My bf (M20) found mine (F19) vibrator when he was snooping through my room. When he found it I was completely honest and I havent actually used it since being with him. However, he is angry and told me it feels like I am cheating on him and he says he feels betrayed that I even got one in the first place. I had it prior to the relationship and honestly forgotten I still had it, however he is now threatening to break up with me, despite having had thrown it away and explained that it was bought prior to the relationship. I know I may have been a bit harsh but I told him that he was acting like a child and it wasn’t as serious as he was making it out to be. He is now ignoring me and refusing to answer my calls etc. I don’t know what to say to make it better.
AITA for having a vibrator whilst in a relationship
r/AITAH
Comments
NTA. You weren’t harsh, he is acting like a child. Threatening to break up over it is a red flag.
Let that ship sail and find someone not threatened by a toy
NTA. Take the free pass to break up with him. He’s extremely immature. Toys are extremely useful for some people. You and I know that women often need more stimulation than PIV intercourse, sometimes toys can help with that.
Also he literally violated your privacy and snooped in your room looking for reasons to be mad at you. Bet he’s looking for a reason to break up.
Your bf should transition into ex bf ASAP
Yuck this is definitely a “boy” friend threatened by a vibrator. It’s a red flag do with it what you will.
NTA and he is acting childish I mean you didn’t use it but even if you were I don’t see that big of a deal but that’s my opinion
A vibrator isn’t cheating, and his reaction is controlling. You did nothing wrong
No… you should be able to and he should want to use it on you
One day he’ll grow up and realize that a toy is a man’s best friend in the bedroom.
NTA the good news is that the actual trash appears to have thrown itself out.
Make him throw away his pacifier and then move on.
Your bf is nuts as I sincerely doubt he’s stopped pulling his prick while he’s been dating you. This is probably the best thing that ever happened to you (except the throwing out a vibrator part).
NTA. If he feels threatened by a bit of vibrating plastic, he needs to do some serious thinking. Also, he snooped through your stuff to try and find something to use against you or something? He is majorly gas lightening you
what a wuss i could have understand if you where like boy you dont do it for me so i have to use my toy when you are not around 😂
NTA. UGH this is actually so disgusting. I already know you’re not going take this to heart, bc I have had SO. MANY. GIRL. FRIENDS. that have gone through this- but, you should break up with him. This is a blaring red flag, fire alarm, everything.
GIRL. The fact that he made you feel bad about it is INSANE. The fact that he made you throw it away is INSANE. It will only get SO MUCH worse. Call me pessimistic, but my friends have dated this guy a million times, and it always ends with him sucking the life out of them. Good luck <3, genuinely. I hope you find someone who respects and loves you.
He’s not controlling, he’s an idiot. Literally a 20yr old is still a boy emotionally and mentally. Just think of him as a child that needs leading down the right path.
20-27 yr olds are generally the same as 17yr olds but can vote and drink.
NTA. You guys are young, he doesn’t understand. Hell, someday you’ll find someone who encourages you to bring your toys to play time 😉
NTA. Break up with the manchild. Being upset about a vibrator shows low self-esteem and immaturity.
No no you are not. And don’t want to be with someone who makes it a problem. No you don’t. NTA.
Nope
Absolutely NTA. If he’s intimidated by toys, he ain’t it. Be grateful he showed his ass early!
He’s too immature for a relationship. Let him go, and you go find a grown-up man!
NTA. Kick Mr. Insecurity to the curb now. Like he doesn’t rub one out when he wants.
He’s a fucking idiot. He’s let you know now that he’s immature, controlling and insecure.
Get single and buy a new vibrator.
How you pleasure your own body alone is no one’s business- not even a boyfriend or husband.
Break up, keep the toy. Get the pleasure without the drama and problems
Massage his butthole with it. He will get over it .
NTA.
That’s some weak ass shit from the BF. Find greener pastures and set yourself free.
Signs that it is time for you to get a new toy and dump the boyfriend. Additional: you are not required to get a new boyfriend
NTA your BF is insecure if he’s betrayed by a vibrator.
NTA move on. Unless he can tell you that he never jerked off in his life. He’s immature and not long term material.
