Throwaway account and I’m not going to go into super explicit details like ages or exact timelines.
My parents met when I was a baby. Dad’s my bio dad and his wife is my stepmom. Technically she’s the only mom I ever knew but I don’t call her mom anymore. I was forced to by them when I was a kid and my dad would tell me over and over she was my real mom and to hell with the woman who gave birth to me, she was a donor and nothing more. When I was in elementary school they started having kids together. One kid a year usually. Sometimes there was a couple of years between kids but not often enough.
They always used me to “help” and that demand of help grew as they had more kids. It was commented on by both of them that it was such a shame I wasn’t born a girl because it would have been more natural for me. But it didn’t stop them using me to take care of the kids they had. My stepmom was always telling me that she needed help and she never got the practice with me really so I needed to help her. And she’d say it was a good way for me to pay her back for taking me on as her own.
Eventually they were pulling me out of school certain days to take care of kids. And my “chores” were extensive. I had to feed the kids, clean up after the kids, take out the trash, help bathe and put kids to bed, change diapers, run errands for my parents outside the house, make sure the house was clean when people came over, take care of my stepmom if she was recovering from a birth, pick up takeout on my way home from school and it was on me to get to school and have lunch that day. Sometimes I was ready for school and about to leave when they pulled me for a “sick day”.
I actually had to move bedrooms too when I was still in elementary school. My parents put me into a connecting room with the nursery so I could get up with the babies and they could sleep and make more babies. A lot of nights if a kid got up my parents sent them into my room.
Eventually I had to keep track of everyone’s schedule and get kids to school. And they started pulling me out of school more. After a while it got flagged and questions were asked and I was interviewed and CPS was called. They fixed it for a while and got the heat off them but then they pulled me from school more and expected me to drop out once I was old enough to do it but the school intervened again and I was removed from the home.
I was placed with family and my parents were given CPS classes and therapy and other stuff. Sometimes I was forced to attend sessions with them and I said they had too many kids and couldn’t take care of them during a few sessions. I said I couldn’t trust them if they kept having kids. At the time I was told by my stepmom it was none of my business and I especially had no right to stop her when I wasn’t even hers.
There was always minimal contact after I was removed but CPS never put me back with them. My parents said they wanted to work things out with me and be a family again. But a few weeks ago I found out my stepmom’s pregnant again. This was kind of a final straw for me and I have effectively gone no contact with them. I debated letting them know and why but still don’t know if I should. They realized and started calling and texting a bunch and telling me I can’t walk away from my family and I have a whole lot of family who love and miss and need me.
AITA?
Comments
nta. they deserve it
For 1 thing your stepmother sounds ridiculous with that this is a good way of paying her back for taking you on as her own like wtf lady you signed up for that when you married a single parent smh. both of them sound absolutely dreadful and need to stop having babies.i don’t blame you at all for the no contact.NTA at all.dad and def that stepmother are the AH’s here.
Absolutely NOT the a$$hole!!! You are not a slave. If they want to keep having babies then they need to take care of them themselves.
Updateme
NTA. I have no doubt that they miss you for your labor, and maybe they’re so incompetent that they do actually need you, but I really doubt that they love you for any meaningful definition of “love.”
First of all so sorry you to go through all this, you’re definitely NTA
Interested to know all the ages of the kids and OP. The parentifiction here is Next Level. Shame on those 2, Their behavior is despicable. NC is the way to go here. Save yourself. Good Luck (NTA)
Don’t fall for that come on ,that’s just to get you to come back there because they’re going to need your help even more . stay away from them if they start up trying to get you home again call CPS !these people need to learn a lesson and if they need to get that she needs to get her tubes tied and your father needs to get a vasectomy. These people are out of control. They have more children than they can take care of and now with their prime sitter gone They’re going to be in deep trouble. Stay away from them and remember call CPS if you have more problems.AITA!
NTA Take care of you. Sorry your parents are shit.
NTA. How many kids do they have???
