Throwaway account Long story short, my daughter who was 20 at the time accused my wife ( we are the same age) of burning her, my wife got into a lot of legal issues and people started shunning her for these lies that spread fast, turns out that my daughter made the mark herself, my wife has 4 kids from her previous marriage and together we have 2 twins. My daughter has ALWAYS hated my wife to the point that even her mother ( my ex ) went NC with her due to her behaviour.
My wife nacho’d my daughter a long time ago, which i admit i would have also done if i had a stepkid who acted the same way as my daughter, my daughter ended up going NC with me because i exposed HER lies and tried staying at her moms house, my ex refused to take her in.
My daughter still stayed NC with me and i’ll admit i didnt try to reach out to her, if i went nc with my parents the LAST thing i would want is for them to reach out to me so i respected her NC, My twin girls are 16 now and they know that they have a half sister from ME but they have never spoken to her nor do they have any ill or good feelings towards her, they just dont want to see or know about her, i dont blame them, their sister is a stranger to them. I came to find out from my son in law – who was able to find me on facebook and messaged me about his upcoming divorce with my daugther ( i had no idea who she was married too as we have been NC for years), he told me that my daughter was abusive and he was able to leave that relationship after he realised it was a trauma bond he shared with her with the help of his parents,
he told me that my duaghter has been stalking my wife and her siblings ( the twins) and sent me screen shot messages that she had written to him about how she wanted to “kill them, and get them raped” ect, it was disgusting to be frank, i saved everthing and showed my wife, weeks later my daughter messaged me, keep in mind that this was the first time in years we spoke and asked me for money, she told me that she needed money and if i didnt send her “HER”inheritance ( mind you, i don’t even have A TRUST) she would sue me for all of my money, she and my son in law apparantly have a child who has down syndrome and she emphasised on her sons “problem”, i told her that while i was glad she reached out, i wanted no contact with her and sent her the screen shots of her wishing rape on her siblings that i got from my son in law, she ended up cursing THEM out and repeated what she said, my wife blocked her from our kids phones and my stepkids and i warned my ex who also recently married and had a kid with her husband, we blocked her number from our phones.
AITA?
Comments
NTA. Keep her cut off. Any further interaction will be just used an opportunity for more malicious behavior.
Nacho’d???
I’d report those messages to the police. Unfortunately, it seems your daughter might have a personality disorder – you can’t fix that and NC is your only option sadly – you have to put your family first. Even her own mum doesn’t want her around. It’s deeply sad but people like her really struggle to change.
NTA. She’s not just toxic, she’s dangerous. Threatening to kill or rape your other kids crosses a line you can’t walk back from, and protecting your family is the only right call here.
Nta
NTA. You tried to handle this in a way that protected your wife and kids, which is your responsibility as a husband and father. Your daughter has shown consistent abusive behavior, and even her ex-husband backed that up. Cutting her off after she threatened your family wasn’t only reasonable, it was necessary. Sometimes being a parent means recognizing when contact is toxic and dangerous.
NTA- Unfortunately your daughter has severe mental issues and you have to keep your wife and family safe from her. If she ever tries to contact you document, document, document it. Take screenshots, videotape her if she comes to your house, record phone calls if possible, etc. Then you have proof of her behavior for the police. I don’t know the situation between you and your ex-wife but I applaud you for letting her know as well so she and her family can also stay safe. Good luck.
NTA. You need to show a judge the screenshots and obtain a restraining order. For your kids sake. Get that sorted so they have a layer of legal protection between themselves and your other child.
Nta
Be careful.
Stepdaughters can be pretty horrible. Protect your wife and twins at all costs.
No it’s not wrong. You should get the police involved to get a protection order for your family.
Your job is to protect your wife, youngest children and your stepchildren from your crazy daughter. Run don’t walk to get this protection order.
Tell your wife and children to make it so their social media pages are completely private to strangers to prevent her from stalking their pages.
Also check all cars for tracking devices. Your daughter is a danger to everyone.
Quick question is the soon to be ex asking for full custody of their child? If so, hopefully you will be able to form a relationship with your grandson.
NTA. You need a restraining order!
How do you nacho someone? I love nachos.
Your daughter has serious mental health issues. It sounds like you are doing the right thing for your own sanity. I would keep an eye on your twins social media accounts so your daughter doesn’t sneak in and cause more drama. You’re NTA.
why haven’t the police been contacted yet? I would also update your your ex-wife.
NTA. I would keep away from that. Some people have really bad problems or personality disorders or whatever, but I wouldn’t risk it with the other kids.
It is of course sad that she turned out that way. Maybe instead of building bridges, pay for therapy to see if it helps. The burn thing was a cry for help, but she’s just not healthy about it. Has she ever had therapy?
Under what circumstances could you possibly be the asshole here?
I’m sorry this all happened, but this is completely disingenuous.
YTA for not involving the cops for the safety of your family because your daughter is fucked in the head.
NTA otherwise
Updateme
NTA….And after this, I would do anything to help the Son in Law get full custody of his child and away from your daughter.
Updateme
NTA, but I would go a step beyond NC and take all of those screenshots down to the local pd, file a police report, and go get a restraining order. She’s unhinged.
NTA. Do you have a will? It might not be a bad idea to put in writing how you want things split if something happened to you. Your daughter sounds malicious and she could make life hell for your wife and other children.
Blocking her is great, going NC is also great, but I would make sure there is a restraining order in place as well. She made horrible threats, that, at minimum, point to psychiatric problems.
Updateme
Contact the police and give them the screenshots. Your daughter is likely mentally ill and your wife and twins may be in danger. Don’t know if the police can do anything but just let them know and if your daughter contacts you again let her know that the police know.
Report this to the police. They will likely be unable to do anything but make sure this is KNOWN. If anything happens, you do NOT want to be in a he said – she said situation. See if you can get a restraining order based on her messages being seen as a threat
Would someone tell me how to get the cell phone numbers of people you’ve never met? It’s amazing that this happens in all these stories!
NTAH
Your daughter has some serious mental issues, press charges against her before she gets your family hurt or worse!
NTA
I think you need to file a police report so if she starts harassing you or your other kids or ex wife there is a record for a restraining order. Show them the stuff her ex sent you.