Sounds like hes insecure and you should buy yourself a new one and get rid of him. My ex was like this and he used it as a way to control my needs. Run now. It gets worse. Toys are great in a healthy relationship and a partner should see them as a helper not a threat
Ask him how many times he masturbates and it will be a lot if he is honest….goose gander get rid of him
I do not understand this generation of boys
well if you keep seeing that boychild you are definitely the asshole to yourself.
I’ve learned that some men tend to be intimidated by vibrators and do not deal with them well at all- meaning, even knowing that I have one is upsetting to them and they complain about it and make it an issue. Their problem entirely. I just laugh it off.
NTA and drop him.
Like he’s never yanked his own dick… run while you have the opportunity.
Find a man who will use it with you. There’s nothing wrong with self pleasure. He’s being insecure. It also makes me mad for you he snooped through your room to find it. You’re NTA
Ask him if he’s masturbated since yall got together. 100% the answer is yes. It’s no different. He needs to grow up or you need to go on.
NTA. Self-pleasure is always valid even if you’re in a relationship – it’s your body, your choice, your agency.
Lots of people also like to use toys with their partner.
You shouldn’t have thrown the toy away, you should have thrown the shitty man-baby away. It’s also BS that he’s snooping through your room. Dump him now, and buy yourself a new vibrator.
I need you to see this for the red flag it is.
This man does not have a healthy understanding of sex toys, experimentation, kinks or sexual communications.
This man does not have a healthy view of women, nor prioritizes their pleasure like his. He doesn’t have an good understanding of women’s bodies.
This man does not have healthy self-esteem. He cannot easily empathize with those he cares about and feels threatened/jealous.
This man does not respect the boundaries of his partners. He feels entitled to violate their privacy and control their bodies.
Please end your relationship over this. I promise you will have more.
There’s nothing wrong with having toys and no stable individual with an ounce of maturity would have an issue with this
As a Male I say leave him. Nothing wrong with yoh owning a toy or toys. Very immature
Toys are so much fun that’s brutal
Why “make it better” for an ego that frail and controlling. Did you ask him if he ever masturbated since you two got together? And he had no business going through your stuff.
What an absolute child. Tell him you’ll save him the bother and do the breaking up for him!!!
lol.. tell him that when he shakes it more than once it means he is cheating on you. Now he can be your ex!!!!
NTA
WTAF? I hope you broke up with him. What kind of guy is insecure about a freaking vibrator? You have every right to use it before, during and after your relationship with me. You think he doesn’t jerk off? Don’t try to call him back again, ever.
Fuck man. My wife and i have a great sex life. We buy her any vibro/dildo/toy she gets a hankering for. There is a line item in the budget for sex toys.
I won’t make too much of a judgement on you or the man, but ain’t no part of a healthy relationship going to limit someone’s sex life like that. That behavior is about shame, control, or ignorance. Or all 3.
Good luck.
I bet this dude whacks it like 3x a day
Girl it’s not cheating, it’s a battery powered toothbrush for the soul 😅
He saved you the trouble of breaking up with his dumbass. NTA OP but he’s a full blown shit heel.
Get that out of the trash and replace it with him. Hes an insecure little boy. Be gone with him!
He’s acting like you cheated with Optimus Prime.
He needs to grow up some. My wife and I have several different types and she lives using one during certain types of intercourse.
Plus, remote controlled ones can be LOTS of naughty fun in public! (And yes, that’s for both of us)
What, women can’t use sex aids? Or are we just not allowed to fly solo?
Dump his ass. For all of his anger and accusations and threats.
But go back to the beginning. He snooped through your room.
Massive ted flags flying!!!
NTA!
So first things first, was there even any reason for why he was snooping your room? He must’ve had to been really snooping, especially cause he found your vibrator(violates your privacy too). Also it seems like your bf is getting upset due to the fact that he thinks you are pleasuring yourself to the toy instead of with him. You didn’t betray him at all you used to use it prior to the relationship then you forgot about it when you met him. So no you’re not the asshole. The fact that he is acting childish and ignoring your text/calls over this small misunderstanding is such an ick. If his fragile masculinity cant get over the fact that you USED to have a vibrator i would just leave. But if you can convince him that you never used it while with him then maybe he’ll come around.
