So I have a close relative that are desperate to have a puppy. But the problem is that she is very allergic to any kind of fur animal. So she can’t have it at home. An she have gone looking at puppies almost 2 a month for some years to find any puppy she is not allergic to.
My birthday was some weeks ago and she got me a F**k puppy. She asked me if I wanted one before and I said no. I don’t have the time for a puppy sense I work in a different town and the commute is an hour one way. And by law in my country a dog are not allowed to be alone for more than 6 hour (even less when they are younger)
So I asked her to bring it back to where she got the puppy but she refused and said she could care for it while I was at work. After much discussion I said it could stay if I was assigned as the owner.
But when the papper was done and I was the owner I put the dog up for adoption and it took only a couple of days to re-home the puppy.
Now she is not talking to me and saying I betrayed her.
So AITA for saying that the puppy could stay if I became the owner but with the intention to re-home it?
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So I have a close relative that are desperate to have a puppy. But the problem is that she is very allergic to any kind of fur animal. So she can’t have it at home. An she have gone looking at puppies almost 2 a month for some years to find any puppy she is not allergic to.
My birthday was some weeks ago and she got me a F**k puppy. She asked me if I wanted one before and I said no. I don’t have the time for a puppy sense I work in a different town and the commute is an hour one way. And by law in my country a dog are not allowed to be alone for more than 6 hour (even less when they are younger)
So I asked her to bring it back to where she got the puppy but she refused and said she could care for it while I was at work. After much discussion I said it could stay if I was assigned as the owner.
But when the papper was done and I was the owner I put the dog up for adoption and it took only a couple of days to re-home the puppy.
Now she is not talking to me and saying I betrayed her.
So AITA for saying that the puppy could stay if I became the owner but with the intention to re-home it?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I said that the puppy could stay if I became the owner even if I had the intention to re-home it as fast as I could?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I mean you’re an asshole for saying you would keep the dog and then getting rid of it. There’s no reason to lie. They absolutely should not have gifted you the dog then pressured you to keep it. This is an ESH for me
This one is a soft ESH to me, but your relative is way more of an asshole than you are. Your relative hasn’t considered that puppies need a lot of care and engagement. She won’t just be able to quickly see the dog, then leave before she gets allergic again. Especially if the puppy isn’t even house trained yet. This whole setup makes even less sense to me if she’s being declared as the legal owner. At that point you’re a glorified pet-sitter and boarding house for her puppy. She’s the one betraying you and refusing to listen to your wishes.
I really respect people who don’t get pets that aren’t suited to their lifestyle. I think it’s just plain cruel to the animal if you aren’t fully prepared to care for it. Unfortunately for you, it sounds like your relative’s head was so far up her ass she’d never be able to understand that. It might have been wrong for you to lie, but with the kind of person who’d impose this on you, it kind of feels inevitable that you would. You can offer an apology for lying, but also remind her that you’d been very clear in your limits and that you won’t be backed into this corner again.
Edit: also, consider this: would she have been happy for you to keep the puppy if you’d found someone else to look after the dog and she only saw it a couple of times a month? If this was truly your gift, then you should be able to make any arrangements for the dog care that you want.
People who refuse to listen to the word “no” cease to be entitled to honest answers from you, at least on that particular subject.
After all, if they don’t believe your “no,” then you are basically looking around for any answer they will accept, so you can try to move on.
NTA. You said “no” clearly and repeatedly and she was intent on manipulating you until you gave her the answer she wanted. She has no one to blame but herself that she only chose to believe you when you finally gave her a “yes” and she shouldn’t have been surprised that you didn’t keep a dog she knew you didn’t want.
NTA. I disagree with those saying you are an AH for lying (ie the E S H judgments). When someone is as manipulative and forceful as your relative, your options are very limited. You were honest with them many times by saying NO you didn’t want a dog. They ignored you and thrust this responsibility on you, with the safety and wellbeing of the pup at stake. This person sounds pretty much unhinged. Giving a pet as a surprise gift is an incredibly bad idea… with few exceptions it’s pretty much an AH move in and of itself. Couple this up with it CLEARLY being self-serving and selfishly motivated by your relative, and against your EXPLICIT instructions, I actually think you handled it the best you could. If you had not misled her, you would have had a harder time rehoming the thing because presumably you would have needed her permission to do so, which she never would have given.
So she’s not talking to you. Maybe it’s for the best. She might need professional counseling to deal with her very irrational way of moving about the world and her obsession with pets that causes her to get them for OTHER people.
PETS ARE NOT PRESENTS
Your relative sucks. If you responsibly rehomed the puppy, you are NTA.
Nta let’s be honest she would have just begged someone else to let the puppy stay with them. You did what was best for the puppy plain and simple she shouldn’t have gotten it for you since you said no she just wanted something for her.
NTA. That wasn’t a gift, it was a long-term responsibility disguised as a fluffy guilt trip. If she wanted a puppy so badly, she should’ve gifted it to herself (and a lifetime supply of allergy meds).
Hard ESH. If you had not said you’d be the owner and she gave you the puppy anyway, that’s different. No one should ever give a pet as a gift without mutual consent, ever. But you should not have signed the paperwork, then given the dog away. The only way you are NTA is that you recognized that you didn’t want to be a dog owner, and hopefully gave the pup a chance at a happy life with someone who will love it.
NTA. Some people just can’t accept facts.
ESH
You lied that makes you an AH, and your relative went behind your back making her an AH.
ESH. Her, for obvious reasons, and you, for lying.