I’m curious as to how old you are now (how long this has been going on) and also how many kids they have? NTA, btw. I don’t care if they had one kid, siblings shouldn’t be raising siblings.
Just don’t respond. Put them on mute on your phone so you’ll get messages in case you need proof of anything. Go live your best life.
Block them they just want their unpaid nanny and housekeeper back.
How many kids do they have? And honey you are not the asshole you are protecting your mental health and sanity. Run run further. Try locating too move far
NTA. Thank fuck CPS and mandated reporters did their job this time and got you out of there. Look after yourself, bro.
NTA x 1000. They used you as a live-in, unpaid nanny. They are appalling parents. If having one of their kids taken away from them by CPS and being forced into parenting classes didn’t teach them anything, they are never going to learn, no matter what you say. You don’t mention your siblings outside of the care you were forced to give them so I’m guessing there’s not a great relationship going on with them either so you have no reason to stay in contact with them at all. Maintain your peace and go no contact, hard.
NTA
Call this what it is op. They literally enslaved you and made you into their lives in nanny. They sabotaged your education so you’d never leave and isolated you so you would have no avenue to escape.
Your step mother is insane and your father is a useless deadbeat.
They don’t love you and the only thing they miss is free child care.
If you want to go NC you need to destroy all avenues of contact so they can’t harass you because spoiled lunatics like this will never stop.
you did not ask to be born, and it’s your parents job to take care of the children they bring into this world. Parentification is so common. I hope the family you are with now lets you be a kid.
NTA, parentification is a form of abuse. You are better off not being involved as they’ll keep dragging you back in
NTA. Are they super religious or just f*cking stupid? Do they work? (I guess Stepmom doesn’t).
Anyway. Stay NC, enjoy your life. Look up your real mom if u want to, and don’t look back. Maybe, MAYBE, in the future, consider a relationship with your siblings but only if it’s YOUR choice
They have parentified and abused your for years. It got so bad that you were removed from their house. The feelings of obligation that you have are lying to you. You owe them nothing, they have been so very toxic to uou and stolen your childhood and tried to take your future.
Run, block and don’t look back. If you want, touch base with the local CPS and ask them to check on their other children but remember that you cannot truly and meaningfully help them unless you are stable and independent from those toxic so called parents.
NTA – parentification is abuse. If you don’t want to talk to them, don’t. Look after yourself OP.
Six of these blended family stories in one day? Jesus Christ.
I’m sorry you went through that. You were definitely abused and robbed of a normal childhood. NTA.
Just curious… how many kids do your parents have?
We’re any of the other children taken from CPS?
NTA
Sounds like they have a pregnancy kink and don’t actually want to be parents.
They treated you like a slave, you don’t owe them any kind of contact or access to you.
NTA! Not even close to being one. They literally used you as a live in nanny while they did nothing a parent should be doing. None of the stuff you did was your job,
You do not owe her a damn thing bc you didn’t ask her to be your stepmom that was forced on you. She chose to marry a single dad that’s on her! Stay NC and go back to school to better yourself. Also maybe seek some therapy to help you adjust to just being you without all the added pressure of being a single parent to kids you didn’t choose to have!
You CAN and SHOULD walk away from them. They sound very toxic and selfish. Don’t tell them, just walk away.
NTA. How old are you OP
NTA. They parentified you. You owe them nothing including explaining why you’re going NC.
Wow. What horrible people. Stay no contact. They are only contacting you now so you can help them with yet another baby! Hell no.
She treated you like an indentured servant not a child. She’s scum and you don’t owe either of them anything at all.
ETA: NTA
OP PLEASE STAND YOUR GROUND. DO NOT GO BACK HOME (?)!!!
YOU NEED to call CPS and tell them that your Dad and StepMonster are having another baby. That will be a dozen kids not including you. Good Luck. Get some scholarships go to College Make some money and have a wonderful happy life!
And remember to STAND YOUR GROUND!
You were taken away by CPS for abuse. You owe them absolutely nothing. You owe yourself peace. If you are able to get counseling and an education I strongly encourage it.
Sending big mom hugs.