Yeah tell him to cut off his hands since he probably masturbates daily and is cheating on you with himself.
The biggest issue is why he was snooping through your room in the first place.
Secondly, toys aren’t opposition, they’re teammates.
Get rid and find someone with comfortable self esteem
NTA- Boyfriend isn’t mature enough to be in a relationship
NTA and absolutely ridiculous. First you can have your toy and use it whenever you want, second assuming you two are having sex, he should WANT to be the one to use it for your benefit in addition to any other activities.
Girl, let that man break up with you! Better get, dump his ass! Do you tell him he’s cheating on you if he pleasures himself? He’s an insecure little man baby. Don’t waste your time on this joker. This is a red flag.
Why would you want to make this better? He is acting like a petulant child, getting jealous over an inanimate object that hasn’t even been used since you met him. I recommend releasing him to the wild because he clearly is not ready for an adult relationship. Also, I’m sure he’s still jacking off whenever he feels like it. Ask him if that is also cheating so he can tell you what a hypocrite he is.
NTA, but please don’t stay with a dude who acts like this. You deserve better.
NTA. find a partner who knows how to use a toy as a tool and doesn’t see it as competition
NTA. Immature boyfriend = hard work for you.
He was acting like a child. What a loser.
NTA. By any means.
Any man…. Ahem, man-child, that is so intimidated by it aren’t mature enough to be in a relationship, imo. He’s not old enough to realize that bodies change due to life stress, children, age, etc and while every guy wants to think they can rock their gals world, sometimes we do, and sometimes she needs/wants that extra oomph AHHHH. Toys are fun, at least that’s what the Mrs tells me. I really don’t get his mindset. Tell him every time he’s choked the chicken he’s cheated on you…
NTA- a great boyfriend will actually incorporate that into your intimate time together. He’s being childish and insecure
NTA , having one can be so much fun and a relationship saver. He needs to cop on to himself… think you may need to skip this one until he matures.
NTA, if he feels threatened and cheated on by a toy then he’s extremely insecure. Let him walk out of your life. I promise you you’re not missing out on much.
He may be 20 but he’s still clearly a child. He violated your trust by snooping which is wrong in its own right, and he’s playing victim on top of it??? Girl………
The two of have have different views and values. Break it off so the 2 of you can find partners that are like minded.
NTA. Dump this baby. You can do better. This one needs to crawl back up his mommy’s coochie and do some more cooking.
You don’t say anything to make it better. He just showed you a bunch of red flags where it is time to walk away.
He is:
•Insecure because of a vibrator
•Trying to control you
•Punishing you for having a vibrator via silent treatment.
•Snooping through your belongings
You are allowed to use a vibrator when in a relationship because it is a tool, not a sexual partner.
Silent treatment is abuse – Not to be confused with taking some space to cool off, which is healthy.
He is soooo immature. That is a boys reaction. A mature partner would encourage you to grow and become an even more sexy goddess. Reddit says dump the chump it is your choice
NTA. We have a box full of toys for both of us. The Mrs has her favorite vibs.
Run away. Any one that objects to you understanding your body and your pleasure and how that make sex so much better is a moron.
NTA, drop his ass and find you someone who will happily use your favorite toys on you.
NTA. Now replaced the discarded vibe wth a cordless Hitachi and get someone that prioritizes your pleasure and needs.
Damn, I’m OLD. My partner and I used toys TOGETHER.
NTA. I encourage my gf to GET TOYS to help out. I can not always satisfy her needs and I know she needs a little more… he’s clearly not mature enough for you. Get your toy back and find a man that will use both himself and the toy to make you happy, you deserve it.
NTA. If his manhood is being threatened by a vibrator, then you may just tell him goodbye.
Young boys will always act like children
Nta. But wait. He violated your privacy & snooped through your room? Is he really jealous & threatened by a piece of plastic/rubber? Seriously?! He isn’t mature enough to be in any relationship. It is 100% normal to experiment. That’s how you figure out what you like, what
You don’t like, how your body works, what it responds to, etc. tell me he has never pleasured himself?! Because it’s the same thing. And if you are like a very large % of women, it’s the fastest/easiest way to get there. And it’s something you could have explored together. Please please dump him. If he’s so insecure & angry over something that doesn’t have anything to do w him- it’s ridiculous. Him trying to shame you because he’s insecure- absurd. Really.
