He was supposed to pick me up at 2 pm. I got there at 1:55 pm and I was all dolled up and ready for our date. I did my hair and makeup and had a nice outfit on, put on perfume and jewellery. So Im sitting there in the sun it was very hot and I was waiting. I got so upset that he wasnt on time that I think to myself if he doesnt show up in 10 minutes I‘m leaving. So i set a timer and to my suprise he doesnt show up in time so I left and went home.
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He was supposed to pick me up at 2 pm. I got there at 1:55 pm and I was all dolled up and ready for our date. I did my hair and makeup and had a nice outfit on, put on perfume and jewellery. So Im sitting there in the sun it was very hot and I was waiting. I got so upset that he wasnt on time that I think to myself if he doesnt show up in 10 minutes I‘m leaving. So i set a timer and to my suprise he doesnt show up in time so I left and went home.
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> The action I took was leaving and the problem with it or what could be judged about it is that I left after only 10 minutes
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
ESH. He should have let you know if he was running late, but to just up and leave after only 10 min with no communication is a bit much.
Info: was this a first date? What did he say when you called or texted him to see what was keeping him?
Info. Did they contact you later and explain anything?
Good for you. I don’t tolerate lateness personally.
I don’t think you have provided enough information here to make a judgement. Did you try to contact him? Did he try to contact you? What communication occurred after the fact?
YTA 10 minutes could have been him having a hard time finding parking or getting caught in traffic. Leaving without even reaching out is an AH move.
NTA. He should have communicated if he was running late. If anything mad respect for upholding your boundaries.
Sounds like he dodged a bullet, YTA.
No, you know your worth, keep going babe
10 mins? Did he not say he was running late? I give people longer than that but then id be sending a message asking their eta. This is for friends etc. Or im like us everything ok?
Im often late but been working on it, if im going to be a little late, usually 5 or 10mins i do let people know.
YTA – 10 mins isn’t that long and he could have had a good reason.
Did he communicate with OP on his lateness? Did she communicate on with him? Like, “Hey, I’m here, where are you?”.
INFO: did you attempt to contact him?
If he lets you know he is late – YTA. His reason could be traffic.
If he did not let you know, you are NTA. I couldn’t date someone who is late on the first date without letting me know. Sorry, but nowadays it’s easy to ask e.g Siri to send a text.
So… he didn’t attempt to contact you, nor you him? In this day and age, that seems very very strange.
10 minutes? That’s stuck in traffic! You’re not all that.
INFO: was this a first date?
ESH. He certainly should have communicated with you that he was running late but maybe something happened on the way. To me, 10 minutes isn’t that long of a time to wait especially if you didn’t communicate that to him.
INFO: was there any communication at all?
Did you call or communicate at all?
Did he ever showed up?
No windows?
Looks rapid. I’d have a go.
Curious what the maintenance is projected to be.
ESH – Him for being late without communicating, and you for not reaching out for clarification before leaving.
Ten minutes is a bit extreme for your overreaction, especially since you were five minutes early. Assuming you have a car, you could have gone there and chilled for a minute while texting him to see if he was still on the way or not.
YTA. Whilst I cannot stand lateness, only waiting 10 minutes is extreme. He could have been stuck in traffic or parking up and therefore not able to text/call since he was driving. I think you should have asked how far away he was and made your decision from there. Yes, it’s bad manners to be late but you didn’t even give him the opportunity to explain or even ask where he was.
Nta: if they didn’t message running a few minutes behind; then he doesn’t have manners and or is a bad human.
ESH. He should have contacted you to let you know he was running late, and he should have reached out ideally before 2pm. If you heard nothing from him about why or how much longer by 2:10pm, that’s really rude. However, if you never made an attempt to reach out to him to let him know you had arrived and to get his ETA, and then you just left with no explanation, that was pretty rude too.
> I did my hair and makeup and had a nice outfit on, put on perfume and jewellery.
You didn’t mention whether or not you shaved your legs. If you did, then I’m on your side. If you did not, then I’d probably side with slow poke.
INFO: Has he tried to contact you since then to apologise? If someone’s running late, it’s polite to let the other person know. On first or second dates (at least) both parties should really make an effort to be a bit early out of courtesy. He didn’t.
Lmao, this shows a complete lack of real world experience, you’re probably not ready to date. Could your brain really not think of a reason why he would be slightly late but not be able to tell you?
10m is my maximum wait time, too. The late person is the one responsible for calling and explaining. I don’t ask why. I just leave. They can write me when they arrive 37 minutes late and ask where I am and I can then reply “You said 2. I waited and left when you were late without calling. Please be more responsible and respectful than that.”
