly defensive, saying that he pays the bills and if he wants to eat food he’ll eat food. Saying that I don’t need all those fries to myself, etc. And I was like, ‘I don’t mind you having some I just wanted you to ask first.’
What frustrates me the most is that I’m a huge germaphobe, and my parents know this. I don’t drink from cans that were out of my sight, I rinse plates before using them even if they’re clean from the cupboard, and I most certainly do not eat food someone else touched with their hands. They know that if we have burgers, I’ll put my own together, shit like that.
So now, I don’t even want the fries that are left because there’s a pretty high chance that he just scooped what he wanted out with his hands. And I know that won’t make sense to a lot of people but I physically can’t bring myself to eat them now that the thoughts been in my head.
To keep a long story short, it became a bigger deal than it needed to be. Because the way I see it, he should just take accountability and apologize and agree not to do it again in the future. Whereas he doesn’t think he did anything wrong and I’m the asshole for confronting him about it when I was planning to share anyways.
Am I the asshole?
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So I got home from work today with a big ass bag of frozen french fries and I put about a fourth of the bag in the air fryer. Important to note, it was enough for everyone to have some because I was planning to share.
I go to my room for a while to change and let them cook and then when I go back out to check on them I notice about half are missing. I go to ask who took some and I see my dad with a plate of fries, to which I said “Hey, I’m the future can you please just ask before taking some?”
He got incredibly defensive, saying that he pays the bills and if he wants to eat food he’ll eat food. Saying that I don’t need all those fries to myself, etc. And I was like, ‘I don’t mind you having some I just wanted you to ask first.’
What frustrates me the most is that I’m a huge germaphobe, and my parents know this. I don’t drink from cans that were out of my sight, I rinse plates before using them even if they’re clean from the cupboard, and I most certainly do not eat food someone else touched with their hands. They know that if we have burgers, I’ll put my own together, shit like that.
So now, I don’t even want the fries that are left because there’s a pretty high chance that he just scooped what he wanted out with his hands. And I know that won’t make sense to a lot of people but I physically can’t bring myself to eat them now that the thoughts been in my head.
To keep a long story short, it became a bigger deal than it needed to be. Because the way I see it, he should just take accountability and apologize and agree not to do it again in the future. Whereas he doesn’t think he did anything wrong and I’m the asshole for confronting him about it when I was planning to share anyways.
Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I may be the asshole for making such a big deal out of the situation, but I also feel like what I’m asking for isn’t that difficult. A simple message or knock on my door to ask if he could take some would of been enough to avoid the conflict entirely.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA!! Scooping them out with his hands- even with an air frier is INCREDIBLY foolish. He could have burnt himself BADLY. Ntm the blatant disrespect and disregard for your boundaries. Your mom is also an AH for not telling him off for it
🎼🎵Daddyy, why did you eat my fries? 🎶 I bought them, and they were miiiine! 🎸🎶
NTA but YTVQ.
What’s with the “I’m from the future” line? That alone tells me YTA that lives at home and doesn’t contribute to any of the household responsibilities and expect everyone to cater to your whims. Yes, your Dad should’ve asked, but does he really need to? Hey, so you bought some fries, good for you! When someone else cooks something or brings food home, do you ask before taking? I have a strong suspicion that your answer is “No”.
You know damn well he didn’t wash his hands first. Men never wash their hands after using the bathroom. Gross.
NTA—it’s totally reasonable for you to expect other people to ask before they take stuff, whether it be food or belongings. I’d bet you’re not allowed to just grab your dad’s stuff without permission.
NTA my dad (my whole family) does the same shit. I don’t mind sharing, it’s not a big deal to me, but just ask me. Unlike you I’m not a germaphobe, or I’d never eat anything, we share a lot of food. So I’ll get a milkshake, but in the fridge, I come back a quarter of it is gone, and I’m like brooooooo, got me crashing out trying to find out who in the house did it. It’s him every time, sometimes my mom, other times my siblings.
Again I don’t mind, we share stuff, but I like to be ask, cause when I go opening the fridge expecting a full amount of something and it’s not there, it pisses me off. But when I bring it up I’m the bad guy. Mind you I always ask before I take something it’s just common courtesy.
YTA. It’s your old man just let him have some fries and put another batch in 12 mins and you good. Put that shit together yourself
Your dad was embarrassed and handled it poorly. NTA. I’m hearing OCD more than germaphobe, though. I’m just assuming, but the water you rinse your plate with isn’t steralized, right? Just tap water? If that’s the case, it sounds more like a compulsive behavior aimed at alleviating anxiety than a specific phobia. Just food for thought. Best of luck to you.
Nta, I hate people touching my food too, and so does my nephew. But if you bought a huge bag I would’ve just dumped those in a bowl for everyone else and made more.
NTA
If there was a United Nations of fries, you would be the Secretary General.
The taking of fries is serious business.
You demonstrated immense control.
So you want him to ask before taking some fries, what about you asking before using the air fryer, the electric, the freezer etc. If he had asked would you still have refused to touch them? Why did you not ask if he wanted some before cooking them? You are both being ridiculous.
YTA.
Start paying the bills if you want to control who eats the fries.
Is your name Marcilene and is your dad the devil?
ESH Your Dad shouldn’t have helped himself, but you’ve overreacted. You have 3/4 of a bag left so, serve the cooked fries to everyone you were going to share with anyway and just cook up a few more for yourself. It does not have to be a drama.
NTA. I had a similar thing happen to me like two months ago. When I was little my dad, myself, and sometimes my brother would eat Hershey’s frosting straight out of the tub, so I got some for myself and brought it home during the summer after college ended…and my dad ate it. I nearly creid because I was saving it for the perfect moment (and, unlike when I’m on campus, at home I can’t just go out to the store when I need too) and he ended up buying me a new tub. Your dad should replace your fries.
NTA. Does your father know about your germaphobia? An empathetic parent would respect that. Or at least ask first.
I’m not sure what to suggest here. What does your mother have to say about this?
YTA. Yeah, your dad isn’t great but if you’re living with them and they are paying the bills, they are entitled to your fries. I also think you could work on your mental health – going to be hard to have a relationship if you’re already such a germaphobe.
NTA. And you didn’t ask but this does sound like actual OCD. Specifically, the part about how once it’s in your head. You can’t get past it.
YTA