NTA. You should absolutely take this opportunity to break up with him. He’s an untrustworthy, insecure, controlling asshole who thinks he has the right to control whether or not you are allowed to touch your own body.
Sounds like a boy child, DUMP him for a man
NTA. hes that upset about something you dont even use and legit forgot you even had, yet if he was mature about it he would have realized the fun you guys could’ve had together with it. Me and my bf frequently use a vibrator during sex it stimulates both of us, and sometimes I use it by myself. Plus it adds a bit more spice to the situation.Sex toys are in no way cheating lol, it’s like trying to tell a guy that jerking himself off is cheating.
(Edit) side note: him going through your personal belongs is also a huge breach of your privacy and definitely a red flag.
Holy fuck, I have used a vibrator with my wife. I have no idea what’s wrong with this fellow.
EDIT: Hitatchi magic wand. Yeah. We’ve got attachments for it.
He’s doing you a favor. Block him and find someone better. That’s a pretty low bar. He’s a schmuck.
No. Toys are awesome. He sounds like a child.
NTA. What a dork.
NTA and I am petty so I would go snoop around his house before breaking up with him.
He doesn’t own you. You’re not his property. Your body is your own and you decide what touches it. I would break up with him. Don’t try to “make it better.” He should be doing that. Show him all these comments and let him know what a jerk he is.
If you’re with a man who feels threatened by a vibrator, choose the vibrator. Toys are friends, not competition.
Sincerely: a man
Edited to add obviously NTA.
I wouldn’t have thrown it away. What a pussy. I don’t think dumping him is the answer. He’ll get over it. Maybe he was offended by it’s size? Anyway, don’t feel bad.
Once he grows up a little you can show him how much more fun it can be when there are toys involved. He’ll be running out to buy them watch. Lol
I wasn’t a fan in the beginning either but I never made her throw anything away. That shit isn’t cheap if you want one that’ll last. NTA. He’ll come around.
NTA. He threatened to BREAK UP WITH YOU over a vibrator? I’d call his bluff – no way am I trashing my own property just to assuage a man’s ego. Even if youd been using the vibrator every day – you are completely allowed to do so.
Is he with you 24/7? No vacations, no downtime, just ready to go the moment you are no matter what? No, because that’s not realistic. Therefore, it’s unrealistic to expect you would never experience sexual need when he’s not available. And even then, from what you say, you hadn’t used it since being with him. Truly there is no reason for him to be so pressed except that he thinks he has some level of ownership over you and your sexuality.
Take the free pass to be done with this stubborn ass. If you dont take that route and decide to stay together, I think you should have a serious talk about sex and bodily autonomy. And, you need to make sure your beliefs and values in this area are compatible – some people simply aren’t.
Do yourself a favor and break up. He has absolutely ZERO say in your personal relationship with your own body. Period. Lol if he’s worried about your toy, can you imagine how he’d act when he figured out you have male friends?
Question? What’s the size of the toy? I mean it’s obviously, at least, a little bit bigger than him, or his stupid insecurities wouldn’t be an issue. But if we are talking about a 3-footer, then maybe cut him a little slack🤷
He violated your boundaries by snooping and then acts like you’re cheating on him with a vibrator that you weren’t even using. He then threatens to dump you over an object and then ghosts and sulks. He’s immature and insecure and you deserve better.
Girl I’d rather have the vibrator then deal with that mantrum.
NTA. He has no right to go through your stuff and using a vibrator on yourself isn’t cheating. He’s a controlling psycho. Leave him.
He snooped your room! That’s enough of a violation to warrant being ex bf
NTA. He’s snooping through your room without your consent. Not a good sign regarding respecting you as a person.
He’s so insecure he’s jealous over a piece of plastic? Really not a good sign. Are you going to spend your whole life limiting what you do, say, own, wear, etc so he feels threatened? How much control are you going to hand over? Decide now.
He’s threatening to leave you? Really? He’s offering you a great gift.
When someone shows you who they are believe it the first time. Be grateful he took himself out the door and you don’t have to deal with him anymore.
