I (18M) am going in another state to spend 3 days with my parents ( i still live with them) without my siblings (20M & 23F).
A bit of context before going into this, me and my family have not always seen eye to eye, we went to a family therapist and did a lot of work to try to make our relationships healthier. I dropped out of highschool last year ( even tho i had problems with going to school for a while before that),and I did a months in a mental health clinic and recently found a job in an organization. My sister is still in search of a job ( she failed her midterms and dropped out of university) and my brother is on the way on getting his liscence to open a butcher shop. We also live in a really small appartemnt that desparately needs to be rennovated but hasn’t for lack of fundings. When we first arrived here, there was mold covering the ceiling of one room, the shower had to be redone multiple times because the tiles on the wall keep breaking. We also don’t have the rights to do any sort of rennovation ourselfs because it’s my dad’s work provided housing and we can’t live anywhere else because of his work.
My mom(53) work in law and my dad(52) in informatics, we’re not poor but we ain’t that rich either. Since i dropped out i’ve been helping my mom and dad more with the menial tasks such as doing the laundry and the dishes. Cleaning the house, and putting the trash outside. My parents have tried to get my siblings to help but it doesn’t seem to matter what they do or say, my siblings simply don’t give a shit. My brother never cleans behind himself in the toilet, my sister hasn’t changed her bedsheets in a year( maybe more) even tho she’s in the appartment 24/7, when we ask for help they always seem to do things half way and never finish the task asked of them. It has been driving me nuts. We don’t ask much of them just to do enought ot keep their rooms clean to help put the table, to sometimes to laudrya and get the dishes out of the dishwasher when it’s finished ( and to be clean themself because my siblings have problems with hygiene , currently my brother has showered 2 time this week and my sister hasn’t washed her hair in 2 weeks, yes it’s a problem and yes we’ve tried everything and it doesn’t seem to bother them so my mother has given up on getting them to shower and brush their teeth regularly).
Less that 2 weeks ago my parents got an invite from some of my mom’s friend’s parents that wanted to get rid of some dishes and cutlery but they live quite away so we decided to take a weekend there and visit some of the sights. My mom decided to not take my siblings with us, i didn’t disagree at the time, and i kind still don’t because even today, my sister sat a the table at lunch time and watched us running around like headless chicken instead of helping us.
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I (18M) am going in another state to spend 3 days with my parents ( i still live with them) without my siblings (20M & 23F).
A bit of context before going into this, me and my family have not always seen eye to eye, we went to a family therapist and did a lot of work to try to make our relationships healthier. I dropped out of highschool last year ( even tho i had problems with going to school for a while before that),and I did a months in a mental health clinic and recently found a job in an organization. My sister is still in search of a job ( she failed her midterms and dropped out of university) and my brother is on the way on getting his liscence to open a butcher shop. We also live in a really small appartemnt that desparately needs to be rennovated but hasn’t for lack of fundings. When we first arrived here, there was mold covering the ceiling of one room, the shower had to be redone multiple times because the tiles on the wall keep breaking. We also don’t have the rights to do any sort of rennovation ourselfs because it’s my dad’s work provided housing and we can’t live anywhere else because of his work.
My mom(53) work in law and my dad(52) in informatics, we’re not poor but we ain’t that rich either. Since i dropped out i’ve been helping my mom and dad more with the menial tasks such as doing the laundry and the dishes. Cleaning the house, and putting the trash outside. My parents have tried to get my siblings to help but it doesn’t seem to matter what they do or say, my siblings simply don’t give a shit. My brother never cleans behind himself in the toilet, my sister hasn’t changed her bedsheets in a year( maybe more) even tho she’s in the appartment 24/7, when we ask for help they always seem to do things half way and never finish the task asked of them. It has been driving me nuts. We don’t ask much of them just to do enought ot keep their rooms clean to help put the table, to sometimes to laudrya and get the dishes out of the dishwasher when it’s finished ( and to be clean themself because my siblings have problems with hygiene , currently my brother has showered 2 time this week and my sister hasn’t washed her hair in 2 weeks, yes it’s a problem and yes we’ve tried everything and it doesn’t seem to bother them so my mother has given up on getting them to shower and brush their teeth regularly).
Less that 2 weeks ago my parents got an invite from some of my mom’s friend’s parents that wanted to get rid of some dishes and cutlery but they live quite away so we decided to take a weekend there and visit some of the sights. My mom decided to not take my siblings with us, i didn’t disagree at the time, and i kind still don’t because even today, my sister sat a the table at lunch time and watched us running around like headless chicken instead of helping us.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i’m going on a weekend with just my parents, we’re exluding my siblings because they don’t seem to do anything to help in the house even to we ask them to. Simply put AITA for not saying no to my mom and taking my siblings with me?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Imo this isn’t about you. You’re just a third-party caught in the cross-fire between your parents and siblings. Yes, adults should be able to pick up after themselves. But also, parents that don’t teach kids to be responsible after themselves, cannot seriously expect the kids to magically become responsible when they turn 18. That’s not how it happens. Your siblings will have to learn to become independent and face the world on their own instead of you all cleaning up after them.
Your parents made the decision regarding the trip. It wasn’t your idea. You’re just going along with it. Let them deal with your siblings being mad.
NTA. The trip is even an errand. Your siblings sound ridiculous.
For the question you ask NTA.
But this is not a healthy family environment, physically or mentally. There will be reasons for your siblings’ behaviour as there will be for your previous difficulties.
I encourage you to work hard and plan a more independent life when you feel able. It might be wise to keep this from your siblings and probably your parents too. Keep your money in a safe account that only you can access.
NTA for living life.
I’m not sure why this might make you an asshole. Did your sibs even signal any interest in going?
Also, umm, “dishes and cutlery?” lol It’s not like you’re gonna be lying on the beach having frou frou drinks.