I mean, did you try to call him?
And why was he late or did you just ghost him after
Not at all. If he texted or called before the allotted time, maybe I would say cut him a break…but even then you are well within your rights to just leave. If he didn’t even bother to give you a heads up though, then that dude either doesn’t respect you/your time or is too irresponsible anyway.
YTA. How hard would it have been to text and say “Hey, I got here a little early. Are you here yet?”
Yeah, he could’ve texted saying he was running late or whatever, but with the texting while driving laws, even voice to text can get you a ticket in my state now.
But since you’ve never been more than 10min late in your life, I guess you wouldn’t understand.
In theory NTA but in practive a bit of an ahole/
10 minutes is too short of a time to bail imo.
Now people being late is not good and it happens a lot.
However if people left after 10 minutes a quarter the dates in the world would not come off.
If a person is late often then yes 10 minutes is fine to bail imo, but first date or so? that is a bit extreme.
Did you ever find out why he was late?
I usually give 15 minutes. Was this the first time he was late? And how into him were you?
INFO: Did he text you at all to say hey I’m late? Couldn’t you go back in to wait someplace cool?
YTA. Do you not have a phone? Why didn’t you text or call him? Why did you choose to be picked up at an outdoor location in hot weather?
NTA.
ESH He’s late and didn’t communicate anything. You got pissed and left, not communicating anything. A shame too. Two people unable to communicate should stay together to protect those that DO know how to communicate from you both.
ESH look I hate people wasting my time, but it sounds like you expected him to fail by setting a timer. By now you would’ve heard if he stood you up. Or if you stood him up. So which is it?
So judging by the fact that you’re refusing to answer multiple people’s requests for extra info about if there was any communication about him being late I’m gonna guess there was, and if so that makes you a massive YTA
So you left when about 10 minutes after 2? or a bit more?
He should have texted you he was running late.
You should have contacted to him to see why he was running late.
ESH
INFO needed. Did he messaged you to say he was running late? Did you message him asking where are you? Shit happens and it is always nice to offer a little bit of grace that if they are running late that it isn’t on purpose.
I have had dates that ran late & have been late for a date. Always extenuating circumstances. Dates normally turned out great regardless. I normally will ask if they want me to order them a drink if they are running late (but have been in contact).
Bet the dude was driving and be responsible by not texting and everyone is raking him over the coals. 10 mins late isn’t that bad and the fact she didn’t even text him to say she was leaving is crazy to me.
I suspect many of the people saying you should have waited more are the ones who are often late. They never noticed the people who show up late are in a better mood than the who waited.
NTA.
If I’m running late, it’s on me to reach out.
If you texted him or something and he didn’t respond NTA.
You haven’t mention if he’s followed up or asked where you were, so I’m assuming he didn’t and he kinda just stood you up.
So technically you’d be the Ahole for bailing without asking him whats up, but it sounds like your instincts were correct so.. NTA
NTA
I feel like everyone saying YTA is a non-punctual person 🤣 if I’m running late to something that I deem important I will reach out. I’m also typically very punctual.
YTA.
You didn’t want to be there anyway and are Justifying.
YTA over dramatic and immature
NTA
If these are your standards, your date simply didn’t meet them.
Did he text saying why he was late? Could have been traffic. I would have at least reached out to see where they were. But if they didn’t send you anything about being late then I understand
YTA maybe something came up while he was driving and couldn’t text you? Because he was driving? Omg
YTA maybe something came up while he was driving and couldn’t text you? Because he was driving? Omg
ESH….No communication between either party?
Date did not text to mention they are running late.
You did not text and inquire, hey, we still on?
I am confused as to why you were waiting in the hot sun if they were picking you up.
You’re picking someone up for a date, you should be there early. NTA.
YTA – 10 minutes is nothing. He could’ve been looking for parking or hit traffic and it’s irresponsible to text while driving.
30 minutes no communication is “leave without saying anything” territory.
Info: How long after 2 did he end up arriving?
NTA. He should’ve made an effort to let you know he was running late.
Did you call or text him to see where he was? You only waited for 15 minutes. Yta
10 freaking minutes?
YTA
YTA.
there is not enough information here. Did you communicate at all to each other during the day? You could have texted them to find out their ETA. It’s annoying sure, but there’s a lot of acceptable reasons to run late IMO, Traffic being a big one. Did you reach out at all?
I’m gonna go with ESH. It sounds like this was an easy problem to solve with basic communication