You are 19. You have so much life ahead of you. Please, please invest the next decade or so in being yourself, pursuing what’s important to you, and showing the exit to anyone who tries to squash or control you.
Find someone who’s excited to share all of life’s adventure with you and still sees you as your own, separate person not and appendage or reflection of them.
(Also: Owning and using a vibrator when you are also in a relationship has NOTHING to do with your partner. You’d be amazed how many happily married couples have sex toys they use individually and/or together. )
Angry over that? That’s a new level of insecurity. I would encourage working together. Definitely makes it more fun and entertaining.
I didn’t even have to finish reading the whole explanation to know it’s time to leave this very immature boy. NTA
Even putting the snooping aside, he was very demanding, threatening to break up and when you actually were able to speak, he gets pissy and gives you the silent treatment?
Bounce, girl. Proud of you for defending yourself in the argument. Keep that up in subsequent relationships!
He’s showing what an emotional child he is. Not relationship material. He’s more of a boy than a man.
Break up with him and maybe enjoy some freedom before jumping into another relationship. Figure out who you are. You’re still so young.
NTA. Sounds super self conscious. When I found out my girlfriend had a vibrator, I honestly thought it was kind of hot and we started even using it in the bedroom. His loss.
Sounds like you’re dating an insecure boy. Toys can be fun when both parties trust each other.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. The way to make it better is to buy another vibrator, and also find a man to share your life with instead of a petulant child. The thing to say is “bye” and “block”.
I wouldn’t choose a vibrator over a man I liked. But I would definitely choose a vibrator over a man who felt threatened by a vibrator.
NTA
Let him go he’s not mature enough
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Obviously he ain’t doing his job if he jealous of a vibrator
NTA. The though of a sex toy (the most vanilla toy you can possibly get btw) being treated as “cheating” sounds so absurd that it never crossed my mind as something someone would ever say. Your BF is extremely immature and needs to grow up. I don’t think this warrants a break up but if his attitude persists for a while afterwards, I would reconsider the situation because something in his head isn’t clicking right.
Id say “Im breaking up with you”, that will make it 100% better.
NTA. Not only is he being an insecure control freak, what was he doing searching your room? That’s a massive invasion of privacy.
Bro what??? He is threatening to break up with you over a vibrator??? My husband gets excited to use that kind of stuff on me. I think your bf is deeply insecure. Let him break it off and find a man that is secure in his masculinity.
He was snooping through your things and he’s the one who feels betrayed?!?!
Seems like you need to trade the new dildo in for your old vibrator.
He is acting like a child and he’s the AH, you’re not. Someone has a tiny ego.
Ten years from now he’s going to look back at this moment & say to himself “What the fuck was I doing?”
You’re light years ahead of him sexually & in regards to maturity. He’s still a boy. Not his fault but you don’t need this anchor holding you down.
YTA your dating a man child my wife has two I paid for both of them.
NTA – This can be countered quite easily. Does he still jerk off? If he says yes then having a vibrator is no different. If he says no then he’s lying AND having a vibrator is still not different.
Really though, take this opportunity to drop him because he’s an AH and isn’t worth your time.
Maybe ask him to cut off his right hand then,as it’s used for basically the same thing….
NTA. Soooo why is he snooping in your room in the first place? He doesn’t respect your privacy. Using a toy is not cheating. He’s definitely being an immature jerk and you should go ahead and let him break up with you.
Everyone is saying he’s immature, which he is. You’re both young. He’s not thinking “am I really jealous of a toy?” He’s thinking he’s not good enough for you. In 10-15 years he’ll think about this and cringe. You’re not an asshole, and neither is he. He’s just confused. End it if you want, it doesn’t matter. If you do end it, maybe emphasize not fucking go poking around someone’s stuff because you’re gonna always find something.
He violated your privacy with the sole intention of finding something he could use to punish you. I’d guess since he is so focused on cheating it’s a deflection of his own behaviour. Run away, and never look back.
Maybe it’s just because I’m old but I wouldn’t tolerate this at all.
Im 46 and I’ve spent thousands on toys for everyone I’ve ever dated that wanted them. It’s never been an issue.
Time to find someone new. I hope there are boys in your age range that are a little more open minded. Life is too short for closed minded immature babies.
NTA. He’s acting like a child.
Heck, I bought one and gifted it to my husband to use together. A good man won’t be threatened by plastic.
NTA,
You boyfriend has mental issues, by his logic every time he has a wank he is cheating on you.
Why are you accommodating this guy? He’s insecure and controlling. You deserve better. NTA
Are telling me that he never masturbates? They say that 95% of all men masturbate… the other 5% are liars!!
NTA. Girls can have fun too.
If he’s threatened, he’s insecure.
He is a child. He has no right to snoop through your things. Take this opportunity to walk away. Consider yourself lucky you found out now
Lol what. He’s ridiculous and immature. NTA
NTA. Your bf feels inferior to a plastic vibrating thing, is that really someone you want to be with? This is just the start to many problems
NTA- he doesn’t get to control what you do with your body when you’re by yourself . this is a bizarre and controlling request for him to be making and raises red flags for him mistreating you down the line in other ways
First off why are you ok with him snooping thru your room? 2nd, he beats off, so he’s being a little bitch.
I’m a guy
I have a vibrator and I’m married he’s the one who encouraged me to get it in the first place. If that helps at all
My partner and I just bought a vibrator together lmao.
Let this child go.
NTA. He’s an immature, insecure child. He violated your privacy by searching your room and showed that he does not and never will trust you. He was actively looking for a reason to be angry, harass and punish you. The silent treatment is emotional abuse. Drop him now. His abuse will escalate. He’s not worth it. You deserve much, much better. Release him to play his abusive games with someone else.
NTA. Run and embrace that vibrador.
DTMFA
He clearly has no respect for your sexual autonomy. And he’s incredibly insecure to feel threatened by a checks notes inanimate object.
Why would you even want to make it better? Find a partner who prioritizes your pleasure! It’s awesome when you have a good, giving, and game lover who wants to explore together.
Wishing you a lifetime of satisfying sex, with and without power tools!
Keep the vibe and get rid of the dick, and penis attached to it.
Are you sure he’s 20 because he’s acting like a 12 year old, a very insecure 12 year old at that. Lots of red flags here; tread carefully.
Getting to know your body is part of growing up. Who is a man to tell you it’s wrong?! It’s healthy and he missed an amazing opportunity to enjoy it, if you were comfortable showing him how you use it. He seems insecure and immature. NTA you’re very young, please don’t let someone impact your sexuality. Someone called me a nympho- I never let go the same way again with that person. It’s not worth staying in a sexually incompatible relationship that involves someone shaming you. No one has the right to shame you
Mine is a medical device and with me at all times…
Good heavens what an immature boy. Go get a man that will buy you toys lol. My last husband did and it was amazing.
Don’t say shit, ‘cept for maybe swerve when that guy pulls his head out his own ass. He’s just mad, because he can’t fit the vibe in there as well. You weren’t harsh. He was being a child. Being harsh is telling him you bought it because he’s terrible and you’ve been faking.
Is he officially threatened by all plastics and things that can use electricity?! What are you guys gonna do; move to a castle in the British countryside?! That’s probably the only hope of your relationship making it. If he’s that bent out of shape over a vibrator, what the hell’s gonna happen when he finds out that you have guy friends or have even talked with guy strangers on the Internet!!!
Keep the vibe, get him a fleshlight as a parting gift. It’ll give him something to remember you by and something for him to do, as it’s clear it won’t be women based on how he treats em.
LMAO nta at all, just run. my bf loves mine, esp when he’s too tired
NTA. Keep the vibrator and lose the insecure guy.
Sincerely, a guy.
Why is he going through your stuff? That’s boundary & trust violation.
You can use it every dang day, it doesn’t matter when you last used it. It’s not his business.
How on the Lord’a green Earth is this possibly cheating ?? Even if he has some personal/religious/moral view on masturbation, he cannot tell you what to do with your body. (But let’s be real, he probably does it regularly.)
I would bet money that the issue he has with it is because he’s insecure. Maybe it’s the size of his manhood or his doubt in his ability to please you.
You guys are young, but he is too immature to be having sex if he’s having this hard of a time wrapping his brain around you having a sex toy. He really needs to grow up and you are not responsible to teach him how to be a mature, sexually active adult. You are wasting your time with this guy. If I were you, I’d delete his number and move on.
NTA. DTMFA. He’s an immature and insecure guy. Plus toys are amazing to use together. Too bad he doesn’t realize it. If he’s giving you this level of treatment over this it’s cool, the trash is taking itself out.
NTA. Omfg no! Absolutely not! If you have a vagina it’s harder to get off during sex and you need to take care of your own pleasure. That being said if your significant other is so butt hurt about then integrate it into your bedroom activities together.
🤔
If he wants to act like a bitch, might as well use it on him.
Every woman who’s any woman anywhere has a vibrator. And mature men don’t give a shit if we do. Throw this child out of your bedroom and keep the vibrator.
Nta
A lot to unpack in this. Speaking as a dude that’s nearly twice yours ages.
Snooping, quite childish and invasion of privacy. I assume curiosity got the best and wanted to peak through all the nooks and crannies to see what was found. Not cool.
Showing anger? Over a toy? Not cool. Cheating is a huge stretch and part of me wants to say projection is admitting some guilt, but I believe it’s immaturity and missing some self confidence as a person.
Not speaking to you over this? Fine. Bye. Want to play stupid games, you get to win stupid prizes.
As a father to a daughter, he sounds immature and controlling. I wouldn’t want this for my daughter and I definitely don’t want this for anyone else.
NTA
Break up with him. Don’t throw away your things for an insecure dude. I bet anything that he masturbates.
NTA. It’s a vibe.
>M20 (…) found mine vibrator (…) it feels like I am cheating on him
ignoring me and refusing to answer my calls
He is making you a favor: he is not yet mature enough to be in a relationship
> he was acting like a child
Yes.
>AITA
No.
Any “”normal”” dude wouldn’t have gotten angry at all AND maybe they would have invited you to use it during sex (at least thats what i would do).
Tell him if he can get you off on the regular, you won’t need it.
NTA he’s a total man baby and is get rid of him…
Probs dosent even know how to get a woman off
NTA. oh brother this guy stinks. i ask my man to grab my vibe mid going at it all the time. it isn’t cheating, it’s a literal toy. he’s definitely being childish especially since he wants to ignore you now. if he can’t talk to you about it, it might be time for you to consider if this is worth it to you or not.
Kick him to the curb and let him watch porn instead
NTA. Please free yourself of this manchild asap though.
Say goodbye. You’ll find better.
“Goodbye” works.
To me, the snooping itself is a red flag. Who tf rummages through someone else’s stuff? Losers, that’s who.
Hard pass on that. Move along now.
How insecure is he?!
Lol. Ask him if he still cranks it. Is that cheating?
You’re doing nothing wrong.
Everyone cranks it.
I think you threw the wrong one in the garbage.
Haha ask him how his hand is doing since you’ve been together
Wrap a ribbon around the vibrator. Give it to him and say this is the only thing that will fuck you now and leave him. NTA
NTA. He violated your privacy. Nothing wrong with sex toys when used safely. Cheated on him with that? He has issues. Take the opportunity to leave this dude.
NTA
Im not one for thr usual reddit “let him go” before having a proper conversation and trying to worl things out, but he’s already 20 and he still has the mentality of “womens pussy only for my god dick!”
Maybe if you take him up on the breakup and tell him youre sexual pleasure was not entirely dependent on him and is now no longer his business, he might realise a man’s dick isnt the gift from god many like him think.
Let him go. He isn’t mature and confident enough for a relationship.
You threw away the wrong tool.
Find a man who wants to use it with you.
Let him break up with you. I can promise you he masturbates too. Masturbation is not cheating. It’s only cheating if you’re a selfish asshole. If you stay with this guy permanently, you will be unhappy. There’s nothing you can say to “make it better,” because you can’t make him grow up with words. Be thankful that you found out what a miserable jerk he is in time. Besides, what the hell is he doing snooping in your room??
Big red flag if a guy views sex toys as anything other than a useful and helpful tool for healthy couples.
Meanwhile, I buy my wife vibrators
Unless he is a double hand amputee he can’t say shit. Have your fun.